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Rangzona Jun 2012
Rain drips from my hands 
Mixed with blood
The endless flood will hinder my plot
But still I smile 
I know I'm doing wrong
As I step over the first body of the night
And I can't help my self from asking the obvious 
"am I going to hell? Do I deserve nouthing else?"

It's to late though it has started 
I raised my gun 
And fire into a guy 
No idea who he was
No mater
He was in the wroung place at the wroung dam time 
His family will morn 
But **** happens 
If theirs a god he will repay the goon
And I shail be punished 

So no point in stoping to wonder
As I'm opened fired on 
I laughed a grenade be hind their cover 
With the explosion all sound stopped 
Besides the screams that shall haunt me to the grave
 As I entered the last room my target looked at me 
A kid of 10
Not much older than mine 
I raised my gun and fired 
Sealing both of our lives
One to hell
And one to heaven
Rangzona Aug 2014
Constent sound
That's all I hear bickering
They say it's not there
That I'm a white boy ther be nouthing wroung with me
They say all I seek Is atenten
That can't be it since I suffer in silence, cry alone, and to finely stifle the noise, I Speek allowed to them so at less one voice would exit the 9th layer of hell I call my mand
They will never see and I will never Speeking of the voices which drive my imaginations into contplations of zombie ends and thretical debates,  that will shake your minds, hell it cripples mine, the constant debates of there's ******* my mind,  so all I can do is stifle those two words that would not make a lick of a difference, for if I let them slip people will just look at me, and think I'm rebelling "o he's a white boy, he must think our talking is beneath him, he will never know true pain like us minorities"
Ye,ah That's me the majority seeking ******* of minority, causing hell since I never experience it. I am nouthing but an anarkish heaven that sees nouthing but the color of ****, a complete pestmistick
They don't under stand; hell I don't understand my mind ether but to say I'm the majority, is dead wroung, what makes them minority, collor, religion, these I been taught means nouthing and nouthing they are Becuse there thoughts, their harts binds them to all races, not one thought or filling is independent to there race, these groing minority have sunken to the idea that they be the minority but no that is me, the one who can't sit in silence, with out rocking with pain, the words "shut up" forever on my lips dripping with mumbles of zombies and flames as high as buildings with me on top of the talist yelling I'm not insain I'm not insain I'm not insain Until finally I'm lost inside the flames.
And if they knew what hell was in my mind that would be worse, they will try to find the problem with scans and question. Did your dadie **** you? Is your brain ****** up? Why don't you just stop this shirade?  
And when thier questions just lead me screem more at them than at my own head they try to fix me for now I'm a danger so they imprison me for something they coused.
So they put me on psycotic medison , and the voices they continue but easer to with stand. But I'm not me any more I'm different I loss so much but can't grasp what it is. They say I'm a success, and I agree because I want to leave. I don't tell them I still hear voices becuse I don't want them to sedate me agin. I don't tell them I've lost the intelligent young man I was or the insitefull guy that could help people with problems that he him self never had but they would not cair all they want is me to be like them because that all they wish to see.
As soon I'm out of the jail I ditch the mids and I return to my insainity. O how the voices seem to be louder as if they was ****** I locked them up..... But I'm me agin or am I them I just might be them but is that a problem i lie to my famly "yea I'm fine," " yea I took them last night," "I'm happy". They believe me not becuse they do but becuse they want to. They never saw a problem befor yea I was strange but functional but as soon as soon they heard I had a problem they jump on it for it means thay have not failed.
But they have not failed the doctors did they saw a man with a problem that need to be cured when there was only a man who had a problem that he needed to live with a problem that made him better and strange a problem that made him different.
With my problem out in the open I become better at hiding my pain until I get back to my to my apartment where I scream, cry and argue but never in that order. Nabbers never new I was different for I sound proof this place.
And that's how I lived, paying for pills I never used, never confinding in anyone for I feared of going back to jail, and I just knew if I ever got back on thouse meds that that when I get off the voices will drown me and I would not make it a night befor I just decided to end my abnormal life
michael mcAdam Jun 2014
i would rather eat nails then be apart
swallowing the pain of sorrow
each nail is a sin i have
every wroung i have done
and ever tear i have caused
thats why i have a mouth full of nails

— The End —