youcantandwillnotknow

youcantandwillnotknow Oct 2013

Memory

scrolling through your music, nonchalantly
nah.
nope.
no--
one song makes you freeze.
you haven't listened to it in months
and you did so on purpose.
that thing has so much attached to it.
you stare
and ponder.
maybe it isn't so bad anymore?
you snap out of your thoughts and scoff.
it's just a song.
yet, you sigh.
your thumb hovers over the 'play' button
and hesitantly makes contact with it.
in a split second, you're dazed.
words laced with melodies,
a concoction
poisonous to you and only you.
the music grabs you by the waist
dragging you through the walls you've
built around your memories
until your back slams onto rock bottom
and for a moment, you're stuck in there *again.

youcantandwillnotknow Oct 2013

...or not quite

gems i thought i'd never find, i found in him.
under the soft moonlight, he sang to me, words of
love. such sweet phrases coming out of beautiful
lips. lips i could stare at for ages and ages.
i** love you's and kisses and warm embraces. he could
be the one. the one i'd spend the rest of my
life with. i could be his princess, and we'd live happily
ever after.

youcantandwillnotknow Oct 2013

Distance

i sit in a crowded auditorium, but i'm alone
everyone else has got a world of their own
heads all bowed down, thumbs tapping away
on their overpriced tablets and phablets and phones.

a woman's voice plays loudly from speakers
singing 'jingle bells, jingle bells' but no one really hears her
the spirit of christmas feels awfully dead
with everyone distracted by the voices in their heads

i fidget nervously, as i slouch in my seat
tangling my fingers up and tapping my feet
finally found a girl my age, maybe she'd like to talk?
i try to start a conversation, but she's as numb as a rock.

the room is packed with people, but they seem so far away
so i simply stare at the clock as it tick-tocks away
"can't the show start yet?" i inwardly groan
i sit in this auditorium. **god, why am i alone?

youcantandwillnotknow Oct 2013

Duality

i never find balance,
i'm always on extremes.
i stay too far away,
or get dangerously near.

i like one thing
and i like the complete opposite.
i enjoy being quiet
yet i talk just for the heck of it.

i have two sides debating
both of them just as strong.
one that's fine with ******* stuff up
and the other that never wants to be wrong.

i'm curious, but i'm skeptical.
i'm hopeful, but pessimistic.
i want to love, i want to feel
but feelings make me sick.

youcantandwillnotknow Sep 2013

Indifference (a haiku)

flashing lights at you
hoping you would take notice
*why can't you see me?

youcantandwillnotknow Sep 2013

Sweater Weather

Gloomy weather.
Dark, heavy clouds.
Jumping into puddles.
Sodden sweaters.
Cups of coffee.
Scary movies.
Quiet naps.
Deep conversations.
Cozy nights.
Soft whispers.
Warm hugs
and tender kisses.

Rainy days with you.

youcantandwillnotknow Sep 2013

Run.

a hazy feeling in my head creeps in
and I begin to feel detached from the world.
I feel surreal.
out of nowhere,
a rush of adrenaline shoves
me into a state of alarm.
panic flowing through my veins
like a current.
my vision gets blurry and it's now or never.
I take a deep breath,
and with every stride matching
the frantic beating of my heart,
I run.