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Yates Nov 2013
Tearing apart the seams of my sewn up heart, because I'm sick of feeling fake fixed.
I'm sick of all the insincere apologies, the half truths told to cover up the lies.
I'm sick of feeling like at any second the seams of my heart could break
open, because of an offhand word you say you didn't mean.

Scratching at the scars on my torn up mind, reminding myself that I made it through,
even when the universe said I couldn't. I'm sick of being doubted.
I'm sick of you saying I can't.

Pulling at the strings of my marionette life,
trying to remember how to work them by myself.
But you're the master puppeteer, controlling my every move.
I'm sick of being controlled. I'm sick of leaving my life in your hands,
only for you to leave it on a dusty shelf in the back of your attic
with all the other hearts you've stolen.

I'm sick of needing you.
Yates Nov 2013
Yesterday was the day I realised that now this has gone too far.
I've been letting you rule my life by making me think I need you for too **** long.

Yesterday was the day I finally listened to my hypochondriac heart
when it told me it was broken.

Yesterday was the day I struck a match and threw it on the memories you left me with.
I turned from the flames and didn't look back.

Today is the day I'm finally getting out of the cage you've been keeping me in.

Today is the day I smash the ruins you left in my heart and walk away smiling.

Today is the day I lock you out of my mind and my heart and throw away the key.

That way, tomorrow will be the day I finally feel okay again.
Yates Nov 2013
There is too much noise
People shouting, car horns blaring, music blasting your ears, like it's the only thing that can save you from yourself.
if it could just get a little louder.
the voices in my head that won't shut up, telling me that I'm not good enough.

It's too loud.

We cling to our smartphones, our ipods and laptops
like they're the only things that can keep us alive,
but we forget the reasons we can live.

We drive past forests, oceans and rivers, never stopping to listen.
we don't know there's anything to listen to.

Waterfalls, wind in the trees whispering like the ghosts of years passed
birds singing, calling out to us to stop and listen,
pay attention to the world around us.

We can't hear the songs the birds are singing , the secrets the trees are whispering and we'll never hear the wolves in the night
It get's drowned out
*There is too much noise
Yates Nov 2013
Do you remember me?
I'm the girl you can't look in the eye,
because you won't be able to live with what you see.
you won't be able to live with the weight of your conscience on your back.

Do you remember me?
I'm the girl you wouldn't be seen without a year ago,
now it seems like it's too much for you to be in the same room as me.
It's a shame how a year can change you.

Do you remember me?
I'm the girl you pushed past the breaking point,
the girl you left with nothing but scars, and memories of a heart before it was broken.
I'm the girl that fell for you faster than you could know what was happening, but you still managed to catch me .

Do you remember me?
I'm the girl you let hit the ground and break,
and you stomped on the pieces.

Do you remember me?
Because I sure as hell don't remember you.
Yates Nov 2013
Right now, someone is standing alone
with nothing but their scars left to remind them that they're alive.
Wondering how life can turn from a dream to a nightmare in the blink of an eye.

Right now, someone is standing on the edge of an abyss,
with nothing left to lose.
Wondering if they can remember what life was like
when they knew what happiness was.

Right now, someone is standing at the grave of their sanity
with nothing to be heard but the voices in their head.
Wondering if the ground really is as comfortable as they say it is.

Right now, someone is standing on the shore of a sea of people
with nothing to be worried about, except for everything.
Wondering what will set them off this time.

Right now, I'm standing here with nothing left to lose except my scars and my sanity
worrying about nothing, except for everything
waiting for something to push me over the edge.
Wondering if this is how it ends.
Yates Nov 2013
This jealousy is killing me.
Eating at my soul until there's nothing left but this burning, consuming jealousy.
Listening to you and knowing that I'll never be as good as you,
I'll never live up to the standards you've set.

This jealousy is ruining me,
Ruling everything I do.
It's taking hold of my brain,
An iron grip I can't break, because I'm not stronger than jealousy.
I'm not stronger than the monster that's been tearing me apart since the day I first saw you.

This jealousy is breaking me.
Beating down the walls I put up to convince myself I can be as good as you,
Tearing down my defenses to tell me just how much better you are,
Just how high the bar is set,
Just how far away from it I'll always be,
Just how fast I'd give everything to have what you have.

This jealousy is killing me.

I don't know how much longer I can last.

— The End —