i want to scream at you
tell you everything you've been doing wrong for the past 17 years
you're an awkward age in an awkward place but it's all your fault
get the **** up, get the **** up
do something


















but it's really hard to break a habit
without breaking the mirror

i'm not trying to achieve enlightenment i just want to know why it hurts so bad when i make eye contact with you
it doesn't hurt
it winds my stomach up like a yo-yo
and drops it to the ground without thinking twice
the way you blink makes me hurt
hurt
hur
t
this isn't fair it's not fair i have goals and you don't
i'm not skipping classes anymore i'm not
skipping

lines
anymore
i can't i can't
it isn't fair
i can't

Probably dumb, pondering
I'm so sorry that I rush when I hear the starting gun, I just couldn't let her get first place
Leave you behind in the dust
Because my feet are too heavy to not leave footprints

i apologized
with old pencils i found in the bottom of my bookbag
with the erasers missing
so i couldn't take it back

Moths that look like little girls hair bows,
I squashed you underneath that binder I used in high school band class.
It was you or me.

i have found my words again
31 miles from you, half asleep
drunk words of encouragement - you are everything between stuck zippers and pulled hair

you said i was your sunshine
so why do you no longer smile?
it feels like these scrawny arms don't get to hold you anymore