I felt the totality of nothing
and it provoked utter elation
as all that was born of sensation
was inversed to none, nothing, one.

It feels nothing beneath or above,
Neither beside of me, no way
left nor right nor wrong.

As aeons unfelt
allowed anesthesia
to grip me, held wight
by its dissociative thrall.

I have braved the depths
of eternity, delved into spaceless
infinity, submerged in its chaotic bliss.

I dared to immerse myself in it.
Low and behold, the M-hole.

The tension,
did you feel it too?
Pulling you-to-me,
or was it metoyou?
One moment
an arms length       away
The next,
nospacebetween

Breathless begins to feel
good

loss
and rainbows where two edges meet
orchestras of cellos (purposely out of tune)
shallow gasps manifested in rest notes between the spaces of off-key melodies
mosquito bites and your suggestion that my blood must be sweetest but I can't take you as a compliment;
this is not a time for threats, my darling, nor is it a time for deaths. it is not a time for spaceless thoughts nor for confessions with political motives under white garments of smiles and spices and seductive entices

the breath gets deeper even if only for a moment and then the gasp returns:
     the window blinds my glasses
      the windows blind the masses
       the windowblinds conceal the sun from me which hides my sanity and peace behind the instruments and their voices but it is probably to be found in the rests where the bars meet each other at the edges, where the silences collide and burn as substances react to oxygen and oxidized carbon and I don't feel god and that is startling,

it is starting to sound like a long bar of rest notes
or a mind which deciphers like stars out of their constellations
                                                       out of their occupations
                                                       out of their spheres
                                         like stars unaligned
                                         like lies out of signs in the open blinding sun shining minds sparkling like water after a chemical synthetic process (like most of our bodies) and my condescending opinions on all who give in to fabrications and useless surgeries and drugs to feel
or to stop feeling, or to reverse the effects of
our sadness our misery our traumas and dramas
without seeing them face to face, eye to eye, because to turn around blindly is
so. much. easier.

A spaceless canvas of a beautiful dream
Spaces to see and spaces to dream
Myriad and countless in thousands they seem;
Distanced thoughts of an uncertain kind..
The swift strokes of a finer self
A breast of pain and the womb of death..
The Rampant search of a timeless man,
The Mystique brilliance of a madder dream..
Clawing to lose a searchless path
The Maya of me and the Maya of death
Spaces and spaces myriad they seem

To stand alone and To view apart
An un-poisoned brightness of a fewer whole
froth-less waves of a mid-life's depth
kindled flames, a rocking boat
Spaces and spaces to me they seem

This is real
This is true
I cut, reform, reshape for you
And though it hurts
With penknife sting
I hope one day
You'll accept this ring.

So trust me baby
Though I cause a fuss
I’ll work on past it
For the sake of us.

Lace my pain with percussive cussing
Swear care no matter how you fare
Taking turns, till, we in turn fail
End nearing, gasp through by breadth of hair.

So hold no breaths
And cry no tears
We’ll be there soon
Speak, breathe, forget your fears.

It's true our future’s cloudy
We're over 8 by 8 by 100 miles away
I daily **** up as you tuck in
Pledging, “Rest, I don’t jest figure eights.”

Numbers don’t matter.

And my senses, they’re surely wrong.

So why hold both eyes on you?
And ask the same for me, just as long?
It’s so we both go strain blind
Bind souls and minds together
Splatter glue hastily agreeing to this eternal song
Float handheld in this spaceless place
Disintegrating all the walls that fall upon us.

… Or those we need to walk through.

There, in fantasy, easily we go
Each kiss a taste of the love we share
That we only alone in our nakedness wear
It's clear I would put nothing on or over you
Or dare seek some other exchange
Because without this arrangement
There'd be nothing
Besides empty, pitted pangs.

What is a day when you wake up in meditation
this body is inseparable from this light
and the mellowly blowing signless flag
singing only to one side
and the brown edge
beckoning
nothing else than its edgeness

Skin having already freed itself from the weight bearing traces of the dust of my mind
capturing smooth
the light –
melting differences over the bumpless
recalling velvety longing

not for the sake of the material but
Saluting
the freedom that has once recorded this twin light
long ago
on such surface

for its manifestation
…

bringing awareness about the tempter
on senses
and again imploding its imaginary cavities
on the touchless curves of a sofa
newly displaying the angle of
its wooden edge
drawing a perfect eighty five degree Invisible line
in space
towards the webless corner -just noticed-
where the eye gets relieved by its neatness
and relaxes
becoming the point of a trivalent stillness

This – the edgy- is a sister of these Sofa legs
Four in all

implying itself as a sexiest part of its couch –
couch of a type – as it says
owning each other
now
Like body and sense
in one posture
and in its remembered object name

and maybe ready to unfold memories Alas
if there would be openness to listen
or if I were what it could allure me to be for its charm

but No – it says nothing this time
mending time through fractals of its becoming my spaceless space
with the old radio set aside
never playing more than its silent tunes for those skaters in an etching of an ancient landscape hanging on the wall above since …
since before the internet age
showcasing a memory that nobody knows and can see or hear but smell maybe
beside a winter blossom
flourishing its inspiration

not understanding each other but requiring the same attention as my body does
or as the realization of a thought that I could not run up that hill as fast as that dog –

a dog being observed behind a glass and I am unsure if this observation could have effect on the style it puts to the run

or if my observation is being observed and that may be a reason of its action as such
as if it does so to show off – Really!
unknowing to who or what
and then again still …

AaaaaW !!!! Shut up!

No no no ! I should stop now

what may make a catch less of a catch
putting things of importance of a day on a scale of indifference
and then again what is this nosy urge
unallowing
interfering
asking for order!?!

It is a play.

See ?!
even if you like it or not
I am in and such is
You yOU YoU

A play as true as the one watching
Same actually –
Same as the one watching

Watching or steeped in
Space in Space

and/or
No Space

and/or
non of these Things

nonetheless
A day remains
Unending
as the mind fades to embrace
Wordless

*Like the day
rainbows are manifesting
from the heart of this inspiration

Wild rose

within a windowless, fire-lit night
flickering angels of the holy moment
swarming over top of my bed
swallowing my soulful thoughtless form
suspending my forlorn figure across the staggering skyway & stretching flesh thin as film across cloudless expanses

A riotous, monumental movement in time
known only in it's infinite form, the destructive creator, by the wholly most defeated souls
-those who seek the warm glowing eternal dawn of the unobtainable realm, the spaceless expanse of godly bliss
those who go mad in their thoughts and weep for misery they cannot detect but which looms, omnipresent, as a deranged creature of scavenged bones and pale white memories

A giant egg of possibilities,
we see from inside, its embrio
yolk and white, like galaxies
this rainbow colored  cosmos,
lay submerged within
the timelss -spaceless state,
unimagianably limitless,
indescribable, incomparable
unfathomable and  know not
what or what not,
inspite all continueing probes.

A matrix of 'multiverse' exist
ignorant of one another
within the cosmic egg.
Inside the egg's one puny little cell
you and I fill an infinitesimal space
why try to break the tender shell
and **** the millions of organisms?

Love can heal, make the shell endure
and expand the possibilities, more and more
till the dice from a mighty invisible hand
falls over the egg , one fateful day
and the play comes to a grinding halt.
may be with a whimper not with a bang.

I am a fatalistic dame
*** and death, it’s all the same.
Returning, bloodied, from the war
to ***** me on the kitchen floor.

Slick with sweat, my mounted ride
locked and spaceless, held inside.
To have and hold. Oh! Glory be!
And vanquished are mine enemy.

In tattered furs, my Roman king
fresh from battle, seeking sin.
Age and time, the ticking numerals -
why else do we **** after funerals?

Take me somewhere
Into the unknown
Take me afar
And not ashore,
Where time won't come knocking at my door

Timeless and spaceless it shall be
Promise me a life~
Careless and free..

heavy drips rise from unseen
mind that boggles spaceless theme —seems to escape
i cannot keep it in my frame
the reference begins to blur
as does my conscience of this room
i am and the picture is, that's about how much i can handle
by climbing up i managed to go under
wait, ***** that, i'm going back.

It may be true that we’re
All sitting on death row
Mistaking temporary ripples
For permanence.
But life doesn't touch you
Because
Your eyes are portals into eternity,
And your smile is a wormhole into
Polaroid moments, taking place in
A timeless spaceless plane where
We are infinite.

No wonder the demons are jealous.

longing creates canyons
a row of well behaved days
a new physiognomy for metaphors
the night has paused
no semiotic skin between me and my lover
ecoutez-moi
listen to the spaceless desire
this woman lost in me
my womb chimes, utopia
Unlimited

He slept as the waking sun approached
suspended in time and spaceless animation,
a man seeking to traverse the stars,
he died gazing with eyes of fascination

with a cigarette hanging jauntily from his mouth
and arms hastily folded,
surrounded with charred magazines and empty canteens
slumped, his skin heavily blistered and scolded

his last hours were that of beauty
lost in silence and subdued by its respect,
he knew his time was up
but of this journey he'd never forget -

"It's just.. so.. beautiful, how can I not love these stars?!
To my left lies Earth, to my right glows Mars -"

his ship a silver bullet plummeting towards the pulsing sun
the tragedy of his voyage forever embedded into everyone's minds,
a shadow soiling the pride of humanity,
a catastrophe that we simply cannot leave behind

#BOOM#

#CRACK#

#FLASH!#

feeling infallible we found nothing but failure
yet through bitter determination we still try,
preparing for another man to be sent in the Lieutenant's footsteps
knowing indefinitely that he could die

"LIFT OFF IN... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1 -"

pathetic, egotistic
desires churning out ideas ridiculous, caustic

vying to conquer space, the whole Galaxy,
yet again greed and power drives the human soul -

alas, such does a few lives become expendable

when we seek that one perfect goal.

In my copy of J. M. Cohen's translation of Michel de Montaigne's Essays
Cohen wrote in the introduction: "Montaigne accepted a double truth; the sphere of faith and the sphere of reason were to him entirely separate."

If I were to describe my own double truth, of reason and faith,
I think my sphere of faith is surely placed within the sphere of reason.


Like a torus of Reason and Faith:
Though I can rationally navigate my way to reach the membrane of my faith
What is truly hidden within is still ever beyond reason.

Perhaps through this relentless search of truth, and the piercing gravity of love,
I can one day breach and reach
The nucleus of this ring or Circle
That is Perfectly spaceless
And
Timeless

Seems to me I am doing something wrong,
Terribly wrong to the birthday cakes you
Ate and bikes that broke your spine, but
Spaceless words leave me with pipedreams,
Three years, long and gone but it's not easy
To quit binoculars, I always watch over you,
Obsess over the voiceless words and
Movies I did not understand but I know that
I will keep chasing unless one day you
Pop out of that lousy little town. One day.

I met him standing
In the middle of the lane, awaiting
For some silhouettes, apparently,
For he
Was gazing through the haze
Enveloping the ground of this intricate maze,
Amidst eternities of both
The one behind us and the one of forth
Acquaintance; peevishly there hotching
On his place, like pole earthshaking
Though with not a-lack of grace
This little figure strangèly reminded
Of my own wraiths I thought was far behind me; but never did they leave my soul’s abode,
No matter whether home I or abroad
I always carry them like plummet on a chain
With which all a-way down and down upcoming drowner fane,
Just like pale moon is setting to its further sleep
The same way future drowner does complete
The full life circle of eternal plan,
The one which you could not outran
In vacuous attempt to fool the time
In game that has been riggéd before thine
Name and surname were inscribed in list
Of papyrus and lost in spaceless mist

As i sit on the damp bank amongst the ivy that can’t help but tickle my ankles
I listen to the gurgling stream, and she says to me
“Life isn’t always as it seems, but if you look at everything with a positive mind-- obsticles become easier even if they seem impossible…”
And the trees wave me on..
Their support helps me breathe in ever so deeply..
I’m alive, i’m alive…
The bugs cheer me on to peddle faster and the wind is here to cool me off
And as i let out a big sigh,
I’m not ready to die,
I am spaceless, i am timeless,
I’m not ready to die
I’m not ready to die quite yet

Re political loyalties and honors…
we can disagree about many things,
and I will not **** you, can I say the same

of you, my cross paradigmed other
in the dialog of judgement, mine,
as the extensions discern my worth
as a redeemer of idle words and time
taken for granted and wasted on movies.
Excusing any reason ever used,
needs ratiocination indoctrination.

Faith called to reason, why idle words
force accountibility, yes, shall every man
wombed or un, give a book
of life level accounting
for each idle oath, or adjective
or unintended verb agency,
promised, cursed or blessed.

Reason, between two or more of us, each
brings reason, by now, each who can hold
these words as self evidence, each word holds

a bit of metadata marking our agreement,
mental, mind realm, spaceless timeless medium

thought fitting word
to pattern, instantly, no time
cognationally global
in 197 Wikioedian verses
save, we know, dendritic
tie ins take time to loop
signaling connection made,
- We are the World…
intention flux determind antes
loosed with pre thymus degeneration,
T-cells ready fitru robotic single mind will,
to seek and destroy danger to the mind filling

system
of systems considered nearly perfectly, clog
sidereal desires, in you, wither the kingdom is,

not may be, if y'good,
someday under sublime
alignment instrumentalities
prerequisites, pure yes, intention
seek, the principle thing, id est wisdom

at your core, as any man kind called sapien
2.0, consexual reproducing drive, curious
too complex to not put through rigorous
imaginative allied consanguine lymphocyte
testing at the molecular willingness to smash
the vase, the delicate vessle,
after life as a star,
as a player
at a cosmic level, a bit
in the fluff at a galactic edge, pop.

Yah, certainly, one can unbelieve

any law about God, as explained to children,
any law about believing being mind hats given,

may be reexamined, out from life lessoning,

looking back at how people are paid for teaching.

Reteach the proven useful reasons for the uses
of the faith instilled in Americans by age 20,

or so, it varies, there are young Sheldons,
statistically more of them in India than in Texas.

Similarly there are more good reasons than bad,
bad reasons are often good reasons used
to believe lies with, like the guardians
in Plato's version of Socrates, secret
necessary lie, gotta believe, yes, so
Republican, by definition, a kind of
guardians gotta believe God
chose each one, specially
to guard the temple secret
initiation ritual kinging
of exalted guardians, and
the elite who know the lie, risen
into the rank of Kings secret service guards

almost privy to the whole truth sworn,
to keep secret or suffer the consequence.