chels

chels May 2013

i promise
that i can be a really good friend
instead of someone you just text when you're ******

i promise
that i can rub your back
until and after you fall asleep
i won't leave
i promise

i promise
that i can make you hot tea
that you won't burn your tongue on

i promise
that i can do all these things
i promise

chels May 2013

growing up

i guess i got mad
when i looked at all the kids around me
and the huge learning gap
you were either ghetto or International Baccalaureate or somewhere in between
and being in the middle kind of ******

watching sketchy drug deals in thin hallways with white brick walls
and watching kids who have parents who buy them 2012 cars
and pay for their gas swerve around in the parking lot
kind of ******

i can't complain
because i didn't grow up in the streets
i grew up in a ranch house
in a neighborhood full of old white people
i can't complain
because i'm entering the 'real world' faster by having to buy my own car
and pay my way through college
and buy an apartment
but
it kind of *****

chels May 2013

hear

i think that
a long time ago
you told me that you thought i was cute

but that was only after i said it first

maybe i looked too far into it
maybe i thought
oh
maybe he wants to date
maybe he wants to kiss me
or hold my hand
or make mix tapes

but i think i was just looking
too far into things
but maybe that's what we're supposed to do

my english teacher
made us read
their eyes were watching god
and she said that jody
wanted to be high above everyone else
and that's why he stood up on the box
when he lit the streetlight
that he had bought
maybe he wanted to be above everybody else
but maybe that was because
he'd always been below someone
ya know?

chels May 2013

but

i am high
i do not really care
what color the sky is

i just want to know
why you don't like me

chels May 2013

guilty

I'm beginning to think I have a problem.
An obsession.

You see, I've fallen in love with an item,
an object.

I'm in love with
glow in the dark
plastic
stars.

You see,
I have bunkbeds
So I put them on the bottom of the top bunk
and I put them on the ceiling,
so that I always have something to look up to.

While I'm at it, I should probably tie a string to a stick
and hang it in front of me;
tie a star to the end of the string
so that I always have something to look forward to.

chels May 2013

Heartstring.

You pull on my heartstrings
faster
than little kids
pull on fraying string

chels May 2013

Twenty.

Wait! Stop!
Don't let it slip from your fingers
because you have it,

you really do.

Close your eyes and don't forget,
let the memories wash over you like a hot shower;
feel clean.
Feel beautiful,
because that's what you are.

That's what we all are.

Never forget that you have ten fingers,
and ten toes,
and no one can take that away from you.

Stop being afraid of who is behind you,
because in front of you - there are birds.
There are layers,
and tree branches, begging to be climbed.
Don't stress out when your tea gets cold because you can always make more.

I'm allergic to cats but that won't stop me from touching noses with kittens,
I'm afraid of my past but that isn't going to hold me back anymore.