enriched macaroni product
(wheat flour, glyceryl, mono
stearate, niacin, ferrous sulfate
(iron),
thiamin mononitrate (vitamin b1)
riboflavin vitamin b2 folic acid)
cheese sauce mix (whey, malto
dextrin, corn syrup solids salt palm
oil modified food starch milk
fat milk protein concentrate con
tains less than 2% of tomatoes
milk mediumchaintriglycerides sodium
tripolyphosphatecream citricacidsodiumphosphatelacticacid naturalflavour* onions* tricalciumphosphatepartiallyhydrog
enatedsoybeanandcottonseedoil guargum monosodiumglutamate garlic**yellow5yellow6spicemalicacid enzymes disodiumguanylatedisodiuminosinate artificialflavour cheeseculturemodifiedfoodstarchmaltodextrinpotassiumchlorideacety­latedmonoglyceridessaltmediumchaintriglyceridesapocarotenal(colou­r)contains;
wheat
milk

forcing myself to say hello
forcing myself to say goodbye when you go

you keep saying the thing I am, I am something that won't will be, when we are something that will never not won't will be, and I agree, you see. However for the time it takes something I am, I am something to blossom, with all of the ways in which I can be, there is will for me to be. Whereas your will to not be won't let you will be.

when I get into my friend’s car
it’s hard
it’s too high above the road
and I’m not that good at stick, I’m told
I end up ******* it up
which is why I don’t do it

when I sit down and try to
write about my friend’s life
it’s too high above the road
and I’m not good at fibbing, I’m told
I end up ******* it up
For both me and them

which is why I don’t do it.

back then there were no
people sharing ideas
on personal monitors
people didn't like
talking about
certain things
but I know for a fact
yes there was desk writing
when my mother
was ***** several
times and her mother
didn't do anything
she didn't think
anyone would lis
ten so she cut
her hair and
tried her best
I know she did
no one discussed
things like that
no one called
the police and
the police were all
men who would
probably say
she was to blame
just because she looked it
the same men who
thought you could turn
offtheflowjust
likethat
the same men who
joke about handling
human beings
innocent, stupid
uneducated
"protecting"
I would not feel safe
even though
I am a man
I do not feel safe
yet now I am here
I am proof that
she picked herself
backtogetherallthelittlepieces
and walked on
she's stronger than
any *******
musclehead
policeman I know.

you left the window open during the rain
you left the shades open and now it's cold again
you won't open the door
I don't hear you cross my path anymore
I truly don't spite you
ok maybe I do
what is it that I like about you?

gifts that i have from people that aren't in my life anymore
remind me of dust in an empty jar
when we moved i planned to use it for something besides dust
but i never did
i was too busy living life
the jar is my grandmother
she still sends cards
well, they're in her name
dates for our birthdays (if she still remembers)
we visitted the cemetery and we found out aunt Coreen died
should i compare this to a gift from a past lover
a vessel for something dead
a pressed flower
potpourri
i don't want to think of the structure of absense of her memories
none of us do
that is why we treat her like a gift
of a past lover
locked away
but not thrown away