for a minute it smelled like the sea
one thousand miles inland
it smelled like ozone
just for a minute in march in new york
remember when you used
to go to florida when they were alive

they want one of those little mirrors
that allow you to see inside yourself
the one dentists use
so they can check for cavities
and places where they're disappearing away

I can
not tell
who in
this room
swallowed
the music.

summer came and went quietly without a sound
and yet loud enough to drown in

and the news glows and grows dim
and glooms like matchsticks in the corner

I stare at the sky when it’s available

ruminating and things pile up
but why do I sleep so soundly still;
I wasn’t meant to

oh, it’s been so long
I like to fool myself but it really hasn’t
been long since we were in the same room
even if that room were outside; and leaves were falling
and cars were going by
but since then you’ve been
recent, and recent you will
always be

instead of surprise, people embrace in the light
love in the light, hug in the light
smile and look into it like it’s something beautiful like an eye
the sky is illuminated from below
everything is slowly illuminated and then quickly
plates shaking wonderfully inside the house
houses are plucked off the ground and shake into the sky
apartment buildings fall upward into the clouds
the electricity roars overwhelming
your hair stands up on end built on static
a last kiss before the end
learn to love the light, kid

I am the result of me for years
I am my own Sariel I erase myself
Like the soil like the sea
My brain forever marred by me
My mind forever stranger still
With every wipe more cracks and seams
The pain is gone but am I clean?
No;
And damage comes and goes
Conceived by illness as it grows