"unwhole" poems
Build me a slow boat to Timbuktu via China
Heave down a fleecy cloud and let me float to Nirvana
Hunt me a unicorn and let me ride to the Enchanted Forest
Find me a giant eagle and let it lift me to Outer Mongolia East
'please don't leave me here amongst demons with human faces'
Show me a Church and I'll show you a hall full of Sinners
Point out a wife and I'll reveal a liar and a fake and none dimer
Call a Doctor and its a Monster who betrayed the Hippocratics
That Government Boss is a cruel heinous snake without ethics
'please don't leave me here amongst demons with human faces'
See that Preacher and see a spineless hypocrite back-stabber
That lover was nothing but a sick deranged false **** twister
My dear acquaintance a heartless corrupted shyster unhinged
A Newsagent full of pitiless, gloomy, vile, psychotic joy-suckers
'please don't leave me here amongst demons with human faces'
That friend of years a bloodsucking Judas who betrayed and stole
Uncles who rained terror with sadistic pleasures in parts unwhole
Show me nieces and find two-faced ******* with poisons in veins
Neighborhoods full of silent killers and Rapists of truthful genes
'please don't me leave here amongst demons with human faces'
A vicars' daughter wielding angst axes better than a viking
The pathetic Moors zombies tearing flesh on masters beholding
The dead-eyed Arabs salivating madly or at daggers drawn
Contemptible Men-kids with pin ****** used as King's pawns
'please don't leave me here amongst demons with human faces'
Build me a cottage in rolling green fields with blue skies
Find me a fair maiden with a true heart and warming smiles
Show me a place that holds fairness and justice real and dear
A world with humanity we're all sisters and brothers for care
'please don't leave me here amongst demons with human faces'
[email protected] August2018
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 11:44 PM UTC
I am afraid.
Afraid that I will lose you
To the merciless entropy of the Universe,
Or to the inexorable mystery of God’s plan,
Call it whatever you want, but whatever it is
I am afraid that it will take you from me at any moment,
And that I will be alone again.
I am afraid.
Afraid that every moment with you will be the last,
And our last shared experience will be an insignificant goodbye,
And that will be the last memory I have of you.
That is why I insist on physical contact, because
It reassures me that you’re real and
I am afraid that if I don’t constantly remind myself
I will forget what you felt like,
And then I will forget what we felt like.
I am afraid.
Afraid that I will lose you and not remember you,
That I will feel an unbearable and aching emptiness
And not know why.
I am afraid of fading memories,
As they suggest an essential futility in the beautiful endeavor
That was us.
They suggest that we is incapable of being constant,
That we is merely a rotation of the stone
As it continues its mossless journey to the sea.
I am afraid.
Afraid that in losing we I will lose a part of myself
And remain forever broken and immutably unwhole,
Unable to put myself back together because
My pieces are missing.
I am afraid that we is an essential part of me,
And that I will never recover from the loss.
I am afraid of losing you and afraid of losing me.
I am afraid of being alone and afraid of being broken.
I am afraid that we will lose we and
Then nothing will ever be okay again.
I am afraid.
I am afraid.
I am afraid.
Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012 at 4:50 PM UTC
You're looking old, my friend,
and if I may say, a little sad.
Such is the nature of the honesty
our chats have always had.
And now your looking tired too,
worn down, defeated.
Where once I saw an extrovert,
I now see a man retreated.
The boy you used to be is gone,
never to come back.
The fresh faced look of yesterday,
hides 'neath stubble, grey and black.
The wrinkles now say character,
where their absence once said youth,
and eyes that once said innocence,
now show experience and truth.
That's not all, there's something else,
as if a sadness shrouds your soul.
hiding scars you cannot heal
whilst two halves remain unwhole.
But you know my friend, its up to you
and the chances that you take,
for our path is one we draw ourselves
by the decisions that we make.
Jan 14, 2012
Jan 14, 2012 at 12:02 AM UTC
My body's not whole
My body has 2 holes
2 whole more holes
than any whole body should
My holes are holes
with them, I'm no less whole
but the whole idea of these holes
that leaves a hole in my whole
Holier than swiss
a whole lot of holes
2 ear holes
a whole nose
with 2 holes
A hole for my mouth
a hole for my ****
and another 2 holes
for my unwhole gut
What's the whole point?
Of the whole hole poem?
Well the whole point of the hole
is to make the hole whole
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 2:26 AM UTC
Love is a thief.
I never asked for my
focus to be stolen.
You never meant to
take it from me, I'm sure,
but its gone now.
I've always said love should be a synergy of
two whole people. Despite this claim, I find myself
newly unwhole. I lust for wholeness.
You cliched me.
Love is a humaniser.
All my life I've been
an alien, grey specimen
trapped and bound in pale white skin.
I've never felt comfortable in this form.
I want to be light, energy, flowing out of here
and through the world
and the stars and all.
Only, you
make me now feel human.
Breath comes easy.
I still yearn for outer space,
but maybe we could go together.
If you wanted.
Love is a would-be assassinator.
It possesses your mind and your fists,
a dark green spirit. It targets wandering
eyes, and it loathes
replacers.
Love is a fear of inevitable "see you later"s.
Love is an all-conquering now.
The past is dead and
the future isn't real
but we believe in those illusions
until we come together.
Love is half-burnt coffee on a dark November morning, as mist haunts the air outside of the old kitchen we inhabit.
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 3:34 PM UTC
Yet by nights celestial light
when stars arrest in lovers heart,
and lungs made lead afear to breathe
and souls unwhole are torn apart.
The waters edge tinged by tears
salt upon salt a plaintiff squall,
as buzzards circle mocking me
as or' our lives shadows fall.
Whilst given time alone to think
my ev'ry thought returns to you,
and moments spent in shaded glen
doing the things lovers do.
So hear my pain and heal my heart
just promise my dark won't our souls part.
Mar 3, 2012
Mar 3, 2012 at 6:39 PM UTC
**when you are gone,
i take long naps to pass the time and dream of your return,
smoke aimlessly until i time travel, feel this unwhole feeling, that i want to forget and try hopelessly to fill when you aint here, the struggle becomes real, a cruel, cruel world in which i struggle to fit in, a burden that arises again and again.. making my own decisions without your consent...
i often find myself into some ****
*** reality always finds its way in, just like a creeping shadow
... when you are gone
i learn of hypocracy, i know scrupulosity
intrusive thoughts are always blinding, a confusion that is binding.
sometimes i cant tell the good from the bad so thats when i sit alone and
get high, get ******
yes pride keeps this inside but in my mind im never too proud to beg you "come back home to me babe, come home."
come home! come homeeee :(**
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 12:19 AM UTC
1098
Of the Heart that goes in, and closes the Door
Shall the Playfellow Heart complain
Though the Ring is unwhole, and the Company broke
Can never be fitted again?
948
I wander aimlessly through this world without you
As I have countless times before
Ever feeling unwhole
Once we happened upon each other
Completion
Bound by distance
What was once empty
Is now a void able to be filled
Only by you
I am able to be loved by you alone
Loving what has always been mine
Still, forced to wander aimlessly through this world without you
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 5:42 PM UTC
Let us meet in a wonderful world of colors
Together in this crime we go
Enjoy every pair of lips coated red
Petrified! We'll end up ******
Enjoy the toxic fumes of love!
Crawling tonight to taste the kiss of stone
Go full throttle to the latex-covered fun
Go full throttle and kiss your ending sun!
Let us meet in a world of colors
Lets walk until the dark devour our orientation
That these temporary wounds will heal and dry
Pity this make believe generation!
All the colors I have for you will fade
leaving us the darkest shade of gray
Love the taste of smell of red
Love yourself unwhole and frayed.
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
You give parts of your heart
Leaving only a dark hole
You give parts of your heart
Leaving you unwhole
Why do they take so much?
But you know
They take so much
Because you have so much to give
Your heart may be a wasteland
It is because it has been reaped
And seeds are already at hand
The sower has just leaped
For his job is done
He sits waiting for the rain
Apr 15, 2016
Apr 15, 2016 at 1:26 PM UTC
I am imperfect.
I am unwhole.
I have been beaten and battered,
left without a soul.
As hard as I try,
I fall to my knees.
Begging for someone to comfort me.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 3:56 PM UTC
I never thought I'd be
Unstable
I never thought
I'd want to die
I never thought
The thought of cutting myself
Would be so appealing
How am I so
unstable?
I take all of these
pills
Just like I'm told
I talk to a counselor
But I still feel unwhole
It seems as if no matter what I do
I'm still unstable
My mind is in constant
panic
Thousands and thousands
Of whispers
Rush through my head
Everything up there
Has been painted black
So now I can't see
I can't hear
I can't do anything
Because I'm so
Unstable
My body moves
My body breaths
My heart pumps
My skin bleeds
But I'm....
I'm gone.....
I've disappeared
Never to be seen again
Because my mind...
Is UNSTABLE
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 8:25 AM UTC
Not reality
A passing thought
Fancied notion
Me,
Melancholy muse
I'll sing for you
Dance for you
Play my strings for you
But you can never know me,
I am courtesan of the night
Lady of secrets
My soul is but a piece less than yours
Unwhole,
Ebony,
With scarlet bleeding through its cracks
You may touch my skin
Kiss my liquored lips
Unbind my hair,
But you will Never KNOW me
I exist only in the reflection of a tear drop
Soon to evaporate
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 8:06 PM UTC
How broken I feel today
tears in my eyes yet
trying my utmost to look okay
I literally break into pieces
when they try to take you away
for you are a part of me
and you too have parts of me
you’re engraved in my soul
why am I feeling this way
like they’re making me unwhole
i wish they knew
what it means to us
i wish they knew
that our life will egress
i wish they knew
to not even try
for life is void
if we aren’t conjoined
this moment is passing
and with clock ticking
I feel a torment i’ve never experienced
with every second I break into pieces
making it harder to breathe and see
it’s hard on you i know this too
my love I wish for us to forever never
experience the likes of this pain ever
never have I ever felt
this helplessness and futility
I want to do allott
but it’s too precious to risk
I wish trial passes and never repeats
for never has my heart ever endured
on this much strength for its beats
my Fatima Gul it’s you and always you
I won’t ever be if I don’t have you
November 1st, 2021
~ me
Jul 26, 2022
Jul 26, 2022 at 1:47 PM UTC
Inside a haunted room,
A violin is being played.
But for whom?
A stranded soul,
With an unknown path,
It is in pieces, it is unwhole
A requiem is being held,
In its honor,
For such pain, it had withheld.
The room is brimmed,
With an audience of one,
And its pain is at last, being trimmed.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC
The words I leave unsaid
Throb like police lights
across my mind reminding me of
those that escaped to early
That hit their target
With weak strength, gently shot down
Several other's words of similar nature
Left upon thine deaf ears of mine
Who's focus remained on one alone
And yet these words of mine
hold fast to thee, adamantly
A phrase once said, yet unwhole
With maybe and much thought
The gaps left room for acceptance
"I think I might be in love with you"
Those words best left unsaid
For now
Jan 27, 2010
Jan 27, 2010 at 1:13 PM UTC
To tell any story of you I should begin with stone –
Marbles, granites, slates – in slabs and blocks so large
They surrounded the family plant like cold-faced
Soldiers, armed not to keep out, but to keep safe
The secret knowledge: how to turn function to art,
How to harvest beauty from earth’s dark home.
We could count on you to be part of our home.
After school days and weekends of shaping stone
You appeared at our table, wearing your appetite large
And wooing my sister until our brother’s blank face
(Your best friend’s cold face) blinked there was no safe
Way to have them both. Somehow, for you, the art
Was in the trying. At work, you created a new art
Cutting and carving miniature relief scenes – of home
And history and Greek goddesses in soft marble stone
Streaked pink and black – with callused hands larger
Than the finished pieces. My sister lowered her face
In refusal of that first gift. Believing you were too safe,
She married someone else. You married, to be safe,
Someone who didn’t care to understand the delicate art
Of your labor. Soon, some chasm reached your home,
Splitting you in silence until you no longer were stone
But shards and pieces scattered at the bottom of a large
Abyss, unwhole. Your grief too hard for you to face,
You led your wife along a trail up to a rocky west face
Above a summer pool. Here, you thought, you were safe
To perfect an absolute stillness between you, a terrible art,
And somehow avenge the jagged cleavage in your home.
You struggled (the papers would later report) until stones
Slipped, hands unclasped, the space between grew large.
Like a pebble thrown, your wife’s body created no large
Ripples until shallow breath returned and she surfaced
Flailing, waving one unbroken arm to show she was safe.
But it was too late for you, whose new attempts at art
Had once again failed, and so you turned to go home
To become immovable, unreachable, a dumb stone.
At home, you recorded failures and defeats you faced
In large hurried script, writing to set forever in stone
One final success: a safe shot to the head, your newest art.
Aug 18, 2010
Aug 18, 2010 at 3:59 PM UTC
i sit here and i wonder what it is about you that draws me in
the world looks at you as a failure
one who couldnt survive against the odds
but the only answer i have been able to come up with for the burning passion i have for you is that its simply an obsession
a dark obsession that i cant seem to let go of but yet is hard for me to completely hold on to
I try my best to let go of you and let you live life how you choose
but the thought of living life more like existing without you is a nightmare
One i choose not to meet for as long as i can fight it
But soon time will be no longer present
And i will have to say goodbye
The last goodbye
the one i fear the most
I have always hoped this day would never come
But i know that it surely will
And as you will go on living not a tear to shed
I will be left broken and unwhole drowning in my tears and running from my fears
But the difference now will be that i will no longer have you to run to for comfort and some peace of mind
Just existing living off of instinct and hoping tomorrow will never come
May 20, 2010
May 20, 2010 at 11:21 AM UTC
Boys and girls of every creed,
Wouldn't you rather fight than believe?
Take our hands and refuse to die,
Come with us to The Outside.
This is The Outside.
It's our world, and everybody bleeds,
It's the place where we can be free.
I am the one with the ice cold glare,
A blink of my eyes can freeze the air.
I am the one with the demon soul,
My heart torn by choice and my spirit unwhole.
The Outside is where we call home,
Once you know, you can never go.
I am the one with the needle in my skin,
Lethal injection brings the feeling within.
I am the one with the opened up arms,
Hope and discretion disguised by the scars.
It's our world, and nobody understands,
But that's okay, we just do what we can.
I am the one with the sightless eyes,
Can't see through my enemy's lies.
I am the one with the cut-out tongue,
Words trying to escape are trapped in my lungs.
The Outside is where we call home,
Once you know, you can never go.
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
I woke up all alone
My throat so dry
My eyes like weighted stone
Heart so empty, I wanted to cry.
Where were you?
I needed a hand to hold
Arms for comfort
Anything to keep back that aching cold
But I received nothing of the sort.
Where were you?
In that instant I saw to my final day
Cold, barren landscape empty and unwhole
So when I disappear and fade away
It'll be your turn to ask when hollow in the soul:
Where were you?
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 11:00 AM UTC
Once upon a time long ago, there was a hopeful child,
Due to wrong life choices, she grew up too fast and wild,
Once this little girl had promising dreams,
As she grew old, she realized nothing is as it seems,
Youthful fantasies of a loving and heroic White Knight,
All disappeared, overwhelmed by the agonies of the fight,
Always alone in her battles with life,
Never afraid to confront and conquer the strife,
Now many battles later, as the scars can tell,
Each one with it’s own story of pure hell,
Some of the battles were lost, and some were won,
But now she sits alone, empty, and done,
Tales of love that had fallen apart,
Searching, but never finding lost pieces of a broken heart,
Loved ones who never made it through,
Unacceptable losses ‘cause there was nothing I could do,
Every day to wake up seems like a punishment,
Forced to continue this existence is pure torment,
How much pain will I be made to endure?
If I embrace it, will it cleanse and make me pure?
A loneliness so deep and empty it echoes in my soul,
Experiments have failed, changes have passed and I’m still unwhole,
Those innocent dreams and fantasies lie crushed and anhilated,
All hope and innocence has completely dissipated,
Trudging through my daily routine,
So many sins, I’ll never be clean,
I want so badly to cry and feel that release,
But these ghosts that haunt won’t give me any peace,
I’ve tried everything to make them go away,
Pills, ***** whatever; But they continue to make me pay,
They have even followed me into sobriety,
Refusing to let go they will never set me free,
There are no more idealistic visions,
I’m being made to suffer for poor life decisions,
There is no serenity waiting,
It is only the agony I am sating,
Praying for an end to this life’s insufferable lesson,
No hope for the future, no forgiveness for my pasts’ transgression,
Acceptance of this destiny of mine,
Pain will be my power throughout all time.
Apr 17, 2010
Apr 17, 2010 at 6:38 AM UTC
when you are gone,
i take long naps to pass the time and dream of your return,
smoke aimlessly until i time travel, feel this unwhole feeling, that i want to forget and try hopelessly to fill when you aint here, the struggle becomes real, a cruel, cruel world in which i struggle to fit in, a burden that arises again and again.. making my own decisions without your consent...
i often find myself into some ****
*** reality always finds its way in, just like a creeping shadow
when you are gone
i learn of hypocracy, i know scrupulosity
intrusive thoughts are always blinding, a confusion that is binding.
sometimes i cant tell the good from the bad so thats when i sit alone and
get high, get ******
yes pride keeps this inside but in my mind im never too proud to beg you "come back home to me babe, come home."
come home! come homeeee :(
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 12:18 AM UTC