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"sob" poems
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
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Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 3:40 PM UTC
america horror story:coven fan fic part 5
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
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1
When no one else was there to save me, it was. It always wraps me in its warmth, Listens to my every sob, Pats me in sympathy and comfort. It's been my lifelong friend. Most kids are afraid of the dark, But really there's no need. Darkness has always been my friend
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Jul 23, 2014
Jul 23, 2014 at 10:35 PM UTC
darkness
My body somehow knows The grief tomorrow holds. I ache and throb But I cannot sob; The urge to cry Stings my eyes. My feet drag heavily In the depths of this valley. Every year without fail I remind myself I am too frail. "You're strong without the numbers," Yet I was too weak to pull you from your slumber. Each March 22nd Feels just like the 1st end, When your heart stopped beating And mine started bleeding. I'd skip this whole day But I'd miss the chance to say: I miss you, lovely little hurricane. It's all I can do to keep sane. The smell of mint Hurts just a hint. The skinny jeans and hair bows I could never disown. I wear your effect On my forearm ***** The pain of loss is akin To etching you into my skin. My hands shake with cold, Though not as cold as a headstone. Oh, how my body knows The grief tomorrow holds.
0
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
Grief Anniversary
An old soul, Curled up on the street. Marks of burn, Peeling skin, Silent cry from the parched throat, Agony on every turn, Howl for food, A sob in between, Or was it the muscles' twist and turn? Why did the burn, Take just the skin, Why didn't the heat, Make some food, Or give some heat, On this cold street?! And just then, A passing gentleman, In a black suit, But without a boot, Dropped me a drop of food, And said, 'Look at that tree, Burned in fire, jealousy and heat, Soaked in rain, vain and pain, Gnarled beyond the shadow's recognition, Death has found him no definition, So, you just rest in peace, I will drop you daily, Life in bits and pieces.'
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Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014 at 4:18 AM UTC
A Passing Gentleman
During a walk through the hallway of the primary school I find hallways filled with turkeys and leafs and stiff scrawled characters. What is Mr. Smith's class thankful for? Flowers and toys and cars and dresses and pink and purple and soccer and skirts and barbies and family. How could you sum up all of the things you are thankful for in one word? At the end of the hallway I am faced with a choice: *What are you thankful for?* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What am I thankful for? Happiness, and family and security and nature and friends. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for laughs and chatts and cries and sobs and games and smiles. I am thanful for ****** contortions and 80s dance sessions, for inabilty to speak. I am thankful for hobos, eating on the side of the road, and for devious scheymes of intoxicatation. Hep beni anlayan bir arkadaşım var müteşekkirim and who listens to my sob stories. I am thankful for singing in the rain. And styling hair in the sink for screeching and howling and hissing. I am thankful for obkirchergasses, for Ströcks and for ice cream plarlours. I am thankful for mentos, and walnuts. I am thankful for bad lip readings and hilarious youtube vidoes. I am thankful for unknown languages and nymphs and for eloquence. I am thankful for good taste in music and for strong opinions. I am thankful for dancing indian pirates with demon chicks and fireballs. I am thankful for two-headed teenagers and barbeques. I am thankful for God and healthy choice prayers, and Hawaii get aways. I am thankful for huge, hanging sweaters and crazy, funky leggings. I am thankful for deep talks about the world's lack of beauty and for poetry buddies. I am thankful for dodgeball playing mice, and poor old wenches. I am thankful for pirate and mermaid adventures. I am thankful for the looks we get: looks of loud disapproval, and whispers of quiet exasperation. I am thankful for golden men and loud singing, for crazy dances with crazy cousins and cute brothers. I am thankful for Aunt Jemima. I am thankful for banging on metal bars with rocks and shouting at the top of our lungs. I am thankful for climbing over gates in order to not step on cracks. I am thankful for amazing humanities teachers. I am thankful for a laugh when the day is over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How those kids manage to fit all of their thankfulness into one word is beyond me. Even the one-word things we are thankful for, must be described with a million words.
0
Nov 22, 2012
Nov 22, 2012 at 7:42 AM UTC
Ode to a Turkey
During a walk through the hallway of the primary school I find hallways filled with turkeys and leafs and stiff scrawled characters. What is Mr. Smith's class thankful for? Flowers and toys and cars and dresses and pink and purple and soccer and skirts and barbies and family. How could you sum up all of the things you are thankful for in one word? At the end of the hallway I am faced with a choice: *What are you thankful for?* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What am I thankful for? Happiness, and family and security and nature and friends. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for laughs and chatts and cries and sobs and games and smiles. I am thanful for ****** contortions and 80s dance sessions, for inabilty to speak. I am thankful for hobos, eating on the side of the road, and for devious scheymes of intoxicatation. Hep beni anlayan bir arkadaşım var müteşekkirim and who listens to my sob stories. I am thankful for singing in the rain. And styling hair in the sink for screeching and howling and hissing. I am thankful for obkirchergasses, for Ströcks and for ice cream plarlours. I am thankful for mentos, and walnuts. I am thankful for bad lip readings and hilarious youtube vidoes. I am thankful for unknown languages and nymphs and for eloquence. I am thankful for good taste in music and for strong opinions. I am thankful for dancing indian pirates with demon chicks and fireballs. I am thankful for two-headed teenagers and barbeques. I am thankful for God and healthy choice prayers, and Hawaii get aways. I am thankful for huge, hanging sweaters and crazy, funky leggings. I am thankful for deep talks about the world's lack of beauty and for poetry buddies. I am thankful for dodgeball playing mice, and poor old wenches. I am thankful for pirate and mermaid adventures. I am thankful for the looks we get: looks of loud disapproval, and whispers of quiet exasperation. I am thankful for golden men and loud singing, for crazy dances with crazy cousins and cute brothers. I am thankful for Aunt Jemima. I am thankful for banging on metal bars with rocks and shouting at the top of our lungs. I am thankful for climbing over gates in order to not step on cracks. I am thankful for amazing humanities teachers. I am thankful for a laugh when the day is over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How those kids manage to fit all of their thankfulness into one word is beyond me. Even the one-word things we are thankful for, must be described with a million words.
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57
A piece of you Reflecting back The bitter words in your mouth Too raw to speak A poet is Someone in pain And someone in love Someone who looks at the world Through a kaleidoscope Who takes a magnifying glass to each And every Word you say And lets them imprint on their heart A poet is A star gazer A dreamer A chaser of The improbable But hopes anyway A poet is Tissue paper skin A heart of glass And a soul of titanium A poet is A sharp tongue And a gentle kiss She is a sob He is a sigh A poet is The sun at midnight Bright and Burning Hot Alive But cloaked in a darkness They cannot shake The brightest day And the darkest night A poet is The human experience A paradox An oxymoron So complicatedly Simple A poet is A lover Who refuses To stop wearing their heart on their sleeve No matter how much it bleeds But rolls them up So you can’t see The blood stains A poet Is Poetry
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Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
A Poet Is
What if I had fallen to my knees On the cold parking lot concrete Tears washing over my cheeks And cries no one should ever have to hear Bellowing out from beneath my ribs Screaming at the sky Looking up at your face Forcing you (and everyone else) To see me in this godforsaken state Of absolute chaos Heartbreak In it's rawest form What if I had begged you to stay? What if I'd told you I can't do this without you? What if I'd told you how much I needed you What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears Maybe for myself, maybe for you, Mostly for the crowd of people gathering Saying their goodbyes Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions And I didn't want to be that girl That girl who falls to the ground Kicking and screaming and crying and begging But what if I was? What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time, and the one that let go The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away So she kissed you goodbye Got back in the car And drove home What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home? What if instead I'd made a scene, Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go Losing the facade of confidence The charade of strength But I'm not that girl And I never will be So each and every time you leave I kiss you goodbye I unclench my fists and retract my anchors I untether my heart from it's human home And I put on a brave face Maybe for myself, maybe for you, Or maybe For that girl.
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Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 12:19 PM UTC
That girl
What if I had fallen to my knees On the cold parking lot concrete Tears washing over my cheeks And cries no one should ever have to hear Bellowing out from beneath my ribs Screaming at the sky Looking up at your face Forcing you (and everyone else) To see me in this godforsaken state Of absolute chaos Heartbreak In it's rawest form What if I had begged you to stay? What if I'd told you I can't do this without you? What if I'd told you how much I needed you What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears Maybe for myself, maybe for you, Mostly for the crowd of people gathering Saying their goodbyes Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions And I didn't want to be that girl That girl who falls to the ground Kicking and screaming and crying and begging But what if I was? What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time, and the one that let go The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away So she kissed you goodbye Got back in the car And drove home What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home? What if instead I'd made a scene, Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go Losing the facade of confidence The charade of strength But I'm not that girl And I never will be So each and every time you leave I kiss you goodbye I unclench my fists and retract my anchors I untether my heart from it's human home And I put on a brave face Maybe for myself, maybe for you, Or maybe For that girl.
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50
A melancholy ***** we came to adore in mournful tone, finish the tale abruptly and sob, uncontrollably; "Memories of my melancholy ****** including "Love in the times of cholera" are now part of our folklore, this land of cashew groves and banana plantations in  Indian landscape, far far away from Latin American shores. Her lascivious days are over death visits the house of love, blood splattered and a haunt of dark happenings, that begets children with tails, shame, honor and secrets creep out of manuscripts. Gabo is no more, no more"Living to tell the tale" the Part Two, promised before. Gabriel Garcia Marquez, after three false starts goes to his final abode for rest, now. A coded manuscript, written in in classical Sanskrit, (the language of all divine texts of Indian sages of yore) scripted by the mysterious gypsy,Melquiades predicts the wipe out of Buendia clan of five generations Torrential rain and deluge engulf Macondo, ends "One hundred years of solitude". Gabo you point towards east what is the answer to the conundrum of Buendias? In Mexico city they were preparing to take  Gabo to his last ride to the origin of all magical realism he'd return In a land far away, yet exactly the same landscape as Latin Americas we grieve his death as that of one of our own Gabo, in past thirty years, you mysteriously taught us to discern the magical realism of cosmos
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Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
Adieu, dear Gabo, now we'll see your magical realism in cosmic wonders
"No! No! This cannot be happening" The words stumbled out as I tried hard to keep the sogged eye from draining My vision became blurrer And blurrer as I turned and run out of the house Grabbing my stiletto as I did Under the pear tree in the garden I stopped And allowed the now heavy eyes To drain the burning water They flow on like pain from broken heart Bitter and hurt Bitter from the disappointment and forlon From a mixture of shock, disbelief and loss Served in a glass of betrayal and a tray of painful regret I raise the dagger in a drunken cognition For my sob now has become the cry of a damage soul A disfigured spirit I can barely hear them from without in the midst of the caos Those little voices in my heard Screaming out at me Hitting hard on the walls of my mind Pushing my conciense "Do it!" one says "It wouldn't solve the problem" the other retorts "But it will end it!" "Leaving bigger problems" The blood in my head boils The heat rising in exponents The tension now causes my whole body to trob To ache My mind cannot hold it any longer The quicker the better I opened my mouth to say my final words But all the came out Was a scream.
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Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 9:41 AM UTC
A scream
My mom says "frick" or "fiddlesticks" even when kids aren't around. She's holding in some of that pure, unfiltered rage each time a plate is dropped or toe is stubbed. If only she'd just shout "OH **** she wouldn't lash out at grandma or sob uncontrollably later. Someone once said to me, **** you!" and I was happy. It means they won't ****** me in my sleep because they expressed verbal and not physical rage. I was happier when someone told me "go **** yourself" because I went home and did just that. Speaking of pleasure, the act of ******* burns between 85-250 calories, improves sleep & your immune system. Google it. I've been ****** a realization &/or learning experience having gone broke without a way to pay rent resulting in the lesson of moving back in with the parents. We can get ****** up. A couple too many tokes &/or shots of gin &/or punches to the face. We learn the perils of excess. In third grade, I was ****** up by a group of 6-7 kids. I learned I never want to experience THAT uncomfortable feeling again. Why is **** such a bad word again?
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Jul 7, 2012
Jul 7, 2012 at 11:58 AM UTC
The Benefits of ****
(I love) Dignity *tearing words apart, a part of  a joy I cannot explain or share exactly* knew a man once, forty two years gone, died too soon enough, soon enough, he and I will be the same age this man a duck out of water, a stranger in an adopted land, trouble-stooped, a hard life, well lived, never bent, dignified in every step I cannot remember him ever kissing me, tousling my hair, holding my hand, loving me in a manner I wanted beyond  desperately yet here I am, 5:22 am weeping tears recalling him in glimpses long ago seen, adding them all up to get a single sum Dignity. *tearing words apart, a part of a joy I cannot/explain, share precisely* dig in to my chambered memory storage units, unlocking those rusted locks with freshly oiled tears and loving the dignity he exampled to the son he could not kiss, hand hold, but taught him the one lesson, digging deep to respect life and stand apart, stand with dignity. all else will follow the son kissed his children plenty, in a vain attempt to make up his missed homework now the grandfather, now the grandfather is still kissing his last hope, his newest babes, rolling on the floor, so silly kissing belly buttons, smelling their skin repeatedly, in a manner most undignified still weeping the son, he tries to sort it out and forgives and does not forget the man that taught dignity in everything, even, especially, in slow dying, forty two years is a long time to wait to weep. it takes two hands in the dark repeatedly to collect all the waiting patiently wetness and the accompanied sniffles, so undignified, the son smiles at himself declaring unabashedly, digging out from himself a poem, a self-reflection on time tarnished reflections clear enough to make him sob, believing* I love dignity.
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Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 5:51 AM UTC
(I love) Dignity
(I love) Dignity *tearing words apart, a part of  a joy I cannot explain or share exactly* knew a man once, forty two years gone, died too soon enough, soon enough, he and I will be the same age this man a duck out of water, a stranger in an adopted land, trouble-stooped, a hard life, well lived, never bent, dignified in every step I cannot remember him ever kissing me, tousling my hair, holding my hand, loving me in a manner I wanted beyond  desperately yet here I am, 5:22 am weeping tears recalling him in glimpses long ago seen, adding them all up to get a single sum Dignity. *tearing words apart, a part of a joy I cannot/explain, share precisely* dig in to my chambered memory storage units, unlocking those rusted locks with freshly oiled tears and loving the dignity he exampled to the son he could not kiss, hand hold, but taught him the one lesson, digging deep to respect life and stand apart, stand with dignity. all else will follow the son kissed his children plenty, in a vain attempt to make up his missed homework now the grandfather, now the grandfather is still kissing his last hope, his newest babes, rolling on the floor, so silly kissing belly buttons, smelling their skin repeatedly, in a manner most undignified still weeping the son, he tries to sort it out and forgives and does not forget the man that taught dignity in everything, even, especially, in slow dying, forty two years is a long time to wait to weep. it takes two hands in the dark repeatedly to collect all the waiting patiently wetness and the accompanied sniffles, so undignified, the son smiles at himself declaring unabashedly, digging out from himself a poem, a self-reflection on time tarnished reflections clear enough to make him sob, believing* I love dignity.
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81
Fat, fat, fat. All I see is fat. I am the "chunkiest", the "chubbiest", the "roundest" and the "ugly pig". I might as well be a rat, the biggest of the big. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "just right", "average", "normal" or "perfect size." They lie every single time, and hell, just 'like that'. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "too skinny!", "I wish I looked like you", "wow! Size zero jeans?!" and "underweight". Yet, I refuse to touch this cold, stocked plate. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "awful", "dying", Miss "eat something" and "throne of bones". Yet, this body will never be my souls rightful home. Fat, fat, fat. All I ever will be is fat. Even in a long gown and stuck to the end of an I.V pole, With doctors and psychatrists and loved ones crying and begging me to just "recover, please come home!" I am still fat. The hospital bed is empty, My bed is left untouched, There is a silence as the wearers in black all sob and stare silently at the body in the ground. Devasted and hushed... I see them, but can no longer speak. No longer able to feel, no longer live, Forced to watch time pass and hearts mourn... Their days now heartbroken and bleak. My  best friend doesn't speak, she now sits alone, My mother sobs every night, family reminded so often of my presence, The one who secrelty loved me has loved no more, Even my pets still wait outside my door. Those who knew me, only can remember me in the things left behind, Even the sun itself rarely shines. Dead, lost, gone. I am no longer fat, But I also no longer- belong.
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Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 12:59 AM UTC
Fat
Fat, fat, fat. All I see is fat. I am the "chunkiest", the "chubbiest", the "roundest" and the "ugly pig". I might as well be a rat, the biggest of the big. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "just right", "average", "normal" or "perfect size." They lie every single time, and hell, just 'like that'. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "too skinny!", "I wish I looked like you", "wow! Size zero jeans?!" and "underweight". Yet, I refuse to touch this cold, stocked plate. Fat, fat, fat, All I see is fat. I am "awful", "dying", Miss "eat something" and "throne of bones". Yet, this body will never be my souls rightful home. Fat, fat, fat. All I ever will be is fat. Even in a long gown and stuck to the end of an I.V pole, With doctors and psychatrists and loved ones crying and begging me to just "recover, please come home!" I am still fat. The hospital bed is empty, My bed is left untouched, There is a silence as the wearers in black all sob and stare silently at the body in the ground. Devasted and hushed... I see them, but can no longer speak. No longer able to feel, no longer live, Forced to watch time pass and hearts mourn... Their days now heartbroken and bleak. My  best friend doesn't speak, she now sits alone, My mother sobs every night, family reminded so often of my presence, The one who secrelty loved me has loved no more, Even my pets still wait outside my door. Those who knew me, only can remember me in the things left behind, Even the sun itself rarely shines. Dead, lost, gone. I am no longer fat, But I also no longer- belong.
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39
“You are not an artist. You are not an artist.”         What photos must I shoot         How many cigarettes must I smoke It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds Summer vibes feel like radiation Use this alcohol to eradicate The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’ My phone is on airplane mode My ambition is floating - as a feather might - Down to the depths I cannot finish my own sentences Bury my expectation with my religion         And it’s funny         Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic         confrontation         But, alas - I do day-dream         Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four         times         And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious         frames So… I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same Could not fantasize asking Your hand in mine Oh how I wish to cry To sob in any light so long as you are in sight Someone to reassure me, that - yes “There is an end to the night.” But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company. Kick me off the team. I do not know what I need. If I could lead, as I once did. But I have left concern in the refrigerator With empty bottles & cans Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity   Won’t you reliquinish me of it ? For I have sipped the poison of honesty Regretfully it tastes like honey Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
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Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
A Glimpse of My Motivation(s)
“You are not an artist. You are not an artist.”         What photos must I shoot         How many cigarettes must I smoke It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds Summer vibes feel like radiation Use this alcohol to eradicate The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’ My phone is on airplane mode My ambition is floating - as a feather might - Down to the depths I cannot finish my own sentences Bury my expectation with my religion         And it’s funny         Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic         confrontation         But, alas - I do day-dream         Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four         times         And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious         frames So… I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same Could not fantasize asking Your hand in mine Oh how I wish to cry To sob in any light so long as you are in sight Someone to reassure me, that - yes “There is an end to the night.” But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company. Kick me off the team. I do not know what I need. If I could lead, as I once did. But I have left concern in the refrigerator With empty bottles & cans Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity   Won’t you reliquinish me of it ? For I have sipped the poison of honesty Regretfully it tastes like honey Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
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40
She reads                                           And she sleeps                                                       Way too much                                                                        It's her coping defence                                                                                When nothing else will suffice                                                                         She needs to get away                                                        Without actually leaving                                              Because she's too scared                                    And too tired                                             To leave her bed                                                       So she cracks open a book                                                                  To escape somewhere far away                                                                          And she'll sob for the characters                                                                              Whose brokenness resembles hers                                                                                                And then she'll sleep                                                                                               And have sweet dreams                                                                         Of realities that are not her own                                                        Because pretending is so much easier                                                  Than facing reality                              So she'll sleep and dream           And secretly wish she won't wake up So she can finally escape
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Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 6:55 PM UTC
Escapism
She reads                                           And she sleeps                                                       Way too much                                                                        It's her coping defence                                                                                When nothing else will suffice                                                                         She needs to get away                                                        Without actually leaving                                              Because she's too scared                                    And too tired                                             To leave her bed                                                       So she cracks open a book                                                                  To escape somewhere far away                                                                          And she'll sob for the characters                                                                              Whose brokenness resembles hers                                                                                                And then she'll sleep                                                                                               And have sweet dreams                                                                         Of realities that are not her own                                                        Because pretending is so much easier                                                  Than facing reality                              So she'll sleep and dream           And secretly wish she won't wake up So she can finally escape
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22
When the moon sails out the bells fade into stillness and there emerge the pathways tha tcan't be penetrated. When the moon sails out the water hides earth's surface, the heart feels like an island in the infinite silence. Nobody eats an orange under the moon's fullness. It is correct to eat, then, green and icy fruit. When the moon sails out with a hundred identical faces, the coins made of silver sob in your pocket.
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8.9k
The Moon Wakes
The crash of us together A wave caressing dancing sands We kissed with tongue for hours while our mouths were full of glass You cradled me so softly and kept my heart inside a jar I took your brain, made you insane, our adhesive made of tar Can I **** myself with you?  I want to stick to you like glue Our fingers intertwined as they turn stiff and blue The world is scared of dying, Always looking for a sign, But if I died with you beside me  I know that I'd be fine We inflict upon each other pain, despair and passion undying devotion has always been in fashion You hurt me so bad But always hold me after We sob together yet always end in laughter Can I **** myself with you?  I want to stick to you like glue Our fingers intertwined as they turn stiff and blue The world is scared of dying, Always looking for a sign, But if I died with you beside me  I know that I'd be fine A space is in between us now A shield so to speak  But I miss the way it used to be and every night I weep  I wonder if you miss me too even though I'm still right there Its as if now that we're better we have nothing left to share Can I **** myself with you?  I want to stick to you like glue Our fingers intertwined as they turn stiff and blue The world is scared of dying Always looking for a sign But if I died with you beside me I know that I'd be fine
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Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 7:42 PM UTC
stephanus
you are annoying and unfaithful greedy and habitual poor baby what must you lust after now and sob rivers with no reasons you lack directions and standards and thrive on attention of unattractive actions you are eleven going on ten and have yet to blossom we give up on you since i occupy the back burner behind rats and redheads
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Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
rats and redheads
I started with my dress, The white one with the black flowery design. I added my black scarf, draping it Casually around my head, Trying to stop my thoughts from drifting To what I was dressing up for. I slipped on my sandals and then Slipped out the door, Not slamming it because that felt like An ending. I didn’t want another ending. Walking into the church, The temperature went up 50 degrees, And my anxiety went up 100. I shook hands with the extended family, Hugged your widow, And comforted your grandchildren. I made it through the opening liturgy, Your favorite hymn, and the obituary. I even stopped my tears from falling During your granddaughter’s touching eulogy, When she started sobbing up there on the altar. Afterwards, I sat through the meal, Everything tasting like cardboard in My mouth as the temperature kept increasing. Near the end of the night, When the church was clearing out, I went back to the food, Craving a final bite of cheesy potato casserole Before I could finally leave this night behind. Yet when I get there, The tray is cleaned out, And there is no more cheesy potato casserole. That’s when I finally break down and sob. I didn’t get that last bite of Cheesy potato casserole.
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Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 3:11 PM UTC
That Last Bite of Cheesy Potato Casserole
XLI I thank all who have loved me in their hearts, With thanks and love from mine. Deep thanks to all Who paused a little near the prison-wall To hear my music in its louder parts Ere they went onward, each one to the mart’s Or temple’s occupation, beyond call. But thou, who, in my voice’s sink and fall When the sob took it, thy divinest Art’s Own instrument didst drop down at thy foot To hearken what I said between my tears, . . . Instruct me how to thank thee! Oh, to shoot My soul’s full meaning into future years, That they should lend it utterance, and salute Love that endures, from Life that disappears!
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Sonnet 41 - I Thank All Who Have Loved Me In Their Hearts
So I'm just sitting down Beside a stranger Playing his guitar beautifully, Meditating on the idea of how we As human beings can only go so far. As far as you can go Exceeds as far as you can see. I'm physically near-sighted. I'm not sure if it's because of that long ago accident When a tsunami of gasoline soaked my eyes, But everything far is a water color blur to me, Is it in fact the same for you? There are addicts on the curb, Abandoned dogs without a home. How did they get there? I can guess and assume, Without the slightest clue. I'm as anxious as an alcoholic In a state of withdrawal. Did I fall from Heaven like Lucifer? Slightly overweight Then slightly anorexic. I've thought of less lately, Less of fate. Struggled with labels, "That kid is anti-social." As soon as Words *** like fertile ***** You regret the consequence's backlash. Why am I even bringing up **** from the past?   Don't get me wrong, My story is not a complete sob story. Anything I hold back, I will admit and confess and address, Always. Originally written 2/4/11 Revised 10/15/14 (c) 2014 Brandon Antonio Smith
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Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
I Remember Those Black Clouds
I yell and I yell enclosed by the air and yet I can't feel it. I want to hurt myself just so I can feel something So I try and I try but not a drop of blood shed. I shoot and I shoot I clash my cymbals I set myself on fire I bomb the whole **** cloud. Nothing moves. I am stuck in an infinite circle of an alternate reality. Isolated from life. I sit and sob in a cloud of white air.
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Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 9:44 AM UTC
In a Cloud of White Air
the lightning won't **** you the thunder will boom   eardrums squeeze! pop pop pop bust! can't hear slip in the grass dropped amongst bugs and wet smells curl up into a ball and sob you can't even hear yourself sob! lungs burst like eardrums you're a mess the thunder will
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Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 7:14 PM UTC
thunder
I knew she was like water, she'd probably wish to be compared to a sea but she was more like a lake. Still, calm, never moving without an outside force. But still I loved her. Her calming waters soothed my wounds and her reflective surface forced me to see myself the way I am. But still she never moved. I could ripple her surface, make her waters splash upon new sides of her shores, but in doing so I watched in somber wonder as she washed the people in her shallows up upon her banks, sore and bruised down to their hearts, and neither would reach for the other, trapped in the curse of stillness. She assured me she loved me, she assured me I'd always stay in the deepest depth of her heart. And yet slowly, what was once a depth so warm and vast, I found my toes grazing the bottom, and every time I did I tried to swim back, back to where the water was endless, bottomless, yet never could I stay there long. Other people were causing wakes, and fighting against them was becoming difficult, for I am not the strongest swimmer. I began to wonder whether I was still welcome, for her silences were getting longer, her ripples I could cause we're so much smaller, and in my self doubt those wakes moved me ever closer to the shore, and with each step I could take full footed along the bottom I began to sob. I tried curling myself into a ball in those shallows, tried to allow the water to cover my head and tell myself I still mattered. But the water here was so frigid, my lips began to turn blue and my lungs burned. I'd return to the surface and take long breaths and use them to scream silently. From where I stood, the water only knee deep I saw the figure of a man at her center, and as he raised his arms my scream became caught in my throat, and as his arms slammed upon her surface I saw the wave come rushing toward me, the longer it moved the more it grew and I said silently to myself "this is the end." In those surreal seconds I remembered the others, and was reminded of her stillness, and in those horrible moments I knew I was nothing anymore, just another piece of useless trash to be lying upon her shore.
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Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 3:30 PM UTC
A Woman Like Water
I knew she was like water, she'd probably wish to be compared to a sea but she was more like a lake. Still, calm, never moving without an outside force. But still I loved her. Her calming waters soothed my wounds and her reflective surface forced me to see myself the way I am. But still she never moved. I could ripple her surface, make her waters splash upon new sides of her shores, but in doing so I watched in somber wonder as she washed the people in her shallows up upon her banks, sore and bruised down to their hearts, and neither would reach for the other, trapped in the curse of stillness. She assured me she loved me, she assured me I'd always stay in the deepest depth of her heart. And yet slowly, what was once a depth so warm and vast, I found my toes grazing the bottom, and every time I did I tried to swim back, back to where the water was endless, bottomless, yet never could I stay there long. Other people were causing wakes, and fighting against them was becoming difficult, for I am not the strongest swimmer. I began to wonder whether I was still welcome, for her silences were getting longer, her ripples I could cause we're so much smaller, and in my self doubt those wakes moved me ever closer to the shore, and with each step I could take full footed along the bottom I began to sob. I tried curling myself into a ball in those shallows, tried to allow the water to cover my head and tell myself I still mattered. But the water here was so frigid, my lips began to turn blue and my lungs burned. I'd return to the surface and take long breaths and use them to scream silently. From where I stood, the water only knee deep I saw the figure of a man at her center, and as he raised his arms my scream became caught in my throat, and as his arms slammed upon her surface I saw the wave come rushing toward me, the longer it moved the more it grew and I said silently to myself "this is the end." In those surreal seconds I remembered the others, and was reminded of her stillness, and in those horrible moments I knew I was nothing anymore, just another piece of useless trash to be lying upon her shore.
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7
It is your birthday and I hope you don't sob Into the birthday cake.
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Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 7:07 PM UTC
February 1, 2016
Smokey the bear had fought lots of fires, he was a good guy, didn't have any priors. But after so many years committed to the job, Smokey started to feel as if he would sob every time he got a message calling him back to work, to put out a fire started by some drunken **** No matter how many fires Smokey put out, it never seemed to gain him any social clout. His so called “friends” never invited him to hang though all Smokey wanted was to be one of the gang. They would hold fancy dances and dress in their best, but poor lonely Smokey was never a guest. He rented a tux and showed it to one guy, who immediately retorted with quite the rude reply! “Are you kidding,” he said, “Smokey tuxes aren’t for bears, besides, you’d have to return it all covered in hair!” “No,” the guy said, “It’s best you stay home,” “Besides, I know you don’t mind hanging out alone!” But Smokey did mind, he minded a lot, and later that night, he had a brilliant thought. “I’ll go to that party and show them, they’ll see, you can’t just leave out a fun bear like me.” However, Smokey's idea did not go as planned, his first mistake being that he arrived in a van. A van that looked like something a molester would use while trolling the streets for a child to choose. Smokey’s second mistake was his puke yellow tux, the one he had bought for only two bucks. When he finally entered people gasped in surprise, unable to believe the strange thing before their eyes. There Smokey stood, all covered in yellow, holding a cane and top hat he thought made him quite the “fancy fellow.” After a moment of silence there was a loud roar, as laughing people asked, “What look were you going for?” Embarrassed, Smokey tried to claim the whole thing was a joke, Stuttering, “C’mon you guys know I’m quite the funny bloke!” Eyes brimming with tears Smokey decided to leave, but this embarrassed bear had something up his sleeve. “I hate them,” he thought, standing outside, and decided to make sure none of them would have a ride. So he slashed all their tires while giggling with glee, Thinking, "Now they’ll feel bad for laughing at me!” But this was not enough, Smokey wanted to do more, so he grabbed a gas can and started to pour. He saturated the grass, the trees and the flowers, and then sparked a fire that would burn on for hours. This was one fire Smokey would not put out, he simply stood, and then laughed as he heard the first shout.
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Nov 4, 2012
Nov 4, 2012 at 10:31 PM UTC
fatal fires
Smokey the bear had fought lots of fires, he was a good guy, didn't have any priors. But after so many years committed to the job, Smokey started to feel as if he would sob every time he got a message calling him back to work, to put out a fire started by some drunken **** No matter how many fires Smokey put out, it never seemed to gain him any social clout. His so called “friends” never invited him to hang though all Smokey wanted was to be one of the gang. They would hold fancy dances and dress in their best, but poor lonely Smokey was never a guest. He rented a tux and showed it to one guy, who immediately retorted with quite the rude reply! “Are you kidding,” he said, “Smokey tuxes aren’t for bears, besides, you’d have to return it all covered in hair!” “No,” the guy said, “It’s best you stay home,” “Besides, I know you don’t mind hanging out alone!” But Smokey did mind, he minded a lot, and later that night, he had a brilliant thought. “I’ll go to that party and show them, they’ll see, you can’t just leave out a fun bear like me.” However, Smokey's idea did not go as planned, his first mistake being that he arrived in a van. A van that looked like something a molester would use while trolling the streets for a child to choose. Smokey’s second mistake was his puke yellow tux, the one he had bought for only two bucks. When he finally entered people gasped in surprise, unable to believe the strange thing before their eyes. There Smokey stood, all covered in yellow, holding a cane and top hat he thought made him quite the “fancy fellow.” After a moment of silence there was a loud roar, as laughing people asked, “What look were you going for?” Embarrassed, Smokey tried to claim the whole thing was a joke, Stuttering, “C’mon you guys know I’m quite the funny bloke!” Eyes brimming with tears Smokey decided to leave, but this embarrassed bear had something up his sleeve. “I hate them,” he thought, standing outside, and decided to make sure none of them would have a ride. So he slashed all their tires while giggling with glee, Thinking, "Now they’ll feel bad for laughing at me!” But this was not enough, Smokey wanted to do more, so he grabbed a gas can and started to pour. He saturated the grass, the trees and the flowers, and then sparked a fire that would burn on for hours. This was one fire Smokey would not put out, he simply stood, and then laughed as he heard the first shout.
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