When i was eight my dad would bring me to a movie store, i was always curious about that back door, i didn’t know it was where they stored the ****, girls plastered on their backs and worn by men like casual dress their mouths all open in silent ****** and yet bets are they’ve never gotten that far and tonight i wonder where these screaming lick lipping girls are because I’ve never had one in me. And i think maybe most girls don’t because only men know that back door, that back entrance, where all the women love them on command, and real girls exist only as a figment of their imagination. When women’s pleasure is locked discreetly away you have to wonder whether men will ever taste chapped lips, touch fleshy hips, and love the bliss of a body on a body not a lifeless video hobby.

I am underwater
the bottom of a pond
I am not drowning
I am limitless
deep under my own skin
no longer shallow
like puddles and schoolgirls
dancing with deities
I am happy to be here
I am a child
And now I am

“momma bought us a pie”
my head is a nest of baby bluebirds
the supermarket is too clean
for the **** that you put in your mouth

run run red fire truck
mom is out of ***
dad is out of luck
he was taking a lighter
to the candles about the Christmas party
mommy dropped a cup of Bacardi
she screamed when it shattered
and daddy dropped his flame
ever since that day
we haven’t said her name
she cracked like burning honey
when she lit up like
the Christmas tree
it’s so easy to become
Nothing

Excuse me I just get so unruly when
The temptress strikes
and the tempest struggles
to please his restless wife
ease the heaving spikes of her waves
rolling out of her mouth
onto his chest
all the compressed cities
she confessed to distressing abreast
her fury when he loved her gently
and then crept out when she slept
A fly on her dresser he dressed and left her
and lying alone in bed she never felt more like a conquest
she was never quite the perfect thing
he imagined her to be
I confess she was never quite a thing
but right now I don't think she'd agree
the day I dug my first dog a grave
I could say with complete certainty
this is all the love I have to give before I die
even if it's not enough for you
It's enough for me

I wanted to see him taken
in loving arms
told it was forgiven

I wanted to kiss him
along the neck and jaw
promise him that God made us
in his image, and he is selfish

but somewhere in his inscrutiable heartbeat
the hunger can wither
like bluebells plucked from winter’s soil

I wanted to promise
we are penitent
and it counts for something
and yet the ache lingers

are your teardrops as wet
as I imagined they’d be?
and yet oh how water expires

Kids with guns
playing hostage outside
my kitchen window
trapping their sister in the chicken coop
behind the tenement house

Kids with funds
riding scholarships to Harvard
saying someday I’ll be the one
who pushes that little red button

Kids with needles
saying at the end of all this
I will wine and dine the devil
to persist my own mess
they go off so silently

we all turn to memory
and fade to the black flickering
insides of eyelids and run out film reels
the bottom of oceans and the bedrock of glaciers
the whole earth will hum for half a second
before the next bang hits