And this is desperation
it is muttering to a windowshade and dreaming
     "always" "always" always
it is looking without seeing
     when every side street and roadside looks like
          the devil's territory
it is what you sound like when you speak
     all your sentences backwards
it is listening to sad songs on airplanes
     and pretending like nothing has ever changed before
it is staring at varicose veins
     like vandals
          underwater
it is building shelves for every little thing
     so every bigger thing goes not astray
it is becoming a martyr
     for the morningdew chills
it is watching as skyscrapers blur