"unconditionality" poems
Digression from stars, digression from home
Once near and now far
Rain has impregnated soil with smell of distance
Once I drowned in your eyes
Nevermore…
Children on the road, game rings through the sky
Once love, now not even hate
Sun warmed asphalt of desert cities
Once I was beginner, now I’m loser
Nevermore…
Love in dog’s eye, divine unconditionality
Once existence and now nothing
Wind carried in waves of sorrow
Once I believed in dreams
Nevermore…
Jul 22, 2010
Jul 22, 2010 at 8:39 AM UTC
Finally snapped that thread, I think,
that strand of connection that
held my affection
for the person I thought I felt I saw
inside
the man I never saw
in real life.
I was your distraction
while you were the extraction
of what I wanted from 'us',
just friendship with that frisson of more,
that spark, that 'maybe just once'
that made me feel less of what I am
and more of who I'd like to be.
But by taking what I needed I'm left
with something real
some thing I really feel,
a warmth, a tug towards you
an elasticity of acceptance that
slithers uncomfortably around your
brittle arm holding life safely back.
Unconditionality an attack.
One more try, in the spirit of this really real regard.
'Hey man, how are you? let's talk'.
Don't can't won't answer. Banter, yes. Connection? Too hard.
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 3:23 AM UTC
Searching for unconditionality
Core burning for such totality
But realising in actuality
When meshed with practicality
The idea smacks vapid and rapidly
Melts in its own reality
Love without condition’s a formality
Defined by its own commonality
No substance is found in normality
No guarantee of magnanimity
Instead I’ll forego the vanity
And try that inhospitality
Found next to the notion of real sensuality
And accept the inescapable brutality
Of love’s dimensionality
Mortality
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 9:17 PM UTC
he holds my very soul
in his cold, dead hands
unappreciated and sad in his tortured life,
but a genius now--
he has my whole heart.
to love so spiritually is an act of insanity but
the red-bearded painter,
with his self-hatred and
desperation for understanding,
his thick brushstrokes that make my lungs numb
and his immortal madness,
is all i think about.
i am in love with his love for the world,
the world that laughed at him and drove him to his end.
i'd like to think that same unconditionality runs in my veins.
"i could not care less what the colors are in reality"
yellow paint for breakfast, to be happy
a gunshot to the chest for lunch, to be happy forever
i think my heaven looks a lot like his paintings:
bold and heartbreaking in the best ways,
an endless orchard and starry nights
and sunflowers on the dining room table.
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 11:12 AM UTC
Butterfly
Flutter high
You'd better fly
and paint the air
Colorless worm
Powerless you were
Alone in the blur
of the world out there
Brought up by a careless mother
Brought down by a faithless lover
Back-stabbed by the closest friend
But never strong enough to mend
The abuse in their love
Fed the unconditionality in yours
The harshness in their souls
Fueled the kindness in yours
When all this world's horrors
Swept away all your colors
New ones were your creation
A spectrum beyond imagination
Now all you see around you
is this world's boredom and pallor
Many will underestimate you
Won't appreciate you precious color
'Till you find that rare other you
who knows the price of your glamour
Has enough kindness to deserve you
from all the pain he had suffered
To invest himself all in you
to paint the air together
"If only this world had many of you
we could have loved one another"
Butterfly
Flutter far
Better fly high
like the star you are
Colorless worm
Alone in the blur
Not anymore
But so much more.
~Epic Monkey
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 2:12 AM UTC
Damaged seeks damage
And misery loves company
I think that's why we're best friends,
We understand each other's melancholy.
I realized out of the blue
That I've never written anything for you
And that's just ridiculous, you know,
You're the best friend I've ever had
You're angry, and I'm sad
But deep down inside it's the same broken path
I destroy myself for the hell of it
And you watch with open arms,
You stick around.
Thank you for that.
It's three thousand miles of pure ********
But at the end of it all there is nothing more sincere
Than the way we can laugh with each other
After so many long years.
This is pretty messy, this is pretty dull
But I wanted to write something that hadn't been said yet
About something that hasn't grown old.
Our bond is irreplaceable,
Irrevocable.
Thank you for showing me unconditionality
And thank you for being around for refusing to forget.
See January 23rd, 2019
Is gonna either make or break me
I will fly my way across this torn land
I will stay by your side.
And when the clock strikes midnight,
January 24th, 2019
Will break it's way through the clouds to greet you.
A world without you would break my heart
Every day that came.
And in the time we spend apart
I learn the spaces between your name.
This one is yours, for you to keep
Please remember me, when you turn 23.
Boost Post
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 5:44 PM UTC
"They love you unconditionally."
That's what you say,
That's what you tell me,
That's what I know,
That's what I thought.
How conditional is their unconditionality?
Sure, they're family.
Sure, they've raised me, watched me grow.
Sure, they know me.
Sure, they say they love me.
How far can I fall before they refuse to catch me?
They believe in certain things.
things i don't agree with.
They follow certain ways.
ways i go against.
They don't know I differ from them.
Just tell me,
How conditional is their 'unconditional' love?
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 8:03 AM UTC