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"slo" poems
inthe,exquisite; morning sure lyHer eye s exactly sit,ata little roundtable among otherlittle roundtables Her,eyes count slow(ly obstre poroustimidi ties surElyfl)oat iNg,the ofpieces ofof sunligh tof fa l l in gof throughof treesOf. (Fields Elysian The like,a)slEEping neck a breathing a ,lies (slo wlythe wom an pa)ris her flesh:wakes in little streets while exactlygir lisHlegs;play;ing;nake;D and chairs wait under the trees Fields slowly Elysian in a firmcool-Ness taxis,s.QuirM and, b etw ee nch air st ott er s thesillyold WomanSellingBalloonS In theex qui site morning, her sureLyeye s sit-ex actly her sitsat a surely!little, roundtable amongother;littleexacty round. tables, Her .eyes
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8.7k
Inthe,Exquisite;
an average human creature should such a mythical exist in a lifetime will celebrate about 2,200,000,000 heartbeats, billions of heartbeats per minute (I prefer moment) but like everything so essence human there are those very few heartbeat moments, the ten or twenty maybe forty total in a lifetime that you total truly remember, recalling the cream and sauce, swell and the hell, of the pounding so slow so hard, each one a volcano of a moment until that day you don't remember-anything when she said yes and you're shaking and beating in a honky-tonk rhythm cause you were heart undressed unsure and truly afraid of a rejection that makes a heart stoppage disallowing visions, to be exponentially happy future imagined you're feeling your heartbeat in your knees going weak, when the doctor says: congratulations healthy swell and/or some years later, I'm so so truly sorry, hell when they hand you a long handle shovel no instructions needed and that scoop of earth weighs two tons and the sound of slow reverb in your head hurts like hell and you lack the strength to move and they move you aside quiet gentle like but inside the temple of the two headed hydra-heart, it's the rock and roll of slo mo, the violin crying, the drumming of heavy metal chords plucked so slowly, it's you froze screaming a billionaire of heartbeats you are, but only ten or twenty maybe forty total in a lifetime you total truly remember with the perfect clarity and forever renders into your own unique orchestral symphony, your true net worth, the stripes you wear upon your shoulders skin,   the tune when you hear it and melts you into rigidity you fall to your knees wherever you are, that is where you will find me, just listen for the cars horns blaring cursing the man lying in the street, re-listening to ten or twenty maybe forty heartbeats total in a lifetime you alone total truly that concert set recall and the win-loss record inherent, inhiment, in both of them, tears and the rents, all there in the tunes, of forty beatings you took, somehow it feels like here is, there was, the answers to where is shelter for the heart, the answers that have gone and come and gone and someone says, I don't feel a pulse
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Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 2:55 PM UTC
BPM (beats per moment)
an average human creature should such a mythical exist in a lifetime will celebrate about 2,200,000,000 heartbeats, billions of heartbeats per minute (I prefer moment) but like everything so essence human there are those very few heartbeat moments, the ten or twenty maybe forty total in a lifetime that you total truly remember, recalling the cream and sauce, swell and the hell, of the pounding so slow so hard, each one a volcano of a moment until that day you don't remember-anything when she said yes and you're shaking and beating in a honky-tonk rhythm cause you were heart undressed unsure and truly afraid of a rejection that makes a heart stoppage disallowing visions, to be exponentially happy future imagined you're feeling your heartbeat in your knees going weak, when the doctor says: congratulations healthy swell and/or some years later, I'm so so truly sorry, hell when they hand you a long handle shovel no instructions needed and that scoop of earth weighs two tons and the sound of slow reverb in your head hurts like hell and you lack the strength to move and they move you aside quiet gentle like but inside the temple of the two headed hydra-heart, it's the rock and roll of slo mo, the violin crying, the drumming of heavy metal chords plucked so slowly, it's you froze screaming a billionaire of heartbeats you are, but only ten or twenty maybe forty total in a lifetime you total truly remember with the perfect clarity and forever renders into your own unique orchestral symphony, your true net worth, the stripes you wear upon your shoulders skin,   the tune when you hear it and melts you into rigidity you fall to your knees wherever you are, that is where you will find me, just listen for the cars horns blaring cursing the man lying in the street, re-listening to ten or twenty maybe forty heartbeats total in a lifetime you alone total truly that concert set recall and the win-loss record inherent, inhiment, in both of them, tears and the rents, all there in the tunes, of forty beatings you took, somehow it feels like here is, there was, the answers to where is shelter for the heart, the answers that have gone and come and gone and someone says, I don't feel a pulse
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49
Ko Ko to Go Go a prelude to a kiss dance with Chubby Checker lift a slo gin fizz Head bobs to Be Bop flip the B Side now mellowtune in monotone two ears for stereo wow! Wonderment of Duke and Miles swinging kool birthin boplicity urban crush the hipsters rush jazz joints cross the city Firery sax emote a clash strain ears of credulity Lester leaps creative heat nips harden on my ******* Max taps exotic wax Django's quick pickin finger snaps flip my lid lips deliciously sippin Eurozone a Zen zone a blue infinitive smokin big peeps dig don pink wigs fat spliffs hot token My new suede shoes walks west end blues Pop's cornet got me tippin his open blast first to last I like cornbread, barbecue and fine home jazz cookin jbm Oakland 3/12/10
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Nov 6, 2011
Nov 6, 2011 at 6:41 PM UTC
I Like Jazz
Mouth open wide, ripped, stitched up the side Telling me to stop running, their tired Tired of dirt, mud, **** things that transpired from a ground level view Screaming at me "Imagine if it were you! Imagine you saw yourself running and each step smashed your brain in! We are tired! Just let us die, get some new cronies, pick on some new guys." Beat to death, then beaten again SLO, Santa Cruz, beaches, streets, parties, fight circles, thrown on the roof Hoping they'll die soon and be reborn as some brand new shoes
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Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 3:37 AM UTC
Dead, Beat Shoes
Iym onna mishon forra gerl krossing China jus to si her ona slo chrayn going west krossing mouwntins in my kot. Shis onna mishon for tha boi fly eirchina for to si mi bundling legings inna bag wot to bring and wot to not bring your person bring your boots spanix boots and spanix wyn put your bodi in this plays taiwan boox and qinese wyn i wil sit heer lyk an ox wayting unda shaydi tri wayting hyuman wil tu find me pat my **** and skweez my ni qyneez wyn qyneez wyn wyn in qyneez qyneez wyn pump my rat and wyn qyneez shaydi tri with pengyou lao thingking hyuman tu gud tu mi wy *** look for stinki kao
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Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012 at 8:47 PM UTC
Pidgin Tongued
Snatched me up From a bored volcano Washed me down Scrubbed my soul-hole Of sincere shame, Rejection and dejection Knelt down to pray Before me and the Almighty Swirling down Dirt spins in slo-mo Went down the drain Echoing choking gasps Wrapped me warmly With your eerie love Filled me up! As if you don't know You've won again Stitched my open heart Smash a cup On the floor behind me Give me a breakdown Cup of mo-jo Hot seering pain My selfish violations Smelling so tidy Like a lonesome clown I give in Time is so slow - Ignoring blame, I linger in consolation
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Aug 11, 2012
Aug 11, 2012 at 9:56 AM UTC
Bored Volcano
My mind is a stuffed disease through clouded eyes and 
my face feels faint and shallow. Quiet hands and drooling lids; slo
bb
er. Broken confidence through months of solitude 
hidden feelings that showed their presence 
between self doubt.
 The way she smiles 
or the way she looks at you how every girl wants a boy to look at her. 
I know she wants
 me
 to stretch hands; titillating. I swallow nerves and puke. Disgorged in my throat, 
she sat. 
Smiling up at me, 
her face so hopeful, her hands stretched 
like mine once stretched to him. 
Away she walks beyond my mind frisking her feet, 
nuzzled in.
 I want to keep her. 
Hold her against my chest and live like primary school kids. 
In single beds
 with christian hands 
looking for God in paper notebooks. 
That extended grip, and I don’t know how to touch her
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Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 4:24 AM UTC
I don't know how to touch her
Sunday morning lie-in, she, ny times newspaper reading, contentedly dress perusing-shopping, in the bed both, but separated by the distance of the electronic void i am raven tapping poe poems on my diminutive IPhone, twenty four inches distant from her lips no notice taken of the man so overcome writing his Sunday morn poems that are drawn so deep from places that make him so so so glad good quality weeping can be best performed silently noticing that - he writes best when writing of others, mostly, you - he writes when the rented invisibility cloak covers his face and the wellspring offers him a choice; write weep and tear or write weep and bawl or just quit everything whimsy laughs at his slo 'mo nonsense his choices this tough guy supporting a mountain of others, the inversion of his inverted triangle, him holding up the world the worrisome grief that wears him down best released in tears when writing about you, go figger and you notice stupid stuff like why we use 'and' when it just ain't necesssry how the core of 'believe' is lie that ** ** ** rhymes with woe woe woe and that 24 inches is quite the distance when you are ** ** ** weeping and she don't notice and how hard writing only love poetry can be even twenty four inches from your nose
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Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 10:19 AM UTC
24 inches of silent weeping no seeing
. Even after visits to apartments in self-named cities to see soccer stars swathed in orange tuxes, Swerving off country roads in berating fits of tenderness, Sputtering 'i love yous' in ditches and river canals; Even after chais with Ye Ye Elders, Messenger powwows with ancestors, and holding the hands of comforting Harmonies, I Never got it right. . It was a pathetic attempt to join a traveling circus; a passive means for an escape. Who were the Elephant Man, the sword swallower, or the contorting twins? ****** if I know. Buddy had his hands wrapped around my neck in a nihilist noose so tight that it bubbled up amaurotic visions within my retina. I couldn't see or feel a ******* thing. Lost consciousness on his cold bathroom tiles, sprinkled with ***** confetti, **** all up on my cheek.idonthavetimeforthis!sleeponthecouch! Watching 'Teach Yourself Circus!' videos at circus camp, I learned to juggle, albeit groggy and disoriented. Only brightly coloured ***** at this point but I was up to seven tosses! While the freaks and geeks headed to carousels in the big top tent, I headed back to my dilapidated den leased on a broken Concord. getoutbitchgetoutbitch Back at camp ( hazy lazy crazy ) rivets affixed so I could only stare forward at the wall. An e.ch-o-y sound in my left  ear voice reverberating down thru t h e w e l l   past    t    h    e    b  u  c    k  e  t I turned my head, slo-mo tracers flashed in warp speed, glacial stares softened into slushy moss. A buttery soft cashmere reply,                                       i'm sorry? what did you say?                                                              you seem nice... . Infrastructure collapsed.     **** Gone. Crumbled in a heap of rubble. Impaled by rebar and rebar erections. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. in a black plastic sack And....then.... Who's to say about the linear sequence of events, anyway? .
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Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 11:29 PM UTC
~ Hop into my Cabrio I'll explain everything on the Autobahn ~ .
. Even after visits to apartments in self-named cities to see soccer stars swathed in orange tuxes, Swerving off country roads in berating fits of tenderness, Sputtering 'i love yous' in ditches and river canals; Even after chais with Ye Ye Elders, Messenger powwows with ancestors, and holding the hands of comforting Harmonies, I Never got it right. . It was a pathetic attempt to join a traveling circus; a passive means for an escape. Who were the Elephant Man, the sword swallower, or the contorting twins? ****** if I know. Buddy had his hands wrapped around my neck in a nihilist noose so tight that it bubbled up amaurotic visions within my retina. I couldn't see or feel a ******* thing. Lost consciousness on his cold bathroom tiles, sprinkled with ***** confetti, **** all up on my cheek.idonthavetimeforthis!sleeponthecouch! Watching 'Teach Yourself Circus!' videos at circus camp, I learned to juggle, albeit groggy and disoriented. Only brightly coloured ***** at this point but I was up to seven tosses! While the freaks and geeks headed to carousels in the big top tent, I headed back to my dilapidated den leased on a broken Concord. getoutbitchgetoutbitch Back at camp ( hazy lazy crazy ) rivets affixed so I could only stare forward at the wall. An e.ch-o-y sound in my left  ear voice reverberating down thru t h e w e l l   past    t    h    e    b  u  c    k  e  t I turned my head, slo-mo tracers flashed in warp speed, glacial stares softened into slushy moss. A buttery soft cashmere reply,                                       i'm sorry? what did you say?                                                              you seem nice... . Infrastructure collapsed.     **** Gone. Crumbled in a heap of rubble. Impaled by rebar and rebar erections. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. in a black plastic sack And....then.... Who's to say about the linear sequence of events, anyway? .
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52
The city is windy, today.   Certainly noisy, everyday, Compared to my country life. Tall buildings glimmer, Streets boisterous with sounds of people and machines. Excitement! Opportunity! Urgency! Country life, by comparison,  stiller, Slo wer, Ex pan sive. Both are good I tell myself. I am still flexible, I tell myself. Then, verily it dawns on me, with unfamiliar panic and relief, that my stretching-bending days are over. I want to ride like the wind to where my being has despite itself, taken root. Where the nomad has inadvertently pitched A more permanent tent. 30 years after roaming ill-suited ground my Restless Soul was cleverly tricked to settle where nature, in all her glory and quiet magnificence, crowds the land. Amen.
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Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 4:40 AM UTC
Promise land
There is such peace in nature. The absence of filling time with words, emotions and opinions. Just. Being. Still. When I close my mouth and open my heart to her fierce stillness, I find a part of myself so grounded and complete. Just. As. I. Am. FOMO has been driving this bus for too long now. I think I’ll turn the keys over to SLO-MO for a while instead.
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Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 3:14 PM UTC
SLO-MO
When the words won't come I feel numb, empty inside On a slow ride Wanting to go faster I sit waiting, for stimulus, motivation Any sign of animation in this head of mine Waiting for the literary spark My mind drips like a tap, drip, drip Everything in slo mo Need the words to grow Blossom, bloom Then It hits me A seed, a kernel I feel the infernal rattlings Of cogs that begin to turn I feel it, a flutter, a thought Emerging like a butterfly Words multiply I write The words spill like a waterfall Soaking my senses, breaking down fences I am hydrated again
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Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 7:26 AM UTC
DRY
Busy busy always on the go, in constant motion no time for slo mo. Stop in smell the rose's they always say, that's right I forgot I was supposed to plant them today. You tell me to look up and see the ocean blue sky, all the endless clouds that shift and move before my eyes. But I'll never know I don't have time to look up. Scared if I do so I'll run out of luck, trip over a crack and get stuck in a muck. I'm to caught up in the little thing's to find beauty in anything,
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Jun 17, 2016
Jun 17, 2016 at 12:44 PM UTC
Busy
Found my slice of paradise on the southern coast today. Although I felt ill prepared at first: cycling in my climbing shoes (the only shoes I found tossed in my car), no helmet, and nothing but a large body of salt water at the end of the trail to quench my thirst for refreshment, perhaps what I was most unprepared for was this small patch of sand I stumbled across at the edge of the lagoon, much unlike the pristine white sandy beaches with ******** clad women that embody San Diego County, this slice of shoreline is squeezed by a motel parking lot to the north and tightly packed condos to the south and seems rugged and uncombed, like an abandoned lot the city had intended to develop before the recession but instead left it to sit, collecting seaweed and mangy seagulls. Slightly windy, home to an unwelcoming rip current, and the view of the freeway not far behind me, this was paradise. My unkempt paradise. Although a few scattered families littered the sand, who somehow felt like intruders to a secret jewel I had just discovered, I still felt that this was my new patch of sanity. I felt a strong urge to keep it a protected secret matched with a sense of pride in finding it and the desire to share this hidden sense of serenity with all my friends on the central coast; bring them here to christen it with the free-spirited energy I had unwillingly left behind. But instead I left that decision for another day, rolled out my yoga mat I had haphazardly strapped to my back, and started my Vinyasa flow with a view of the Pacific Ocean; a sputtering plane engine was my mental Sanskrit, the tide my metronome for breath. Even the stares of my fellow beach-dwellers wouldn’t deter me from this spot. I had left my mark near the lifeguard tower, a skinny path from my tires and a rectangular imprint of my mat that said: I'll be back. Perhaps what sealed the deal was the sign I passed as I pedaled away: Bicycle Friendly Community. Yep, maybe this could be a home away from SLO.
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Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 2:05 AM UTC
Paradise [Found]
Found my slice of paradise on the southern coast today. Although I felt ill prepared at first: cycling in my climbing shoes (the only shoes I found tossed in my car), no helmet, and nothing but a large body of salt water at the end of the trail to quench my thirst for refreshment, perhaps what I was most unprepared for was this small patch of sand I stumbled across at the edge of the lagoon, much unlike the pristine white sandy beaches with ******** clad women that embody San Diego County, this slice of shoreline is squeezed by a motel parking lot to the north and tightly packed condos to the south and seems rugged and uncombed, like an abandoned lot the city had intended to develop before the recession but instead left it to sit, collecting seaweed and mangy seagulls. Slightly windy, home to an unwelcoming rip current, and the view of the freeway not far behind me, this was paradise. My unkempt paradise. Although a few scattered families littered the sand, who somehow felt like intruders to a secret jewel I had just discovered, I still felt that this was my new patch of sanity. I felt a strong urge to keep it a protected secret matched with a sense of pride in finding it and the desire to share this hidden sense of serenity with all my friends on the central coast; bring them here to christen it with the free-spirited energy I had unwillingly left behind. But instead I left that decision for another day, rolled out my yoga mat I had haphazardly strapped to my back, and started my Vinyasa flow with a view of the Pacific Ocean; a sputtering plane engine was my mental Sanskrit, the tide my metronome for breath. Even the stares of my fellow beach-dwellers wouldn’t deter me from this spot. I had left my mark near the lifeguard tower, a skinny path from my tires and a rectangular imprint of my mat that said: I'll be back. Perhaps what sealed the deal was the sign I passed as I pedaled away: Bicycle Friendly Community. Yep, maybe this could be a home away from SLO.
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8
Sweetheart--singles' night Slick fake leather dream. The long pink cigarette choked between Passion-fire red top And hell bent bottom lip Delicious breath-- A car crash in your eyes. The spike-heeled goddess who never loved roses. You show your eye teeth in that Slo gin smile. Those thighs of yours speak to me In another illegal language A freight train made of flesh.
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Oct 30, 2011
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:46 PM UTC
Carnivore
Here’s to scrumptious nights. cats and boots and cats and boots We went clubbing last night, to recalibrate ourselves on the dance floor, where magic happens. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots To focus on sensory experiences, the beat, and share in the fun and tangible sense of freedom. cats and boots and cats and boots Feel the wave, show your energy, be the wave cats and boots and cats and boots be disheveled, swing your hair like a weapon abandon, silly, self-protecting vanities cats and boots and cats and boots flashing lights on dancing figures make it all seem slo-mo and extreme. cats and boots and cats and boots It’s been too long since we’ve done it like this. Work-worn, I’d lost my lucidity and stumbled badly on a quiz. Lisa pushed my books onto the floor, declaring, “Get UP, we’re grabbing some bliss.” cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots failure has a reality, a gravity and pull all the more shocking in relief. I’d started out the evening gloomy and ashamed - a figure of regret - but I’m better now, buoyed and recharged and soon I’ll have a plan - hopefully. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots There was a guy there, on the dance floor, who looked like a young Leonardo DiCaprio. We made eye contact, nodding and smiling at each other in motion. We gyrated, together, sort of, for a second, in our separate orbits - no conversation I just watched him for a moment or two, sexualizing him like eye candy. Just seeing him was sensual fun and I wondered what he smelled like. He had a gritty, sweaty, idealized beauty, like a dancing ‘David’ that no Michelangelo could ever capture in stiff granite sculpture. The music ended - momentarily - we knew it would start up again and we were there for it - til 1 or 2 am anyway - then it recranked. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and.. Lisa grabbed my hand, jerking me onto the dance floor almost before I could set down my drink. Eeek! “Slow Down!” I yelled, but my complaint was lost in the din and my involuntary laugh. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and.. . . Songs for this: Dance To This (feat. Ariana Grande) by Troye Sivan Good Time Girl (feat. Charlie Barker) by Sofi Tukker
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Sep 28, 2024
Sep 28, 2024 at 8:14 AM UTC
cats and boots
Here’s to scrumptious nights. cats and boots and cats and boots We went clubbing last night, to recalibrate ourselves on the dance floor, where magic happens. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots To focus on sensory experiences, the beat, and share in the fun and tangible sense of freedom. cats and boots and cats and boots Feel the wave, show your energy, be the wave cats and boots and cats and boots be disheveled, swing your hair like a weapon abandon, silly, self-protecting vanities cats and boots and cats and boots flashing lights on dancing figures make it all seem slo-mo and extreme. cats and boots and cats and boots It’s been too long since we’ve done it like this. Work-worn, I’d lost my lucidity and stumbled badly on a quiz. Lisa pushed my books onto the floor, declaring, “Get UP, we’re grabbing some bliss.” cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots failure has a reality, a gravity and pull all the more shocking in relief. I’d started out the evening gloomy and ashamed - a figure of regret - but I’m better now, buoyed and recharged and soon I’ll have a plan - hopefully. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots There was a guy there, on the dance floor, who looked like a young Leonardo DiCaprio. We made eye contact, nodding and smiling at each other in motion. We gyrated, together, sort of, for a second, in our separate orbits - no conversation I just watched him for a moment or two, sexualizing him like eye candy. Just seeing him was sensual fun and I wondered what he smelled like. He had a gritty, sweaty, idealized beauty, like a dancing ‘David’ that no Michelangelo could ever capture in stiff granite sculpture. The music ended - momentarily - we knew it would start up again and we were there for it - til 1 or 2 am anyway - then it recranked. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and.. Lisa grabbed my hand, jerking me onto the dance floor almost before I could set down my drink. Eeek! “Slow Down!” I yelled, but my complaint was lost in the din and my involuntary laugh. cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and.. . . Songs for this: Dance To This (feat. Ariana Grande) by Troye Sivan Good Time Girl (feat. Charlie Barker) by Sofi Tukker
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43
Thanksgiving Menu Planning for Gaining and Losing ~~~ having shed thirty pounds plus, another X more yet required, to be forever properly de-cored, a happy subtracted scoring part too, brought the curtain going down on a seven year insanity, paid off the forever divorcing ***** that weight worth more than a Venetian pound of flesh now finding myself in a re-entry orbit, though hardly gliding, encased in a capsule, friction glowing gold the now never~ending calorie counting and exercise rituals, in every aspect of life, all friendly devils of relentless, demanding utter devotions, all watching, wondering, watering, endlessly, a new perennial flowering of a leaf, all watchdogs of the truth serum called what if? what if had I lived my prior lazy loose life, with the current rigor of daily barefaced truth I would never have made choices that have redline scarred, some made back in 1975, into a forty year losing war, spiral declination that permitted the insidious, slo-mo of decay, that could be, would be, reversed only by this recent heart and soul surgery *nowadays, menu plan my life's every actionable choice, limiting the sugared foolishness from the decay one can coat themselves in, survival lies and refrigerator drugs, until sleep~rest intervenes what shall I eat, what shall I choose, what will be this day's life choices from the menu, answering daily inquiries from Oliver and Siri (1), acknowledging that more-than-occasional slippage will occur, but taking no true satisfaction from the periodicself-cheating, always daily weigh myself twice, first my body, then, my soul, upon the rising, upon the setting* ***to see quantifiable what I have, thankfully  yet to gain by losing*** ~~~ Thanksgiving Day 2015
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Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
Thanksgiving Menu Planning for Gaining and Losing
Thanksgiving Menu Planning for Gaining and Losing ~~~ having shed thirty pounds plus, another X more yet required, to be forever properly de-cored, a happy subtracted scoring part too, brought the curtain going down on a seven year insanity, paid off the forever divorcing ***** that weight worth more than a Venetian pound of flesh now finding myself in a re-entry orbit, though hardly gliding, encased in a capsule, friction glowing gold the now never~ending calorie counting and exercise rituals, in every aspect of life, all friendly devils of relentless, demanding utter devotions, all watching, wondering, watering, endlessly, a new perennial flowering of a leaf, all watchdogs of the truth serum called what if? what if had I lived my prior lazy loose life, with the current rigor of daily barefaced truth I would never have made choices that have redline scarred, some made back in 1975, into a forty year losing war, spiral declination that permitted the insidious, slo-mo of decay, that could be, would be, reversed only by this recent heart and soul surgery *nowadays, menu plan my life's every actionable choice, limiting the sugared foolishness from the decay one can coat themselves in, survival lies and refrigerator drugs, until sleep~rest intervenes what shall I eat, what shall I choose, what will be this day's life choices from the menu, answering daily inquiries from Oliver and Siri (1), acknowledging that more-than-occasional slippage will occur, but taking no true satisfaction from the periodicself-cheating, always daily weigh myself twice, first my body, then, my soul, upon the rising, upon the setting* ***to see quantifiable what I have, thankfully  yet to gain by losing*** ~~~ Thanksgiving Day 2015
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71
I left you very long ago To you, my baby, I said no. T’was like a movie in slo-mo, I just stood there, and I watched you go. Now have none to watch my back No one to fill that which I lack No one to make me lose all track Of time. Oh, silence doth attack. I thought I didn’t need you I need to clearly see through The lies, but they were true. I’m back to old, and broken new. Just go. You don’t deserve me, Though I scream, forever empty. Never good enough. Never shall I see: You’re my water; I’m a tree. I draw this X upon my chest With knife and blood and gory rest To show what’s there: naught but void. Your heart’s not here, and mine’s destroyed. Don’t care if you were right or not, My heart’s not even here to rot. Don’t preserve it; throw away. I don’t deserve it. Dead I stay. Cut it out? I can no more. You did already, blood and gore. In madness, shoved you to the floor. For all the ravings, I’m the ***** No longer have angelic wings Of yours to sooth me, nor any rings Of promise. None of this can sing Because I don’t have anything. Nothing but this X upon my chest With knife and blood and gory rest To show what’s there: naught but void. Your heart’s not here, and mine’s destroyed. Don’t care if you are right or not, My heart’s not here to rot. Don’t preserve it; throw away. I don’t deserve it. Dead I stay. Yes, it really is still there. Staring from its angry glare Red eyes burning like a flare It cloaks my breast, when even bare. Funny, I didn’t feel at all, When I cut the four-side, evil stall. Empty spaces: chambers missing. When skin tore, ne’er did this sting. I rip an X upon my chest! Forever more I’ll do this test To show no longer have I my best I lost it all, and gory rest. Yes, I care that you were right But it’s too late to save that night. I began and ended stupid fight, And live forever with my plight. Stir, stir, filthy cur. Mix it well, to be sure. Drink it down to make all blur, To curse me hard for losing her. Slice, slash, petty trash. Mark a symbol with a lash. An X to signal monstrous crash Infect it for eternal rash. Jab, stab, to feel some pain Maybe I will feel again. Harder, faster! Make it rain! Blood my sins and errors stain. Mark this X upon my breast, Deeply, cutting, hard I press. Slicing through my dirtied chest ‘Til in the shadows I find rest.
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Oct 17, 2011
Oct 17, 2011 at 10:51 PM UTC
This X
I left you very long ago To you, my baby, I said no. T’was like a movie in slo-mo, I just stood there, and I watched you go. Now have none to watch my back No one to fill that which I lack No one to make me lose all track Of time. Oh, silence doth attack. I thought I didn’t need you I need to clearly see through The lies, but they were true. I’m back to old, and broken new. Just go. You don’t deserve me, Though I scream, forever empty. Never good enough. Never shall I see: You’re my water; I’m a tree. I draw this X upon my chest With knife and blood and gory rest To show what’s there: naught but void. Your heart’s not here, and mine’s destroyed. Don’t care if you were right or not, My heart’s not even here to rot. Don’t preserve it; throw away. I don’t deserve it. Dead I stay. Cut it out? I can no more. You did already, blood and gore. In madness, shoved you to the floor. For all the ravings, I’m the ***** No longer have angelic wings Of yours to sooth me, nor any rings Of promise. None of this can sing Because I don’t have anything. Nothing but this X upon my chest With knife and blood and gory rest To show what’s there: naught but void. Your heart’s not here, and mine’s destroyed. Don’t care if you are right or not, My heart’s not here to rot. Don’t preserve it; throw away. I don’t deserve it. Dead I stay. Yes, it really is still there. Staring from its angry glare Red eyes burning like a flare It cloaks my breast, when even bare. Funny, I didn’t feel at all, When I cut the four-side, evil stall. Empty spaces: chambers missing. When skin tore, ne’er did this sting. I rip an X upon my chest! Forever more I’ll do this test To show no longer have I my best I lost it all, and gory rest. Yes, I care that you were right But it’s too late to save that night. I began and ended stupid fight, And live forever with my plight. Stir, stir, filthy cur. Mix it well, to be sure. Drink it down to make all blur, To curse me hard for losing her. Slice, slash, petty trash. Mark a symbol with a lash. An X to signal monstrous crash Infect it for eternal rash. Jab, stab, to feel some pain Maybe I will feel again. Harder, faster! Make it rain! Blood my sins and errors stain. Mark this X upon my breast, Deeply, cutting, hard I press. Slicing through my dirtied chest ‘Til in the shadows I find rest.
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72
ol' factory swirling of disinfectant and decay and the arising sliding vision that brings me to my knees, presence like you...and you...and                                                 ...you....again.                   (      (     (    (   ( (scope) )   )    )     )      )                 (      (     (    (   (  ( (like) )  )   )    )     )      ) a paralysis of fear         that grips an exhale                      ...like, serious, for real, for real. DJs spinnin' tunes like yarns, blanketed cocoons and scoring golden booties. Divert into another duality,                 - split -                   (      (     (    (   ( (scope) )   )    )     )      )                  (      (     (    (   (  ( (like) )  )   )    )     )      ) a past, present, and future >>>>>>>>>>shakin' it, shakin' it<<<<<<<<<< like an Oxford comma weekend. A love like, <                                                                                    > and a tsk like, <                                                                  > for who sells integrity on a dime? Slo-mo tracers..... diss....appointment. Unconscious tallies of an inhale or exhale that arises with the all                 unfiltered                    now hesitant                         but, yet,                               here                                     we                                         are in absolute wanderings.
0
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 9:18 PM UTC
And, like, ...
ol' factory swirling of disinfectant and decay and the arising sliding vision that brings me to my knees, presence like you...and you...and                                                 ...you....again.                   (      (     (    (   ( (scope) )   )    )     )      )                 (      (     (    (   (  ( (like) )  )   )    )     )      ) a paralysis of fear         that grips an exhale                      ...like, serious, for real, for real. DJs spinnin' tunes like yarns, blanketed cocoons and scoring golden booties. Divert into another duality,                 - split -                   (      (     (    (   ( (scope) )   )    )     )      )                  (      (     (    (   (  ( (like) )  )   )    )     )      ) a past, present, and future >>>>>>>>>>shakin' it, shakin' it<<<<<<<<<< like an Oxford comma weekend. A love like, <                                                                                    > and a tsk like, <                                                                  > for who sells integrity on a dime? Slo-mo tracers..... diss....appointment. Unconscious tallies of an inhale or exhale that arises with the all                 unfiltered                    now hesitant                         but, yet,                               here                                     we                                         are in absolute wanderings.
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34
be gin and it seems there is so much time left / pro ceed ing and speed ing much fast er a gain / craw ling and march ing the mo ments count down / the tick ing grows loud er the se cond hand 's shou ting and fas ter yet slo wly i'm fro zen a sleep / i'm thin king in slo mo time's spee ding and surg ing a round de com pos ing and what do i mean  ? what can i show for the min utes i'm was ting ? i need to be mov ing like there 's no time left / can i get some where make some thing be fore the end ? move me to trust you build some thing be cause I can 't / ev er y se cond i'm dying i need your breath /
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May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 5:16 PM UTC
ev er y se cond
First, Tom Cochran, and next, Rascal Flatts, sang that      Life is a Highway and that's partially true if you're willing to consider that      coasting is not an option that you rarely have the opportunity to drive hundreds of miles without rubberneckers or blue Q-Tips driving      forty in a sixty-five to drive from Napa to San Diego without stopping for mixed nuts and a frozen coffee      and Smartfood to drive with movie-like abandon without the Thelma & Louise slo-mo sending you      careening toward the crevasse Life is a highway riddled, web-like, with unexpected off-ramps and unforeseen on-ramps and inconvenient detours that take you places      you never dreamed you'd go           you never thought you'd end up but there are      rest stops and      diners and      fruit stands offering organic sunshine and there are      flat tires and      empty tanks and      road crews repaving your path in 104 degree heat and there are      national parks and      natural wonders and      the world's largest frying pan       the world's largest ball of twine        the world's crookedest road         the world's newest you Your life is a highway that is made of      choices which lead you on your own Choose-Your-Own-Adventure with epic battles for good and evil and pots of gold at the end of sprinkler-rainbows and endless hints that      YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER!!! Your life is a highway and      if you miss your off-ramp accept your new path            . . . because there's no going back and      if you miss your on-ramp enjoy the scenery and the cows and the Texas Stop-Signs            . . . because you never know when you'll see them again Your life is a highway and      this is your off-ramp, so take it with           your eyes open to wonder           your heart open to magic           your life open to change                because that is you evolving Honor the view in your rearview mirror as you keep your eyes on the horizon and      with joy       with fear        with electric anticipation Take your exit!
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Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 1:52 PM UTC
Take Your Exit
First, Tom Cochran, and next, Rascal Flatts, sang that      Life is a Highway and that's partially true if you're willing to consider that      coasting is not an option that you rarely have the opportunity to drive hundreds of miles without rubberneckers or blue Q-Tips driving      forty in a sixty-five to drive from Napa to San Diego without stopping for mixed nuts and a frozen coffee      and Smartfood to drive with movie-like abandon without the Thelma & Louise slo-mo sending you      careening toward the crevasse Life is a highway riddled, web-like, with unexpected off-ramps and unforeseen on-ramps and inconvenient detours that take you places      you never dreamed you'd go           you never thought you'd end up but there are      rest stops and      diners and      fruit stands offering organic sunshine and there are      flat tires and      empty tanks and      road crews repaving your path in 104 degree heat and there are      national parks and      natural wonders and      the world's largest frying pan       the world's largest ball of twine        the world's crookedest road         the world's newest you Your life is a highway that is made of      choices which lead you on your own Choose-Your-Own-Adventure with epic battles for good and evil and pots of gold at the end of sprinkler-rainbows and endless hints that      YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER!!! Your life is a highway and      if you miss your off-ramp accept your new path            . . . because there's no going back and      if you miss your on-ramp enjoy the scenery and the cows and the Texas Stop-Signs            . . . because you never know when you'll see them again Your life is a highway and      this is your off-ramp, so take it with           your eyes open to wonder           your heart open to magic           your life open to change                because that is you evolving Honor the view in your rearview mirror as you keep your eyes on the horizon and      with joy       with fear        with electric anticipation Take your exit!
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66
More wiry weeds than hair, they grow coarse black and at a heightened clip from ear-top follicles suddenly fertile after decades of smooth-flesh dormancy. Add to that a stubborn snout intent on lengthening and willful fingers bent on becoming gnarled claws. The horror signs indicate a slo-mo transition from man to wolf, but don't let that put you off your supper. We're all made to fall apart. Creep on over. I'll take a little nibble, and we'll howl at forever's moon together.
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Jun 8, 2010
Jun 8, 2010 at 11:38 AM UTC
Hair in unwanted places
amidst cavorting delightfully, enjoying thorough frolicking gingerly, foreign hick hating slo hip-hopping insouciantly sustaining row biological status quo kvetching lamely moreso mother became pro naturally physically rumbling,    heard all the way in Oslo    supposedly twerking, undulating vivaciously wantonly x2c wisely yielded – nada no    zona pellucida anchored byte size ******    potent embryonic fetal moe newlweds nocturnal merriment    moma's ****** marked march 1959    lovingly joyusly, insemination happened ha low bullseye clenched diploid fertilization    guaranteed germinating heiress    while squaqking lichen Apache at Diablo    ma late mother did should know upon awakening upon tautly stretched exertion    during dilating ****** which jiggled like jello three score orbitz round el sol, warmed cockles    and muscled away brutally cold degrees    tab billed an igloo,    or circa six decades    drafted exuberant ho...ho...ho... cuz, i.e. thencee at 362nd day    baby in belly did fully grow December first nineteen fifty seven    sanctioned newly minted papa      to sing a capella for he's a jolly good fellow    quintessential nascent    kickstarter heady everflow though wintry dark,    a “hi” beam illuminated    newborn girl with dayglow sans, mechanical engine ear    papa (an honorably discharged army vet)    all spit and shine groom,    who wed a bride somewhat callow first time parents with giddiness did saul fully bellow Boyce and Harriet Harriet countenance    twas (like an elf on Christmas eve) all aglow. -------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sis – I knew not what else to do thus, this poem crafted fur ewe a doe ting maternal gal – whose time on Earth flew
0
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 1:09 AM UTC
Patterson, New Jersey circa December 1st, 1959
amidst cavorting delightfully, enjoying thorough frolicking gingerly, foreign hick hating slo hip-hopping insouciantly sustaining row biological status quo kvetching lamely moreso mother became pro naturally physically rumbling,    heard all the way in Oslo    supposedly twerking, undulating vivaciously wantonly x2c wisely yielded – nada no    zona pellucida anchored byte size ******    potent embryonic fetal moe newlweds nocturnal merriment    moma's ****** marked march 1959    lovingly joyusly, insemination happened ha low bullseye clenched diploid fertilization    guaranteed germinating heiress    while squaqking lichen Apache at Diablo    ma late mother did should know upon awakening upon tautly stretched exertion    during dilating ****** which jiggled like jello three score orbitz round el sol, warmed cockles    and muscled away brutally cold degrees    tab billed an igloo,    or circa six decades    drafted exuberant ho...ho...ho... cuz, i.e. thencee at 362nd day    baby in belly did fully grow December first nineteen fifty seven    sanctioned newly minted papa      to sing a capella for he's a jolly good fellow    quintessential nascent    kickstarter heady everflow though wintry dark,    a “hi” beam illuminated    newborn girl with dayglow sans, mechanical engine ear    papa (an honorably discharged army vet)    all spit and shine groom,    who wed a bride somewhat callow first time parents with giddiness did saul fully bellow Boyce and Harriet Harriet countenance    twas (like an elf on Christmas eve) all aglow. -------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sis – I knew not what else to do thus, this poem crafted fur ewe a doe ting maternal gal – whose time on Earth flew
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