Eindeinne Moon

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

YOU

YOU

You DO what you DO best, classic!
Say what you want to say, to me.
I hope you never kiss & tell, oh honey please

You never walk that talk, pretentious actions and crocodile teary-eyed plastic friend

Is there anything else on your mind?
We were never wired to guess it, right?
Please, pray tell, It's making me too impatient now

Pretty little lady, playing safe now are we?
Hold on to your hope, I'll catch you either you're dead or alive

Pretty little lady, won't you come here and save me
Holding on to dear life, I ran away from monsters under my bed
Demons etched ink into my skin, crawling, escaping.

They shout out your name, shadows left unturned
Come with me, they held out my hand Pretty little lady, are you still mad at me?
Letting myself to put the bounty on your head
A killer on the loose, a madman running away chasing someone waiting to ****.

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

Hell is...

Hell is empty, all the demons are here
The other one holds a pen, write one's thought
The other one sleeps, sings, or cooks
While the others, hold microphones
Letting go of empty promises they can't keep when they sit on their throne
Hell is always empty, because my inner demons have been washed by God

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

They call me _____, that's not my name.

They call me __, they call me bobo (dumb), call me tanga (stupid) that's not my name, that's not my name

They call me, lazy, call me kawatan (thief), butbuton (liar), that's not my name

They call me *****, ****, home-wrecker, *****—but that's not my name.

They call me beautiful, they whistle when they call me, hoping I'd turn my head and face them. That's cat-calling.

They call me hers, they call me as if I was their own

Stop it. Stop labelling me, okay?

That is not even my name.

My name is Ayna Denisse, I go by the nickname Neng. My boyfriend calls me Love. I go by my penname yndn, eynden, Eindeinne Moon.

So call me that, because that's my name!

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

Yes

So, questions asked by someone flies through my mind—
                                    Like I am, some kind of menace when I reacted on that.

The question popped was, "Have you already forgiven him?"
                                         Yes, God knows when. Or maybe because I haven't dug deeper and gave so much attention about it.

I have forgiven him—for a fact that I can look at him, straight in the eyes like nothing happened. But I was grateful, I never saw you once again.

                   I gave myself some healing and focused on things I needed. Got rid of things I no longer need.

                                            Declutter your mind a little, don't **** your dreams for something that is unworthy to make me fall down the rabbit hole.

Like Alice did, naive. But I'm not Alice, but I could be mad. Yet, those are unworthy thoughts and feelings that lives rent-free on my mind and nerves.

       I wish I could say the same. Stay the same. It got a nice ring on it, remembering the old me—is quite far from who I am today.

Yeah.

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

waving red flag

Your actions told me to stop, So I did.

It was not about the way you open your mouth and say stuffs you don't mean, but rather it was the opposite.

Your actions told me that you were only there when you miss me, hung up on me when everything gets too tough.

I did my best to communicate with you, told you about my frustrations and experiences,

You saw the scars to my battles—but you ignored it.
You laughed on it and asked me "are you sure about that?"
I saw the crimson red flag waving everytime I think of you.
But neither are you too, a greener grass to begin with.

I gave myself or even you—a benefit of the doubt. Surely, maybe, definitely, he will change.

It gets worse. I opened up my wounds for you to see—I understood the assignment.

The moment you showed me your true intentions, I never thought twice, I looked at you like it was the last time seeing you. No feelings, just rage.

And I chose to walk away. Not because I am coward. But because I am brave enough to say that I learned the lesson, now it is time to put to test about what we truly have.

It is time to test the waters—about how deep it will get me. Will I sink, float or drown? Which is which. Even I, didn't know.

Eindeinne Moon Apr 4

Daily reminder

Stop searching for places where you feel like you need to fit in, especially when you truly don’t belong there.

Stop seeking love from people just to fill the emptiness inside you.

You cannot expect to receive something from others if you are unable to give it yourself.

Simply put, you cannot give what you do not have.

So, learn to appreciate and love yourself first.

Eindeinne Moon Apr 3

my man ❤️

In a world filled with chaos, I found a man that gave me inner peace and lets me sleep without overthinking a lot.