I'm startin' to run out of nursery rhymes
So, I made up one of my own
It's about a nearsighted plumber
That was accidently glued to his throne

Once upon a time, long, long ago
There was a plumber, who I'll call Dale
Poor old Dale had a hard time plumbing
Cause he really couldn't see very well

He'd gotten a call, "The toilet won't flush!
Please, can you come right away?"
Well, old Dale got in such a hurry
He forgot to take his glasses that day

Well, by the time old Dale had got there
The house was in quite a mess
He realized he'd forgotten his glasses
But he'd give that toilet his best

He'd not seen this since plumbing school
But then, he only saw it on a test
And by the time, he got his tools together
The water was starting to crest

He had spotted the problem right away
But remember now, he can only half see
The water was squirtin' six feet high
And poor Dale was only five foot three

He laid his glue on the toilet seat
While trying his best not to drown
He couldn't see where he put it at
And, of course, that's where he sat down

He didn't even know 'till it was too late
He'd bent over to loosen a nut
And that's when he first noticed that thing
The toilet was glued to his ****

So, if you ever need a real good plumber
He's the man for the job, without fail
And I hope you enjoyed this story
About the nearsighted plumber named Dale

I forgot tell you, there's one more thing
About the nearsighted plumber named Dale
That man still has that toilet seat
For the thing's still glued to his tail


© All Rights Reserved

Impregnate your old crock squirtin'
Papier—mâché blackball on the *****
Oglin' for upshot
And whatever frigs our orifice
Yeah Ducky **** **** it bud
Milk the meatiness in a snog stranglehold
****** all of your bazookas at once
And unclench into ventilator

I like dung and tinsel
Shandy ****** fuss
Breedin' with the puke
And the Weltanschauung that I'm in statu pupillari
Yeah Ducky **** **** it bud
Milk the meatiness in a snog stranglehold
****** all of your bazookas at once
And unclench into ventilator

Like a punctilious Zeitgeist's nincompoop
We were born, born to be unstatesmanlike
We can spirt so penetrating
I never wanna croak

Born to be unstatesmanlike
Born to be unstatesmanlike

Rick is such an unfortunate name
it's like ICK with a little extra ERR
Imagine a flight attendant
his name is Rrrick
he's offering you chicken or beef
take your ******* pick what's it gonna be
what's taking you so long
CHICKEN????????!!!!!!!
or *******
BEEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????

he walks away with his tight *** pants
hugging his nasty **** ****
you know he needs to plug it
and you know every time he rips a rotten one
he's squirtin out some ky jelly
into his briefs
yeah that's pretty disgusting
so disgusting in fact i may be driven
to induce vomiting

what you say: "**** I MISS YOU"
what you mean: "**** i wish i could date rick and ******* all at the same time"
what you say: "is it bad to have rick and still can't wait to get home and *******?"
what you mean: "his *** is as loose as a cannon, i regret choosing his *** over yours."
what you say: "I need someone more on my level."
what you mean: "hes willing to **** at any given second of the day.. you were too much of a **** hassle."
what you say: "Still trying to find where all the YOUNG, WHITE bois hide"
what you mean: "Hi I'm still old, fat, ugly, ***** and stickin it in a flight attendant who walks funnier than I do!"

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY WHAT YOU ******* MEAN
WHAT's IT GONNA BE
CHICKEN OR BEEF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT WHAT IF IM A VEGAN
well then you're stuck with the ******* chicken
.