I miss it
not the place
but the temperature of being held.
Once, home was a body around me
warm water I did not have to cross
I did not swim
I floated.
They carried me without knowing
they were carrying
Now I return
and nothing has moved.
The streets remain
exactly where I left them.
Walls still breathe the same dust.
Chairs remember the shape of my childhood.
It is I who has shifted
a continent drifting quietly away.
Pompeii.
Statue city.
The music plays somewhere
but the dancers are ash.
They smile the same smiles.
They speak the same words.
Do they know?
Can they hear my voice?
Everything is preserved
except the illusion.
It hurts
how growth is a kind of betrayal
How love can stay still
while you grow wings.
Hold on to me and lie
Say nothing has changed
Say I am still small enough
to fit inside your arms.
Place your hand on your heart
I will place mine on memory
Between us
an ocean that was once a room.
Blood in birth.
Blood in departure.
The cord that fed me
I had to cut.
Butterfly,
Fly.
The garden
no longer knows your name.
Our hearts still beat
in the womb of that house.
And when I close my eyes,
the statues breathe
just for a moment.
Feb 28
Feb 28, 2026 at 4:22 PM UTC
Laying still on my side of the bed
Won’t open my eyes, won’t turn my head
Our pages lie defeated on the floor
Kisses on the wall but ink on the door
Love I refuse to share with new
And so remain reserved for you.
It gives me peace, we tasted forever
Cuddled to dreams, before we severed
My heart smiles only to your touch
Your empty gloves I tightly clutch
As we twirl the days into blank unknown
I sing our song, ‘cause it’s ours to own
I sing and I cry
Teardrops burning dry
‘Till I finally dare look
At the ashes of our book
We pick up our pens in slow-motion glory
And continue to write, each our own story
Our hearts beating on to the rhythm of our metronome
Now, I must leave, but I won’t forget home.
May 13, 2024
May 13, 2024 at 7:39 PM UTC
one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 6:43 PM UTC
He told me we were hanging out with a group
but he came up to my door alone
said the others couldn’t make it.
I said okay and we went to the moonlight playground
as he poured ***** down my throat.
my body was urging the poison back out
as I cried. I ran and I sprinted
but the fence seemed enclosing
I was stuck in a nightmare all I had were the stars.
after that night I didn’t like stars as much.
alone I lay there in the wet brown grass
rain joining my teardrops I couldn’t see
I couldn’t scream. When I thought it was over
people started looking at me. they thought
I was the ***** and he just hit it and quit it.
Haunted by a vampire
draining truth down my throat
I lost all pieces of myself
offering my roaring willpower to him
the sweat of his touch infiltrates
my defenceless skin
but I didn’t scream
his ****** hands dragging as if I were *** on wheels.
and one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 6:40 PM UTC
Fill your lungs with air, they say
These black fireworks are getting closer
Crawl around, it's fun, they say
The slower I move, the deader the knot gets
You're dizzy, shadowed, they say
Apple after apple, only glowing poison
You'll see, you'll see
You'll want to someday
But all I want is out.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 5:40 PM UTC
White and gold horses.
Gracefully gallop away.
Ripe me is set free.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 6:58 PM UTC
Down, down, I was ****** into the hungry ground
Enclosed in the darkness on the other **** side
Phony pavements descending as I strolled
Reoccurring things are ticking away
Every catch is a save
Slowing the freezing and all
Silence dominates my will to say stuff
I’m not supposed to be here, cover me away
Obliged days have sunken me solid
No one told me how to exit this game.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 6:52 PM UTC
Flickering candles of promises, not enough
Being a spectator of these everlasting black fireworks is tough
Beams of convergent love reached an end
Smoky shadows still follow me in ways I cannot comprehend
Being the victim of unrighteous pain, I rebuff.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 6:49 PM UTC
Round and round but no left no right
Rotation is no escape
Blood from the war stained us head to toe
My only treasure, I tried to prevent a scrape
Principles of decency were cancelled
Regardless guilty or innocent, was horror enforced
We scrambled past, two starved mice
As the hunt was relentlessly endorsed
But what didn’t survive the struggle for life
Was my lovely wedded wife.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 6:49 PM UTC
Waking up to the sounds of bombs exploding
Everyday I drown deeper in despair
Running from guns, carrying my possesions and I
Breathing in the cold poisonous air.
Trapped by authority
This is no place for a kid to grow
As I stand here in the rain
I start to draw a Rainbow.
Given the choice between death or sea
I leave the sandcastle I built to drown
We travel for hungry months
Our flashlights anticipating, wave after frown
As I step foot into my new life
Trauma dances around in my eyes
For every breath I take here
A person in my country dies.
I am a puzzle piece with endless corners
Humanity was stolen from me a long time ago
Therefore home will remain forever lost
So I draw another Rainbow.
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 7, 2019 at 6:20 PM UTC