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Dec 2014 · 563
The Twelfth Floor
yanncheee Dec 2014
The indignity
Of you who gave me life
On a cold, passion-filled, loveless night
Your young skin
On her old bones

You who hid from the cradle
The bat-catcher
The apologetic on the phone
Lying amidst the ruins of
Dreaming of

Scents and spices
Hot flames licking the back of your hand
Pastries dancing
On grilled lamb shanks

Do you often wake in the middle of the night
As I do
And wonder if there was something you could do
but didn't
And then willed yourself into

Nonexistence

The indignity
Of being forgotten by a part of yourself
Of losing your soul to the mistakes of the past
Conceived this in a room filled with cat excrement. At least now we know what inspires me.
Jul 2014 · 782
Honest
yanncheee Jul 2014
And I want to be honest with you
And feel the chill run through my body
My spine, hands, feet
As I pull up the courage
from the depth of my soul

Feel it bubbling in my throat
Dancing on my tongue

And watch it escape
As I enunciate each
(painfully honest)
word

Watch it escape
as a warm puff of air
Jun 2014 · 564
Mercy
yanncheee Jun 2014
A Kingfisher for lunch
Lost in a daze
I'm just a drop in the ocean, you said.

Let's not forget the moment
Let's not forget Foster and mutton curry
Let's not forget that somewhere out there there's me

The sound of their steady voices
Mercy of strangers
You are unhinged and you don't know about it

The yearn for something more than this
Oh, young lady, fool us, please
You laughed and welcomed me to the club

And you know, oh, how you know
That I'm new and stupid
And yet you laughed with me
Apr 2014 · 460
Sleeve
yanncheee Apr 2014
i found a hole in which i could hide, in which my thoughts are safe from you.
i jump to conclusions, and i'm not good with names.
i change too fast, and i hide too well.
try to remember the last time you had taken a good look at me.
you do not remember my face.
but i remember. i remember everything.

if i had a heart i would have worn it on my sleeve.

i found a whirlwind in which i could throw my secrets into,
in which they come out muddled beyond comprehension.
i think too quickly, and i pretend too readily.
try to remember how many times have i said goodbye to you.
you do not know my voice.
but i know. i know nothing.

if i had a soul i would have cried out for you.

i found a pool in which i could fish, in which i use pieces of myself as bait.
i am too many things, for too many people.
i lie too willingly, and i influence too effortlessly.
try to remember the last time you had resisted me.
you do not recognize my touch.
but i recognize. i recognize weakness.

if i had a body i would have yearned for you.


but alas, i have none. you do understand cruelty but you do not understand me.
Jan 2014 · 705
Candy
yanncheee Jan 2014
the pretty words you swirl around with your tongue

like candy
a moment of sweetness
before it disappears down your throat
a mess of colored spit and
broken resolutions
Jan 2014 · 695
Candy
yanncheee Jan 2014
the pretty words you swirl around with your tongue

like candy
a moment of sweetness
before it disappears down your throat
a mess of colored spit and
broken resolutions
Sep 2013 · 490
Red
yanncheee Sep 2013
Red
"The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of." -  Holly Golightly, Breakfast At Tiffany's

i've been having the mean reds lately.

it's a paradox. how you're never the best, but when better ones come along, they pale in contrast to you. somehow i've come to love you in all your averageness, found beauty in your flaws. somehow your insignificance gave me a place to settle upon.

it's comfortable in your arms, and your smell assures me. please never allow me to lose you.
Sep 2013 · 890
Drunk
yanncheee Sep 2013
in your drunken stupor
your fingers drawing stars in the sky
scars in my heart

i watch you stagger
and you know i'd leave you if i ever felt unwanted
you are not the best
but i still want you

maybe we could go back to when we had no reason to love
but did anyway
or we could stay here
and tell ourselves this is love

"And in the end we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
May 2013 · 2.6k
Rant
yanncheee May 2013
some days the inside of your mind is the safest place to be
some days you feel trapped
sometimes you are so tired of wasting more energy on the wrong people
but the right ones are so far away from you
so near yet so far
and you want to reach out but you don't because you're afraid
because rejection are for the undesirable
and you know everything about being undesirable
and you don't like looking like a fool
because life is cruel to fools

you long for the world where everyone around you was smart and witty and fun
but that world spit you out long time ago
now you have to pretend to be entertained by tasteless jokes and mindless comments
from people who think in a different way
and you're so disgusted but all you can do is pretend and pretend and pretend
so the ones with shining eyes don't look your way
you pretend you're all fine and dandy
while you scream silently inside your head
and you're tired, so tired, always tired
May 2013 · 632
More
yanncheee May 2013
the tortoise creeps under broken flower pots
like an ancient dragon guarding its lair
the cat lies on the cold concrete floor
a terrific hunter in its dream

it's always summer in this city

the girl sits under a tree reading
while the sun pours onto her brown locks
framing her face like a honeyed waterfall
anointing her with a golden halo

the boy looked at her
and wonder if he could ever breathe again in her presence
if he could ever be something more in her eyes
May 2013 · 733
Questions
yanncheee May 2013
there were unasked questions hanging in the air
unasked because we don't (want to) know the answers
hanging because the air was so thick so solid
that you could build castles on them if you really want to
but what good would that be
it will only crumble and you know
i crave for security and stability
firm ground for my stumbling feet
and thoughts are too fickle
too easy to burst like bubbles in sunlight
so beautiful yet so fragile
so let me ask you what i did not ask you
is there a certain elegance in the way we fall?
light as a feather but falling like stones
because what logic is there in love
what theories of physics can bind us
when the air is so thick that
questions hang like potted plants
from the ceiling of the castle we have just built
yanncheee May 2013
if you could fall like a raindrop
you don't mind breaking your bones
as long as you don't have to fall alone
a brief life is all you seek
to be gone before the filth sinks in

one by one
all those who were broken for the same cause
fuse together to form a puddle of pure thoughts
to ascend on rays of light
as rainbows are refracted from their hearts of glass

and how beautiful it is
that you bring refreshment to dry lives
and that your life itself signifies an approaching hope
May 2013 · 564
My Garden
yanncheee May 2013
there was a little garden
with a broken wooden ladder
and lots of green plants
and some purple flowers
when it rains
the moss-covered wall turns a darker shade of green
and the cat would sit and watch
while the raindrops perform
a dazzling waltz
that ends with a heartbreaking splatter
May 2013 · 355
time
yanncheee May 2013
to have no sense of time
in a society that is bounded
by minutes hours days
when the ticking of the clock
only adds to their fear
the fear of time running out

and there you are
smelling flowers
kicking stones
and asking, "where's everybody rushing to?"
Apr 2013 · 1.4k
Clumsy
yanncheee Apr 2013
Clumsy fingers
still give off warmth

so if you don't mind
the trembling and
the mild perspiration and
the awkward twitch

hold my hand
all i have is the warmth that comes from my heart
Apr 2013 · 1.5k
Spaceman
yanncheee Apr 2013
I once confessed to my dearest Spaceman, "I'm afraid of being alone."
Because he asked me, why care about what they say? why conform?

Because i'm afraid of being the only one.
Ridiculous, he said.

Oh my dear, beloved Spaceman
The loneliest man in the world
Because you went to space and back again
Because you saw something more
Because no one understands your brilliance

But I am only what I am
and I'm afraid of being the only one
Apr 2013 · 599
15/4/2013
yanncheee Apr 2013
Life is a lot like flying a hot air balloon
Fiery passion brings you high
but knowing when to throw out the sandbag
is probably a skill worth learning on its own.
Apr 2013 · 773
Summertime Sadness
yanncheee Apr 2013
I'm like that favorite bedtime storybook you used to read every night before you sleep,
now i'm sitting at the back of the cupboard,
hoping that one day, out of nostalgia,
you would pick me up again.

you are that dull ache in my heart,
that on certain days when i look into the rain,
and am reminded of how wonderful you were
how wonderful i am
how wonderful we were
Apr 2013 · 464
skin on skin
yanncheee Apr 2013
until your fickle skin
decides it wants my touch
i shall wait with extended fingers

— The End —