summer has me missing winter
winter has me wondering where I went wrong
i'm a little too ashamed of the way I feel
and a little too comfortable with always feeling sick
plan ahead for disappointment, because nothing ever goes as planned

I mistook sleep for death more than once today but as I welcomed whatever darkness I was sinking into it chased me away. I wouldn't call consciousness a war but there's a lack of color and a loss of interest for keeping appearances up when my head is so heavy. 2 hours nothing's changed. 4 hours nothing's changed. After that I lost track of time and only saw endless coils slithering over themselves. I can't say I miss you, you don't quite fit with the pattern anymore.

im too alive to play dead
running around without a head
they applaud me for my feats of perseverance

i have no tongue to choke on
and so much blood to spill

I've been stuck at 13 for 6 separate lives
No matter how many floors I've died on its always to the same tune
Angry red lines
Hidden from angry red faces
A pile of bones that were never matched to a identity
a heap of broken crosses no one bothered praying to
Nothing changes
what's dead can't grow