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"succeeding" poems
<> No, He said. I want you wanting. *I want to taste the miracle of your desperation, need, lick the sweet sweat of tense from the hairline well hid on the back of your pleasuring neck. I need your needing constant completion, but not succeeding. The airborne aroma of your desires are fiery, arousing, stimulus sensating me by the unending beauty of dissatisfaction, this virus desirous, infection, makes my perpetual wanting   for an incomplete perfect woman, forever seeking betterment, perfectly complete.* <>
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Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 12:54 PM UTC
I want to be a complete woman
Side by side, their faces blurred, The earl and countess lie in stone, Their proper habits vaguely shown As jointed armour, stiffened pleat, And that faint hint of the absurd - The little dogs under their feet. Such plainness of the pre-baroque Hardly involves the eye, until It meets his left-hand gauntlet, still Clasped empty in the other; and One sees, with a sharp tender shock, His hand withdrawn, holding her hand. They would not think to lie so long. Such faithfulness in effigy Was just a detail friends would see: A sculptor's sweet commissioned grace Thrown off in helping to prolong The Latin names around the base. They would no guess how early in Their supine stationary voyage The air would change to soundless damage, Turn the old tenantry away; How soon succeeding eyes begin To look, not read. Rigidly they Persisted, linked, through lengths and breadths Of time. Snow fell, undated. Light Each summer thronged the grass. A bright Litter of birdcalls strewed the same Bone-littered ground. And up the paths The endless altered people came, Washing at their identity. Now, helpless in the hollow of An unarmorial age, a trough Of smoke in slow suspended skeins Above their scrap of history, Only an attitude remains: Time has transfigures them into Untruth. The stone fidelity They hardly meant has come to be Their final blazon, and to prove Our almost-instinct almost true: What will survive of us is love.
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8.8k
An Arundel Tomb
Features, my reflection— subtle hints stare back offering wordless reply, their evidence a betrayal of age. A wrinkle looking deeper, mane of face, of head—hairs fresh lacking pigment. Vain attempts made to mend heart, to sooth soul's dread. Testimony of experience of wisdom, persistence, perception, an impotent contraceptive, the argument aberrant. Regret to cloud memory, my youth seeming a flesh and blood cliche. Tiny footnotes heavy with prose, words in bold to distract mind's eye—a demand of attention. Edging out tomb's more beautiful weight of love and heartache of passion's attempt failing, to try again, sinking before succeeding. An era's dusk and dawn anew, life's advent unpredictable—without cause changing. Notion hanging lingering, poisoning future, the venom of defeat an insidious invasion. This new age creeping toward night in this stage my life's sun less bright. Maturity's introduced responsibility, some enjoyable while others to own hostility. A brigand mugging freedom—time for leisure. Spurring combat for what remains of youth, fingers wrapping air in futile seizure. The inevitable to command subservience, presuming ownership of life, though the mature demonstrate the defiance of the immature. Objects, activities, music assaulting ear, their manner, symbols of strict adherence to who once was— a spiteful surrender refusal. A piece of me defining me until no more, years holding power—threatening to change who I am at very core. Canvas construction the colour of murre, rubber toe caps the shade of pure. Design worn since youth, dead and resurrected; a million mile shoe of valorous resistance—insurrection, a Converse rebellion. In torment of age's scars, I'll never be too old to wear my All Stars.
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Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:18 PM UTC
Converse Rebellion
Features, my reflection— subtle hints stare back offering wordless reply, their evidence a betrayal of age. A wrinkle looking deeper, mane of face, of head—hairs fresh lacking pigment. Vain attempts made to mend heart, to sooth soul's dread. Testimony of experience of wisdom, persistence, perception, an impotent contraceptive, the argument aberrant. Regret to cloud memory, my youth seeming a flesh and blood cliche. Tiny footnotes heavy with prose, words in bold to distract mind's eye—a demand of attention. Edging out tomb's more beautiful weight of love and heartache of passion's attempt failing, to try again, sinking before succeeding. An era's dusk and dawn anew, life's advent unpredictable—without cause changing. Notion hanging lingering, poisoning future, the venom of defeat an insidious invasion. This new age creeping toward night in this stage my life's sun less bright. Maturity's introduced responsibility, some enjoyable while others to own hostility. A brigand mugging freedom—time for leisure. Spurring combat for what remains of youth, fingers wrapping air in futile seizure. The inevitable to command subservience, presuming ownership of life, though the mature demonstrate the defiance of the immature. Objects, activities, music assaulting ear, their manner, symbols of strict adherence to who once was— a spiteful surrender refusal. A piece of me defining me until no more, years holding power—threatening to change who I am at very core. Canvas construction the colour of murre, rubber toe caps the shade of pure. Design worn since youth, dead and resurrected; a million mile shoe of valorous resistance—insurrection, a Converse rebellion. In torment of age's scars, I'll never be too old to wear my All Stars.
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49
749 All but Death, can be Adjusted— Dynasties repaired— Systems—settled in their Sockets— Citadels—dissolved— Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors By Succeeding Springs— Death—unto itself—Exception— Is exempt from Change—
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7.3k
All but Death, can be Adjusted
Commitment issues This again? Yes but this time these are my words Not the labels thrown at me by exes Like arrows attempting to pierce me into place I thought it was meant to trap me But I think they just wanted me to stop To think To really evaluate myself To see the truth Im afraid of commitment. When I've been told this in the past I read it with the understanding that Commitment issues meant I Just couldn't have or didn't want a relationship And that just couldn't be true I mean just check my track record No, see My having commitment issues Is rooted deeply within my past These problems originate in an exciting mix of Trust issues Abandonment issues And a variety of other traumas I am not afraid to enter relationships And I do not avoid love Actually, I am obsessed with finding love With being loved All the while trying to love another Thinking I'm succeeding While subtly sabotaging myself in the process When I was small I did not receive the respect and care Needed to show I was loved Though my parent said they cared They didn't protect me the way they should have I had to take care of myself Look out for myself Because I was the only one I could trust Anytime I got close to someone They'd either decide to leave Or get ripped away by outside forces I was alone a lot And not great at making friends With the abuse happening at one house And some solace found at the other I was constantly fluctuating between Hellhole and liberation All while trying to have a childhood And survive adolescence So when they say I have commitment issues They're probably right But not for the reasons they think Not because I'm polyamorous Not because I don't want to commit Not because I don't love and Not because of who I am as a person My issues come from a long line of Different abuses by people who Were supposed to protect me But didn't So if you think to judge me For the trouble I have with trusting you And trusting you won't hurt me Or decide to leave when I'm "too much" Understand that I did not choose to be like this I didn't choose the pain that led me to love In such a haphazard way But I am choosing to do something about it
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Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 8:48 AM UTC
Issues with "Commitment"
Commitment issues This again? Yes but this time these are my words Not the labels thrown at me by exes Like arrows attempting to pierce me into place I thought it was meant to trap me But I think they just wanted me to stop To think To really evaluate myself To see the truth Im afraid of commitment. When I've been told this in the past I read it with the understanding that Commitment issues meant I Just couldn't have or didn't want a relationship And that just couldn't be true I mean just check my track record No, see My having commitment issues Is rooted deeply within my past These problems originate in an exciting mix of Trust issues Abandonment issues And a variety of other traumas I am not afraid to enter relationships And I do not avoid love Actually, I am obsessed with finding love With being loved All the while trying to love another Thinking I'm succeeding While subtly sabotaging myself in the process When I was small I did not receive the respect and care Needed to show I was loved Though my parent said they cared They didn't protect me the way they should have I had to take care of myself Look out for myself Because I was the only one I could trust Anytime I got close to someone They'd either decide to leave Or get ripped away by outside forces I was alone a lot And not great at making friends With the abuse happening at one house And some solace found at the other I was constantly fluctuating between Hellhole and liberation All while trying to have a childhood And survive adolescence So when they say I have commitment issues They're probably right But not for the reasons they think Not because I'm polyamorous Not because I don't want to commit Not because I don't love and Not because of who I am as a person My issues come from a long line of Different abuses by people who Were supposed to protect me But didn't So if you think to judge me For the trouble I have with trusting you And trusting you won't hurt me Or decide to leave when I'm "too much" Understand that I did not choose to be like this I didn't choose the pain that led me to love In such a haphazard way But I am choosing to do something about it
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69
Spring came full of rejuvenating hope to ward off the chilly winters, It came replete with dreams of days much brighter, It came to exfoliate & gently scrub away the old ones, Yes it came to make way for the new flowers. It stayed till the sun was high up there in the shy sky, It stayed till the sun burnt holes in human pockets with bills of electricity, It stayed till the sun was cursed for being out there with AC's to help the well to do, Yes it stayed there till it was the merciless month of June. Summer then took over in July by burning animal & human skins alike, It even did not spare a patch of cool water in the naked-barren lands, It made animals cry & people kneel down and call for help, Yes their calls weren't left unanswered and soon it was the rainy monsoon. Monsoon - the rainy season lashes upon the oven hot land in August's end, It eases the hot temperatures and releases peafowls in mating, It even threatens to drown the ill-prepared cities of India by flood-waters, Yes Mumbai is just one example of how Indian people want the autumn to come. Autumn - the reliever from torrid showers, It is an exception in the Indian season cycle, It is neither that torrid monsoon before it nor is it the hostile winters succeeding it, Yes it is a short calm time just before the winter season extreme in the north. Winter season as we've learnt to call it in schools, It sends chills down the spines of Indian people all over, It is harsh only in the north but the other people simply don't have tolerance or genes, Yes I love the beautiful winter season so what if once it nearly took my life while on trekking.
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May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 9:37 AM UTC
An Indian Seasonal Account
Spring came full of rejuvenating hope to ward off the chilly winters, It came replete with dreams of days much brighter, It came to exfoliate & gently scrub away the old ones, Yes it came to make way for the new flowers. It stayed till the sun was high up there in the shy sky, It stayed till the sun burnt holes in human pockets with bills of electricity, It stayed till the sun was cursed for being out there with AC's to help the well to do, Yes it stayed there till it was the merciless month of June. Summer then took over in July by burning animal & human skins alike, It even did not spare a patch of cool water in the naked-barren lands, It made animals cry & people kneel down and call for help, Yes their calls weren't left unanswered and soon it was the rainy monsoon. Monsoon - the rainy season lashes upon the oven hot land in August's end, It eases the hot temperatures and releases peafowls in mating, It even threatens to drown the ill-prepared cities of India by flood-waters, Yes Mumbai is just one example of how Indian people want the autumn to come. Autumn - the reliever from torrid showers, It is an exception in the Indian season cycle, It is neither that torrid monsoon before it nor is it the hostile winters succeeding it, Yes it is a short calm time just before the winter season extreme in the north. Winter season as we've learnt to call it in schools, It sends chills down the spines of Indian people all over, It is harsh only in the north but the other people simply don't have tolerance or genes, Yes I love the beautiful winter season so what if once it nearly took my life while on trekking.
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24
Use your pen to be expressive express yourself and be impressive impress your will to be progressive progress of the muse possessive possessed by another expression expressing myself is my obsession obsessing over words in succession succeeding is hopeful in every session
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Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 11:06 PM UTC
Impressive Expression - Double Quantum Loop
I was three years out of high school and finally getting the chance to grow up. I’d been ready since before graduation day. Everybody in the world was certain that I would fail. I couldn’t succeed. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am proving them wrong. I’m succeeding, maybe not thriving, but succeeding right before their very eyes. Success is living on my own. Being able to do every household chore on my own. Success is getting myself to and from where I need to be in my broken down, beat up wheelchair. Success is budgeting my money each month. Success is not getting killed and ***** on my walk home from work in the dark. Success is living up to their standards and way of life. Success is faking a smile. I’ve learned more about life in the last eight months than ever before. I’ve made mistakes, just like they said I would. What they didn’t count on was me learning from those mistakes and picking up the pieces. They told me I wouldn’t last more than a month, six weeks at the most. I would ***** up, fail miserably, get hurt and hospitalized. Thank you for the boost of self-esteem. It’s made me tougher than steel. I may not be the perfect student, skinny blonde ***** award winning page designer or most eloquent writer. I may not speak Spanish fluently, have loads of extra cash lying around or a motorized, state of the art wheelchair. Stop telling me what I need. I don’t need or want any of them. Success is living how I want to live. Success is a productive day when I want nothing but hot tea and soft music. Success is having the confidence to ask for help when I’ve been told I shouldn’t. Success is making friends who can read through my masquerade. Success is facing the consequences. Success is found through red ink marks and piles of papers. Success is not letting those who don’t believe in me get the best of me. Success is sunshine on a cloudy day
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Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010 at 9:29 PM UTC
Vote Of Confidence
I was three years out of high school and finally getting the chance to grow up. I’d been ready since before graduation day. Everybody in the world was certain that I would fail. I couldn’t succeed. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am proving them wrong. I’m succeeding, maybe not thriving, but succeeding right before their very eyes. Success is living on my own. Being able to do every household chore on my own. Success is getting myself to and from where I need to be in my broken down, beat up wheelchair. Success is budgeting my money each month. Success is not getting killed and ***** on my walk home from work in the dark. Success is living up to their standards and way of life. Success is faking a smile. I’ve learned more about life in the last eight months than ever before. I’ve made mistakes, just like they said I would. What they didn’t count on was me learning from those mistakes and picking up the pieces. They told me I wouldn’t last more than a month, six weeks at the most. I would ***** up, fail miserably, get hurt and hospitalized. Thank you for the boost of self-esteem. It’s made me tougher than steel. I may not be the perfect student, skinny blonde ***** award winning page designer or most eloquent writer. I may not speak Spanish fluently, have loads of extra cash lying around or a motorized, state of the art wheelchair. Stop telling me what I need. I don’t need or want any of them. Success is living how I want to live. Success is a productive day when I want nothing but hot tea and soft music. Success is having the confidence to ask for help when I’ve been told I shouldn’t. Success is making friends who can read through my masquerade. Success is facing the consequences. Success is found through red ink marks and piles of papers. Success is not letting those who don’t believe in me get the best of me. Success is sunshine on a cloudy day
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28
Weeping by the Willow Tree Written by Adam M. Snow Who is she adorned in moonlight's veil - This beauty with skin so fragile and pale? I see her within a dream surreal, Weeping by the willow tree. Why does she weep such a woe, Under starry midnight glow? Upon the ground, her tears will flow; Weeping by the willow tree. How can I clearly see? She weeps so tenderly... Will I come to know; can it be, She weeps for me by the willow tree? What can cause her broken heart, That led this dame to hurt? Her hair does fairly touch the dirt; Weeping by the willow tree. A love that's lost should only be, Misinterpreted reality, For she will never be set free, Weeping by the willow tree. A heart's amiss if love is lost - An empty bliss would be the cost. A troubled dream, she would exhaust – Weeping by the willow tree. Every which way the wind would blow, The rustling leaves, the willow'd throw. Akin to willows weep, we know! She weeps by the willow tree. Is she an angel kneeling there? What is her burden that she bear? Certainly there is such grief in the air, Away by the olden willow tree. She veils her face with waterfall tears, Misery held her all these years. With tender hopes and fears, She weeps by the willow tree. The willow tree leaves would sway, As she, on her knees would pray. Every night and every day, She weeps by the willow tree. Alas! It is that she cries for me; It twas I who caused her such sweet misery. I hear her cries, her plea, Underneath the willow tree. I oft wonder what I did to she, And wonder why she weeps for me. In the night I hear the keys - While she weeps under the willow tree. Upon the morn, it occurred to me, That maiden cries out of love for me. And I simply walked past her plea, Not knowing what causes her to weep, Silently under the willow tree. The succeeding night I went to see, That beautiful girl who sits under the tree. I saw her there, but in despair - She hangs from two branches bare. Swinging under the willow tree. http://amsnow.weebly.com
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Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 1:33 PM UTC
Weeping by the Willow Tree
Weeping by the Willow Tree Written by Adam M. Snow Who is she adorned in moonlight's veil - This beauty with skin so fragile and pale? I see her within a dream surreal, Weeping by the willow tree. Why does she weep such a woe, Under starry midnight glow? Upon the ground, her tears will flow; Weeping by the willow tree. How can I clearly see? She weeps so tenderly... Will I come to know; can it be, She weeps for me by the willow tree? What can cause her broken heart, That led this dame to hurt? Her hair does fairly touch the dirt; Weeping by the willow tree. A love that's lost should only be, Misinterpreted reality, For she will never be set free, Weeping by the willow tree. A heart's amiss if love is lost - An empty bliss would be the cost. A troubled dream, she would exhaust – Weeping by the willow tree. Every which way the wind would blow, The rustling leaves, the willow'd throw. Akin to willows weep, we know! She weeps by the willow tree. Is she an angel kneeling there? What is her burden that she bear? Certainly there is such grief in the air, Away by the olden willow tree. She veils her face with waterfall tears, Misery held her all these years. With tender hopes and fears, She weeps by the willow tree. The willow tree leaves would sway, As she, on her knees would pray. Every night and every day, She weeps by the willow tree. Alas! It is that she cries for me; It twas I who caused her such sweet misery. I hear her cries, her plea, Underneath the willow tree. I oft wonder what I did to she, And wonder why she weeps for me. In the night I hear the keys - While she weeps under the willow tree. Upon the morn, it occurred to me, That maiden cries out of love for me. And I simply walked past her plea, Not knowing what causes her to weep, Silently under the willow tree. The succeeding night I went to see, That beautiful girl who sits under the tree. I saw her there, but in despair - She hangs from two branches bare. Swinging under the willow tree. http://amsnow.weebly.com
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61
A mask is something I often tried to wear, never succeeding always ending up snared. -Snared within my own insansity I'm somewhat surprised I still grasp my humanity it seems it's all I have left after all I've finally noticed it doesn't even matter *my ****** expression* it doesn't have to be a way to express my emotions. If I remain neutral, who will really take that into consideration?
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Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 8:07 PM UTC
A Mask
I spied it first from my upper deck, a huge nest of driftwood, tree limbs and seaweed. Each summer watching the male do his sky dance while spotting prey underwater from 30 meters above Hells Gap Marsh. His wings constructed in a manner that allows him to bend and shield his eyes from the sun as he lands. The first thing I would look for after each hurricane took another bite out of our coastline. And after six succeeding hurricanes the nest still strong in the top of the old tree, though empty in the cold months as the Osprey winters south. Several generations of young I've watched grow through summers in my time here. For two full years now the nest has stood empty. Mates for life have parted. No more young learning to hunt the fish. Standing  as a metaphor for my own soon to be empty nest. A reality, not just a syndrome. r ~  30Jan14
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Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 11:50 AM UTC
The Osprey Nest
It happens imperceptibly but you know it when it’s in full effect – Two’s company three’s crowd. It’s not anyone’s fault, not something anyone decides, just how it goes sometimes. Conversation becomes more and more personal, until it is clear: You are not supposed to be here. So you do what you are good at doing. You disappear. - See, disappearing? You have it down to a science. Talk less and less and then not at all. Stare off into space, perhaps fidget from time to time, make small movements to show that you have not quite turned to stone. Take a while to leave. It can’t be sudden - you wouldn’t want to draw attention to yourself. [It’s awkward for everyone involved.] Finally, when you think you just can’t bear it, get up to go to the bathroom and never come back. It’s easier than you think. - They will look for and address you eventually: *oh good night, are you okay, you’re so quiet, you should have said something, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.* The usual. You will reassure them when the time comes, fold up your feelings into a little origami crane that you wish could just fly away. But for now you can sit safely in your invisibility. - You told your friend group earlier that sometimes you thought there was no point calling yourself gay because you just hated everyone. It makes everyone laugh, and even you find that you’re amused, but you don’t know if they heard the hurt, the bitterness, the honesty of that statement buried within your voice. - You watch the way your two friends (with benefits) are affectionate with each other, the way one puts her head in the other’s lap, the way they play with each other’s hair small kisses on small places, the way they do these things and see only each other, as if all of this is only obvious to them. It’s sweet. You try to rouse yourself into more feeling: jealousy, sadness, hopefulness, anything intense, but everything boils down to the same nothingness. This is simply another thing you can’t/won’t/don’t have [pick any verb, they’re all true]. - And this is what your life is: trying to find ways to make everything disappear. Feelings – gone. Desires – gone. Expectations – gone. Hopes – gone. Communication – gone. - And this is what your life is: Succeeding.
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Mar 30, 2016
Mar 30, 2016 at 2:43 AM UTC
Dissociation
It happens imperceptibly but you know it when it’s in full effect – Two’s company three’s crowd. It’s not anyone’s fault, not something anyone decides, just how it goes sometimes. Conversation becomes more and more personal, until it is clear: You are not supposed to be here. So you do what you are good at doing. You disappear. - See, disappearing? You have it down to a science. Talk less and less and then not at all. Stare off into space, perhaps fidget from time to time, make small movements to show that you have not quite turned to stone. Take a while to leave. It can’t be sudden - you wouldn’t want to draw attention to yourself. [It’s awkward for everyone involved.] Finally, when you think you just can’t bear it, get up to go to the bathroom and never come back. It’s easier than you think. - They will look for and address you eventually: *oh good night, are you okay, you’re so quiet, you should have said something, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.* The usual. You will reassure them when the time comes, fold up your feelings into a little origami crane that you wish could just fly away. But for now you can sit safely in your invisibility. - You told your friend group earlier that sometimes you thought there was no point calling yourself gay because you just hated everyone. It makes everyone laugh, and even you find that you’re amused, but you don’t know if they heard the hurt, the bitterness, the honesty of that statement buried within your voice. - You watch the way your two friends (with benefits) are affectionate with each other, the way one puts her head in the other’s lap, the way they play with each other’s hair small kisses on small places, the way they do these things and see only each other, as if all of this is only obvious to them. It’s sweet. You try to rouse yourself into more feeling: jealousy, sadness, hopefulness, anything intense, but everything boils down to the same nothingness. This is simply another thing you can’t/won’t/don’t have [pick any verb, they’re all true]. - And this is what your life is: trying to find ways to make everything disappear. Feelings – gone. Desires – gone. Expectations – gone. Hopes – gone. Communication – gone. - And this is what your life is: Succeeding.
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111
My emotions are a skeleton and every bone is breaking. My heart is a cavern and the ceiling is collapsing. If disappointment were the ocean, I'd have sailed the seven seas. My eyes are a furnace and the saltwater is my excuse. I could create endless metaphors, turn my anguish into beauty, craft well-written analogies, and pretend pain is poetry. But honestly I'm just empty, there are no words that convey this simple absence of fulfillment, the hole in my chest isn't poetic. I have huge dreams and fiery passions, but I'm lying in bed writing poems, life is dripping through my fingertips and I'm just watching it hit the cement. I feel like a failure, I'm afraid my life is worthless, I'm incapable of succeeding, I'm not good enough to win. These words are midnight's lies but they're finding me in the daylight. I have become exhausted, and I am so tired of being tired.
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Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 4:12 PM UTC
Broken Bones.
As the poison ran through her veins She started to lose control Couldn't breathe Couldn't talk Couldn't move Couldn't think about anything else. The worst part is that she poisoned herself. But she won't die, nor will she be okay. Because this poison is a different kind. The poison is hopelessness Being let down Negative thinking This poison is her own creation Specific to her And the people she cares about can poison her just as easily as they can breathe. Now she's sitting Motionless Speechless Thoughtless Breathless Because the poison has circulated And it's reached her heart. But she won't die, nor will she be okay Because this poison is a different kind. She physically feels sick She wants to die To **** herself To cut Drink Drown Hang Shoot Break And cry But she can't. Because this poison has paralysed her. This poinsion has taken away her will to breathe, not her breath itself. Her will to move, not her mobility itself. Her will to talk, not her speech itself. But it has replaced every thought with that of a blade Or a rope Or a gun Or a bottle Or a pill Or a lake Or a building This poison has polluted we mind and mingled with her blood. The will to **** is a part of her now and there is nothing she can do to escape that. Despite wanting to sleep for eternity six foot under This poison cannot **** her Only she can And she is close And willing And weak enough to attempt. She cannot think of anything else And it's all her fault She created this She started it all. If she had succeeded last year, she wouldn't be around to have created this poison. So until she has hit rock bottom and has a chance at succeeding She will try to drown her demons Suffocate her demons Bleed herself dry of the poison Consume enough alcohol to alter the poison But she won't die, nor will she be okay Because this is a different kind of poison And she is already dead inside.
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Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 10:24 AM UTC
A different type of poison.
As the poison ran through her veins She started to lose control Couldn't breathe Couldn't talk Couldn't move Couldn't think about anything else. The worst part is that she poisoned herself. But she won't die, nor will she be okay. Because this poison is a different kind. The poison is hopelessness Being let down Negative thinking This poison is her own creation Specific to her And the people she cares about can poison her just as easily as they can breathe. Now she's sitting Motionless Speechless Thoughtless Breathless Because the poison has circulated And it's reached her heart. But she won't die, nor will she be okay Because this poison is a different kind. She physically feels sick She wants to die To **** herself To cut Drink Drown Hang Shoot Break And cry But she can't. Because this poison has paralysed her. This poinsion has taken away her will to breathe, not her breath itself. Her will to move, not her mobility itself. Her will to talk, not her speech itself. But it has replaced every thought with that of a blade Or a rope Or a gun Or a bottle Or a pill Or a lake Or a building This poison has polluted we mind and mingled with her blood. The will to **** is a part of her now and there is nothing she can do to escape that. Despite wanting to sleep for eternity six foot under This poison cannot **** her Only she can And she is close And willing And weak enough to attempt. She cannot think of anything else And it's all her fault She created this She started it all. If she had succeeded last year, she wouldn't be around to have created this poison. So until she has hit rock bottom and has a chance at succeeding She will try to drown her demons Suffocate her demons Bleed herself dry of the poison Consume enough alcohol to alter the poison But she won't die, nor will she be okay Because this is a different kind of poison And she is already dead inside.
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67
I am a teenage introvert: My bed is unkempt and I long for forgiveness - mainly from myself and possibly my mirror I worship the cynical and complain how much I hate school - even though I hate when I stay home My fingers are etching maps in my head, while I form an excuse to skip, even though I never do I look for acceptance, anywhere. No one uses words anymore and the rooms are silent. Miscommunication starts fights so I never speak up. Late nights on Netflix - succeeding at nothing I am a teenage stereotype: I save for concerts and buy cd’s. I long to drive someday and having the prospects of college. Filled with wanderlust I cry myself to sleep. Dreaming of not waking up - but getting home sick at home. I am confused.
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Feb 22, 2013
Feb 22, 2013 at 12:59 AM UTC
Cynical Compliants
I've become phenomenal, outstanding, and courageous. I've become dignified. I've become a person that understands the meaning of life and all its wonders. I've become amazing and outstanding, succeeding in all ways. I shall achieve my success at any rate. What I have earned no one can take away from me. What I have earned no one can give to me but myself. You cannot explain me in words but, even if you tried to write them on a page The words would merely lift up and fly away.
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Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 6:45 PM UTC
What I've become
Right over middle Middle over left You sit behind me And braid my hair "Don't move your head" he warns "I don't want to mess up" I smile and roll my eyes Because you couldn't possibly mess up You tie my hair And rub my shoulders real quick I turn around And I don't understand the look he has Hiding his smile with his hand Trying not to stare but not succeeding And I never knew That braids could have this effect
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Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 8:19 PM UTC
Braids
I stood upside down on the watery side of the sea line and looked at the world I was standing on, the stars blew out and re-appeared like the people walking past the cafe bench. The guy with the newsboy cap, made his rounds around the city, a white-out inscription on brick caught his attention: “You anticipated this time in another place.” The daughter of the woman behind the flower stand draws chalked fish completed with succeeding circles to indicate bubbles, bubbles on the asphalt. She was right: I had learned to breathe underwater and as a litmus test I turned my eyes to the single tree on the island. It shivered like seaweed. I went up to the stand and purchased the ugliest peony, the one with petals that were chiseled like frozen waves. I gave the lady my last quarter and as I turned around I saw the face of the guy with the newsboy cap, only this time it was infinitely larger, peeking over the horizon like the sun when it first rises. And then, a hand coming up, from under, fingers tapping from the other side, taps reverberating through sky, as though there was inside and outside and this whole time I was in an aquarium.
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Sep 15, 2011
Sep 15, 2011 at 8:45 PM UTC
Aquarium
Doc, I've been trying to deal with these issues for quite sometime to no avail; A good friend of mine (you may know him, Elmer Fudd) recommended you. I fear I will never be able to eat, let alone catch this turbo inspired example of flightless foul; Stuck in this celluloid world vividly inspired by an Emmy award winning colorist. I am a proud animal from generations of fine breeding, born in the pristine coyote valley; I am not stupid, not a fool or buffoon, and so I thought contractually, not one to be laughed at. And I, always the bad guy, constantly daunted in pursuit by haphazard ACME products; Expensive, bulky, time consuming, they characteristically fail right before they almost work. Rocket powered skates, unfortunately, only allow me to kiss the cliff-side really really hard; Very heavy anvils serve no other purpose than to be dropped on my head repeatedly. The incredulous manipulations of the impossible by the so clever writers of this farce; From trains appearing out of nowhere to run me over, to fierce lightning storms in an instant. Laying there in the release of my own bowels as the uncontrollable result of 500 Megajoules of energy traveling through my body yet again. I am the twice electrified mass of dribbling spastic protoplasm Personified proverbially in that lightning does indeed strike twice in the same place! As the smoke arises from my chard hairy frame and I sweep up my ashes to reassemble later; I realize Doc, I'm losing my grasp on the reality of ever succeeding, I need your help! I'm still hungry; And still I have not caught that **** Road Runner, **** you Warner Brothers! -----ChawzzyScript
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Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 1:13 AM UTC
Wile E. Coyote (On The Couch)
Doc, I've been trying to deal with these issues for quite sometime to no avail; A good friend of mine (you may know him, Elmer Fudd) recommended you. I fear I will never be able to eat, let alone catch this turbo inspired example of flightless foul; Stuck in this celluloid world vividly inspired by an Emmy award winning colorist. I am a proud animal from generations of fine breeding, born in the pristine coyote valley; I am not stupid, not a fool or buffoon, and so I thought contractually, not one to be laughed at. And I, always the bad guy, constantly daunted in pursuit by haphazard ACME products; Expensive, bulky, time consuming, they characteristically fail right before they almost work. Rocket powered skates, unfortunately, only allow me to kiss the cliff-side really really hard; Very heavy anvils serve no other purpose than to be dropped on my head repeatedly. The incredulous manipulations of the impossible by the so clever writers of this farce; From trains appearing out of nowhere to run me over, to fierce lightning storms in an instant. Laying there in the release of my own bowels as the uncontrollable result of 500 Megajoules of energy traveling through my body yet again. I am the twice electrified mass of dribbling spastic protoplasm Personified proverbially in that lightning does indeed strike twice in the same place! As the smoke arises from my chard hairy frame and I sweep up my ashes to reassemble later; I realize Doc, I'm losing my grasp on the reality of ever succeeding, I need your help! I'm still hungry; And still I have not caught that **** Road Runner, **** you Warner Brothers! -----ChawzzyScript
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A season of waiting As the cold air has come and choked our land Taking away our breath and our hope Even making attempts on our lives with this cold And almost succeeding in this terrible winter Oh come oh come Emmanuel Lonely sit these lands Waiting for good things to return And holding onto hope in this winter of anxiety and fear That soon, our redemption may come for to carry us home In these lands we wait, for it can't be much longer now Oh come oh come Emmanuel Our ancestors once cried 'over the next hill must lie our Promised Land' And we now cry 'in the next year must come our Savior For the Lord could not make us toil much longer Lest our bones freeze and our bodies die And all of this waiting would seem to be in vain Oh come oh come Emmanuel' Yet here we wait for years upon years and generations upon generations For the promised king to finally bless our lands And free us from the tyranny of this world Leading us into a better life And bringing us a better world Oh come oh come Emmanuel We wait this winter, knowing spring comes on the horizon with our Messiah To end this long-lasting winter And melt this world of snow and ice To bring a green spring Full of life and good things Oh come oh come Emmanuel For our Savior is coming And He will redeem all things He will end our exile in this winter And bring warmth to save our souls Oh come oh come Emmanuel and ransom us from this freezing winter
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Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
Advent
Last night I had a dream. I was standing on a planet named ALONE. It was just a lonely planet widout any sun and moons. It consisted of kingdoms. And I was on a tower of one of such kingdoms. The day was perfectly imperfect as always. And the night came succeeding to boil all the intricate frivolous thoughts running through my mind. Wind was cooler than usual. And its blowrate was gradually increasing. Suddenly I saw a white dot far ahead in the sky. It was getting brighter and was protruding lines of white. Wind ravished the people all around the planet. There faar ahead something had happened and the white dot was now like ripped off into small white dots and was kept intact in a spherical manner by some force. It was a scene depicting many planets coming into existence. Then something clicked my mind. Maybe there a world had arised like ours but very very far from this planet. But there, is not just a planet, but many of them with luminous bodies succumbed into it. One day I will travel there. I got up from sleep. Now I knew that goals are always far. You just have to try and be determined..
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Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 5:13 AM UTC
Aim
Some go out in a blaze of glory, some with a crazy, sad story. I am not sure which I have chosen but it may get very gory. I don’t care any longer about the skies I see Or the dreams I’ve had that cease to be. I am tired, sore and I hurt in mind and in the fairy soul I know at this late stage I never will be whole. I do not want to urge it on but simply to not worry I want those who give a **** to know there was no hurry. Music sounds dull, words are boring, what’s left to say all that’s left is for a fool like me to pick a day. No more pills, no checking, no pecking no heeding no worrying, no trying and paining when you stop succeeding. There are no magic cures for us, just pretenders selling dreams and the rest get rich selling us on their schemes. I will go when I go, doing just what I choose to do Then the task of being someone special will suddenly be through. Copyright/1/2014
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Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
A Bad Day
Creamy... Smooth... Sweet... Melt in my mouth delicious How I love your savory flavor The way you sit on my tongue Caressing my mouth With love and care ..... The carefully engraved tattoo Sitting directly in your middle Lets me know that its only you That its the real you And not some imposter Always trying to be you But never succeeding .... Your fun-size ways Never seems to fulfill They can't seem to fill Your king-sized shoes But even your king-sized shoes Look small compared to your Giant perfections ..... I like others But no one else Can come between me and you The love we share is Sweeter than honey Better than money Greater than him Greater than her This love just simply can't be compared This love is so complex I wouldn't wanna be without you Ever... You are the best My baby My lover My honey My shooting star My honey My lover My baby My Hershey bar
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Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 12:00 PM UTC
I love you... my Hershey bar
Staring into stars, the lonely people drink their tears And genuflect to empty car parks and swallow their fears Like Ernest Hemingway, they grit their teeth and laugh ********* a pocket bullet, contemplating aftermath And the shadows bend and grow… And the embers shine below. Geared for success, the lonely boy begins to starve His chest heaving from stress, his wish for waterfall in cars Freeways self-entitled, forcing ants into the gutter While a lonely father cries and the boy freezes and sputters And the doorway opens up As the mouth is finally shut. “I’m not mad, son, you’ve only disappointed me” Father, point the way for me, where is my life leading?! Should I sacrifice my happiness for a chance at succeeding? Should these calloused hands be empty, do I need a beating? You need to straighten up your tie and keep your noses clean. My mother’s eyes in moonlight silently judging me Inhumanity, why don’t you rule these streets? I bite my bottom lip and gaze down at my feet Lumped chunk of nicotine Pushing itself out of me. I want to stop blending rainwater with my leaking eye-sockets, Crying for another with which to share my gold locket, Tossing and turning, wondering where I will be next And for God’s sake, can I do it, am I trying my very best!? Why can’t I get up on time like every normal human being? Why do I always get sick, why do my guts hate me? Why are all my joints always crackling and aching? I never want to live, don’t ever try to save me! “I’m not mad, son, you’ve only disappointed me” Father, point the way for me, where is my life leading?! Should I sacrifice my happiness for a chance at succeeding? Should these calloused hands be empty, do I need a beating? Staring into stars, the lonely people sit and smile Counting all the faces staring back, retracing miles Celestial serenity, striving for an energy Never needing inquiry, embracing the no thing! Should these calloused hands be empty? Do I need a beating? Will these pruning hands deceive me? This Universe is in me.
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Jun 3, 2011
Jun 3, 2011 at 3:58 PM UTC
This Whitest Purse
Staring into stars, the lonely people drink their tears And genuflect to empty car parks and swallow their fears Like Ernest Hemingway, they grit their teeth and laugh ********* a pocket bullet, contemplating aftermath And the shadows bend and grow… And the embers shine below. Geared for success, the lonely boy begins to starve His chest heaving from stress, his wish for waterfall in cars Freeways self-entitled, forcing ants into the gutter While a lonely father cries and the boy freezes and sputters And the doorway opens up As the mouth is finally shut. “I’m not mad, son, you’ve only disappointed me” Father, point the way for me, where is my life leading?! Should I sacrifice my happiness for a chance at succeeding? Should these calloused hands be empty, do I need a beating? You need to straighten up your tie and keep your noses clean. My mother’s eyes in moonlight silently judging me Inhumanity, why don’t you rule these streets? I bite my bottom lip and gaze down at my feet Lumped chunk of nicotine Pushing itself out of me. I want to stop blending rainwater with my leaking eye-sockets, Crying for another with which to share my gold locket, Tossing and turning, wondering where I will be next And for God’s sake, can I do it, am I trying my very best!? Why can’t I get up on time like every normal human being? Why do I always get sick, why do my guts hate me? Why are all my joints always crackling and aching? I never want to live, don’t ever try to save me! “I’m not mad, son, you’ve only disappointed me” Father, point the way for me, where is my life leading?! Should I sacrifice my happiness for a chance at succeeding? Should these calloused hands be empty, do I need a beating? Staring into stars, the lonely people sit and smile Counting all the faces staring back, retracing miles Celestial serenity, striving for an energy Never needing inquiry, embracing the no thing! Should these calloused hands be empty? Do I need a beating? Will these pruning hands deceive me? This Universe is in me.
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