I am creativity,
Wanting to create something beautiful
But without inspiration
I am nothing but
A spotless piece of paper.

A dull mind kills me,
Inch by inch it erases
Every source of creation
Stored in my memory.

It shuts every bright emotion
That I keep in my frail heart,
And replaces it with a boring void,
Filled with nothing but
Suffocating air of blank.

It's all gone out of me, the hammer falls and I'm not ready to answer
Trembling, weakness supporting a tub of jelly
The pollen-filled air flies past like the
Pelicans at the edge of the harbor
Taking us gliding for an unpleasant ride
Down the corridors of plastic colors
Through the one word answers that bubble forth from
10,000 years away in hyperspace
Where the mechanisms of language become so convoluted
That they disappear completely out at the vanishing point
Coming up behind you again to drag you into that smoky allure
You remember hating and pinching your nose from
And hiding in the car, but the new fear is of becoming addicted to it
Just like your addiction to ego games and
Intellect, just like your addiction to pleasure and constant validation

The validation's there in the eternal self, they say
But I'm an intellectual
Too impatient for meditation
And lost along the way to enlightenment
That I truly want,
But then I'll never have it if I continue to live this way

It's wilderness calling from a tame fool
Sticking up for you the overgrown horoscope signifies
The shapes of skydives,
He comes in and out of our dull lives
And there's an electric current that solidifies between
Him, Us, and his music
Iron rods jutting up from scorched earth
A broken paradise
Crumbling in a whisky tumbler
Blackened by fiber filters, creations
Unlocked by flowing ontological
Caricatures, open wounds gnashing
At attention-seeking osteopaths
Fortune seekers clamber down
Soccer field bleachers,
Somebody lost his sneakers in the woods
Once there was a set of barbells along the trail
We fell in line and started
Counting each other
One by one it seemed like the green apples would never fall
It was up to us to wait for the shower
It would feed our kin
We'd begin to rise up together
But it could never keep up with our pen
We wanted the ghosts to follow us and overtake our mortal foes
But we couldn't command the armies of the dead
We derive all our pleasures from films and campfire stories
We contrive our adventures but we wait for them to happen to us
We take a passive role in finding love
And it blinks lights at us across suburban streets through windows in the dark
The mind begins to writhe with new memories it composed of old
An idealized time of a child with the perverse mind
Of a hogtied adolescent
Guessing that the course of existence
Isn't determined by the speed of your calculations
Testing the warm water on a naked toe
We could dive in and forget to breathe
And the water could carry us forever
Alleviating gravity
All the obstacles we perceived in past lives
Remain with us like
Chimney swifts on the bottomless April days of a
Klu Klux **** telephone operator
Who believed in the spirit and the holy ghost
And burned a quiet altar to Satan's minions every Sunday night
Drinking nail polish and
Obscure references to the films of the
Ancient Greek philosophers, who
Saw the medium as a means to a message
And patronized the elitest filmmakers to study the ancient Runes
And reveal their findings to a power-hungry public
That would not outright reject it
But that would have to follow it down the rabbit hole
Through the wide mouth of the trumpet around brass fixtures
And into the tight hot moist mouth of the trumpeter
And the elemental warriors would strike oil beneath the whole affair
Ending the time we spent hoping for any entertainment to create itself before our barren psyches
Busying ourselves with incomprehensible tasks and letting our indolence take the reins until we found our heads again out there amid the vapors of
New car chem trails and old railroad bunkers where spruce and cedar grow through cement earth, they force apart the ground with just their roots

We weren't ready to keep watch the following weekend but we
Had no choice when the government bond expired
And we had only technological solutions left to hope for
And wrongly we abandoned our research posts to fight the enemies
With giant weapons and uncreative slogans
Our drummers played so fast we marched along and killed all that remained in record doubletime
Rendering the events of that victorious day immortal in the ingenious accounts of
Philosopher/poet/historian Michael Jackson
Who gave one final performance
To save himself from what must not be

The time it'll take you to realize I'm gone is enough time for me to run away, slowly taking myself apart, like a jigsaw puzzle. I'll be in a hundred pieces and before you can even find all of them I will have already been gone. Disappeared into the wind, like leaves falling in Maine autumn.
   I hope you cry the hardest you ever did, and realize that it wasn't myself in the end who killed me. It was you. You talking behind my back, you making me feel so incompetent, you thinking I wanted it to be about myself.
   I hope you realize that I cared more about you and the other than myself or getting better. I relapsed again and again cause I was dealing with your problems, I never said not to talk to me. I let you in, and in the end I just got hurt.
   I'm sorry about your mom. I'm sorry that I'm not the best son. I'm sorry that I'm never good enough. I'm sorry when this finally ends.

Chapter 1

Looking down at this bar with its variously brown stained boards beneath its
glossy finish reminds me of a surfboard I wish I could just get up on and ride a
wave out of this place.This place full of people with their devil horned hand
gestures and uneducated mouths uttering ridiculous thoughts to me.constantly
coming after me with their thoughts about rock & roll,heaven,hell,love and
deception.The real deception is that there's life in this bar where I find
myself time and time again.There might as well be bars instead of walls,we are
all jailing ourselves I think as I take a big sip of draft beer to momentarily
ease the brain.but just as soon as I replace the glass to the coaster paying
careful attention to return it to the wet circle mark where it had rested before
the thoughts start again about the crowd I am not only surrounded by but am
among one of the abused and scared running away from the truths we have
desperately locked away in places as obvious as the lyrics of our songs,cowards
confronting no one,nothing except beer drenched microphones and crowds just as
loathsome to stand there and watch us and are repetitive garbage we
unidentifiably call art.                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                          Theodor­e why are you sitting here I think to myself as I
light a cigarette and take and take a deep drag,a drag that seems to relieve me
for a brief second from the anger and desperation.Theodore Francis Boone why am
I called this,what  could my parents have possibly been thinking,were their
intentions to high,could they have been thinking I may be a discoverer,hold a
seat in the senate,fast talking lawyer with a phone full of numbers of people
that want to be around me,well Theodore you are none of things tonight here atop
your ripped fake leather barstool here tonight.I clicked the bar three times
with my lighter took a drag and as I did I felt a tap on my shoulder Reluctantly
I looked over at an oddly attractive girl standing there with a sort of perky
stature and my fears were loose as I anticipated what she could possibly
want.                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                        She mumbled words that at the very least I could care less about especially
with them being drowned out by the music being played at decibels better suited
for an outdoor venue.Great show she said my name Tabby can I by you a
drink.Tabby I thought for a second looked at my beer clicked it twice with my
fingernail took the last **** on it and then gave her a quick look and said
thanks and then returned my eyes to my empty glass.I turned my head back around
to her and said I'll have a draft,just a draft she replied? absolutely I said
just a draft.With guitar distortion consuming the smoke riddled air like a buzz
saw I felt her tap me on the right shoulder just as my draft arrived on fresh
coaster and she proceeded to ask do you guys play here often?I don't know I
added as she relentlessly continued with the questions.I one worded my way
through them until finally she let up for a few minuets and I returned to the
draft she had bought me.As I took a sip I thought maybe she was getting the
picture that I didn't need a Tabby or anyone else for that matter in my life who
felt like talking about the band or how often we played here in this prison.                                                          ­                                                              
  ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                               But just then,just as I thought it maybe over I felt another tap on my shoulder and
as I turned she handed me a torn in half bar napkin with her phone number on
it.As I folded it she laid the other torn half in front of me and asked if I
could give her my number and I wrote it down thinking to myself why would she
want to talk to me again ,I had been pretty lousy company.She the torn paper
with my number and placed it in her purse.I took the last pull on my beer paying
close attention to finish every drop then stood up tapped Tabby on the shoulder
and made my way out of there.                                                           ­                                                                 ­                             As the door closed and I was now on the outside the
ringing in my ears became apparent while  making my way down the street in an
almost silent peace.This was always my favorite part of any day the quiet of the
night walking with little distraction.The city seemed so much more beautiful
when it wasn't full of people aimlessly wandering around it.Sure there was the
occasional drunk or druggie but they didn't bother me and I didn't bother them
most of the time ,it was sort of a mutual respect at this hour of
night.Generally it was the blaze of the daytime when the distasteful wanderers
where most displeasing.The boss's the politicians all those daytime degenerates
those are the ones to worry about,the bankers and the such.Those that think they
got it that think they are ahead of the game and got it beat,they always seem
way to persistent on getting me involved uncreative tasks,No none of them where
out here tonight to bother me and I could enjoy my walk home.

tonight she’s clipping her obstinate fingernails
healthy, hard and alone on her atoll of sofa
surrounded by a stony sea

automatically I look down; my deficient talons
at a loss and uncreative; thumbing the possibility
of courageously communicating with her complexity

******* the idea of getting close to her
beyond my standard compulsion to
use flattery, force a smile or be mutually inauthentic

leafing through the elementary school years
that predeceased her current level of intelligence
grappling with my empty handedness, and
finally locking us in on the folded faith of hopeful futures

Sara Fielder © Apr 2017

Looking down at this bar with its variously brown stained boards beneath its
glossy finish reminds me of a surfboard I wish I could just get up on and ride a
wave out of this place.This place full of people with their devil horned hand
gestures and uneducated mouths uttering ridiculous thoughts to me.constantly
coming after me with their thoughts about rock & roll,heaven,hell,love and
deception.The real deception is that there's life in this bar where I find
myself time and time again.There might as well be bars instead of walls,we are
all jailing ourselves I think as I take a big sip of draft beer to momentarily
ease the brain.but just as soon as I replace the glass to the coaster paying
careful attention to return it to the wet circle mark where it had rested before
the thoughts start again about the crowd I am not only surrounded by but am
among one of the abused and scared running away from the truths we have
desperately locked away in places as obvious as the lyrics of our songs,cowards
confronting no one,nothing except beer drenched microphones and crowds just as
loathsome to stand there and watch us and are repetitive garbage we
unidentifiably call art.Theodore why are you sitting here I think to myself as I
light a cigarette and take and take a deep drag,a drag that seems to relieve me
for a brief second from the anger and desperation.Theodore Francis Boone why am
I called this,what  could my parents have possibly been thinking,were their
intentions to high,could they have been thinking I may be a discoverer,hold a
seat in the senate,fast talking lawyer with a phone full of numbers of people
that want to be around me,well Theodore you are none of things tonight here atop
your ripped fake leather barstool.I clicked the bar three times
with my lighter took a drag and as I did I felt a tap on my shoulder Reluctantly
I looked over at an oddly attractive girl standing there with a sort of perky
stature and my fears were loose as I anticipated what she could possibly
want.She mumbled words that at the very least I could care less about especially
with them being drowned out by the music being played at decibels better suited
for an outdoor venue.Great show she said my name Tabby can I by you a
drink.Tabby I thought for a second looked at my beer clicked it twice with my
fingernail took the last **** on it and then gave her a quick look and said
thanks and then returned my eyes to my empty glass.I turned my head back around
to her and said I'll have a draft,just a draft she replied? absolutely I said
just a draft.With guitar distortion consuming the smoke riddled air like a buzz
saw I felt her tap me on the right shoulder just as my draft arrived on fresh
coaster and she proceeded to ask do you guys play here often?I don't know I
added as she relentlessly continued with the questions.I one worded my way
through them until finally she let up for a few minuets and I returned to the
draft she had bought me.As I took a sip I thought maybe she was getting the
picture that I didn't need a Tabby or anyone else for that matter in my life who
felt like talking about the band or how often we played here in this prison.But
just then,just as I thought it maybe over I felt another tap on my shoulder and
as I turned she handed me a torn in half bar napkin with her phone number on
it.As I folded it she laid the other torn half in front of me and asked if I
could give her my number and I wrote it down thinking to myself why would she
want to talk to me again ,I had been pretty lousy company.She the torn paper
with my number and placed it in her purse.I took the last pull on my beer paying
close attention to finish every drop then stood up tapped Tabby on the shoulder
and made my way out of there.As the door closed and I was now on the outside the
ringing in my ears became apparent while  making my way down the street in an
almost silent peace.This was always my favorite part of any day the quiet of the
night walking with little distraction.The city seemed so much more beautiful
when it wasn't full of people aimlessly wandering around it.Sure there was the
occasional drunk or druggie but they didn't bother me and I didn't bother them
most of the time ,it was sort of a mutual respect at this hour of
night.Generally it was the blaze of the daytime when the distasteful wanderers
where most displeasing.The boss's the politicians all those daytime degenerates
those are the ones to worry about,the bankers and the such.Those that think they
got it that think they are ahead of the game and got it beat,they always seem
way to persistent on getting me involved uncreative tasks,No none of them where
out here tonight to bother me and I could enjoy my walk home.

Writer’s block does not exist,
there’s only uncreative writers,
and those who don’t care enough
to care so much.
As the former,
I will write this in my quietest voice:
I am okay,
I am okay,
I am okay.
Few would care to know,
fewer would care if they knew.
But it is the truth,
and I am in no business
of making truths I cannot keep.
I no longer write with tired eyes.
I no longer think with shaking hands.
I am no longer transparent,
or translucent,
or opaque.
I am okay.
I know this because I woke up today.
Simply that.
I woke up today,
and I am not empty.

The Gothic Poet
Chapter 1

Looking down at this bar with its variously brown stained boards beneath its
glossy finish reminds me of a surfboard I wish I could just get up on and ride a
wave out of this place.This place full of people with their devil horned hand
gestures and uneducated mouths uttering ridiculous thoughts to me.constantly
coming after me with their thoughts about rock & roll,heaven,hell,love and
deception.The real deception is that there's life in this bar where I find
myself time and time again.There might as well be bars instead of walls,we are
all jailing ourselves I think as I take a big sip of draft beer to momentarily
ease the brain.but just as soon as I replace the glass to the coaster paying
careful attention to return it to the wet circle mark where it had rested before
the thoughts start again about the crowd I am not only surrounded by but am
among one of the abused and scared running away from the truths we have
desperately locked away in places as obvious as the lyrics of our songs,cowards
confronting no one,nothing except beer drenched microphones and crowds just as
loathsome to stand there and watch us and are repetitive garbage we
unidentifiably call art.                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                          Theodor­e why are you sitting here I think to myself as I
light a cigarette and take and take a deep drag,a drag that seems to relieve me
for a brief second from the anger and desperation.Theodore Francis Boone why am
I called this,what  could my parents have possibly been thinking,were their
intentions to high,could they have been thinking I may be a discoverer,hold a
seat in the senate,fast talking lawyer with a phone full of numbers of people
that want to be around me,well Theodore you are none of things tonight here atop
your ripped fake leather barstool here tonight.I clicked the bar three times
with my lighter took a drag and as I did I felt a tap on my shoulder Reluctantly
I looked over at an oddly attractive girl standing there with a sort of perky
stature and my fears were loose as I anticipated what she could possibly
want.                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                                           She mumbled words that at the very least I could care less about especially
with them being drowned out by the music being played at decibels better suited
for an outdoor venue.Great show she said my name Tabby can I by you a
drink.Tabby I thought for a second looked at my beer clicked it twice with my
fingernail took the last **** on it and then gave her a quick look and said
thanks and then returned my eyes to my empty glass.I turned my head back around
to her and said I'll have a draft,just a draft she replied? absolutely I said
just a draft.With guitar distortion consuming the smoke riddled air like a buzz
saw I felt her tap me on the right shoulder just as my draft arrived on fresh
coaster and she proceeded to ask do you guys play here often?I don't know I
added as she relentlessly continued with the questions.I one worded my way
through them until finally she let up for a few minuets and I returned to the
draft she had bought me.As I took a sip I thought maybe she was getting the
picture that I didn't need a Tabby or anyone else for that matter in my life who
felt like talking about the band or how often we played here in this prison.                                                          ­                                                              
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                     But just then,just as I thought it maybe over I felt another tap on my shoulder and
as I turned she handed me a torn in half bar napkin with her phone number on
it.As I folded it she laid the other torn half in front of me and asked if I
could give her my number and I wrote it down thinking to myself why would she
want to talk to me again ,I had been pretty lousy company.She the torn paper
with my number and placed it in her purse.I took the last pull on my beer paying
close attention to finish every drop then stood up tapped Tabby on the shoulder
and made my way out of there.                                                           ­                                                                 ­                             As the door closed and I was now on the outside the
ringing in my ears became apparent while  making my way down the street in an
almost silent peace.This was always my favorite part of any day the quiet of the
night walking with little distraction.The city seemed so much more beautiful
when it wasn't full of people aimlessly wandering around it.Sure there was the
occasional drunk or druggie but they didn't bother me and I didn't bother them
most of the time ,it was sort of a mutual respect at this hour of
night.Generally it was the blaze of the daytime when the distasteful wanderers
where most displeasing.The boss's the politicians all those daytime degenerates
those are the ones to worry about,the bankers and the such.Those that think they
got it that think they are ahead of the game and got it beat,they always seem
way to persistent on getting me involved uncreative tasks,No none of them where
out here tonight to bother me and I could enjoy my walk home.

I am from soap bars unnoticed in supermarket aisles, from Lux and artificial jasmine fragrances.

I am from ****** motels, suspicion strong in the air; far from the warmth of toasty family cottages.

I am from the bouquet of extravagant roses, the dead white one within the reds.

I am from the cholesterol-inducing pizza nights and sharp senses for both the culinary and your lies, from a sinner and an angel and the brave and just the plain stupid.

I am from the self-deprecating and the highly-sensitive.

From you’ll never be able to climb a tree and you’ll never be able to find another me.

I am from the inverted views of the crescent and the star, on my knees waiting to turn back.

I am from the city of the creatively uncreative and its posers and poseurs, plain bread and steamed rice served on China plates painstakingly crafted.

From the not-so-happy ending of mom and dad’s love story, the blood boiling and the tears rolling.

I am from the well-kept, well-preserved antique shelves hidden under our everyday closets; a ***** little secret, secretly waiting to be saved.

To the little boy in the diner,
I’m sure you didn’t notice me, I barely took note of you
but your clear, childish voice traveled
it reached my booth and seized my ears.
You were gabbing on to your parents
(who were more mindful to your stains than your words)
about all the things you want to be when you grow up.
A teacher, a veterinarian, a doctor, a policeman.
Your naive string made me smile, until the commentation flew.
“You don’t want to do that,” the parents promised.
“You’ll change your mind and give up.”
And you were quiet, but I’m sure you shrugged it off
because that’s what children do.

I am still a child, not too much older than you,
but I can’t shrug off people’s doubts of my dreams like you.
Somewhere along my journey towards adulthood
I began to accept that my dreams are unreachable.
Our whole, young lives we’re told to reach for the stars
but gradually we will be told to lower those stars
until they’re within arm’s reach.
Parents like yours and mine will say our goals should be practical
and with our current lifelong dreams we won’t amount to much.
Uncreative adults like this will instill the dull principle in some,
but I hope not you, and I hope not me.
Everyone has to be someone doing something
so why not try for the stars a million miles away?
I want to look up one day and see
those far off stars are dangling just above my head.

And as for you, little boy in the diner,
I hope you do what you want.
Speak words people will hear across nations,
or whisper melodies for only those you treasure to receive.
Perform actions that millions of people will be touched by,
or be one person’s superhero to lift them off the ground.
I hope you go back to that diner someday,
accompanied by your aging parents.
I hope you tell them that you’re successful
I hope you tell them that you're happy.

Sincerely,
the girl in the diner
P.S. I hope you prove them all wrong.

is there really enough genius bound
to speak in complex μαθ?
         among demons, angels...
geniuses... corpus miseria -
          and some other additives.
        it's a wonder, that it does happen,
ventures Newtonian, Copernican -
         but there's also that stance
toward language: whereby one reaches
a limit... because a marble-engraving,
like so many otherwise:
   bound to the fate of dust,
     those rising above it, settle in ornamental
celebratory guise... depending
on what's going to be the next finicky
cruelty... whether the wind,
or whether the talk of Parisian vogue:
primarily begun with anorexia...
    could it have been otheriwse?
models as sketches,
   skeletons for the glitter and paparazzi
blink... gluttonous maggoty-flesh
whirling in the bedroom: intoxicated
by champagne and canapes.
                 there are geniuses out there,
they do seek the limits of the human
endeavour... they use language of
solipsism,
       god Solipsus in his carved emblem
said so...
                 but there are also geniuses
who numb...
           when given language, one is given
utility,
             say: learning French, to do your
shopping, and learn French, to read a newspaper...
learn a langusge, and become as useful
as a hammer...
         well: all that's left to fathom is a care for
applause!
      but unlearning language?
                  can it be done?
    not because i wanted to become enigmatic,
not because i wanted the divergence...
       it came naturally, i paused,
and said: my limits are bound to be completely
uncreative, if that be the permitted clause...
                 as to how: language can become
dislodged from hymn,
                        from a letter (formal or informal),
from a petition, from anything invoking
a congregation...
     there's Einstein with his theory,
    and there's me... without such a theory...
  it's already trendy, labelled deconstructionism...
as ever: architecture in reverse...
                i can sometimes be bound as having possession
of a nation... i can fall into rank,
           i can be a political motiff...
i can circumstance everything on the "i am'',
have a thousand leeches suckling at me,
be prone to wavering and other subtler mechanism...
                 simply because: i have surrendered
myself to something that could never guarantee
thinking, as something worth making finicky...
             i trusted the convening of vogue,
to no testament worth reciting...
                      the labyrinth is already there,
                 question is: can i mirror it?
               so yes, there are geniuses out there,
who reveal hidden complexities...
             without necessarily using a said language -
                 death & the democratic ideal...
            throughout life and still honing toward
that one vote autocratic...
                                some even care for epitaphs,
as if chiseled in marble cares for distinguishing such
last words...
                           i have no competence to
   rummage in the a priori...
   man was always bound to create a safety
   in a historical certainty...
   a way to suggest: the carousel will stop...
               we'll find El Dorado...
                              and sure, mathematics
has the same punctuation marks
      as what is necessary to be a merchant...
i + pause            or i, pause...
                                       i could have written
a theory that might elevate man,
   but i decided to deconstruct language, whereby
i'd reach a limit, and find a 21st century
                                if there ever was one...
given the fashion industry...
                   it's hard not to see a need to plagiarise...
and so striving for originality becomes so
****** exhausting... you stop to even care for it...
                the herd is and always will be:
the dicta.
                           anything beyond it...
how we wake each day to the past, and this
persistent abortion, this panic asking:
   am i the flesh of those, kindred?!
                  take the crucifix, and it's glorification,
abstracting the tetragrammaton:
   worthy for those uneducated barbarians to be:
everything, and summary.
          have i the potential to mould a copper
effigy of a bull, empty, and place people in it
   and put the bull under a fire, and hear the cries
of agony, like some Sicillian tyrant?
                                   the title **** sapiens
came too soon... it's too immature...
     i can't grasp the argument counter:
herbivore                                        and on god's
green earth...                  the wet-eyed sheep -
  or dangling the iron maiden mould on the neck...
so it is... every, single day:
   i wake into a nightmare of the nagging man...
                   how did the third *****
create this ant-like subordinate race,
can anyone really comprehend such a congregation?
                               it's almost staggering,
that unison... that non-existent desire for
    the artist's own...
                                   no individual:
but a people...
                                       can that even be revised?
                 it does't matter...
                                    i can't imagine it,
having totally discarded the theological circumstance
   and embraced the completely natural
      slaugherhouse... as glorification of nature
   states: of god and the weakness...
                                    of nature and strength.
        and if the ancients spoke of a nonsense,
                             i cannot say anything more than
this hanging shadow of apathy.
              are snakes without eyelids?
                    transcript insomniac...
it's almost, as if, Islam is trying to rummage
in graves of ancients...
                                                 as if we are
sodden with apathy, and readied for an en masse
awakening, that's bound to Istambul...
                                 and if i think i'm writing
something contemporary, i'm always fidgety
when giving that fabled precursor that's history...
               i never know the schwab from Silesian.
ja... dicta esse noon, and anorexic shadow...
                                   and so begins,
alternative cursor... beethoven into kraftwerk...
             music in the elements...
from classical winded, into rhythm and earth
   and the bass and drum... marquise of raz, dwa, trzy...
            cztery, pięć... pięść... zex....
                       synthetic... gorgon siedem... decalogue...
                                              ginger root
Pomerenian... filthy blonde...
                                          chasing the Pruß...
and some say violence is a dietary equivalent of
fibre... or roughage...
                                    and i say:
           dogs may bark, dogs may whimper,
   but a dog will be more rational than
man with his god and his exclusion zone...
                      i feel:
                                               a fraction of
what's believable...
                                and thankfully: a moment
of being ingracious in feeling a common status
is enough... **** spaciens is a worded escapism,
it is never a fulfillment -
                             a marking worthy of universal
appeal...
                      it is man
                              trying to escape the rotations,
     it is man attempting to find a standstill...
          why bother though?
   everything is an inward continuum...
          man and his plumbing?
   plumbing, sure... darwinism and the big bang...
                     assured in finding the plughole...
            and a thousand convened ballerinas in
a tornado... silently: tip, toe, tip, toe, tip: tugging.
        branding cattle and prostitutes...
   i found more humanity in their eager whip,
than i found lipstick on a hankerchief...
                 and yes: kisses lead to bloating.
        i am glutton, meaning: am deutsche...
                               there are no germanic peoples,
          the

This poem has no meaning.
It is completely devoid of substance or artist credibility.
It is badly written and uncreative.
It is a complete waist of time.
This poem will leave you unsatisfied and annoyed,
but not because it is powerful enough to conjure any kind of reaction.
This poem is a plagiaristic construction of hypothetical nothing,
only it isn't as good as that.
This poem will steal your handbag and smoke all of your cigarettes.
This poem doesn't even smoke.
The very logic that this poem is based upon is completely flawed.
Any evidence that in any way claims to support this poem is merely circumstantial.  
This poem, was containing numerous grammatical errors.
This poem shouldn't exist.
There is no reason for it to be here.
It just is.
here.

Existence isn't temporal.
Meaning transcends over and through it.
Butterflies in a warehouse.
Once this poem has been read, it exists.

i can't write anything good until i've had my morning coffee,
the words are comatose inside me

i can't write anything good until i've brushed my teeth
the words are rotting inside each breath

i can't write anything good until i've taken a shower
the words will shine or be washed away

i can't write anything good until i've sobered up
until then all you get is
belligerent
repetitive
uncreative
pathetic

it's not that reality's boring
dreams just show me the way
it's not that reality's not welcoming
but in dreams I wish I could stay

it's not that the world is painful
but in dreams there is no strain
it's not that the world is judgmental
but in dreams I can bathe in the rain

it's not that society's uncreative
but in dreams I can paint with the music
it's not that society's not surprising
but in dreams I never feel basic  

it's not that life is too limited
but in dreams I can walk on the sun
It's not that life isn't enjoyable
but sadly, my dreams are more fun.

We're so much sleepier than we used to be.
So drained, so strained,
                 so uncreative.
It's been a blast while it's lasted,
but at last, perhaps it is time to quit.
Quit running in circles looking for miracles.
New things and new beams of light
will ignite (the tender) and give us
our sight.
(Or at least I hope.)

The stream is flowing
These trees won't stop growing
What uncreative ideas I'm throwing
Writing about nature has already been played
Nothing new can be made
I'm juggling these words in my head
oh my, is this writers block
Am I dead?

creativity is sometimes hard to find

but the only way to find creativity

is to be not creative in the first place

if you are already creative

then how can you find the creativity you already posess

discovering creativity

is one of the most rewarding feelings

so let the world be filled with uncreative minds

and let those minds

have the opportunity

to find the creativity

that was hiding

in the depths of their minds.

In a white room
thirty people
empty and plain
yet full and lively
everyone different
everyone same
stuck in a system
for hours every day
preparing for a future
that may not exist
existence destroyed
by being uncreative

in a white room
thirty people
just numbers
in a system
different numbers
but no name

Break~

We could spark a fire
In our carnal wiring
Until we tire
In the shame

Or we could all be one
All be the same
Monotone

And strange-ly uncreative

~

You scream at me,
So rude, so angry.
You tell me to do this and that,
Even you insult me and call me worthless and fat.
You were supposed to be my role model and guide me to the right way.
You're the reason why I'm this way.
I tried to help you,
Tried to cheer you up when you're blue.
However I ended up getting in your line of fire,
You were the biggest of liars.
I had to learn how to do everything by myself,
I still don't know how to take care of myself.
I hate how you side with my brothers when they are wrong,
I wish I wasn't always strong.
I wish I could let myself be me,
I wish that you would see.
You say I'm uncreative, you doubted me.
You made me feel like a freak.
I would be so excited of my accomplishments,
But you treated them like burdens.
You are like the devil,
My freedom is always part of the deal.
I hate how I had to clean the house in order to be free.
It only gets ***** again from my family.
Yet when it was dad, I had to submit,
My freedom was forfeit.
So many dates cancelled because of him,
It jeapordized my relationship.
You were my mom,
You didn't protect me at all.
You were more likely to throw me under the bus to save your skin.
You suffered because of him.
Yet despite it all,
You're still my mom.

I'm breaking down
I'm actually breaking
The cracks have gotten too big
It's flooding
My tears are rushing down my face
They won't stop
It's too much
I can't handle it
No one can
It's impossible
The pressure
Was building
Is building
Always will be building
So I broke
I'm breaking
I will never stop breaking
Till I'm shattered
And I become like the rest of the world
It will break me and
Make me like you
Responsible
Boring
Uncreative
A contributing member of society
I get it now
It's pressing us down
Into their mold
So we all fit
I understand now

I believe in the misunderstood, the underestimated, and the overlooked. I believe in society's want for you to stop being creative, to conform, to be ready when society tells you you're an unoriginal, uncreative human being right after you graduate. I believe death is a ***** and that the "living" don't really exist.  I believe classrooms are hell, colleges are satans, and teachers are noble but wannabe St. Peters. Grades aren't supposed to judge but everyone judges by numbers. I believe everyone hates society but fail to know that they ARE society. I believe in the failure to connect and that those who are isolated are the ones who have the most potential to be great. I believe scientists are better bosses than management graduates who are taught to follow the money when scientists are taught to follow the truth. I believe the truth is a lie and that the world is nothing but a big fat machine. People are liars, I am a liar and I  believe everyone is just dying. I believe suicide is courageous, because facing the unknown is always more courageous than facing the expected. I believe in the plastics and  the cynicals. I believe in poetry and I believe in absolutely no one and nothing at all.

Mr Snodgrass was an unrepentant  man,
he wanted  nothing more than a house mouse.
He laugh at her trainers,
telling they subliminally showed
she was uncreative.
He doesn't need twine
he plans to be provocative.
After intentionally brushing her cheek in the dark
she lower her head
and seem to take on his burdens.
She dye her hair sun red,
and wear a Ra Ra skirt to please.
Bare footed taking a few strides outside
to instinctively repair the mesh for the chickens

sixto rodriguez
isn't good enough for you

her faded name makes do
she has an inner wrist tattoo

someone said,
"there are a lot of uncreative people out there who have a need to express themselves"

how true
how true

Her bio said she was from
Uranus
And that’s all we need to know
To make the easy decision to scroll

a gullible **** in the watermelon patch
expecting to tower and live life among the others -
with hope of musical days , curious , a bit embarrassed -
lit up in late morning Sun
quickly shaded , protected by the burgeoning populace -
of kindred spirits he assumed were friends , befuddled -
with their ultimate height and fruition , something which -
he wanted so bad
but the "wanted" overtook his sky , leaving him -
quite maligned , uncreative and ready to die , returned to the fertile -
Earth as a lesson for the 'labeled' in the month of May ,
a parable of our short lives , minority days among 'the -
chosen' , disenfranchised from the all powerful Vine*  ..

white is hardly a colour of
surrender with you flapping
such excess of words;
next battle nearby? call me when
you encounter Hastings on
the transverse trampoline.
i find that critics have stiff
vocabularies, polished ones
ready prim and ready corset,
ready chalk for skeleton
in shadow ****** complexions,
the uncreative always speak of creativity;
it's chequers or chess, poker or bridge,
****-head gaming above all the turds,
carding to a duplex of the shuffle:
n'es pas?