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 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
51814
 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
I wasn't going to write about you
but then I thought of your lips and smile
I thought of your infectious laugh
and your scent that I can't get out of my clothes
(I'm glad it won't go)
I thought of the back of your neck and the base of your hairline
and your electric blue eyes-
I wasn't going to write about you
but I tend to write about scary things
wowowowow today was amazing, i hope you like me for a while longer
 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
everyone gets sad
is sad
will be sad
(I wish you never felt sad)
(I wish you could hand me your sadness and I would walk beside you carrying it on my shoulders and all you'd have to do is smile and hold my hand)
 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
trying
 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
I ******* hate it when people say "scars are beautiful"
because what is ******* beautiful about
2am and rummaging through rooms to find something sharp
desperation clawing in the back of your throat
because you can't breathe this time until you bleed again
What the **** is beautiful about the emptiness you feel
when pressing a razor to your skin
(and there is nothing behind your ribs, you stone-cold *****)
What is beautiful about the moment you finally 'wake up'
and realize what you've done and who will have to see this
("No, I'm fine, No, it's not your fault it's not your fault it's not your-")
What is beautiful about the next morning
or the next week
the next month
when the mark is still there
to ******* remind you
(you can't run from the past)
 May 2014 Amanda
fdg
so this is what it feels like to waste an entire day
I have been lost under covers and suffocating under thoughts
and all I can think of is you
there are moths in my mouth and there is waste in my brain
and tomorrow I hope will be better than today
but right now all I can think of is you
you said you'd make my day better (I believe you)
though you never have to (it's not your job)
 May 2014 Amanda
maggie
Vodka
 May 2014 Amanda
maggie
I spent my whole life,
Pushing people like you away,
And I spent my whole life putting pieces of my heart back together.
Stitching up and sealing everything in.

So, I wouldn't feel my insides travel up to my throat,
Creating a lump so big I couldn't breathe.
So, I wouldn't have tears blur my vision before I go to bed,
And so I wouldn't feel the emptiness in my arms,
And the pounding in my head.

But I guess,
I didn't do a very good job,
Because you, and only you,
Happened to find a place,
So deep in my heart,
That I didn't entirely close up.

And now,
You are ***** to me,
And I am drinking in every ounce of you,
And I can't get enough.

And as your eyes,
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Rapidly spread and run throughout my veins,
I feel at bliss,
And I want more.

But I am not ***** to you,
Like you are to me.

My eyes,
My smile,
My laugh,
Don't run throughout your veins,
Like you do mine.

I want to be the cause of,
The blood pusling fast throughout your veins,
And the skipping beats in your heart,
And the hot rush in your cheeks as you get nervous.

I want to be the cause of,
The curves in your smile,
And the tightness in your hugs,
And the glistening in your eyes.

But I am not ***** to you,
I will never be drunk to my last ounce,
I will never swim through your veins.

I will be an unopened bottle,
Resting and waiting in your cabinet,
Until my expiration date slowly nears.
 May 2014 Amanda
Jade Lee
vodka
 May 2014 Amanda
Jade Lee
Apparently ***** isn’t the solution to everything because after the fifth shot, the only word I managed to slur was your name.
(not mine)
 May 2014 Amanda
NV
smoking section.
 May 2014 Amanda
NV
Something poetic about the smoking section of a restaurant.
Just people,
who find pleasure in death sticks, and a 5-star menu.
****.
Now that's how you light up a room.
 May 2014 Amanda
Nik Price
Smoking
 May 2014 Amanda
Nik Price
I know people,
who apparently can judge the entire being of a person
on the fact that they smoke.

Making judgements
by the cigarette
that hangs from their mouth.

The image in their heads
says that this person is bad
but that's just the ignorance talking.

I know people,
who smoke
cigarettes and ****.

These people enjoy the feeling
like the taste
or it's to stop the shakes.

Some of these people
have huge hearts and open minds
greater than all the haters.

I know people,
who drink and party
because they think that's fun.

If that's what you like
then who am I to stop you
but that's not my cup of tea.

I prefer a nice tobacco pipe
and a great book
while I ponder life's questions.  

So ******* and your childish judgements
that cloud your mind
and prohibit you.

Open up and maybe someone
will be willing and able
to care about you again.
 May 2014 Amanda
Sameer Chhetri
a friend of mine asked me if i smoked
a past that i had long forgotten
it reminded me of the hollow friendship
the reasons id find just to burn up
just to forget the bitter reality for a min or five

but the friends were forgotten and so was the habit
yeah it does make me nostalgic
but no i wouldnt go back
it didnt bring me any happieness
nop wont go back
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