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"unbelieving" poems
With every affirmation My tongue trips over the unspoken Unrequited acceptance of current circumstance My submission is insulting Unbelieving, you see my lowered eyes as an attack Belly up I am confused Unsure of what movements are appropriate Frozen, doe-eyed and exhausted from the constant dance Do I bow Do I speak Merely acknowledging my emotions Sends shockwaves through the tentative peace I was not built for this A goddess prostrated Stripped of her very core Caged and chained But it is almost as if my very attempt to accede Is a declaration of war What kind of existence is this Trapped between personage and possession My only purpose is to please. Allow me.
0
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC
Unsure
I get the crust and the gristle of a thistle once a missile shooting out into the sky and I cry, wonder why. Never sure what I feel for the meal of a deal and then words more like air slip the breeze in my hair, butterflies in the skies killing what kept my alive. Oh too bad, well how sad, if the songs last lines din't matter it'd harm, it'd make the soul so very mad. Here I fall, there I stand like a robot dancing to the tunes. It's demand. Hear I laugh, hear I cry. I hear the screams and feel the burn, so why? Why unsure, of what's telling me my life is so impure. Threatened heart, from the strings that wrap it, tearing it apart. Feel the clench of a bundle of what you yourself have drench and so benched. And you threw to me the horror show, I never so have thought would reckon me to be. I, to be, it's master and it's longing family, here I cry. Hear "I" cry. For I exist in heart, but never, not in mind. There I stand once again as a memory of all that I pretend. If I tried, to be real, the pieces fall apart inside. So I hide, then I quiver and I shake as 'me' is inside. I can touch to the shelter covered in the unbelieving, underachieving to be who I know I am to be. Or at least what you see. I crush the old me and start anew, though I grew. I, immortal to myself have stomped the true. And I become something greater than simple little shrew. Do not lie! For I see with one eye, the look through me. What you see is a host, not the ghost, that lives on. "Awh, look at me. I'm so strong!" Laugh along. Child there. Where? Oops, forgot to care. Now I stare, towards the end that's never ending like this script. Never ending. Twist and bending. Don't kid me, I'm no kid. I'm the body of a youth, but I am dead. I've destroyed myself, if others didn't do a perfect job. Hold up stop! I'm letting go, a bubble that will pop. It will burst, destroying me, if it doesn't **** me first. Here I stand. Hear I cry. There I go. I have died.
0
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 1:09 PM UTC
Vents
I get the crust and the gristle of a thistle once a missile shooting out into the sky and I cry, wonder why. Never sure what I feel for the meal of a deal and then words more like air slip the breeze in my hair, butterflies in the skies killing what kept my alive. Oh too bad, well how sad, if the songs last lines din't matter it'd harm, it'd make the soul so very mad. Here I fall, there I stand like a robot dancing to the tunes. It's demand. Hear I laugh, hear I cry. I hear the screams and feel the burn, so why? Why unsure, of what's telling me my life is so impure. Threatened heart, from the strings that wrap it, tearing it apart. Feel the clench of a bundle of what you yourself have drench and so benched. And you threw to me the horror show, I never so have thought would reckon me to be. I, to be, it's master and it's longing family, here I cry. Hear "I" cry. For I exist in heart, but never, not in mind. There I stand once again as a memory of all that I pretend. If I tried, to be real, the pieces fall apart inside. So I hide, then I quiver and I shake as 'me' is inside. I can touch to the shelter covered in the unbelieving, underachieving to be who I know I am to be. Or at least what you see. I crush the old me and start anew, though I grew. I, immortal to myself have stomped the true. And I become something greater than simple little shrew. Do not lie! For I see with one eye, the look through me. What you see is a host, not the ghost, that lives on. "Awh, look at me. I'm so strong!" Laugh along. Child there. Where? Oops, forgot to care. Now I stare, towards the end that's never ending like this script. Never ending. Twist and bending. Don't kid me, I'm no kid. I'm the body of a youth, but I am dead. I've destroyed myself, if others didn't do a perfect job. Hold up stop! I'm letting go, a bubble that will pop. It will burst, destroying me, if it doesn't **** me first. Here I stand. Hear I cry. There I go. I have died.
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1
The proudest of men that walk the earth Have been doused in glory since the day of their births They chase after those who've run away Speak when there is not a word to say And their greatest endeavor is to convert the innocent Hungry for the women striking young and brilliant Unbelieving of a lady's independence Sure that all women crave their presence Like rabid dogs, the proud men search For those to quench their undying thirst To be loved and accepted of men of the heart But these men only search in the emptiness of dark How can they deny the truth in their faces? They imbalance the world and its natural paces No one can love an arrogant, proud man But they search and search, yet they never understand That love is for those who are willing to fail
0
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:30 PM UTC
Proud
we are strong people - full and sure our purposes are not in conflict - just out of phase we share the need to achieve and to find new solutions we are intense people - busy and needed our hours are overfull - our agendas undone we share the delight of discovery and endure our learnings we are expectant people - determined and convinced, respectful and cantankerous we share an expectation of excellence - of success though unprepared and unbelieving we share the need for trust and commitment we share the dream of excellence
0
Jul 21, 2012
Jul 21, 2012 at 11:15 PM UTC
not quite excellence
Growing up is not growing old, It's unbelieving all you are told. Unbuying lies you've been sold, Breaking down your social mould. You must stray far from the fold, To let your mind be uncontrolled. Growing up, is growing bold, Do it quick before you're old.
0
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 6:40 PM UTC
Growing Up
You abruptly say you are leaving I stare stunned Eyes averted unbelieving I drop to my knees Heart broken and grieving Thoughts of loss and pain Run through my brain Misery Loss Rejection Are weaving Into my life again You seem Hell bent on leaving I guess looks are deceiving You looked so content But you say your love is gone And you don’t know where it went? You are going to leave me broken and bent What is the reason you are giving? Whatever it is I am shaken to the core Stunned I watch As you pack your stuff I beg and say Enough, enough Our love was Heaven sent What happened? What did I miss? A subtle change? In your touch? In your kiss? Is that all out love meant? You are declaring us over Hell Bent? Or Heaven Sent?
0
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 4, 2018 at 2:15 AM UTC
Hell Bent or Heaven Sent?
Changing faces for nameless places Nameless people struggling for existence in a nameless time Worship the incoherent ramblings Of countless babbling nameless fools Bread and water lead the lambs to slaughter Prejudice injustice demanding obedience Nameless zombies Becoming the robotic puppet Of the puppeteers desires With pre-programmed responses Feelings not your own Desensitized children Of a race of morbid loving junkies We render them fearless, then cry At the mass of chaos they invoke upon us Lost leading the lost Devouring the beauty in their paths The scourge of the free man Who lives under the delusion of his freedom Prisoners all While the power sits upon a high throne laughing Unbelieving how simply they all fell And obediently they continue to provide The avenues of deception for his rich existence © Crystal Erickson   11/24/2007
0
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
Nameless
Race Day Run like a Slave Auction First Teeth Then **** Next *** Count the Purse Strings.... Fridge Check Blow Job .. Any Good? Check Vision and on and on It Went Until finally It came To the Question Of Family And suddenly She looked around And there wasn't one person Not one She stood that way For a long time Looking Out Unbelieving The ground Empty As if a thousand corpse Lay Rotting In The Sunlight looking up Eyes UnSeeing Trying But there wasn't Anything That could be said They left her there Their own Flag Made for Flying         Not Dying                              Suddenly A Breeze... It was Peace Who Called To take her From the Pole Where She had Been left Hanging A new Thought Of a NEW Cross Annointed  Colors                Life
0
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 4:47 PM UTC
White ******
Moist and monochrome, clouds are gathering On a Sunday afternoon. Look up idly from my browsing, at the building 'cross the pool Winds picks up, the monsoon breezes Lick at the curtains twelve floors up On the terrace, woman standing Arms outstretched, grasp the rail Legs stressed back, footloose in sandal Lightly muscled, slightly formed Kimono slips from lighted shoulder, designer ****** strawberry brown Fabric glides across the hip-line Revealing all to me below Wearing nothing on the landing Hint of shadow, ***** mound. From the sliding doors behind her Steps a man not quite unseen Waist encircled in one movement, undergarment stripped away Rigid stillness then the thrusting Tension mounting at the breath Woman gasps the O shape forming Through her silent, varnished lips Mahler moaning on the ITunes Waves are forming, silent sound Thrusting, busting, flexing, ******* arching back crescendo reached Sun comes out, just at that moment Roads diverging in the wood Disconnecting, and uncoupling Might and maybe should and aught Trembling fingers, taught in temper Blink the eye and pop the top Shaking hands that hold the taper, to the unformed smoking spliff **** the wreaths in, breathe the thought out Bottle clinks across the teeth Unbelieving, unconcealing Unrelieving, unreleased
0
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013 at 4:38 AM UTC
Not Quite Unseen
When they were entangled in the orange coils of passion again, she reminded him of the moonstone. **When he and she were in a band, at its wild crescendo, the moonstone had melted, a molten green fluorescent liquid, roared in his ***** she felt the tremor, the spasms that comes like waves, to embrace the shores, wild winds, cloudburst. "Come deep" she pleads to him in between. Winds still in the wings kept roaring as if the thirst remains, didn't he see moonstone in her eyes, an eager glint, unspoken words, obscene perhaps, erupting from deep? He ate apples, she had peaches, she combed her long hair, with a ritualistic meticulousness.** He  spat the seeds of the fruit. She stared at him with unbelieving eyes, at that night, something strange happened, the river went dry, in the morning he saw dead fish amidst pebbles smooth and round, shaped by long years of rolling through the riverbed,  now lying orphaned, naked without the cover of water. *She had already left, was the moonstone yet another myth?*
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May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC
The Moonstone
there were things i had never imagined i would understand be; experience and gape bemusedly at my unbelieving ambiguous eyes in the unnoticeably clear smiling mirror of the bathroom. things such as being a creep the creep whose wandering eye wanders just a wee bit longer. A microsecond length of the not-understood, the suspicious,the dubious the curious sometimes, but really mostly nefarious lunatic, perhaps...? the creep whose teeth clench into a smile. the lips parting but only Mendaciously...perhaps..? the creep who peers into me like a god scouring my precious little secrets my hurt points, my loci of scandalous innocuous things meant to be inside of me for my self. the creep who infringes on my warm bed of Safety. *** ******** erectile dysfunction sneer ****** ***** me father mother weirdity all the complexes that make you Feel like a spider whose web is shattered with but an uncaring finger. power. Uncaring Callousness terrifying in it's brutality intent , and things beyond . the creep peers in. but i was only trying to make friends. a bit too hard , perhaps...? oh the creeps of the world i understand thy plight the fact that you never understand what you are doing but only after it has passed that the black hole irises of un-understanding visages come to you to inform you that you have been a creep, the Creep.
0
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
on being a creep
Writer’s block has hit me once again. Ideas fallen through, glass half empty, metaphors worthless, rhymes are hopeless. Every word written has been erased. A blank mind continues at this pace. Sluggish reading, unbelieving, downward progress, I’m voiceless.
0
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
Writer's Block
Moist and monochrome, clouds are gathering On a Sunday afternoon. Look up idly from my browsing, at the building 'cross the pool Winds picks up, the monsoon breezes Lick at the curtains twelve floors up On the terrace, woman standing Arms outstretched, grasp the rail Legs stressed back, footloose in sandal Lightly muscled, slightly formed Kimono slips from lighted shoulder, designer ****** strawberry brown Fabric glides across the hip-line Revealing all to me below Wearing nothing on the landing Hint of shadow, ***** mound. From the sliding doors behind her Steps a man not quite unseen Waist encircled in one movement, undergarment stripped away Rigid stillness then the thrusting Tension mounting at the breath Woman gasps the O shape forming Through her silent, varnished lips Mahler moaning on the ITunes Waves are forming, silent sound Thrusting, busting, flexing, ******* arching back crescendo reached Sun comes out, just at that moment Roads diverging in the wood Disconnecting, and uncoupling Might and maybe, aught and should Trembling  fingers, taught in temper Blink the eye and pop the top Shaking hands that hold the taper, to the unformed smoking spliff **** the wreaths in, breathe the thought out Bottle clinks across the teeth Unbelieving, unconcealing Unrelieving, unreleased
0
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 6:15 AM UTC
Not Quite Unseen
Holy Spirit, Your name is Pope Call for Life as Un-embodied meaning I stand in Salute, and release FAITH. Hiding in the Invisible, as Openness for a Freedom that knows no Flag, I claim Life without Victory. Story written upon each Wall From Vietnam to New Berlin, Family Inheritance, Reflected in the Sunlight. A little girls Dad, A Fathers Son, I SEE my Brothers Name, for the very first time. Swallowing Heart of Grief, Held imprisoned by tears of Unbelieving, I remember the moment you did not come home. It was the end of Life for all of us. Why do I remember? It was on this day that you moved thru the hour glass Put into heaven by the ****** needle of a soldiers pain, Your Heart is Thanksgiving. I am here with you. No need to explain. Your Choice, Victory Mine, Stillness. both just simple paths, on this road that serves Love. Footprint of Compassion, ONE Step. I Claim LIFE. I Claim FREEDOM. And So It Is.
0
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 9:55 PM UTC
Financial Divinity
My eye’s so drenched in my evident pain, Cry! Cry I do My heart shakes with my sobs How? How can you relate If I try so hard But you do not care You are only here to break me Farther apart Split me I am but a lowly servant To this castle of heartache Where one will not leave unscathed My hands grip the table for support I have seen one to many Crumble like the old stone out back I must stay strong with only my shoulders To hold this, wait! I can be strong I must be! I must Or I will fail myself   To be swept out in the current So unforgiving Swinging me so violently around As you have done My heart unbelieving My ears I thought deceiving But no the truth before my unseeing eyes Oh I wished were lies Take me away Please I beg My soul can not bare much more Of these harsh cynical words I try I truly do Why oh why am I at blame At the bottom of your shoe When it meets the pavement Crushed and forgotten Like a memory wiped away Like chalk on a chalk bored All that is left Is the smeared image Blurred, of who I used  to be Erased forgotten In the rear view mirror The chilling realness of it Leaves me in utter despair Belated emotion Running their cold hands Down my back These tears seem fresh But they had only burrowed inside me I cannot hold on I fall to my knees How? How have I gone on Knowing you have been untrue You did not love me You did not believe You took from me You hurt me I am not here for entertainment So I shall leave Just as one before me had Just as I had picked you up From the dust beneath your feet I am a slave in your steel grip No longer will I sit by And lower my head I will stand and raise my chin Instead, I am no weak child I am strong and mild So beneath this moonlight I will leave With no goodbye Do not search I am not here I have left I will never come back I am not so easily persuade As you stand in the door And yell You cry But this act is over Draw the curtains
0
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM UTC
Forgotten, battered, goodbye
My eye’s so drenched in my evident pain, Cry! Cry I do My heart shakes with my sobs How? How can you relate If I try so hard But you do not care You are only here to break me Farther apart Split me I am but a lowly servant To this castle of heartache Where one will not leave unscathed My hands grip the table for support I have seen one to many Crumble like the old stone out back I must stay strong with only my shoulders To hold this, wait! I can be strong I must be! I must Or I will fail myself   To be swept out in the current So unforgiving Swinging me so violently around As you have done My heart unbelieving My ears I thought deceiving But no the truth before my unseeing eyes Oh I wished were lies Take me away Please I beg My soul can not bare much more Of these harsh cynical words I try I truly do Why oh why am I at blame At the bottom of your shoe When it meets the pavement Crushed and forgotten Like a memory wiped away Like chalk on a chalk bored All that is left Is the smeared image Blurred, of who I used  to be Erased forgotten In the rear view mirror The chilling realness of it Leaves me in utter despair Belated emotion Running their cold hands Down my back These tears seem fresh But they had only burrowed inside me I cannot hold on I fall to my knees How? How have I gone on Knowing you have been untrue You did not love me You did not believe You took from me You hurt me I am not here for entertainment So I shall leave Just as one before me had Just as I had picked you up From the dust beneath your feet I am a slave in your steel grip No longer will I sit by And lower my head I will stand and raise my chin Instead, I am no weak child I am strong and mild So beneath this moonlight I will leave With no goodbye Do not search I am not here I have left I will never come back I am not so easily persuade As you stand in the door And yell You cry But this act is over Draw the curtains
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83
To be a Mrs Joe or become a lady Havisham? I weep for him I weep for him I weep for him and me. I lose tears salted with his stress or his concealed thoughts plugging up his brilliant mind i weep about him, about me about us there's no shame in being pure we're all pure at once there's no shame. To him there is. in the doubts of his voice and tongue there is shame. i love him. i love him with everything i have everything i see everything i believe or know i willingly give to him but he loves me not. ill slip him some purple petals dipped in yellow stigmas or become a ghost of a girlfriend. a ghoul of a lover. one insignificant link in a long shackled chain of exs forever bound in his vast memory and mind as ***** "cow" **** "ungrateful" "unworthy" Am I Cleoparra? Mrs Joe? Havisham? Estella? I have no twinkling green eyes i have no slender waist or vast, indefeatable wit i have no enigmatic undeniable beauty That would quake the heavens and make angels sing and string Apollo's lyre or beam such light that would Diana's breast i am insignificant .unspecial. he is special. i believe in no such god but he would be my proof my tear of hope a small ray of belief and defiance tearing apart a black unbelieving universe i am a passing pair of peepers he'll see a million as insignificant as i ill only know a love like this once. For him. he should live forever he will if not this world in a wasteland am i Estella? Cleopatra? Mrs Joe? Miss Havisham?
0
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 2:29 PM UTC
Untitled
I sway from side to side. Floating, hovering above the ground. My heart beat is starting to slow down. My vision fades subtly. My eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head. The cold leather coiled around my throat, starts to chafe my skin. No feeling of air inside my lungs. Not breathing feels comfortable, it feels right. It feels peaceful. My mind casually slips away from me. Sweet serenity graces me with a final kiss I've been waiting for. Black. Everything is so fuzzy, and so shifty. I can't see straight. I collect the fragments of my mind. Above me hangs the remains of my neuse, frayed and torn. I lay on the floor. Unbelieving at this sight. This attempt has failed. Hopefully the next won't.
0
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 5:35 AM UTC
Always incomplete
IV These fought in any case, And some believing, pro domo, in any case .. Some quick to arm, some for adventure, some from fear of weakness, some from fear of censure, some for love of slaughter, in imagination, learning later… some in fear, learning love of slaughter; Died some, pro patria, non dulce et non decor.. walked eye-deep in hell believing in old men's lies, then unbelieving **came home, home to a lie, home to many deceits, home to old lies and new infamy; usury age-old and age-thick and liars in public places.** Daring as never before, wastage as never before. Young blood and high blood, Fair cheeks, and fine bodies; fortitude as never before frankness as never before, disillusions as never told in the old days, hysterias, trench confessions, laughter out of dead bellies. from Hugh Selwyn Mauberley
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 5:36 AM UTC
Ezra Pound
She turned to a stone, before his unbelieving eyes! in earlier times this would be counted as the result of a  curse, an analysis, on how it happened seemed futile, so he didn't pursue He chisel and hammer ominously were left somewhere, she was irretrievably trapped, within a queer shaped stone .
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Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 2:40 PM UTC
The girl trapped inside a block of stone
I have waited in certain landlocked towns, Near and far, and far from here. And I have sailed and been in low ports found, Their inlets clad in salted air. And I have dreamed on oft spoken of starry nights and on largely unspoken starless nights, Of select places with opportune and tactless new found faces. And I have lain out restless and uncomfortably awake, Hearing human voices shriek and drown, In salt clad harbor towns, And heard those specific siren calls of those particular siren girls, In those inlets, salt clad by the sea. And still awake I have heard, in those waiting-space landlocked towns, Curiously, those curious sounds, Of only human and yet inhumane calls. Dressed in that specific gauze of an agony-tone, For that specific landlocked home, Where drinkers go, That drunkard’s throne, And been sullen at that once and forever shoreless drone. And I have also been, you see, in places left unknown. And in a daydream I would hear and be heard by almost gasping voices, From waking and still somehow sleeping and unbelieving men. Grasping out onto air that has been made thin and further, Been gasping. Searching for woefully inaccurate words, With a woefully inarticulate tongue, And I have danced and been set atremble by the timbre of your breathe And then enamored by the resonance of your gasp, And I have gasped with a tongue set dancing behind lips all aflutter. In those unutterable places with specifically unknown locations, I have listened, Through rock and metal, Between those landlocked towns and those salt clad harbors, For the full sound escaped from your trembled lips. And I have listened, through daydreaming mist veils, And through known and unknown places, For that voice that speaks through space and time and rock and metal, And I have only heard that curious sound of human and inhuman calls, And I have heard those particular siren calls of those specific siren girls, And that cry of human voices that shriek and drown.
0
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 17, 2013 at 11:00 PM UTC
Songs for Sirens I
I have waited in certain landlocked towns, Near and far, and far from here. And I have sailed and been in low ports found, Their inlets clad in salted air. And I have dreamed on oft spoken of starry nights and on largely unspoken starless nights, Of select places with opportune and tactless new found faces. And I have lain out restless and uncomfortably awake, Hearing human voices shriek and drown, In salt clad harbor towns, And heard those specific siren calls of those particular siren girls, In those inlets, salt clad by the sea. And still awake I have heard, in those waiting-space landlocked towns, Curiously, those curious sounds, Of only human and yet inhumane calls. Dressed in that specific gauze of an agony-tone, For that specific landlocked home, Where drinkers go, That drunkard’s throne, And been sullen at that once and forever shoreless drone. And I have also been, you see, in places left unknown. And in a daydream I would hear and be heard by almost gasping voices, From waking and still somehow sleeping and unbelieving men. Grasping out onto air that has been made thin and further, Been gasping. Searching for woefully inaccurate words, With a woefully inarticulate tongue, And I have danced and been set atremble by the timbre of your breathe And then enamored by the resonance of your gasp, And I have gasped with a tongue set dancing behind lips all aflutter. In those unutterable places with specifically unknown locations, I have listened, Through rock and metal, Between those landlocked towns and those salt clad harbors, For the full sound escaped from your trembled lips. And I have listened, through daydreaming mist veils, And through known and unknown places, For that voice that speaks through space and time and rock and metal, And I have only heard that curious sound of human and inhuman calls, And I have heard those particular siren calls of those specific siren girls, And that cry of human voices that shriek and drown.
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40
The rivers           that oxbow              slither     down the Cumberland drain         in May                  SWOLE M-E-A-N------F-a-t-----P--R--E--G--N--A--N--T,          hungry pregnant, walking the floor & opening the fridge pregnant, drown your own mother for a nosh pregnant,     cantankerously mad pregnant, flowing from car to car, truck to truck and house to house,    through crawl space, doors, and windows, down halls, laddering stairs, licking banisters, cresting attics,     feeding, feeding, feeding, feeding on the stacked labor of years and years, feeding, feeding, feeding on unbelieving minds and dumb stares, feeding, feeding, feeding,      on "We've lost everything", "Oh, my God."s     and tears.
0
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010 at 11:17 PM UTC
Tennessee Flood, May 2010
a tree did grow in Brooklyn. it was June-- our third-- and the summer weather hadn't turned yet: school was just out, Prospect Park was never full, and the nights were still cool. it was summer in the city before it comes unglued. i had yet to resent the F train terminal or its crowds or its sweat. i hadn't grown bored of 23rd St. on one end of the day and Church Avenue on another, or of the cost of cigarettes or coffee or of the FOODTOWN sign at the top of the subway steps. it was a beautiful month because it was doomed barely to last its 30 days. and there were too so many long hours, sitting barely shaded on your stoop, fending off the landlord's sister and the bugs and waiting for the fall. each time i've gone back since then i've sat on those slow steps; that summer it was no different: three months to crown three years, moving so timelessly by that next month the heat bore down, not the heat only of the sun and the air but the wet, ***** heat of the city, steam forever rising from underground, the oil spills in the gutters beginning to boil. but still it was New York and summer. the roaches and rats hadn't yet eaten all the fireflies. i grew to love routine disquiet: the long car rides to Queens, the Mets games and their pretzel smell and riding back, inevitably discouraged, my homemade tank top leaking Magic marker onto my chest; the trips to the beach at Rockaway, sullen and determined, and their return to Manhattan, tasting like salt (and you, once, like blood) and my hair stiff with brine and feeling the sand in our shoes grit against the ***** sidewalks; those quick walks from Smith&9th Streets, sipping Mexican Cokes and rationing our time by cigarettes: all of July was exhausting, but familiar by then. in August the tornado came, first Brooklyn'd seen in 30 years. we two slept blissfully through it, woke only for the aftermath. we went outside almost giddy, certainly unbelieving, holding hands. and the tree which had stood outside so serenly was uprooted, having missed the bedroom window by only a few feet. [it was June-- cool. barely shaded so timelessly beginning to boil all the fireflies.]
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Nov 19, 2010
Nov 19, 2010 at 11:18 AM UTC
a tree did grow
a tree did grow in Brooklyn. it was June-- our third-- and the summer weather hadn't turned yet: school was just out, Prospect Park was never full, and the nights were still cool. it was summer in the city before it comes unglued. i had yet to resent the F train terminal or its crowds or its sweat. i hadn't grown bored of 23rd St. on one end of the day and Church Avenue on another, or of the cost of cigarettes or coffee or of the FOODTOWN sign at the top of the subway steps. it was a beautiful month because it was doomed barely to last its 30 days. and there were too so many long hours, sitting barely shaded on your stoop, fending off the landlord's sister and the bugs and waiting for the fall. each time i've gone back since then i've sat on those slow steps; that summer it was no different: three months to crown three years, moving so timelessly by that next month the heat bore down, not the heat only of the sun and the air but the wet, ***** heat of the city, steam forever rising from underground, the oil spills in the gutters beginning to boil. but still it was New York and summer. the roaches and rats hadn't yet eaten all the fireflies. i grew to love routine disquiet: the long car rides to Queens, the Mets games and their pretzel smell and riding back, inevitably discouraged, my homemade tank top leaking Magic marker onto my chest; the trips to the beach at Rockaway, sullen and determined, and their return to Manhattan, tasting like salt (and you, once, like blood) and my hair stiff with brine and feeling the sand in our shoes grit against the ***** sidewalks; those quick walks from Smith&9th Streets, sipping Mexican Cokes and rationing our time by cigarettes: all of July was exhausting, but familiar by then. in August the tornado came, first Brooklyn'd seen in 30 years. we two slept blissfully through it, woke only for the aftermath. we went outside almost giddy, certainly unbelieving, holding hands. and the tree which had stood outside so serenly was uprooted, having missed the bedroom window by only a few feet. [it was June-- cool. barely shaded so timelessly beginning to boil all the fireflies.]
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73
Tar I was never yours this was never meant to be, you never truly wanted me, I was just your plan B, only good when you needed me. Remember the lunches I bought? Remember the fights I fought, the times my motives were almost caught? All to please you and keep you by my side, only to show that friends stick by. And now that I've stripped you from all your power, I face the unbelieving expression of your hardworking, single mother And I used to stare at the ground, Afraid to paint a frown in the city, but now I'll stare you down, beg please, with the words you're wasting on deaf ears, dress me in graffiti.
0
Dec 31, 2016
Dec 31, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC
Duo
There was a desolate Island Far, far away There sat a man Not knowing his way His friend told him “I know the way” So he traveled by car and train Boat and plane To that desolate Island Far, far away Where that man now sits Not knowing his way He somehow landed In that God forsaken place Unbelieving and doubt Mixed in his heart On that desolate Island Far, far away Where that man sits Not knowing his way He trusted that man To put his life in his hand Then the cruel wheel of fate Dropped him On that desolate Island Far, far away Sitting there Not knowing his way The island choked His heart and thoughts Making him feel As though he were alone On that desolate Island Far, far away Sitting there Not knowing his way He decided one day To make a way To get back home And possibly escape That desolate Island Far, far away Where that man stands Possibly knowing his way He walked to the ocean Looked into the water Saw his reflection And doubt in his eyes Because of that desolate Island Far, far away Where he stood at the shore Knowing his way He jumped in the water Enjoying the feel As warmth embraced him Eliminating fear Leaving that desolate Island Far, far away Where he once stood Not knowing his way He gave up on those Who he thought he knew And started over With little fear Away from that desolate Island Far, far away Where he once stood Not knowing his way
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Jul 11, 2010
Jul 11, 2010 at 9:31 PM UTC
The Island
You ask me one day, *who do they say, I am, what names are whispered when I pass,* **some say you’re a prophet from the past, and often others claim you’re John the Baptist whose head Herod took, now alive again making way for the Messiah to reign,** You follow with another question, but who am to you, my friend, I answer, not prophet, not John, but the Son of the living God, sudden joy on Your face, intense, you proclaim to me, *Peter, you’re a blessed man, for my Father has shown you what flesh and blood cannot, so on you, this rock, I will build a church that hell’s assault will not defeat, you’ll hold the keys to my Kingdom’s gates, power to bind and loose all on heaven and earth in my name,* in the moment, I am amazed, mind racing, unbelieving you would hand me, a fisherman from Galilee, the right to reign at your side but at the same time, knowing you’d never lie to me, for I believe you’re all you say and more, my Savior Christ, the coming Lord.
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May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 10:08 PM UTC
On This Rock: Confession