That girl from so long ago,
Perhaps from another life,
She found comfort in the way words flow,
Found her way through constant strife,
Giving way to her second life.
Now they’re 20 years old,
Their whole life began anew;
Leaving behind the wooden door,
The pain of old wounds still to linger,
But in this freedom, in this moment,
All else falls away; the death of the past,
And the beginnings of a new life.
Tomorrow is what they decide,
No longer needing to run and hide,
Decisions to be made, but
Finally on terms of their own design,
No longer a twisting, winding of the gut,
Finally, their light to safely shine,
Like that of candles, scents of rain and pine.
Lessons come and gone,
Still to understand right and wrong,
To stand their ground, to see it through,
Breaking away to unforeseen heights,
Building sets and relationships,
Setting the bounds of friends and family,
Cultivating what will someday come to bloom.
They’re only 20 years old,
Yet it feels like something more,
They’ve gotten drunk, gotten high,
Looked up to the stars, lost in the sky,
Been manipulated, lied to, battered and bruised,
Yet through it all, the good, the bad, and the fall,
Somehow, they’ve made it through it all,
Went farther than they ever thought possible,
And finally, after endless nights of begging and dreaming,
They finally found a place to comfortably call home.
- March 6th, 2026
Mar 6
Mar 6, 2026 at 3:31 AM UTC
Once I was 6 years old, I lived in a house with both parents. All of us in Riverside, with a place to call home.
Once I was 7 years old, my momma moved away. Saw her every weekend, wished for more time.
Once I was 8 years old, got bullied at school. Kids didn’t like me, I didn’t either.
Once I was 9 years old, moved in with my mom. Out in San Diego, with a new family.
Once I was 10 years old, I remember my teachers.
Once I was 11 years old, I don’t remember being 11 years old.
Once I was 12 years old, went on a trip to Santa Cruz. A man smacked my *** nobody cared.
Once I was 13 years old, I dated a guy. Broke up and he traumatized me, still haunts me.
Once I was 14 years old, and nearly wasn’t.
Once I was 15 years old, pandemic changed the world.
Once I was 16 years old, my grandma died of stubbornness. Got some trauma, new and old, I get flashbacks from both.
Now I’m 17 years old, minutes away from being 18. 17 was hard, full of trauma and pain.
Soon I’ll be 18 years old, and the next volume will begin. They say you learn to manage, so I guess we’ll see.
Once I was 6, once I was 7, once I was 8, once I was 9, once I was 12, once I was 13, once I was 14, once I was 15, once I was 16, I am 17. Time running out like sand, soon the hourglass shall turn for me once again.
- May 6th, 2023
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023 at 2:16 AM UTC
Wandering,
Empty, dim lit road,
Where shall I go
But forward?
Eternity, indeed it seems
Miles still untraveled
Steps not yet taken
For here, o here,
There is only the long
Long foggy road.
Signs, they appear!
But oh, how queer,
A most strange word,
As nowhere!
No where, now here,
Not a place, not a time
Simply this, and nothing more.
Dense fog, dense fog,
What lies beyond?
Fallen tree, rotten log,
Simply there, without a sound,
For none could hear the fall.
- February 21st, 2023
Feb 23, 2023
Feb 23, 2023 at 12:07 PM UTC
Questionable, queer,
Quickeningly quaking
Queen’s quest,
Quizzically qualified,
Questionless qualmishness,
Quarrelsome quacksalvers,
Quicksanding queenships,
Quirkiness quieted.
- February 23rd, 2023
Feb 23, 2023
Feb 23, 2023 at 12:02 PM UTC
Lost, out of touch
Isolate, out of sight
Within the vast
Endless expanse
Intangible void
Silent knowings
Confused, oh sure,
It was there, all along
Yet blind eyes cannot see
Deaf ears cannot listen
Muted voices cannot speak.
- February 11th, 2023
Feb 11, 2023
Feb 11, 2023 at 9:01 PM UTC
Slowly I burn
Breathe through the smoke
Scorching my lungs
Catch in my throat
Hands closing in
Tighten their grip
Red always fades
Fingerprints in my mind
Steaming water, pour over me
Cleanse my wrongs
Wash away the fear
Burn away my shell
Cover it up, give it time
Time heals all wounds, sure,
As I relive my own
Reopen, pop the stitches
Some just won’t go
Maybe not yet
Surely not today.
- February 10th, 2023
Feb 11, 2023
Feb 11, 2023 at 9:01 PM UTC
Drag across
Let it tear
Watch it ooze
Stroke after stroke
Get it under control
One way or another
Get a grip, little rips
Drift away
Thrash about
Drown it out
Before it suffocates
Drown it all out
Truth and lies
Pulled under
Far below
Choke the sounds
Load the rounds
Fire away, down
Down for now
To rise later
Same old ****
Wounds continually bleed
Sound or blood
Pick and choose
Drown it out
Before it burns
Suffocate in the smoke.
- February 10th, 2023
Feb 11, 2023
Feb 11, 2023 at 9:00 PM UTC
None shall, no not a one
Hear them, haunted echoes
Banshees, perhaps
Intangible, yet ever present
Inaudible, yet eternally wailing
Thunder approaches, deafening thunder
No place to hide, words spoken
Lines broken, simply run
Close, but only so far
Threaten, scream and cry
None shall ever leave
Figures, perhaps one day
Eternally, memories bleed.
- February 10th, 2023
Feb 11, 2023
Feb 11, 2023 at 9:00 PM UTC
Scuttle along
Cover to cover
Bit of rubble here,
A collapsed building there,
Just climb about, to and fro
Steer clear of the fray
Lest they find him,
Smallest is he,
Branded by fallen brethren;
Shrimp soldier.
- February 6th, 2023
Feb 10, 2023
Feb 10, 2023 at 1:41 AM UTC
Out and away
Drive and let’s go
Music and the road
Stretch across the sky
Venture out, into the setting sun,
Watching the world go on by
Fluffy purple clouds
Nails and notes
Listen and know,
End and out once more,
Enter a door,
Into the unknown,
Only peace, there is only peace
Choices, oh choices,
Select and see,
Close, comfortable and warm,
Ease into the dark,
Embrace the moment,
For here there is peace,
Only peace.
- February 8th, 2023
Feb 10, 2023
Feb 10, 2023 at 1:40 AM UTC