Ive grown older according to the years
My fears remain the same
I walked out one door into another
Wandering further
No time to heal or eat breakfast
I dont know what to call her
this girl im following after

Strong waves crash, deep blue green
One world gone, new shells gleam

Strong winds grasp, at the quiet world around
Pulled up grass, treasure underneath hidden then found

Strong flames consume, red hot fury
blackened trees exist, under the Gods grand jury

Loud waves roar, erode stubborn rock
Our world is at a war, that does not stop

Loud winds moan, tearing through years of things grown
Our world is at war, the cycle vicious and well known

Loud flames howl, lava churns in earth's bowel
Our world is at war, catastrophe on the prowl

Long peace, long awaited
War or Renewal?
The grass grows greener, trees grow taller, She consumes all that is older

good morning me
the cold AC, hot coffee thats sweet
good morning man
who holds me all night, love of my life
good morning cat
kneading and stretching on the fresh blankets
good morning dog
you bark like a rooster saying
Goodmorning

yours and mine
what's mine is mine
heart and mind

not expecting you to take the time
to understand
i don’t want your hand because
i don’t need help or held
touched or felt

understand i stand alone, kindly not cold
mind exploring things unknown, but i know how this goes
the mind doesn't forget, memories mine and i won’t regret something twice
here's why

green hand, so soft
bed of moss, conveniently in the shade of the big pear trees
whispers in the breeze, comfort of safety, closing my eyes for a second safely
drifting and then on for a forever
trusting pumping heart in the green of this meadow
atmosphere flawlessly mellow, sun rays pour gently, copious yellow
Growing, reaching, stems sprouting and tangling, intertwining hands heart mind with moss
Blistering, the experience
Bustling, breaking
the soil, thriving on hope to find another hand
your skin deep underneath
beloved land

and when i decided to look up, maybe you weren’t underneath but above
all there was too see was brown dirt, gray rock
discouraged, continue to search down deeply
hurt, un-admittedly

Realizing now but too far underground to turn back
too far now to close my eyes, blue tear under black sky
Yellow, green good
bye

Blue, hi
cold hand, blue
my hand, bruised
you're not you and i didn’t understand before but now i do
what's mine is mine
what's yours is yours
and we are not each others

I say things even when i'm scared
Tired of living in fear of hearing the exact words i don't wanna hear
my heart has been broken enough and even if a little is gone forever
with time, i get better

even if i don’t want to lose you or what i have with whoever
i know i can’t be love to someone temporarily, forever

I deserve better
and it hurts when i speak up
i know what you’re gonna say is gonna make me
throw it all up

times up, i've always waited too long
to say what i feel like despite if it changes everything
if it all goes wrong

Hopefully, one time
and i probably wouldn't believe
if you agreed
if you wanted what i did

You know I'll always be afraid?
just corrupted that way

You know I’ll always feel rage?
they showed me how when I was under age

You know I cry a lot?
for just one soft spot

You make me sad
Helpless and weak
i wont stand up to you to, even speak
So i write it

You make me mad
make me wanna go back to 5
Scream and kick and yell and cry

Why don’t you listen? I was too weak to speak so i pulled you near, pulled you by your hair down to my level because i needed you to hear me whisper

That i'm so alone
Im so mad
At you

You make me cry, you leave me bruised.
Bruises that don’t go away
I try to wipe them away
I try to write, think, cry, apologize
But they stay

Part of me feels guilty, part of me takes the blame
This is all in my head, i’m playing a game

Part of me is screaming still, from the time i was 5
But not for your attention, not for your care
my nightmares aren’t ones where you aren't there, you only scare me when i’m awake

Im screaming because I have so much to say, and i keep it away because i know if i told you things wouldn’t change.
You’d just play your part, the victim
Behind the scenes, the open door, the sunshine and the galore of “family”
That knife in your voicebox would ****** me
You’d burden me
Convict me, charge me guilty and throw me in jail
Lock me up, push me away, throw peanuts at me
Then you’d say, “Monkey, Monkey in the cage”