The thought of waking up one morning last August
And you were no longer waiting for me outside my door
But, I'm coming back to you
How wonderful, how sweet.

The thought of staying up late at night
And going to visit you after a cup of coffee with Mike
Waving and saying hello,
And you always waved back.

The thought of a late night romance
And you being a pervert and watching
But that's alright, I forgive you
We all get a little curious sometimes.

The thought of me missing you
Wondering if you have been missing me.
I know you can forget people so easily,
But I'll stop by and visit when I get back home.

I'm starting to pack everything.
I'm giving up.
I'm giving in.
And you were right when you said I'd go in and out alone.

When you find the time to call,
Make it short,
Make it sweet,
Because I won't be back come fall.

Came to this place with a lot of promises.
Left a job.
Left a few friends.
And I'm coming back with a broken heart and soul.

You know that I hate to cut you short and I hate that I have to go
Don't forget that I still love your roar on an autumn Saturday afternoon
And don't forget that I still love the people you have shown me
But darling, don't you see? I'm just trying to find my way back home.

The day the dead rose and walked the streets,
We fell in like.
We took to the beach and sat under the sky.
And we pretended to be astrologists.
And we pretended to be in love.
Just for that one night.
We missed the concert.
And now we pretend to miss each other.

You moved back from Vegas
Moved out there with your love
But four years was too much
You told me to come over and comfort you
And I did
One thing led to another
And a heart ended up breaking
We still talk from time to time

I use to be funny to you,
I remember.
But these days I'm not fooling anyone.
You use to tell me, "I love you"
But now you don't because you think I may "take it the wrong way"
That's fine.
We can still make plans to get out of this place if you want
And we can talk whenever
And I'll lie and say no feelings are left
And that I'm alright.

I didn't tell you about him.
In fact only a few knew.
We were pretty close throughout our school years.
A guy we all loved.
I remember driving through Turbeville when I got the call about him.

You see there's this kid.
He took a shotgun and he killed himself.
Couldn't take life they said.
But life couldn't take him.
I remember hearing about it on an August beach night.

And we had plans to see each other that summer.
****, we were in class a couple weeks earlier.
I sat behind you and we'd share stories with the group about girls, partying, and our friends
I remember hearing about it at my job
I got yelled at by my boss that night for being slow
Whenever I'm home I visit the place you left us all,
I drive by slowly with my windows down thinking of your last moments,
Looking for the flowers we planted, but the seasons have taken them.

I'm awake.
But the world is asleep.
4 am.
Mixed emotions.
Loneliness.
So many people in every direction at all times.
But I'm disconnected.
I thought I loved it, but I hated it.
3 weeks.

No one will read these words and I’m content with that. If some of my friends perhaps reads these then they may think some of these words are about them. By all means I hope they think so and I hope they ask me. If I’m feeling brave enough, I’ll tell you, if not I’ll just lie and say “No, it’s about someone else.” So how will you know if I’m lying or not? That’s for you to figure out. Writing is best interpreted by the reader.