I catch a glimpse of you
Through what’s left of that bottle—
Flavor—nothing I’d ask,
The burn and grimace still the same—

Your inverted image slips away
So tender, innocent and new—
The shade of the dangerous liquid
Painted you so tall and golden—

And there I continue and drink;
Trying to get a taste of you—

Paradise, 2018

She wears the worn lives of her past,
It graces her skin, so delicate and rare—
Though still, she moves elegant and fair
Her hinderance still her most punishable trait—

When I find myself entrapped
Amongst the glass walls you built
I find that you are just on the other side
I want to shatter and break and destroy
I feel that old feeling in my throat
As it also begins to freeze my heart again
I bang against those clear walls that bind me
Where you are just an armreach away
But even then you are ignorant of me
Oblivious to the way I aim to serve you
You are the air I breathe and the thing
That still bridges me between life and death
I am under your complete, total control
Emotionless, you watch from the beyond
As you admire your creation and your ****

you dissipate faster than the stars
that shelter themselves at dawn;
but compared to your eyes, my love
the stars are nothing in comparison

and at last, i leave you
because i have failed you;
no longer shall i see your eyes
catch the sun in such a daring pose

Paradise, 2018

I never got to see you again—
Well, I still do,
Just not in the usual sense,
No longer do I catch the gleam of sun your eyes.

But that doesn’t matter anymore—
At least I thought it didn’t,
It is odd and scary to think of you in such a way,
but I thought it didn’t matter anymore.

Oh, but it is that place of sadness that defeats me—
It is quiet and your thoughts live there with me,
Where I wash away your sins from my back,
And where I learned I am nothing without you.

You become one with my own sins—
Where I tried to justify yet you would not listen,
It wasn’t intelligence that you sought,
It was just sweet nothings.

Gems, so precious they are—
Here in the abandoned alley where I would wait,
Where I would hear your voice coming from my phone,
“Hello?”—You’re still there.

And though I still ache for November,
Still, I am alone in the pale, grey summer morning,
Metal and concrete chills me to the core,
Three beeps—You’re not there.

Paradise, 2018

I stare, on my screen,
A grid of aligned numbers
You’re just two taps away
But I cannot reach you

Alive is the burn in my throat
I drink, hoping to forget—

“Please leave your message for…”
Says the machine on the other line
I try to use my best words
Which can no longer come to me

Paradise, 2018