So I am..
Maybe I was born cursed.
No.
Blessed!?
Thank heaven for so much unfortunate missed fortune.
Coupled with the gift of being right on time to be too late.
The eye of a seasoned ****** aimed sqare at my own foot.
With the other trained on the objects of my affection wisely stepping to safety.
Blessed indeed noone was harmed but myself during the botched robbery of my existance.