Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Andrew Duggan Aug 2017
The best place to
see life in Taiyuan
is to sit on the street.

Just by XueFu Park
on Tiyu road.

The arteries of the
city grasping for
space and meaning.
Husbands too tired to talk.
Wives waiting  for the next
episode.

Fireflies searching
for a neon light
Street cleaners who read
Hemingway.
Dancing ladies who
sing the old songs.

Taiyuan is alive
at night.

Once the Fen can breathe
no more and the dancing
ladies have lost their words,

Many more will sit by and watch
the shadows of their past reclaim
the streets of Taiyuan.

Unable to
move for fear of uncertainty.
Andrew Duggan Sep 2017
Today is the first of September
The end of summer in Taiyuan
Hopes of love expired, summer lapsed away
Too impeccable to last.

The crickets put their songbooks away
The long march over for another year
Hearts moving, yet without a dream
Their music web will sing a different tune.

One last walk by the Fen
and memories of dizziness.
Faintly the steps begin to grieve
each one heavy with the waning light.

And now the cold kiss of a Shanxi winter
invites me to walk by its placid stream.
And drink its cooling breath
More vivid than the sunsets final glow.
Andrew Duggan Nov 2017
Dawn in Taiyuan, silent shadows spoke her name and unsubdued thoughts weaved a wild dance.

My heart swings, no human passions speak at this time.
I looked at the moon, voiceless in this darksome place.

The silent morning greets my soul and hides the secret sorrows of the night. And she so good and kind, her beauty hovers in the air.

Now I cannot see the morning moon and shadows tremble in cold despair.

As I reach out for the sudden echoes of our love that flicker in this grey morning light.

I wake to listen.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
This morning I talked with a professor about Kant, the 'highest good' and 'moral motivation'.
Last week only the Marxist stood by me as the dogs of Shanxi barked out stories of unrequited love.
They say the  sun  can do strange things to a man. No stranger things than here in Taiyuan.
So I asked the professor if there are limitations to happiness. He said 'happiness is about faith'
So I went and told the Marxist about the sun, Kant and happiness
This was a reflection on a conversation I had this morning with a professor of philosophy I know
Andrew Duggan Oct 2017
Raining in Taiyuan
A kind of rapture
Waiting to rise into the sky
Her only dream was menacing fanaticism of love
A constant companion
Like tinnitus of the night
Always singing, a constant companion

Crawling in search of understanding
She died long ago
Remnants of herself
And torrents of whispers
Weight of loss, weight of guilt
A vacuum of memories
Draining into the city sewer.

So much left undone
No voice to shout now
The girl you used to know
Walking by the Fen River
Bodies lie in the undrinkable water
Disputing the time of the event.
Andrew Duggan Sep 2017
Sensuous pleasure
Human touch

I close my eyes
Darken hue

A stampede of thoughts
Streams of consciousness

Springsteen in Asbury Park
Aung San Sun kyi, a lost voice

Meeting with a philosopher
American friends

Judge Judy
And Poetic license

International conflicts
Blame the Russians

Rooney drink driving
Racist police and the NFL

PhD students
And Noam Chomsky

R.E.M
'The End Of the World as We know it'

BREXIT
Blame anyone but yourself

A mother giving birth in the street
To poor for St. Elsewhere

North Korea
Blame the Chinese

The beautiful woman next to me
Another day in paradise.

The man said something
Now the other foot.
I went for a foot massage today
Andrew Duggan Aug 2017
Now I am grown-up
I am not supposed to daydream.
But I do.

I looked up 'daydreaming' on my phone, whilst drinking coffee in M.Gateau's. The Urban Dictionary said:

" A condition that occurs when one is in deep thought while looking in the same direction for a long time".

But I never look in the same direction for long
When I do it evokes the deepest desires. Beautiful women walking the streets, waiting for the midnight hour, so they can indulge in living.

And as for deep thoughts?

Well, last night I dreamt again that nothing mattered anymore. Including writing poetry. Until then my day was going great.

Now I haven't moved my eyes from the pavement. Gazing at the street shadows made by the sun rays - they are everywhere.

Shadows are like this.
They take over space that we create.
And that is it for the day.

They come in secret when we are not looking and we can not face ourselves alone.

Now I wonder who you think you will see?
I just hope it is me.
Time for another coffee.
Drinking coffee today, I began to daydream.
Andrew Duggan Sep 2017
I walked to the Spar
An older lady gave me
a magazine.

Full of pictures
Bracelets and *******.

Fake as the new beauty
Fake a smile
Fake anything he wants.

Now he buys your favourite food
Red lips temptations
And perpetual lies.

Daughters of Zhang
Burnt by the sun.

So much fear that no one is
clapping.

But you will make him happy tonight
Just like the night before.
Spar is the local supermarket near my apartment in Taiyuan. The magazine I was given was called 'Taiyuan Men' - a free magazine with a picture of a beautiful Chinese woman on the front.
Andrew Duggan Sep 2017
When the black dogs are massed against the dawn

What does it matter that no one listens to your chronicles of time.

Or remembers the low cold sky, that left you dark.

To you a room is a cell and those that sleep by the Fen have no tears for those who stay.

In this place there is a cruel famine of ideas, and each morning holds off its sunshine and birdsong.

In another place, far away a voice says that stars will fall from heaven. If not stars then dawns that will dazzle in your eyes.

The thing that I call living is just being satisfied.
Andrew Duggan Aug 2017
Tonight I went to the park.

And saw a man who lived a life beyond life
Known to no one.

All of which delighted me.

In trivial movements that mean
a lived memory.

I saw too many who mourn a life too tamely spent.

Look longer, deeper now with accustomed eyes.

Just quick appearances but that is enough.

To show the fools that some men are giants
no longer chained down from the skies.
Andrew Duggan Nov 2017
Will you remember this conversation?
How words and music bridged our minds.
For what I have lost, so much was gained
in those moments of starting stories.
Once I heard and answered all the questions,
and spoke the language of plum blossom flowers.
Bearing apricot sweet dreams and craving spring,
we pressed each petal between the pages,
a singular beauty captured in a moment.
Now an old soul, who has paid time,
I share conversations with the night time creatures,
who have too much silence between the words,
and refuse to let you see all that has gone.
But out of pity and remorse,
they are given light by the moon and the stars.
I can see the night come down around them
and wait for each soul alone, it is enough to frighten me.
Now I pay more attention to sunlight bright
on the Fen river, than describing a sun that shines after death
and a world in silent pact unwilling to scatter it’s immortal seeds.
And as each petal vanishes, the day becomes darker.
Andrew Duggan Jul 2017
Last night I dreamt that I had a conversation with Stephen
Hawking, at least I think it was a dream?

I asked him about the history of time in Taiyuan
He said that “The earth is brittle and the scent of the past heavy”

I wanted to know about black holes.

But he kept talking about people who hold out their hands to nothing at all. And how narrow space was in this place.

So we went for a walk by the Fen.
And talked about the death of an English country on a Chinese road.

This seemed huge.

I felt the warmth of the winter sun and saw people that could not rise.

He asked me “Why did I come to teach here if I had worries about the weather?’

I woke up and wondered if we had communicated at a higher level?
Andrew Duggan Sep 2017
Migu's Coffee Cafe
Just by Xinhua's Book Shop
Is a place I know well
A place to be seen for the ****
To loose yourself in a dream
When you leave your native road

Through the window I can see the faded
yellow paint of the buildings.
They are always darker in winter.
They remind me of leaves falling
on a cold Manchester Autumn morning.
Full of parting  and lingering pain.
Holding on to the last days of summer.

Now I see your face
In a nest broken by angry voices
Too afraid to tread on the flowers
I could not help you.

A life at 22 always looks different at 52 even in Taiyuan.
We once talked of babies and forever
Now I focus on the pain
The only thing that is real.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
How strange to see Kurt Cobain
In a Taiyuan Coffee Bar
War marched through my mind
I wanted to ask him
How he addressed the fog
How to treat the ghosts
Time and space describe
Nothing
I often visit a coffee bar hidden in the back streets of the city. It has a picture of Kurt Cobain on the wall.
Andrew Duggan Nov 2017
A slow river flows in Taiyuan, the current always hidden.
And as a winter breeze blows coldly and coldly,
the queen-woman hides her face, the stillness exactly as before.

Oh, slow river, you are so lonely and pale in light now.
Only a flimsy sun to keep you company.
The odd rain cannot hide your water like tenderness.

Drifting rare flowers, relics of the long march float toward your banks, layered into clusters of yellow gold alluvium and images of illusion.

A river I have under my breath, a natural gift from an almighty.
But shared by the old women who pat the lines in our hands and tell our futures, silent flows, each day.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
Soon I will come to the end of my journey
and another statue will disappear.
But you see you cannot **** the sculptor
Only hire the black priest to wash away your sins.

Your unkind words mean nothing to me
Life runs through your fingers like white sand
and many unborn days disturb your mindfulness.
The black priest cannot help you.

I sing to the same stars in Taiyuan
that I once sang to in Albacete with the Brigada Abraham Lincoln.
Then the Spanish people grieved for our going.
You only grieve for the shade of the evening
And the silence of the Fen river.
Andrew Duggan Aug 2017
11am from Taiyuan to Beijing.
Trees and buildings rushing by.
First Shijiazhuang then Gaobeidiandong.

A drizzling rain falls  like an early morning sadness. People in the city waiting for connections.

You asked me to show you meaning.
I looked at my phone.
That is all I need to know today.

Beijing is approaching
Yet you are so far away.
Endless buildings of delight and sadness.

And Du Mu asks " Where can a wine shop be found"?
Recently I took my first trip to Beijing. Du Mu is a Tang Poet.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
I met two snowmen in Taiyuan today.
At least they told me they were snowmen.
To be honest I was not sure.

We talked about the snow, the stars and bullet trains to Beijing.
The one with the hat did most of the talking he grew moody and distant  as the snow fell.

I wondered about the depth  of a snowman's life.
The quite one asked me about my life. I was about to answer,
when he told me he had once told his life he wanted space.

The snowman with the hat then asked me
" Do you think consciousness only exists when the snow falls?"
I knew then the rain would come soon.
I was walking one day and came across two snowmen in the city.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
I have a Chinese friend that needs to go into hospital today.

She smiles everyday and hides her December gleam in the cold Taiyuan mornings.

But I know she is worried.

Now she needs to catch the courage in her eyes.

So last night I prayed for her.

And told her that one in never alone in a fight.

There is always a light that never goes out.
She has a shadow on her left breast. So I wrote this for her.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
The barren soil of Taiyuan
grows rich with silent souls.
A foreign darkness fills the
empty streets.
And only the moon betrays this
unfamiliar scene.
We refused to *****  through the
half-lit mornings by Yingze Park
Or give our voice to the midnight
air. Our shadows are not articulate in
silence. They are infused with life and are
not alone.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
Today I changed my sheets in Taiyuan
Nobody asks me how many times I do this?
Nobody asks me how I do it.
Nobody offers to help me change my sheets.

I knew a woman once who listened to Bob Dylan
And said she was ‘wounded in love’
She changed her sheets everyday
I never asked her why.
Just an ordinary moment in my life
Andrew Duggan Nov 2017
Winter is here now in Taiyuan,
deserted banks of the River Fen.

I had stories to tell, about damming souls
and ducks still trying to find reasons to believe.

I wonder is water enjoyed by everyone.
And think of you still.
Andrew Duggan Jun 2017
Old men drinking  black water
Dogs of Taiyuan loosing hope

I saw a young woman,
27 already and loving another kind

A battered book under her arm
They can't see beyond today

The child looked at the Hulusi
An honest look, the laughter, the love

I gave her the cake
A fragment of what I felt

Mars Audiac Quintet in the background
Sean O'Hagen playing ping-pong

'A stamp of war then peel back
to square one and back for more'

Lu Yu asked me
"Why are you drinking black water?"

The woman came over and whispered in my ear
"L'amore est notre veritable destin"

Just like the first time.
I went to a cafe and watch a young woman with her child.
Andrew Duggan Nov 2017
It’s early in the morning the sun dimly white,  thin air on the Taiyuan rooftops. Frozen thoughts swim to the dry banks of the River Fen, locked and clattered in the same broken run.

Why did you stay, but not forever? A constant companion sang the cat. A perfect octave in a moment of intervals, between margins of half-heard music and the last light of unclear whispers.

I’ve been wounded in so many nights, a hallmark of all the hidden places.  Like a sleepless boy who hates his bed, something of this slow fading is impossible to forget.

From my window I can see clouds breaking the morning - turning to see your shy-flushed face, that carries the shreds of a dream that I can't remember. Delicate spaces between us - I love you.

— The End —