how the **** can i be angry when
you help yourself to what's left
after all love is
always the closest thing
to death

bethlehem is restless
terrorist holograms of mary teary unblessed when
death is living every day of your life forever breathless
breathing is all that is left in your chest when the stress hits
regresses to compressing aggressive obsessiveness
******* in pages to confess unspoken messages
the lightening and quiet screams promise me
they'll light my step through this
green grass in it's morning dress
uncaressed by pestilence
beth/rest
you're possessed by this

and the ghosts flitting between the trees
direct me to the places i must have seen in dreams
before i lost the connection to the earth long since
to the directionlessness of adolescence
every vibration left a crack
enough tremor to slide a pin in
and erzebet would visit my skin every night with rumplestilstkin
and they'd spin another needle through the muscle soft as linen,
they promised it would turn to gold, so long
as i stayed hidden at the loom in this prison

shoulders tightening as they thread it away
i look at the money in my minnie wallet and pray
everything safe always seems to go away in a flash
so perhaps it was just that nothing was ever safe
maybe they will leave if i say that i don't
believe in any of these ******* fairies anymore
but maybe i am older than the world is different
and they were just never fairies at all

it seemed to be such a small small place back then
when you could always cheat at LIFE
and run away and play pretend
in your imagination
didn't have to listen to anyone
now cops and parents hate you
and everyone wants to know
what college you've been in cause
surviving is neither irony nor blessing today
just simple catastrophe and endless dissarray

4 conquest - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/conquest-1/
exactly what it sounds like
slips - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/viscous-ugly-slips/
3 curdle - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/curdle/
the death instinct, i was mostly thinking about the idea that it's said all those who have tried to commit suicide by jumping off the golden gate bridge have confirmed that at the last minute they realized they didn't want to die.
2 branches - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/branches-2/
wanting simple honest relationships
1 beautiful spores - http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beautiful-spores/
what brings a city to life?

1 aspen - slippery ***** youtube
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/aspen/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26JK5qP_rxk

anuljeezshia

this is about finding an awesome person and being afraid you can't be the best version of you for them because you're kind of emotionally blocked off at that moment in time when you met them. i think everyone's been there before.

2 hunter culture - this don't need no ****** music mang - holding the severed self
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/observations-from-a-daughter-on-hunter-culture-final-draft-shorte­ned-to-reasonable-reading-length-lol/

this one is about the way people treat each other in our culture, and the stigma around weakness and ignorance that breeds so much needless hatred. and getting out of the depressing closeminded little town you grew up in and realizing there's more beyond the horizon than this.

3 arrange disarray - without your love
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/arrange-dissaray/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RfBJkckN2I

this one is about feeling caught up in the chaos of modern society and having a lot of discomfort about what you see happening to the natural world.

4 leaving what you know - everyone alive wants answers
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/leaving-what-you-know-final-and-performed-version-of-piece-for-lo­uder-than-a-bomb-mass/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMoX7uL38os

about metamorphosis, growth, fostering positive change. it was sort of a response poem that formed in my head a couple months ago when i was thinking a lot about the saying "every man for themselves", and thinking about how it's not true because the most effective way to preserve yourself is through helping out others, because we all effect each other, and suffering isn't something that comes in one form, everyone has understood it to some degree. it's also about being belligerent about your general moral values, though. and trying to find a higher ground upon which to improve your life, looking for the people and the place where you belong, while feeling kind of lost in the bustle of everyday and the more stereotypical obligations you have like school, money, job, and so on.

so i sit here
with a hole in my foot
with a hole in my head
with a hole in this book
with the hole in her eyes
when she gave me that look
with the hole in my face
when i saw what he took
the hole in my heart
i still don't know the crook
paper is just too easy to tear
and you think i'm easy
when you see i've been shook
i think i need a hook

now there's a hole in my stomach
and it's feeling tight and queezy as she ties
me up in knots of my poor esophagus
her knuckles white from squeezing
i breathing like a snake trying to shed
the desert sun is hot so
please lift this mask up off my head
i try to offer a white flag
but she kills me instead
cause she doesn't like the things
that she can't understand

and so she holds her fists like
they have holes in them
holds me like there are holes in me
cavities of ample opportunity
for punishment and further tearing, no tears,
none of this teething willful jeer
i'll split and rewire, i don't need old fears

i am only tired at best
the pieces did not defy gravity
they fell right out of my ****** chest
but landing is a skill you see
tear me apart for free and be my guest
ripping down the wallpaper
wrestling with the messes of stresses
no one will unremember
looking for the emotions
you desperately want to render
but while i'm still soft
i'm no longer tender
so remember when you enter that
no matter what the temper of the sender
or persuasion of the vendor
i will not surrender
to all these social mind benders

there is a hole in my flag
my blood is an involuntary badge
no more flags, white stains
too easily

1.
he left me by cemetery road
with no money and no place to go
because he had to go back home

you've never really felt bitterness until
someone you've done everything for
walks away from you across an empty parking lot
in a town you do not know
and doesn't look back

2.
next, in an empty elevator
and he went for a drive
because some people just can't stand
blood that's not their own

it's fine
i'll fix it myself
it's fine
i clean up nice
it's fine
i understand

3.
he never had any guarantees
mostly i'm sorry's which
might as well be free
the way we shell them out
mornings at his house
are no less lonely than mine

but lonely is not a problem anymore
lonely is just normal
lonely shows up most often
with a crowd of friends
or with a boy who says
he thinks you're fascinating
than it does in your own
asphyxiated skin

you tried to shed it like a snake
but the delicately fake chords
of romantic language
are wrapped around your neck

4.
maybe you will understand
i'm not interested in infatuation
because it wanes faster than the moon
and burns itself into your DNA like the sun
breaks your nerves like twigs
and sprinkles your scalp with ash

until everything good you've ever had
feels like
a sin

but i don't
think
you do understand

5.
he swept me out the front door
disappeared with his cell phone for twenty minutes
to brag to his famous friends
and came back to hand me a couple bucks
as the bus pulled up

at the time i didn't quite know
why i felt so sick to my stomach
so i said it was the beer
and then i said it was the money

but now i know it was
the significance
of how much our encounter
was quantitatively worth
in his eyes

6.
to him i am not me
my interests are "cute"
i tried right? i'm just too much of a female
to ever understand you
and yet that's all you allow me to be
because denial is so much easier
than seeing other humans
for the first time

7.
i am commodity
i am a nice figure
i am innocent eyes
i am a checklist of angles
and sweet little gestures
and the same words
the same words
the same words
the same words
the same ******* words

i am simple, right?
and sweet, correct?
and so charming
and ****.
Girl

8.
last time i checked
i was a person
not a categorized priority
that didn't quite make
the top five list

and you wonder why i get angry
about not having a voice
about being talked to like a child
when you can send me off to take care of myself
but you cannot respect me as a self sufficient being

when you can dump me in a cab like your ***** laundry
that you're just taking care of before work
and yet you are afraid of my blood
disgusted by your own ******* stains

9.
i think you treat me just about as much Woman
as you feel Man
i am not a rib
to be shucked away
from your heart
i am not a snake in your garden
i am not a scab waiting to be ripped off
i am not a breast, or ****, or thigh
because i am not ******* poultry
i am not made for consumption

and i have to tell you
Girl is not here.
and Woman bleeds red
and so do you.

the words never seem to touch the tone
i am meaning to say i want to
weigh them with my tongue like pebbles
clattering under my teeth
i was never as lonely as when
i couldn’t speak
you must have felt that loneliness
you couldn’t swallow
we all have days when we get in our car
and think about what we could really do
if we wanted to
drive to the store or off a cliff
you choose the first
never let your brain teach your hands
to slip around the other one
possibilities are dangerous
when there are so many ways
to play in traffic
let me count the limbs
in this car wreck
let us count the ways
we have all been wrecked
by a promise or a minute
with a weapon in your hands
that you never thought about
until you were going to fast you wanted
to stop

A - A7 - E7 - Cmaj7
Am - A - C - G

G - Cmaj7 - G - cmaj7
G - Cmaj7 - G - strum

A - Am - C - Am
A - Am - C - strum individually 1st fret, 5th - 3rd - 2nd chord

i’m just tryin to get by
some days i’m just tryin to get high
this society taught me not to cry
so this society can deal with my
battered ego tonight

cause i’m just trying to understand
i’m just getting a better grasp on this hand
but no one can play cards
and no one can make art
without thinkin ‘bout the hands
those around them have landed
our world is not simple
everyone's been branded
and everyone stuffs a few cards up their sleeves
and everyone leaves a trail of unused aces
when they leave

br) because you’re not the only one
who wants to run away to nepal
and you’re not the only one
who sees this nation is a maze
made of, shifting walls
and you’re not the only one
who’s afraid to take out a loan
and you’re not the only one
who feels uncomfortable alone with police
and in, shopping malls

i’m just tryin to get by
some days i’m just tryin to get high
it was this society that taught me not to cry
so this society can deal with
my battered ego tonight

this place hurts us all
and i wonder why we stay here
and fall for all the pretty ways to stall
away the mindless days
high heels and guns can intimidate
but not mediate, a fall

1.
the way she shivers and sways is similar to the garden snake's slither
i didn't mind it around my neck
and tried to forgive her
before she injected me with
the venom within her

2.
now she runs through my veins
the way water runs the sounds of the day through a sieve
everything is dimmed by the bubbling rush
cuz you see, it's this hedonistic spree she lives
this sinful lifetime she's leading
is enough to send any adam straight out of eden,
believe me, you don't wanna see this,
and i don't want you to see me cry

3.
so leave the dusty clothes on the dolls in all their places
she will flinch inside of me
if you wipe the tears from the cracked plaster faces
they were meant to stay here
i understand she's trying to save me
by keeping them hidden in the shower
distracting them with tea
but she's enslaved me to so many prerequisites
perfectly strapped together plastic
that never breathes
this stigma never leaves
it's like it breeds inside my body as i sleep
sometimes i don't know how much i feel that is truly me
is inside the being i'm taken to be

4.
it's not easy being human by far
but it's even harder to not be
when you know you are