In silver box that’s lined with broken gold
these papers tell of old forgotten nights;
of cooler air than this that filled my chest
surrounding my whole being with such care
One story here was written under stars,
with hints of sentiment engraved so deep

When lovers break the bonds that dig so deep,
their hearts both crumble into darkened gold
A duo surely crafted by the stars
Eternal fate that dies within a night
I’d like to tell this story with great care
to stop this tight sensation in my chest

She held a special place within my chest
her love was bitter black and buried deep
I’d like to think, perhaps, she maybe cared
enough to give me years of solid gold
She gave me lovely dreams most every night
of places even higher than the stars

But now I only look up to the stars
and feel that awful feeling in my chest
What waste to give my hours all those nights
to mellow waves of sadness moving deep
Of all the colors flowing, none are gold
And nowadays I doubt she even cared

I followed the illusion that she cared
and ended up so lost below the stars
The heart she gave was made of phony gold
it sat and festered deep inside my chest
A shallow love that struck within so deep,
and now I only wish that it was night

Perhaps if I could spend just one more night
with someone else who gave such love and care
I’d feel the warm sensation fill me deep,
the charity and kindness of the stars
Another head to lie upon my chest,
a faithful love of real authentic gold

Another night goes by under the stars,
and all the care dies slowly in my chest
so deep within a prison made of gold

The world’s light shines, shine as it will,
The world will love its darkness still.
I doubt though when the world’s in hell,
It will not love its darkness half so well.

One's and Three's

Grammatically obscene
To be one and to be three
To be it and to be them
A me and a we

A lonely *******
Natures experiments gone wrong
The beast dances with man
And the man cries in awe

But the man shows the soul
And the soul feels it all
But cannot take it in
It’s conscious wails within

The beast thinks he wins
But without purpose is he
To the soul he will reach
But with the hopeless he sleeps

So the animal is free
The man lets us see
And the soul makes us wonder
But all three suffer

For each others role we fiend
In silence i scream
So jealous are we

Your eyes, they watch me, following every wrong move I so naively make.  
Tempting,
p u l l i n g,
prodding,
phasing me; blinding and obscuring my, at one point, 20/20 vision.  
You have kicked me while I am down.  
How could I have been so stupid?  
"You want me.  We both know it," you whisper into my untrained ears, unsure brain and straight into my wayfaring heart.  
You invite me closer
and
no matter how much I despise myself for it, I am continually choosing you over the One I really and truly desire.  
Why do I do that?

We look better now
now that the night is draped and prepared around our shoulders
like a tight night arm
that only lets you go
when you want it to

and eats your bones with content heat
when it wont
a strange asking
scent
leans in on you

leading you
like a pulse inside a dream
open
in a corner
asking for speech
and silence
mirrored in the same pulse
pushing your soul through the wall
and back to the street

easing you up in the morning
and letting your dreams grin
and the day begin
i’ll never stop watching the morning dress
because it dresses like you

i love the concrete/and what the city makes us
to let anything but what we wish devour us is a crime

and the city forgets how to lay still
so it walks around on all fours
around any part we need
if we have the stamina to enjoy it
with every exchange
with every close
and opening
of sweat and work and pace
as playful as old fights
crawling up the city
like sounds
from low insect hums
this wheel moves so **** slow
we’d pay for a ticket
if our silence wasn’t so much better

i take a day to think about all this
and finally come here
and put it all down
let it fly
stop imagining more
because all we have
is all here
as wide awake as a luminous sign
down one of the alleys
we can always walk
at anytime
of day
or night.

I take it all into account
The love, the pain, their lack of count.

I list the trees, the sea,
The dirt, the ***,
The He, the She,
Our ability to see...

I add, subtract and multiply
And also add the fear to die
And our tendency to cry...
The food, the bed,
The relief of paying off a debt,
The smell of books,
The first-line hooks,
The hate, the disappointment
And the joy to find an ointment...

I cry, I laugh, but mostly think
And finally dip the goblet and start to drink,
As I know that soon my mind would find another truth
And I might lose my grip and step away from
The fountain of youth.

I know I've been there,
I've given into death and altered the fabric of reality
Every day we waste away transfixed by flattened images
Of the limitlessness of death
Coupled with elusive, Luciferian harm which will befall us all
Who subsist on the manipulated reality of the hyperspace information field
But one day, enlivened by the festivities of Shakori Hills
And the fungal spirits who awoke beside us
I walked the irreversible pathway through oblivion
Facing cruel destruction and terror
For a horrifying passage across Styx into eternity
And emerged within a crowd of mollusks dancing to the waves of a musical sea
All time suspended in the impossibly drawn-out ****** of the
Archetypal wizardry of rhythm,
The swirling clumps of faces in
Unshakable ecstasy
And seemingly responding to the wild currents of my conscious thought;
A longing for human touch drew the others closer and closer around me
Till they began brushing against me
Bumping into me,
The flow of the crowd saw its axis at my psychic emanation
As once more the last song of all time began with thunderous energy and applause.

I escaped the arresting confines of the crowd
By willing them aside, wearing, as I suddenly became aware, the shoes of Moses
And seeing my muddy feet upon the sands of Egypt
But I yet had no understanding
Of the nature of the garden of earthly delights
Into which I had fallen,
And fear began to envelop me,
Producing law enforcement officials hawklike swooping in to limit my power.
I had but to let go of my acceptance of their power over me to transcend them
But fear tethered me to reality,
Even as I saw about me a Dharmic mandala
Of my past present and future,
Generating inexplicable archetypes around me in a manner profoundly defiant
Of rational logic.

Synchronicity compounded upon me
As the Christos within me
Brought rain down upon us
Forcing us together and leaving me in dumbfounded reverie
Of all that had transpired to bring this moment forth

What had seemed to be the end of history was in fact
The awakening of a new rebirth
The first moment of coming to be
The union of past, present and future
As the reassuring smiles of my trustworthy disciples gently allowed me passage back into a rational existence
I beamed in utter gratitude for the eternal life which Christ afforded us.
Chaos had subsided back into normalcy
But still winked at me
In telepathic coincidence.

My soul has begun to realize that it resides in all things
Soon they are to be reintegrated

I'm no shaman. I'd follow a plastic flashlight from the astral plane
Time moves fast
And the animal spirits can hear it
Lumbering by, tumbling down from the
Cliff as if it fly,
Destroying the world in its path like a bug in its eye
And I'm part of this Time
Sit on my *** and wait for the visions to come
Letting it pass when I'm wired up to
Vices so quick and so simple to fulfill
Time's faster and stronger than will
I matter no longer, it feels, but still
The shaman life's here in my bones
It's common to all those who know
Perhaps I'm not ready, too green in the head
Or unwilling to part with the trough where I'm led
Or the mechanical fingers from which I am fed
But no, I can see that life surely isn't for me
Though weeks may have passed since I last climbed a tree,
That is ME.
In the cold I don't need artificial heat
I'm strategically weak so I can't beat the system
But listen, the behemoth is plummeting now
It'll drown from its mass, but we shall not go down
For we'll swim with our heads above water,
Summoning fish to swim with us others
These spirits who're tuned in to God's point of view
We can trust them, they love us, they want us to continue
But learn not to follow
The horror and hollow persistence
Of linear progress, in Congress with Satan
That aspect of knowledge which makes evil possible
Sublime in its authority and strength
Designed to be defeated from beneath.