I know I love you,  I have to.

I violently pushed my lips to his,
All the while longing for yours.
Everytime I kiss you,
It’s deep, passionate, I get butterflies.
With him,
I was doing it just to please.

I promise my dear,
I’ll never do this to you again.

-YB

The past 2 nights I’ve dreamt of a plane crash… this is a bit scary since I’m flying back home this saturday. I know that dreams are just dreams, problems in our mind to reflect things we’re going through in our lives. So maybe some part of my life is kind of like a plane crash right now but something about this dream tells me that’s not it..

I see people,  all around me fighting for their lives as the plane goes down while I sit calmly in my seat listening to ‘And Counting’ by Lights watching the frantic faces around me.

Everyone is so scared, focused on saving their lives while all I can focus on is how beautiful the afternoon sky looks, how I can see the green grass getting closer and closer.

I think of how in this moment I can fly, I unhook my seat belt and my body involuntarily flys out the side of the plane, I fall for what feels like forever, I feel free, free in flight. My mind drifts into deep thought of all the memories I cherish most, I open my mind only to realize that I’m about to hit the ground, the last memories I get sends tears to my eyes.

And just as I’m about to hit the ground…

I’m awake…

-YB, A Not So Poem about a Dream

If I miss you when I’m awake you have great potential to have my heart.

But if I dream of you, please know that you’ve stolen it. That I’ve already jumped the cliff…

Be ready at the bottom with open arms as I fall.

-YB

12/28/2013, 11:19 pm

Today is “date night” used to be our thing,  it’s turned into their thing. Turned into him and someone else night the moment I changed my life, got a night job, a weekend job, a no time for him job, a maybe next weekend job, and now it’s their thing.. I wanna write about it, exactly how I’m feeling, about how guilty I feel and how painful it is but the way it’s making my heart feel I’m holding back *****..

-YB

"We know what we are,
But know not what we may be."

-William Shakespeare

I knew I’d never have the courage to say it to you.
I knew you never wanted to hear it.
Even though you knew I was dying to let those words slip from my lips.

On cold lonely nights when you had work the next day,
I’d tell you I was at the playground thinking
But the wanderer that lives within me would guide the lover that I am into a dark cave
And there she’d shout; Scream it at the top of my lungs.

I love you.

As I spent hours a day longing to say 3 words to you,
I’d spend those same hours at night listening to the faint voice cure my desperation.

Such satisfaction would help me through the days because at night I knew that the cave would do something you may never..
Say ‘I love you’ back.

I grew an obsession with this echo
And the more I fell in love with you,
the louder the echo loved me too.

-YB

It turns out
We weren’t in love
with each other;
we were in love
with not being alone.

-YZ (rustyvoices)

Of all the last nights, I'm sure last night was my favorite.

I lie in bed and think of the last time our lips touched,
I smile because it was just last night.

The last time your fingers fit between mine perfectly,
The last time the heat of your body, lit fire to my cold one,
The last time I heard your voice,  telling me how sorry you were for hurting me, breaking my heart, for trying to give conditions to my unconditional love.
The last time you put your head on my chest and made me feel as if we were the only troubled souls that exist.
And then I smile,
Because it was just last night.

Just last night you were telling me how much you really like her,  
But how you're sure that it won't last.
How she's perfect for you now,
And with me there was just fear.

I think of the way your voice had a hint of sincerity when you told me
"None of this is your fault"

I smile
because I know that this was just last night.

-YB

I used to love people watching,
We used to I guess.
Finding strangers and making up their stories.
Reading their body language
And every ****** expression to make our conclusions.
We’d laugh at some of the wild things we came up with,
And we’d feel guilty about some of the others,
Wishing that we could help these people.
If we were right about them.

I went to our spot yesterday,
Looked at each person for entirely too long.
Trying to observe,
To find the stories I enjoyed so much.
I guess doing it alone is different,
I guess it’s not the same without you.
I realized then that my own story is missing pieces.
Because every time I tried to read them,
All I could think of was our story.

-YB

Oh but my dear,
I want nothing more than to belong to you.
Make me a space where I fit perfectly in your arms,
A home in your heart.
Lock me away
And call me yours forever more.

-YB

Wherever we go,
it’s home when I’m with you.

And when you leave,
you’ll leave me homeless.

Stuck in the depths of my cold lonely heart.
Searching for security that only exists when you are present.
When I’m with you.
When I am home.

-YB

Please apologize
to my broken heart.

-YB, A Six Word Story