i am at the intersection of eloquence and impotence
and i fell fractionally in love tonight
with a stranger that intimated me knowingly
and in little moments they gave me bits of soul
as i presented mine in coffee spooned drops
when a stare is a venture
when a stare is a hazard
when a stare is a question
and the candlelight flutters shadows as heartbeats
and my universe is disturbed

i am squeezing my brain like an orange
wringing out the last pulpy bits of thoughts
to create something
not new nor revolutionary
but altogether me
i am too often open to embrace
likening to a flower accepting sunlight
and i am too little at seizing and advancing
grasping with a deep need to form
and i squeeze my brain like an orange

being loved by a tiger
in so much of a way that sitting in the palm of their hand
or nestled in the crook of their neck
to know that no harm would come in those moments
to be nestled in the jaws of a beast
with such deep suredness that no bite would come
to be freely foolish and lovingly laughable
trusting so implicitly in that love like a universal

i
am
thinking of nothing
and you ask me

what
i
am
thinking about?

i am thinking about how nice it is to be thinking about nothing with you

I am not going to cry
Because I feel sad, helpless, alone and it is the first day of middle school
I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from flowing
I ball my fists to stop my breathing from shaking
I will not cry right here
I am not gonna cry
Because I messed up, I made a mistake, and I'm so lost and don't know what to do next
I stop, breathe deep, and calm the histrionics
I close my eyes and withdraw from the world for a beat
I will not cry right here
I'm not gonna cry
Because I'm nervous, anxious, and away from home for the first time
I stand up straight and go through the motions
I breathe deep, shut eyes, take a beat
I won't cry right here
i won't cry
because i'm needed, because i'm strongest, because i'm reliable
stand, breathe, pause, go.
smile, breathe, comfort, breathe, go.
help, care, brave, go.
(there will be time to breathe later)
do, and go and do and go.
breathe. breathe. breathe?
i can't cry
i squeeze my eyes to give it a try
i curl into a ball and they remain dry

kafka on the shore
shakespeare in the park
the person I adore,
leaves a particular mark

hemmingway on the coast
nietzsche in the peaks
this person is the most
to them doth my embrace reach

anonymous will rage
so that I will turn the page
so my heart speaks
of love it doth teach

here at the beach
as sand passes the glass
my amor in the dark
of you i preach and adore

vivacious
vividly vivacious
life blood bleeds through my veins
i am so alive
my moments are treasures i keep close
my moments are quests i seek to find
the wind flows around me as i ponder the universe
the steam licks the window as i ponder the universe
i am so alive