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chels May 2013
Sail out to sea
with the late night yawns
that cause your mouth to water

You speak to me
more than a divorce on Valentine’s Day
or a suicide on Thanksgiving

Sincerely,
chels May 2013
I had beautiful words, once.
But,
I used them and used them
and they started to bump into eachother
and get rough
around the edges.
My words began to fray
and when they started to disappear,
so did you.

You were beautiful, once.
I don't know if you are anymore,
but our last moments are old,
and I've replayed them in my mind
over and over
and they're starting to get rough
around the edges.

I'm second guessing everything so that it doesn't hurt as much.
I didn't like it when you traced my collarbones with your lips,
I didn't like it when you pressed your palms against the inside of my thighs
and wrapped your fingers around my skin
and leaned in to kiss me
as delicately and passionately as you could.
I hated it.


Your mouth always tasted like chewing tobacco.
chels May 2013
You said that we’re just all pre-popped bubbles holding galaxies inside of us, and I shook my fist at you and said
"How is that possible? Because there’s no way that stars could live in something so broken."

I’m wondering if it’s possible to overdose on stress and raw lips because I know I would achieve death in an instant if it were.

If we’re not supposed to **** ourselves,
then tell me
why we make pills taste like candy
and why we try so hard to communicate every single feeling
yet avoid talking at the same time.

If we’re not supposed to die,
then tell me
why the only thing in this galaxy inside of me is a
black hole
vibrating a B flat
fifty two octaves too low for you to hear it.
chels May 2013
I’m afraid to touch things because of the stale smoke I will leave.
I want to warn people, and say don’t touch me, because I will stick to you like melting candy.
I feel the sadness saturating my bones like a steak sauce,
and the droplets of water I collect on my fingertips are all I have left.

You’ve been forgotten more times than a dusty old library book and I can tell you’re getting sick of it.
You said that we should just calm down but I’ve already counted to ten as many times as I could.
Clean sheets can’t help us forget the past anymore,
and we’re all shoveling the dirt away as fast as we can to see what problems we’ve buried.
We’re all ripping the bricks away as fast we can to see what walls we’ve built.

I’ve been drinking distilled water for months now and I still feel waves crashing against the inside of my body.
The inside of my mind looks like what you’d find underneath a turtle shell.

I don’t care what god put you here because you have every right to follow the trails of any dream you’ve ever had.

I don’t care what god put you here because you’re going to find someone who has lips that fit your’s like a puzzle piece.

And I don’t care what god put you here because the butterflies in your stomach can speak any and every language that has ever been exchanged by words, touch, or eye contact.
chels May 2013
Your number has finally vanished from my recently contacted list.
I don’t know whether to be proud or disappointed beyond belief.
chels May 2013
I couldn't help but let my mind wander,
And amongst the tall trees and broken shade,
My bare feet stumbled upon the place
Where you decided to grit your teeth and become something else,
Someone else.
I wish I could have been there when your skin thickened and your tongue bled.

I wish I could have been there when you learned a new language
And decided to only speak in tongues that even you couldn't understand.
I couldn't tell you things anymore;
I couldn't tell you about rich people who spend their money to help the poor,
And I couldn't tell you that sometimes,
Your parents fight in front of you and you think that its all your fault but its not, and you're okay.
You're okay.
I could only tell you that your fingers felt like needles against my skin,
And that it hurt when your pressed your lips against the tiny tears on my shoulders
And down my back.

I think you got angry,
When my eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand.
You were frustrated because I couldn't roll my tongue or my 'r's.
You were mad,
Because our eyes were different shapes and my top lip was paler than my bottom.
Maybe my nose was too crooked, maybe the lines in the face made me look tired.

You broke me into a hundred pieces,
Because with every ******,
You claimed you were my savior.
chels May 2013
Oh
Maybe if I repeat the same words
Over and over again
I won’t be so afraid to stick my feet over the side of my bed

I don’t know how else to beg you to leave my mind as quickly as you came back to it
So I figure you’re just supposed to stay there

I can't help but fall in love
With the certainty in your hands
I can feel you in my veins
and
I just want to know if we’re losing hope again or if we’re just hoping that we are

— The End —