I
Disaster
Your breath broken
What else could I do
This barrier came from no where
and with gentle trembling hands
I pounded at it
Fully aware and totally uncertain
My hand on your knee
It felt nice
the first touch
II
A secret
More like an idea
not even a possibility
personal, never hinted at
you were never supposed to know
but we always knew
and wanted to let it out
festering inside me
though I hushed it
I wanted to know your secrets
and the grown-up drinks drew the courage out of me
instantly
light poured onto everything
I could hear you smile
I froze
"When we talk on the phone sometimes I--"
III
"People who have people
are the worst kinds of people"
I said it, and I meant it and you hated it
I just didn't understand.
I hope you can forgive me.
I had never known that love
until you sought another
How fickle I am
Oh but the terrible sweetness
of your fingertips on my waist
to move me out of the way
to see her
IV
Entangled in your wild youth
spiraling downward
I watched you slip
and wepted for you, my friend.
enveloped in fear
You left
I waited
and you won
an embrace
a kiss
Your fingers tracing shapes on my thighs
until you touch me.
V**
We're the worst kind of people.
