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"textbook" poems
In time you’ll recover and absolve push those scorned impressions aside hammer down the jaded edges and sing that delightful commoners song the one you sang so well in what seems a lifetime ago You really had it you know that fiery disposition and nimble cunning those butter chords and derelict style we could see it -- we could all see it it was all it took to turn the evening tide (and rile that buck fever) heads bashing tongues lambasting middle fingers high and raising Cain on those may fly statesmen There were no rules when it came to your survival no textbook rally or common bond no structured songbird or bravado stage you either made it, or laid it “life by the ***** Mr. Poppy would say a kaleidoscope of dreams with rich colored imagery hardened artisan seams in a carefully woven motif But something got lost in the needle point something sinister and distorted took hold the quirks and street genius that were your lifeline gave way to grunts and squeals and chilling night crawlers the colors faded quickly to a cold confining grey There was no grace in the new world no retribution or switch back no salvation or accorded finale only edged platforms of blackened steel that kept you cased in a silent vanquished cell shivering cold with fear night without day all in the shadow of death But time heals all and the polish sneakers and open sores are long gone (though the roman nose and shallow cleft remain) indeed the falconer beat the widow maker this go around and I’m hopeful it won’t happen again and if it does you’ll see me standing hand on heart with that old verse in hand: he ain’t tainted or silly, and most certainly not forgotten… he ain’t loony or fixed, or a product of his self-doing… he’s just a straight shootin’ guy, who had the most of it figured out
0
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 8:38 PM UTC
The Commoners Song
In time you’ll recover and absolve push those scorned impressions aside hammer down the jaded edges and sing that delightful commoners song the one you sang so well in what seems a lifetime ago You really had it you know that fiery disposition and nimble cunning those butter chords and derelict style we could see it -- we could all see it it was all it took to turn the evening tide (and rile that buck fever) heads bashing tongues lambasting middle fingers high and raising Cain on those may fly statesmen There were no rules when it came to your survival no textbook rally or common bond no structured songbird or bravado stage you either made it, or laid it “life by the ***** Mr. Poppy would say a kaleidoscope of dreams with rich colored imagery hardened artisan seams in a carefully woven motif But something got lost in the needle point something sinister and distorted took hold the quirks and street genius that were your lifeline gave way to grunts and squeals and chilling night crawlers the colors faded quickly to a cold confining grey There was no grace in the new world no retribution or switch back no salvation or accorded finale only edged platforms of blackened steel that kept you cased in a silent vanquished cell shivering cold with fear night without day all in the shadow of death But time heals all and the polish sneakers and open sores are long gone (though the roman nose and shallow cleft remain) indeed the falconer beat the widow maker this go around and I’m hopeful it won’t happen again and if it does you’ll see me standing hand on heart with that old verse in hand: he ain’t tainted or silly, and most certainly not forgotten… he ain’t loony or fixed, or a product of his self-doing… he’s just a straight shootin’ guy, who had the most of it figured out
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65
One little window in my tiny dorm room. To watch the sun rise and then sleep Makes me miss my tree house windows untoasted bagels for breakfast And a textbook for a friend-- Thomas's 12th edition One little Window. That keeps me sleeping Until noon. One little window. That keeps me so concealed. One little window That makes me miss home.
0
Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 11:24 PM UTC
Homesick
For centuries philosophers have speculated the role sleep plays in society But it was not until the 1950s that sleep woke up in academia And today sleep studies show what dormant minds really look like Information about our rest we've never seen before However, I've always understood the importance of bedtime You see my parents taught me that sleep and love are soul mates My mom She's the sleeper She loves to sleep She cuddles up on any piece of furniture in my house and snoozes for hours Never views a sitcom past the first commercial break when she's tired And she's okay with that Dad never lets her drive on road trips when night falls Preferring his sleeping beauty tucked safely in the passenger seat Their hands meet as she lets the stars serenade her to slumber While he anchors his left hand on the steering wheel Thanking his lucky stars for his real life princess My dad He's the snorer He loves to snore He roars like a lion on his love seat and naps for hours Never views a sitcom past the second commercial break when he's tired And he's okay with that Mom never lets him sleep alone too long though Keeping his nose plugged strong enough to signal for bedtime They both stand together as he lets her guide him to slumber While she ushers her left hand around his back Thanking her lucky stars for her own prince charming Now my parents call me the dreamer And I sure do love to dream It seems my parents are textbook role models for me Because when you live inside a fairytale for far too long Your reality becomes an endless stream of fantasies Your expectations are exceptionally out of context Strictly written for poetic lines in picture books Never meant to be held Never meant to be felt Only meant for spines stuck on rosewood shelves My parents call me the dreamer And boy I love to dream I believe in creating the unthinkable And when you live inside a fairytale for far too long Nothing is fictional You picture a life with storybook endings Praying the author never runs out of ink You crown each syllable the king of the moment Treating each page like royalty And I've always been okay with that So when I asked my mom when she knew she fell in love She spoke of an instant of unadulterated emotion She said she knew instantly She didn't need to sleep on it When I asked my dad when he knew he fell in love He just smiled back at me He must have known instantly He didn't even speak on it So when I ask myself when I might fall in love I can't help but smile Think of fairytale titles Mile wide love notes in all shapes and styles And a moment where my reality sets my hopes on fire And I won't need to dream about it anymore
0
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 2:35 PM UTC
Dreamer
For centuries philosophers have speculated the role sleep plays in society But it was not until the 1950s that sleep woke up in academia And today sleep studies show what dormant minds really look like Information about our rest we've never seen before However, I've always understood the importance of bedtime You see my parents taught me that sleep and love are soul mates My mom She's the sleeper She loves to sleep She cuddles up on any piece of furniture in my house and snoozes for hours Never views a sitcom past the first commercial break when she's tired And she's okay with that Dad never lets her drive on road trips when night falls Preferring his sleeping beauty tucked safely in the passenger seat Their hands meet as she lets the stars serenade her to slumber While he anchors his left hand on the steering wheel Thanking his lucky stars for his real life princess My dad He's the snorer He loves to snore He roars like a lion on his love seat and naps for hours Never views a sitcom past the second commercial break when he's tired And he's okay with that Mom never lets him sleep alone too long though Keeping his nose plugged strong enough to signal for bedtime They both stand together as he lets her guide him to slumber While she ushers her left hand around his back Thanking her lucky stars for her own prince charming Now my parents call me the dreamer And I sure do love to dream It seems my parents are textbook role models for me Because when you live inside a fairytale for far too long Your reality becomes an endless stream of fantasies Your expectations are exceptionally out of context Strictly written for poetic lines in picture books Never meant to be held Never meant to be felt Only meant for spines stuck on rosewood shelves My parents call me the dreamer And boy I love to dream I believe in creating the unthinkable And when you live inside a fairytale for far too long Nothing is fictional You picture a life with storybook endings Praying the author never runs out of ink You crown each syllable the king of the moment Treating each page like royalty And I've always been okay with that So when I asked my mom when she knew she fell in love She spoke of an instant of unadulterated emotion She said she knew instantly She didn't need to sleep on it When I asked my dad when he knew he fell in love He just smiled back at me He must have known instantly He didn't even speak on it So when I ask myself when I might fall in love I can't help but smile Think of fairytale titles Mile wide love notes in all shapes and styles And a moment where my reality sets my hopes on fire And I won't need to dream about it anymore
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62
Due tomorrow: Lab report Argumentative essay Group project 39 textbook pages I can do this. Get some coffee and caffeine Lock the door and close the windows Put on those sound-blocking earbuds FOCUS Keep in mind the future good grade.
0
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014 at 8:07 AM UTC
Determination
Follow the kick-drum of the heart to the point where it’s heard loudest. Spend ten thousand hours on the lungs: Read the textbook on what fills us. Dedicate a white board to what makes us collapse. Hold the bell lightly to differentiate your own pulse from another’s. Then drink, and dance, and pray, to relearn that they’re the same.
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Oct 22, 2017
Oct 22, 2017 at 9:35 PM UTC
What a stethoscope teaches
I. Sexuality (textbook definition) - capacity for ****** feelings. II. Sexuality (urban dictionary) - having been born liking either males or females. Sexuality encompasses being gay, bi, straight, lesbian, *********** or transgendered. Sexuality is the drive designed in humans to what they are attracted to. Most people mistake the word lifestyle for sexuality which is why there is ignorance in our country. III. Sexuality (to homophobes) - a sin unless you like your opposite gender. No exploring your sexuality before marriage. If your sexuality is anything but straight you're going to hell. What is sexuality when you develop a sexuality before you even know what *** is? How is something a sin when it's developed before you reach kindergarten? I knew I liked girls before I knew how read. How did I choose to be gay when I have no recolation of ever making that decision? So the question I come to ask myself is what, I rather how is sexuality?
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Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 1:19 PM UTC
What is sexuality?
////March 20 2014 ///// Fainting spells are more common when I'm trying to memorize how ****** got into power Sighing is more common when I'm trying to learn the art of polynomials crying is more common when I have two tests tomorrow and I still need to start that essay that was given yesterday madness is when I have to understand that my sadness is a genetic disposition I could never control Disappointment is more common when I have to yet again cancel the plans I made with my friends But still even after a week of doing this **** the only thing I learned is that knowledge isn't found in a textbook and a power point presentation
0
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 8:05 PM UTC
Education
People may tell you to not cry... I won't because I know the difference. They think they know when in fact they lie... I say bury yourself in the deepest of detriments. They may say that a new day will come... They only spout what they can't comprehend. They forget that you are ailing from a broken heart and that you're not dumb. There's only you in your space, alone you stand... Textbook responses are all they can offer... They know not that it'll only make things worse... There can be no replies so nice and proper. To rid you of your life, your plight, your curse. They may even share personal events that they think familiar. Thinking what worked for them may work for you. But no two situations are the same, albeit looking quite similar. At the end of the day, you only owe it to yourself to pull yourself through. I say feed your pain, grieve hard if you must Wallow... Dwell... Drown yourself everyday. Let your blood sear your insides, beneath your crumbling crust. Let the world around you descend into destruction and decay. What made me the expert... To say these horrid, putrid things. Because I am you and we both lay in the dirt. Driven mad by the persistent echoes of our own misgivings. I'm no expert... I am just a broken man. Telling you to let yourself be caught in your own sad and angry song. Be weak... Be as weak as you possibly can... So you could rise from the ashes and emerge hale and strong.
0
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 8:53 AM UTC
Advice
Love is love, And details don't matter. Love is caring, And kind, And affectionate. It doesn't matter what the circumstances. A man and a woman, Two men, Two women, A black person and a white person, A Mexican and Italian. A Christian and a Jew. An Atheist and Buddhist. One who's 17 and one who's 22. All of these are love. I don't care what you say, Or what your textbook definition of love is. Nothing you say can change my mind. Love is beautiful. Now shut your mouth, And stop the hate.
0
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 10:13 AM UTC
Love IS Love
Buwan ng puso nung una kitang makilala Chinat mo ako at nireplayan naman kita Hanggang sa araw-araw, tuwing umaga Kausap na kita bago pumasok sa eskuwela Simula nun di ko na natiis na hindi mag-facebook Imbis na inaatupag ko dapat yung aking mga textbook Hanggang sa one day, naramdaman ko na merong kakaiba Then narealize ko nalang---shet ! gusto na kita Dun ko nabigyan ng kasagutan Lahat ng nasa isip kong mga katanungan Kung bakit kapag nakikita ka Gusto kong lumundag sa saya Sa tuwing kausap kita May kakaiba akong nadarama At kung bakit nga ba? Madalas, oo madalas na naiisip kita. Kaya tinago ko lahat sa yo At palihim na sumisilay sa labas ng room nyo Pero ng malaman mo lahat ng to Parang gumuho ang mundo ko Oo gumuho ang mundo ko! Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin Mananahimik na lang ba o aamin? Kaya mas pinili ko nalang na sabihin. Pero shet! yun yung masakit sa damdamin New year's eve pa nun nung sinabi mo sakin May gusto kang iba Ang masaklap dun? Yung BESTFRIEND ko pa Yung bagong taon imbis na bagong buhay Sinalubong ako ng sama ng loob at mga lumbay Dun ko na realize na ang tanga ko Para mahulog ako sa isang kagaya mo Kung gusto mo sya, ano pa bang laban ko? Sa mga ganyang bagay, kelan ba ko nanalo? Hanggang ngayon, alam mo ba? Nag sisisi pa rin ako Kung bakit hinayaan kong mafall ako sayo Kaya maalas kapag nagkakasalubong tayo Umiiwas agad ako. Umiiwas ako. Kasi feeling ko awkward na masyado Kaya nga siguro madalas **** tinatanong sakin Kung bakit di kita pinapansin Sorry pero ayoko nang isipin pa Ayoko nang umasa pa Na pagdating ng panahon may tayong dalawa pa Pero alam mo ba? Alam mo bang gusto kobg sabihin na kamusta ka? Okay ka lang ba? Sana maayos ka. Kumain ka na ba? Wag kang magpapagutom huh? Maayos ba tulog mo kagabi? Hinihiling ko yan araw-araw, gabi-gabi Pero hanggang dun lang ako. Hanggang dun lang ako Kasi nga diba? Nakuha na ng iba Yung susi ng puso mo Kaya hanggang hiling nalang ako. Hanggang hiling nalang ako Na sana isang araw, kumustahin mo rin ako. Sana isang araw, alamin mo kung kumain na ba ako O kung naging maayos ba ang tulog ko. Sana kahit minsan maisip mo rin ako. Hindi na yung sya nalang lagi yung nasa utak mo!! Sana isang araw maramdaman mo Na may isang taong nandito lang lagi para sayo. Handang maging takbuhan mo, Hangdang maging karamay sa bawat problema mo. Sana isang araw, malaman mo, Na may isang taong nagmamahal sa yo, Kahit na iba yung laman ng puso mo. Sana malaman mo na nandito lang ako . Maghihintay sayo. Handang magsakripisyo kung kailangan mo. Kahit na kaibigan lang yung turing mo. Masakit man pero Kailangang tanggapin ko. Kasi nga diba! ONE SIDED LOVE lang naman Ang love story na to.
0
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 5:51 AM UTC
O.S.L. (spoken word poetry)
Buwan ng puso nung una kitang makilala Chinat mo ako at nireplayan naman kita Hanggang sa araw-araw, tuwing umaga Kausap na kita bago pumasok sa eskuwela Simula nun di ko na natiis na hindi mag-facebook Imbis na inaatupag ko dapat yung aking mga textbook Hanggang sa one day, naramdaman ko na merong kakaiba Then narealize ko nalang---shet ! gusto na kita Dun ko nabigyan ng kasagutan Lahat ng nasa isip kong mga katanungan Kung bakit kapag nakikita ka Gusto kong lumundag sa saya Sa tuwing kausap kita May kakaiba akong nadarama At kung bakit nga ba? Madalas, oo madalas na naiisip kita. Kaya tinago ko lahat sa yo At palihim na sumisilay sa labas ng room nyo Pero ng malaman mo lahat ng to Parang gumuho ang mundo ko Oo gumuho ang mundo ko! Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin Mananahimik na lang ba o aamin? Kaya mas pinili ko nalang na sabihin. Pero shet! yun yung masakit sa damdamin New year's eve pa nun nung sinabi mo sakin May gusto kang iba Ang masaklap dun? Yung BESTFRIEND ko pa Yung bagong taon imbis na bagong buhay Sinalubong ako ng sama ng loob at mga lumbay Dun ko na realize na ang tanga ko Para mahulog ako sa isang kagaya mo Kung gusto mo sya, ano pa bang laban ko? Sa mga ganyang bagay, kelan ba ko nanalo? Hanggang ngayon, alam mo ba? Nag sisisi pa rin ako Kung bakit hinayaan kong mafall ako sayo Kaya maalas kapag nagkakasalubong tayo Umiiwas agad ako. Umiiwas ako. Kasi feeling ko awkward na masyado Kaya nga siguro madalas **** tinatanong sakin Kung bakit di kita pinapansin Sorry pero ayoko nang isipin pa Ayoko nang umasa pa Na pagdating ng panahon may tayong dalawa pa Pero alam mo ba? Alam mo bang gusto kobg sabihin na kamusta ka? Okay ka lang ba? Sana maayos ka. Kumain ka na ba? Wag kang magpapagutom huh? Maayos ba tulog mo kagabi? Hinihiling ko yan araw-araw, gabi-gabi Pero hanggang dun lang ako. Hanggang dun lang ako Kasi nga diba? Nakuha na ng iba Yung susi ng puso mo Kaya hanggang hiling nalang ako. Hanggang hiling nalang ako Na sana isang araw, kumustahin mo rin ako. Sana isang araw, alamin mo kung kumain na ba ako O kung naging maayos ba ang tulog ko. Sana kahit minsan maisip mo rin ako. Hindi na yung sya nalang lagi yung nasa utak mo!! Sana isang araw maramdaman mo Na may isang taong nandito lang lagi para sayo. Handang maging takbuhan mo, Hangdang maging karamay sa bawat problema mo. Sana isang araw, malaman mo, Na may isang taong nagmamahal sa yo, Kahit na iba yung laman ng puso mo. Sana malaman mo na nandito lang ako . Maghihintay sayo. Handang magsakripisyo kung kailangan mo. Kahit na kaibigan lang yung turing mo. Masakit man pero Kailangang tanggapin ko. Kasi nga diba! ONE SIDED LOVE lang naman Ang love story na to.
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92
Hey I’m sorry if I interrupted your class with text messages because you hate putting your phone on silent it’s just that I should be there with you laughing at your confused faces during Calculus I and staring at your look of sheer concentration during Creative Writing You were always the poet, not me But it’s 1pm and I’m stuck in Calculus with someone else as my partner who doesn't get nearly as confused as you and puts me to shame which ****** me off because you would never correct me in Calculus and so I can’t help but wonder who your new partner is Is she smarter Is she funnier Do you quote Shakespeare to her like you did to me? Is she better than me? There’s no doubt that a. I ******* it all up and that b. you’ll move on from me because you were always the popular one, I was the antisocial outcast that most people barely tolerated For some unknown reason you decided to become my friend that faithful day in Calculus I and ever since then you became my 3am conversations and midnight laugh I depended on you much more than you did on me I cared so much more and maybe that was my fatal flaw because if I hadn't cared so much then maybe I wouldn't feel like screaming and throwing my partner’s textbook at the teacher but I did I cared too much; against all warnings not to and now I’m wrecked then again, I always was in a way I just didn't know it You told me that it didn't matter that they couldn't separate us; no matter what that you would never let me go and you kept your promise but I can’t keep mine The words “I’m sorry” come to my head but those aren't the right words because I’m more than sorry I’m bleeding I’m crying I’m devastated I’m torn I’m broken and perhaps that’s why I can’t keep my Okay?Okay promise to you because no, I am not okay and you deserve so much more and this is not okay me lying to you through a computer screen is not okay me putting my gashes of regret on my arm is not okay me making you wait only for you to find a fraction of the girl I was is not okay and that is why today during Calculus I I will finish this ****** poem and excuse myself and go to the girls’ bathroom and cry my eyes out after sending this to you I should end this with a ‘goodbye’ because there’s no use giving you false hope but I can’t bring myself to end there so I’ll just say something and hope that you still remember what it means P.S. I’ll always love you (h.l.)
0
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 6:52 PM UTC
Calculus I
Hey I’m sorry if I interrupted your class with text messages because you hate putting your phone on silent it’s just that I should be there with you laughing at your confused faces during Calculus I and staring at your look of sheer concentration during Creative Writing You were always the poet, not me But it’s 1pm and I’m stuck in Calculus with someone else as my partner who doesn't get nearly as confused as you and puts me to shame which ****** me off because you would never correct me in Calculus and so I can’t help but wonder who your new partner is Is she smarter Is she funnier Do you quote Shakespeare to her like you did to me? Is she better than me? There’s no doubt that a. I ******* it all up and that b. you’ll move on from me because you were always the popular one, I was the antisocial outcast that most people barely tolerated For some unknown reason you decided to become my friend that faithful day in Calculus I and ever since then you became my 3am conversations and midnight laugh I depended on you much more than you did on me I cared so much more and maybe that was my fatal flaw because if I hadn't cared so much then maybe I wouldn't feel like screaming and throwing my partner’s textbook at the teacher but I did I cared too much; against all warnings not to and now I’m wrecked then again, I always was in a way I just didn't know it You told me that it didn't matter that they couldn't separate us; no matter what that you would never let me go and you kept your promise but I can’t keep mine The words “I’m sorry” come to my head but those aren't the right words because I’m more than sorry I’m bleeding I’m crying I’m devastated I’m torn I’m broken and perhaps that’s why I can’t keep my Okay?Okay promise to you because no, I am not okay and you deserve so much more and this is not okay me lying to you through a computer screen is not okay me putting my gashes of regret on my arm is not okay me making you wait only for you to find a fraction of the girl I was is not okay and that is why today during Calculus I I will finish this ****** poem and excuse myself and go to the girls’ bathroom and cry my eyes out after sending this to you I should end this with a ‘goodbye’ because there’s no use giving you false hope but I can’t bring myself to end there so I’ll just say something and hope that you still remember what it means P.S. I’ll always love you (h.l.)
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68
To the man who made me who I am Being with you was like learning without a textbook I just watched and copied and made it my own From gardening to maths You made me my own genius I didn't have to speak for you to know what was wrong You didn't judge me for the silly things I said Or how I never learnt at school You taught me to teach my self You were my Mr Miyagi With less riddles more jokes I learnt that laughter can flood rooms like tidal waves And we were leaves to float in it And now you're gone I wont mourn You would tell me to stop crying and cut my hair I will use laughter to put a smile on raggedy dolls And the stories to keep the dark days down Thank you for being the Godfather of giggles Making Sunday dinners not the day to fear Mondays Having gardening not be a chore but a way to think Rest well Granddad.
0
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 8:05 PM UTC
Godfather Of Giggles
Staring across the bar, it was love at first sight - eyes so wide- I think I gave her a fright She thought it was a *** look thought she could read me like a textbook wary of my advance refusing me a chance avoiding my glance I put down my glass and, in a stance weakened by my lovestruck trance, simply asked for a dance
0
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 1:53 AM UTC
The Dance
my intelligence is not defined by a number, nor a letter. nor should I be graded on a curve by people who don’t know me. What does knowing the pythagorean theorem have to do with me being a good person? what will memorizing words on a page help me with my rage raging about how education has become this conveyor belt chewing up and spitting out society’s warped up idea of intelligence. Throw me in a classroom with twenty-something students just to tell me I’m better than him but not as smart as her teachers saturating our brains with force fed textbook equations telling us this is what we have to know to make it “make it on time”, they say “Passing it in late is not okay” but when I am eventually thrown out of this conveyor belt of education the realization will be that life does not have a set schedule. my life will not change on time, as you ask I cannot cram my creativity onto a five-paragraph piece of paper. I cannot crunch my knowledge down onto six pages about who I am Don’t give me guidelines my future does not have guidelines you think you’re teaching us information but in reality, you’re teaching us around the system of how to get a passing grade but not the exceeding knowledge knowledge about what? Our history? what about our future? We can’t learn about our future by staring at a blackboard in a dim-lit room with twenty-something other people wondering what the hell we’re doing here but being too scared to stand up and ask.
0
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM UTC
Intelligence
my intelligence is not defined by a number, nor a letter. nor should I be graded on a curve by people who don’t know me. What does knowing the pythagorean theorem have to do with me being a good person? what will memorizing words on a page help me with my rage raging about how education has become this conveyor belt chewing up and spitting out society’s warped up idea of intelligence. Throw me in a classroom with twenty-something students just to tell me I’m better than him but not as smart as her teachers saturating our brains with force fed textbook equations telling us this is what we have to know to make it “make it on time”, they say “Passing it in late is not okay” but when I am eventually thrown out of this conveyor belt of education the realization will be that life does not have a set schedule. my life will not change on time, as you ask I cannot cram my creativity onto a five-paragraph piece of paper. I cannot crunch my knowledge down onto six pages about who I am Don’t give me guidelines my future does not have guidelines you think you’re teaching us information but in reality, you’re teaching us around the system of how to get a passing grade but not the exceeding knowledge knowledge about what? Our history? what about our future? We can’t learn about our future by staring at a blackboard in a dim-lit room with twenty-something other people wondering what the hell we’re doing here but being too scared to stand up and ask.
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46
Assignment after assignment 10, no 12, for math 2 lessons for English 2 movies and a sheet of questions for each for journalism 1 weekly question and 1 lesson for biology A lesson and questions about textbook pages for Spanish A workout log for P.E. 1 nonfiction piece and 10-15 poems for creative writing All due when? By the end of the week for math By the end of the week for English By the end of the week for journalism By the end of the week for biology By the end of the week for Spanish By yesterday for the nonfiction piece for Creative Writing And who knows when for those poems for Creative writing Get the grades up Get the grades up No matter what the cost No matter what the pain And get the chores done At least 4 a day Write down everything you do along the line Timecards, what's next? Shower, time it just right Work around the other people Don't mess around Waste away Obey Get the grades up Get the grades up No matter what Don't be dreamy and strut Smack you to the ground Get down from the clouds Back to reality Straight As only Nothing less Everything more Or who knows what's going out the door Maybe something you love Maybe your sanity Get the grades up Keep your head up Don't slip up Keep your head up Smile on, smiles on! Don't argue, they always win It creeps beneath your skin Make it stay there Bite your tongue Until it bleeds No matter what the cost Remember? It's all in your head, of course, Besides the grades, THOSE ARE REAL There's no making a deal Get the grades up Get the grades up Straight As and nothing less Nothing left either, until you're a horrid mess Just Scattered. - Jay M May 6th, 2020
0
May 6, 2020
May 6, 2020 at 10:36 PM UTC
Listen And Obey
Assignment after assignment 10, no 12, for math 2 lessons for English 2 movies and a sheet of questions for each for journalism 1 weekly question and 1 lesson for biology A lesson and questions about textbook pages for Spanish A workout log for P.E. 1 nonfiction piece and 10-15 poems for creative writing All due when? By the end of the week for math By the end of the week for English By the end of the week for journalism By the end of the week for biology By the end of the week for Spanish By yesterday for the nonfiction piece for Creative Writing And who knows when for those poems for Creative writing Get the grades up Get the grades up No matter what the cost No matter what the pain And get the chores done At least 4 a day Write down everything you do along the line Timecards, what's next? Shower, time it just right Work around the other people Don't mess around Waste away Obey Get the grades up Get the grades up No matter what Don't be dreamy and strut Smack you to the ground Get down from the clouds Back to reality Straight As only Nothing less Everything more Or who knows what's going out the door Maybe something you love Maybe your sanity Get the grades up Keep your head up Don't slip up Keep your head up Smile on, smiles on! Don't argue, they always win It creeps beneath your skin Make it stay there Bite your tongue Until it bleeds No matter what the cost Remember? It's all in your head, of course, Besides the grades, THOSE ARE REAL There's no making a deal Get the grades up Get the grades up Straight As and nothing less Nothing left either, until you're a horrid mess Just Scattered. - Jay M May 6th, 2020
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65
the body of this poem is about two bodies, sometimes poetic things are ***** and sometimes ***** things are poetic things under the dirt of what i'd been taught my whole life about my virginity. i was told that if i lost it i wouldnt be able to find it again. i was not told about a boy, tall and skinny and blonde, blue-gray eyes, i was not told that i would kiss him, i was not told that my kiss would be his first. i didnt know at the time that summer would collapse into one moment, i could never have guessed that two crazy transgender boys could coincide with virginity as strongly as we pressed our bodies together. i was fourteen years old and my body was a choppy pencil sketch of anorexia and rib damage, of breast tissue and scar tissue, of anxiety and hipbones. he was fifteen years old and to me he was beautiful, everything strange and weird in our brains was erased and forgotten, fogged up with our heavy breathing. i am wrapped up in firsts and lasts and the first time was not entirely the world-shattering that it was built up to be, we were built up, and then i forget why we stopped. but we stopped. but we stopped being far apart and afraid to tell each other how close we wished we were. we learned how to commit heavy sins, the kind that make you feel good. we learned that our relationship is textbook unhealthy, but unhealthy people means unhealthy partners means unhealthy- means **** off, we are trying our best and **** you, this is what love means. this tangle of fingers. we learned that we have to not only have secrets but become them. we didnt have to be taught what it feels like to need someone. we didnt need to learn how it tastes to be absolutely sure of something. my entire life i was taught that i should save myself for a man, but instead i let go of myself and loved a boy.
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Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
Virginity
the body of this poem is about two bodies, sometimes poetic things are ***** and sometimes ***** things are poetic things under the dirt of what i'd been taught my whole life about my virginity. i was told that if i lost it i wouldnt be able to find it again. i was not told about a boy, tall and skinny and blonde, blue-gray eyes, i was not told that i would kiss him, i was not told that my kiss would be his first. i didnt know at the time that summer would collapse into one moment, i could never have guessed that two crazy transgender boys could coincide with virginity as strongly as we pressed our bodies together. i was fourteen years old and my body was a choppy pencil sketch of anorexia and rib damage, of breast tissue and scar tissue, of anxiety and hipbones. he was fifteen years old and to me he was beautiful, everything strange and weird in our brains was erased and forgotten, fogged up with our heavy breathing. i am wrapped up in firsts and lasts and the first time was not entirely the world-shattering that it was built up to be, we were built up, and then i forget why we stopped. but we stopped. but we stopped being far apart and afraid to tell each other how close we wished we were. we learned how to commit heavy sins, the kind that make you feel good. we learned that our relationship is textbook unhealthy, but unhealthy people means unhealthy partners means unhealthy- means **** off, we are trying our best and **** you, this is what love means. this tangle of fingers. we learned that we have to not only have secrets but become them. we didnt have to be taught what it feels like to need someone. we didnt need to learn how it tastes to be absolutely sure of something. my entire life i was taught that i should save myself for a man, but instead i let go of myself and loved a boy.
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2
Anxiety has taught me that the large blue doors at the entrance to the next four years of my life are there to keep me in more than to keep others out That the best way to keep the students with no future away from the students with one is to create advanced classes that will determine whether a college will allow you entrance without a doubt Anxiety taught me what it's like to hold back tears And how to freak the guy next to you out because he's never had to handle a girl crying and being dependent upon and not being able to provide is one of his greatest fears Anxiety taught me that "it's not just one quiz it's the rest of your life!" That you must work hard in school and get into college and get a good job and make money and these are the only ways to become someone's wife That seeing your fears of not being good enough becoming true in the eyes of the only one you love and that it feels like your heart has been stabbed at by a knife Or when you're sick and throwing up but you have a paper due in 3 hours and it's either sleep or finish the paragraph who's sentences will probably end up slurred Anxiety taught me that time is not your friend That it will not be there when the fate of the rest of your life is hanging on 10 more words to reach the 500 word limit Anxiety has taught me that no matter how many assignments you complete you’ll never get rid of this weight on your chest That you have to keep working until there's no more time to rest That you can do problems 1-50 in your textbook and it'll teach you the material but not how to take a test That no matter how many hours you study you will not perform your best Anxiety taught me what it's like to put all of your eggs in one basket. One human shaped basket that isn't always around and won't be awake at 2 in the morning because he has an 8 AM and needs his sleep But when he doesn't have an assignment going to bed early is one of the many promises he cannot keep Anxiety taught me what a social barrier is A beer covered barrier that reminds you that all he's going to want to do this summer is drink because that's all he's done the last 8 months and you haven't been there And that you don't like the taste of alcohol much and he knows that but he'll still hand you a shot out of nowhere That you can feel yourself getting drunker and drunker and that terrifies you and he knows that but he no longer seems to care Anxiety is more than being nervous before you ask someone to prom anxiety is more than feeling helpless when your parents don't get along Anxiety is being the hero and failing Anxiety is being afraid of heights and knowing you'll have to fall every single day
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Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 12:14 AM UTC
Anxiety
Anxiety has taught me that the large blue doors at the entrance to the next four years of my life are there to keep me in more than to keep others out That the best way to keep the students with no future away from the students with one is to create advanced classes that will determine whether a college will allow you entrance without a doubt Anxiety taught me what it's like to hold back tears And how to freak the guy next to you out because he's never had to handle a girl crying and being dependent upon and not being able to provide is one of his greatest fears Anxiety taught me that "it's not just one quiz it's the rest of your life!" That you must work hard in school and get into college and get a good job and make money and these are the only ways to become someone's wife That seeing your fears of not being good enough becoming true in the eyes of the only one you love and that it feels like your heart has been stabbed at by a knife Or when you're sick and throwing up but you have a paper due in 3 hours and it's either sleep or finish the paragraph who's sentences will probably end up slurred Anxiety taught me that time is not your friend That it will not be there when the fate of the rest of your life is hanging on 10 more words to reach the 500 word limit Anxiety has taught me that no matter how many assignments you complete you’ll never get rid of this weight on your chest That you have to keep working until there's no more time to rest That you can do problems 1-50 in your textbook and it'll teach you the material but not how to take a test That no matter how many hours you study you will not perform your best Anxiety taught me what it's like to put all of your eggs in one basket. One human shaped basket that isn't always around and won't be awake at 2 in the morning because he has an 8 AM and needs his sleep But when he doesn't have an assignment going to bed early is one of the many promises he cannot keep Anxiety taught me what a social barrier is A beer covered barrier that reminds you that all he's going to want to do this summer is drink because that's all he's done the last 8 months and you haven't been there And that you don't like the taste of alcohol much and he knows that but he'll still hand you a shot out of nowhere That you can feel yourself getting drunker and drunker and that terrifies you and he knows that but he no longer seems to care Anxiety is more than being nervous before you ask someone to prom anxiety is more than feeling helpless when your parents don't get along Anxiety is being the hero and failing Anxiety is being afraid of heights and knowing you'll have to fall every single day
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25
Remember when We took a daycation? Waterfalls For days. Milk bottle Sepia vinyl. Ice cream and Truck drivers. Ballerina buns and Bare necks. Waterfalls For days. Oblivion, the Falling leaves. Backseat Views. Gravel paths, we Walked. Waterfalls For days. Blue, blue Skies. Crystal Springs. Damp red Leaves. Waterfalls For days. Apples Were just in season. Photos Wagging tails. Honey tea Quilted snuggles. Waterfalls For days. Maybe it was Just a dream. Next thing I knew. I was throwing A textbook at the wall. Waterfalls For days. I was Okay. I swear, for One day. I was Myself again. Waterfalls For days. Remember when We took a daycation?
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Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 7:00 PM UTC
Daycation
On the face of it, there isn't much about this bird To stop me in my tracks.              Brown, oblivious, busy with the ground It totters along on stilted legs Probing among the frozen fields. It's the name that's the trouble. Childhood hours spent copying pictures From the Readers' Digest Book of Birds Call to mind the name, 'Curlew'. In my house, though, birds had Scots names and my dad, a linguistic David Bellamy Urged us to conserve these rare words or lose them forever. Goldfinch?  Gowdspink! Starling?  Stuckie! Blue ***  Umm... But the undistinguished gentleman before me was definitely a whaup. Curlew or whaup? Which is it to me? The English of books or the fading Scots, maybe closer to the bird's wild home? Textbook reality or romantic poetry? Or both - can the creature sit in two states at once? "Schrodinger's Curlew", I think with a smile. ("Schrodinger's Whaup!" bellows the bit of my dad that lodges in my head.)            Here, under a cloud of my own breath In the low winter light,             Neither seems quite adequate. And then, untouched by my musings The bird spreads its wings and lifts, Naming itself, with a long, pure note           And my heart, in two states,            Leaps              and breaks.
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Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010 at 12:03 AM UTC
Schrodinger's Curlew
Little girl in a blue snow globe. Pressed white shirt and tartan skirt. Hair slipping out of a ponytail or braid or something like that. Laughter like a current to be lost in by a boatman. Her first time at the beach. Writing childish saltwater sonnets in the sand with her toes. Paper-plane sky kisses sea brimming out of its seams. Singing, on-off key, school choir tone, 'Never Let Me Go'. Who needs, she needs nothing but the horizon cupped in outstretched palms. Innocence stored in jagged-shiny shells waiting to be buried in hot, bare sand. Time comes to shore, oceans grow warmer, shallow. No more of kid braids but a woman in azure. Her whole life having been a half-moon run out of deep, dry wells in search of, in search of... in search of what, but hope. Cracking oyster shells looking for pearls. Time again comes to shore. Cigarette pants for tartan skirt, in a blue-almost-black. Staring out at water lapping before her, before her, after the sky. Before, after. The horizon is a pretty picture she wants to hang on the wall of her heart. But she, schoolgirl trapped in snow globe, remembers textbook phrases like 'Humans are made up of 75% water.' So we are drowning every moment, she thinks dryly. Water within, inevitable. Maybe her skin or nerves or vocal cords sensed it all those years ago in the schoolgirl's snow globe. Like crying, like love, like fearing, like dying. Shifting, receding, flowing in and out. Could emotions be tides she dares, dares not row, row, row through? Where did it all leak away? Was it in the salt running down her face? If she is 75% water, where has it drained to leave the heart parched, and her tartan days a distant drought of memory? Snow globe melts away. Wade in, wade in, have your fill, until skin is slick with better pain. You told the ocean years ago, you sang in schoolgirl choir tones, never, never, never let me go. Now it never will.
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Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 1:34 PM UTC
Seaside
Little girl in a blue snow globe. Pressed white shirt and tartan skirt. Hair slipping out of a ponytail or braid or something like that. Laughter like a current to be lost in by a boatman. Her first time at the beach. Writing childish saltwater sonnets in the sand with her toes. Paper-plane sky kisses sea brimming out of its seams. Singing, on-off key, school choir tone, 'Never Let Me Go'. Who needs, she needs nothing but the horizon cupped in outstretched palms. Innocence stored in jagged-shiny shells waiting to be buried in hot, bare sand. Time comes to shore, oceans grow warmer, shallow. No more of kid braids but a woman in azure. Her whole life having been a half-moon run out of deep, dry wells in search of, in search of... in search of what, but hope. Cracking oyster shells looking for pearls. Time again comes to shore. Cigarette pants for tartan skirt, in a blue-almost-black. Staring out at water lapping before her, before her, after the sky. Before, after. The horizon is a pretty picture she wants to hang on the wall of her heart. But she, schoolgirl trapped in snow globe, remembers textbook phrases like 'Humans are made up of 75% water.' So we are drowning every moment, she thinks dryly. Water within, inevitable. Maybe her skin or nerves or vocal cords sensed it all those years ago in the schoolgirl's snow globe. Like crying, like love, like fearing, like dying. Shifting, receding, flowing in and out. Could emotions be tides she dares, dares not row, row, row through? Where did it all leak away? Was it in the salt running down her face? If she is 75% water, where has it drained to leave the heart parched, and her tartan days a distant drought of memory? Snow globe melts away. Wade in, wade in, have your fill, until skin is slick with better pain. You told the ocean years ago, you sang in schoolgirl choir tones, never, never, never let me go. Now it never will.
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97
I look out at the light red filling in my eyes with Indica rising I look like I Am a textbook stoner preparing for the test by reading all the answers there is no question left except the meaning of life which I might well express except again, I thought up another good question again I realize that I don't know for sure where my pipe is. It's about this big. Like between the size of an index finger and a ***** I know that's vague because I didn't specify yours or mine --But my ***** is twenty inches long and a device that long would probably be a water pipe. (I don't want to get arrested) Obama's listening, oh and I don't own one, oh seriously, did you see where I put that ******* thing?
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Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
Summer Shudder: "No Cash Monday"
I hate woodstock I hate the whole mainstream counterculture why embrace something as alternative when society itself is evolving to be just that? I almost desire to be the textbook, cookie-cut worker drone family man but I figure, I'll push in a different direction than anyone I know most writers are bullshitters anyway especially the best ones-- I could imagine Sartre before fans, promising a world he couldn't provide I think all writers at their core, are idealists dreamers when that ceases, they can no longer write or turn to nonfiction
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Oct 24, 2010
Oct 24, 2010 at 1:25 PM UTC
I hate woodstock
Get in the ring Wait for the ding Cause when that bell rings It ain’t time to sing It’s time to fight It don’t matter if he’s double your height And his jab bites You ain’t a knight you the king throws a right hook But you ain't a rook This is textbook Return with the cross Cause you're the boss you took round one but you ain't done you won't run this is your moment you ain't broken you're just not well spoken there's that bell ring you better bring the best that you can cause you ain't the rest this is the test and if you're the best then you bring home the belt cause you won't melt he's on the ropes and he hopes that you make a mistake but this is a piece of cake then he throws a combination that would shock a nation jab jab hook hook cross so know to take a loss cause you ain't rocky you were just too cocky
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Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 7:43 PM UTC
the life of a fighter
In my Prada purse, I carry my heavy medical textbook I carry an extra tube of my MAC lipstick in Russian Red I carry a comb My ID A clear nail polish topcoat And a bottle of eye drops that I avoid using because it makes my mascara run. In my wholesome home, I have glossy tiled bathrooms Pristine, crisp, snow white curtains Organic, citrus scented cleansers Granite counter tops And large mahogany desks. In my hollow heart I cradle my worries of a straying spouse, My anger towards the anonymous administrator My notions of a sneaky baba My choking OCD My crippling debt to a vile man And the breaking weight of having to shield my children from all that goes on behind locked doors.
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Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 1:13 PM UTC
Heavy
I think of You when I brush my teeth and comb my hair. You used to dust off your boyfriends just as fast yet Your hand still shakes less than mine. The pact I made in eighth grade only destroyed one of us; we were only trying to shake off the insults of elementary school. My scars still laugh at me from under my slacks, while You strut in bikinis during the summer months. It all is based on what they say, but not what I bother to tell them I feel. I will tell You; that my heart has been asleep for two centuries, my soul spends starless nights awake wishing for deeper meaning, my hands were caught replacing my Bible with my books of Byron and Bukowski the taste of pumpkin coffee rattles in my mouth and my voice has taken a vacation to the tropics while my skin sighs tears it does not possess. my heart is weeping for the one I cannot see and my chin trembles more than three times a week. Yet when I chew on my rosemary leaves, I will remember how You threw my things to the carpet. I will remember how You meant it when you kissed me and I will remember when You borrowed my romper, two sizes too big, and worked it harder than that psychology textbook You so despise. And I will remember the moment I knew I loved You.
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Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 5:04 PM UTC
Byron and Bukowski