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Aztec Warrior Nov 2015
BECOMING CONSCIOUS AFTER EATING A YELLOW MOON**


yesterday I ate a yellow moon
as it rode low, and slowly
encountered a twilight sky.
it tasted like vanilla crunch.
but you know, eating the moon
gives you a headache,
like the kind you get if your face
was slammed against the wall,
then kicked in the gut
when you were down.
the kind of headache
I’ve had since I was three;
at least that is what I was told.
I can’t remember much
about those early days.
besides the headaches,
I have been deaf since ten
and I carry a limp as well
as a glass eye
from having philosophical
discussions with each cellar step
as I bounced down.
I now find it hard to open the cellar door
cause I swear I hear crying
coming from down there.
I know it must be me
sprawled on the blood soaked floor
and I think I might go crazy
if I saw myself.

~~~

you know what’s really crazy though?
for the longest time
I loved him; would follow him
do everything I could to please him.
bring him his pipe
or the newspaper
get him coffee.
except on those days
where his eyes were red
and he stank of ****. thenI would plead:
“oh daddy. don’t be mad at me.
please don’t hit me. no,
no, not mr. johnson, that
hurts so much.
I’ll be good. I promise.”

~~~

even now, I think I love him.
I never meant to push him back,
to knock him down the stairs
I guess if I had called
the ambulance right away
everything would have been okay.
but the judge said that it was wrong
to stab him so many times;
to cut off his johnson
and stick it in his mouth.
somehow though,
I never understood why.
it’s not like he begged
for mercy
and he never once cried!

~~~

I am home now,
back from another conversation
with electricity,
sitting in my room
at St. Mary’s starring blankly
at this huge, yellow moon.
as I savor its vanilla crunch,
I am trying to understand why
I feel like I am to blame?
trying to remember if I ever smile;
work up the courage to hate him.

(Written under this pen name)
~~redzone 10/29/02
Posted as Aztec Warrior 10.31.15
I have been reading a lot of poems that deal with abuse of one shade or another and wanted to add to this conversation. This aabuse is far too widespread and need to be forced into the light of day and STOPPED.  So there are no misunderstandings, I personally have never been abused. I know of and am friends with many who have been and continue to suffer in open and internal ways too numerous to mention. I hope that perhaps knowing you are not alone in this will be helpful.   Aztec
Ruslan Nov 6
Then say together to me,
Of you a boy but you to need.
Then to square that a to boy,
Sink to my break what you the need.

Six months again, fair to go.
That what a need, my mather friend.
Six a a go, go motherland.
Nine teen a go, you understand.

Tall me to boy, go mather ****,
That my begin, your understand.
Then to my ****, ******* the need,
Then to my break, i love you girl.

Then to my break, you of to me,
Six motherland, its old begin.
Then to you go, nine a sixteen,
Theemy begin.

What you the need, nine off cos,
That way because, then to the rate.
I love to break, go motherland,
Six months again, what you the need.

You cos to go, six Indian,
Then a you need, it so to good.
Then people cos, you understand,
Then to my break, needed for you.

That go to boy, my Nederland,
I'm you a know, sen to my break.
Then for being, its all alright,
Sen to you screen, my Indastan.

That way begin, i love to you,
Sen my you bread, fan to you go.
Then then to me, oy to my break,
Ahhh o to you, then to go need.

Its you okay? Then call to me,
Six months again, that what to you.
Cool to you skull, sen to you need,
Then in my break, going to go.

Six months again, you to the screen,
Then go my book, its you okay.
Then by again, to you my friend,
Then to you go, to the a spring.

Come back to need, i love again,
All be be back , all to you go.
Then my in sleep, you consperate,
Then my begin, i love you screen.

Call of me boy, my dear land,
Its break again, old you are dog.
Vaf-vaf, vaf-vaf, in the the dogs,
In you o six, months off you need.

Then to my break, old you are screen,
That way begin, to my to much.
Old your screen, that way begin ,
Kinder you boys, its you okay?

That way begin, to the my much,
Six months to you, of you the need.
Then To my break, i don't to square,
Then i begin, go motherland.

My father song, all be be back,
Go Indastan, in to the break.
I dint to go, my miss of Jew,
Its my to go, then to you speak.

Of you again, need to you go,
Then my i yes, old to the boys.
Go matherland, my kiss miss ***,
Succed *******.

Then old you screen, that my begin, go Nederland, all to you go.

Give up now!
Give up now!
*** full you to go,
Mather **** to go.

Inda yalgytyp,
Men turam Turgan.
Men bulam sezge,
Men bet Tamerlan.

This is cool be back,
You a need to boy.
That's alright begin,
Indian the goy.

Tegerman vakyt,
Ul kelgan monda.
Its Tatar language,
Mill that's old you skill .

Then to go my friend ,
Its  alright to boy.
Then you people need,
In forever goy.

Thank you very much,
Thits o you to go.
Came me back to you,
Its okay my boy.

Go my Indastan,
I'm you  so long .
That my President,
Its  of you my don't .

Get way to my much,
Then to you my screen.
Second you so good,
That i du you  need .

When i President,
Second victory.
On the understand,
You a need for you.

Are go my child,
Then to you my soul.
Sent to you go ****,
That to you so lone.

Kiss my dear to me,
Go the need for you.
Kiss me bebe come,
That alright a go.

I'm Spyder man,
Bakuganga come.
Aha ha its lol,
You my friend its joke.

I you need its lol,
Vaha-ha ha-ha.
Its alright its good,
Marvel o so long.

That's of needed ****,
Its a go to need.
Its you crazy man,
I'm its old to man.

Yes i go my break,
I'm to you my screen.
That okay to you,
My to fatherland.

Its alright begin,
To Go mather break.
What you song my kiss,
In the breaking for.

You my much to boy,
Bakuganga ga-ga.
Ha-ha-ha its go,
Mather ******* soul.

Then to boy my pip,
Theni screen fax you.
So to much begin ,
Its my break again.

Fatherland to go,
iIndastan to break.
At attack to much,
That way go to you .

You under attack ,
That for you so much.
Cool be back to you,
That forever go.

Indastan to break,
Its alright a joke.
Its melee its right,
Z to go my pip.

People fon to you,
Then my President.
Its so much begin,
Altogether you.

Sen to yul bulsyn,
Allah saklasyn.
That Way go in you,
Second President .

Its forever you,
The a needed soul.
You can back to me,
Its my Nederland.

Then you go to the land,
Then to you understand.
That way go to the boy,
Its alright to forever.

Alda yul tuzelgan,
Its you need for to go.
What you screen my begin,
Its okay my darling.

That a way to you soul.

Think to my break-in, you need forever to you, think to go motherland.

— The End —