"shawnarenea" poems
Your touch, a thousand amp wattage
pulsates me into partial paralysis
Our kiss makes me feel like a
slickly, sweet tongued succubus
winged with wicked truth
brings my devilish inclinations deep
down in my core and cuts to the closest
undulations of my undisputed desire
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 12:48 AM UTC
My intentions were clouded
I never knew if it was you I needed
you never had thought that
I would rip your heart out
But now I am looking
at your shattered beating heart
bleeding on the ground
If I knew that that was how
it was gonna be
I would never had tried
wouldn't put you through
the struggle and suffering
I know you are the one
that's leaning on the idea
that everything's ok
that nothing's wrong
I knew it was over
when you sat there talking
excited, saying you love me
and I faintly said I love you too
that's when I knew...
I said with regret
it isn't you it is me
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 6:57 PM UTC
You were like a white rabbit
and I the audience of one,
you disappeared
I am left wondering where
you have gone
Are you coming back?
Surprised to know you never left
because you only gave the illusion
that you were ever there.
I am the fool that holds
onto these false beliefs
of happiness and magic of love
How could it be lost
if it was never found
and how am I reaching for
something that was never there?
©ShawnaRenea
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 14, 2013 at 2:26 AM UTC
She screams
at no one
and at everyone
really she screams
so she can feel alive
she is so numb
she is really just angry
that her life is a like
watching a silent film
so she screams
to fill some void
to cover up her mistakes
me, her first mistake
runs out
slamming the screen door
I am always running
running, running away
I can never get away
I retreat
into the only place
that I can escape
my mind
far from the noise
In my mind
I try to erase
all the pain
the hands across my face
blood spilling
from my mouth
bruises and welts
grazes my body
This is too much
to erase,
to retreat from,
I hide these scars
scars from the life
I'm trying to leave behind
©ShawnaRenea
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 6:35 AM UTC
All the free will
and dark desires
spinning off
into complete oblivion
couldn't stop
that quaking ache
deep inside me
for the perfect soul
I would ever know
I would shake
Thor from the sky
Would have
begged and bartered
to catch a glimpse
of the One
who was given
that piece
of my soul
The sliver that's hidden
deep inside of you
I pay tribute to Freya
and kiss the feathers
that have let me fall
softly into you
©ShawnaRenea
Oct 16, 2016
Oct 16, 2016 at 9:38 PM UTC
I lost yet found
a piece of myself
there with you
in the moonlight
I lost my heart
it is no longer mine
but now lies inside yours
My soul was found that night
between the trees
and water of the steam
I found it in a place
I never thought to look
in another...
in your heart.
I found it in your words
...I love you
Tentatively
I felt them twist
their way inside me
sinking further
than any other
They reach through me
waking a desire
I didn't know existed
A helpless passion
I found it in your touch
softly
like feathers
yet it was capable
of breaking down
these walls
I built up high
around me
You touched me
like no other
timidly yet possessively
you stole my heart
I found it in you
©ShawnaRenea
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 7:57 PM UTC
One, two I love you
until the sky stops being blue
and it turns another hue
three, four I love you more
than the sea loves the shore
from the top of the water to the ocean's floor
five, six I love your little trick
when I lean in for a kiss and get a lick
I scream ewe, that's sick
seven, eight I love you straight
to the moon and now we skate
off to bed, it's getting late
nine, ten I love you now and I'll love you then
I love you more than playing pretend
I love you more than my favorite ballpoint pen.
©ShawnaRenea
Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 7:58 PM UTC
Numb
Why can't I feel
the pain
the emptiness
the need
All I am is
numb
Cut me
and I barely
notice the blood
Embrace me
and I barely
feel your touch
Love me
and I barely
see your longing
All that's left
is me feeling
numb
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013 at 11:33 AM UTC
I dream fitfully needing somebody
my heart is still left unbeating in the dark
I need to stir from this numbing hibernation
A spark to ignite some fire into this cold heart
Please, help me, out this silent slumber
I need to hear your voice, your touch, your kiss
to wake me and make my heart beat again
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 10, 2013
Apr 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM UTC
Nerves
rushing to get ahead
of the
blood
running through my veins
and the
thoughts
treading to stay afloat
As my
heart races at an uneven pace
deep within
breath
struggles to remain
and I
scream
silently inside to remain calm
but I
reach
for you begging to be
touched
©ShawnaRenea
May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 12:23 AM UTC
Take
what you think you need
and I will be there for the taking
Give
whatever you are free to
give to me and I will
Accept
the fact that this is how it is
and all we have to do is
Forgive
us for not being more for now
but we have to remember
Patience
that this all will come around
in the end to find us
United
finally together inseparably entangled
the way we have envisioned
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 1:27 PM UTC
If
my words
were like the winter
the sound
would freeze
before I could
ever mutter
the hurtful things
I said
to you that day
If
my heart
was like the summer
It would
not be frozen
cold and damaged
And I
could warm mine
next to yours
but it is
and I
regret it everyday
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 1:49 PM UTC
Will I ever get
closer
Closer to the thought
of you
Of us and all
we could be
Will I ever feel
closer
closer to this
feeling of us
than I do right now
Will I ever be
closer
Closer to the point
of the fear
of losing me
in you
Will I get
closer
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 1:26 AM UTC
On 530 Twilight
I sit here in the solitude
waiting for the night
For the moment I have found peace
in the chaos of the life
escaped from those looking for their piece
Suddenly I feel the air
blowing up through the trees
quietly stirring my hair
Takes me back to moments lost in time
reminding me of summer nights
at 401 Vine
©ShawnaRenea
Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 6:14 PM UTC
Let this
poet cry herself
to sleep 'cause this
wounded heart is breaking me
The death-bird is spread across my back
wet eyes, voice cracks, choked cries
Why do I try to make this fit?
Can't put the pieces
back together
again
©ShawnaRenea
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 3:15 PM UTC
Forever
the one I loved
the one that loved me
that loved all of us
has gone
It's like the sea
swallowed her whole
A wave came
and washed away
the pain that was pulling
her under
Down
into its calm embrace
erasing her suffering
But now
forever
we are stuck
in this labyrinth
searching for our way
though this suffering
Trying to see the light
at the end of the maze
Looking for our
Great Surrender
Forever
I, we, the ones
she left behind
are wandering in the
past, the memories
of this beautiful creature
who has left us too soon
We would give anything
to have one more
second, minute, hour with you
we would spread that time out
to make it seem like
it is our
forever
for now
with you.
©ShawnaRenea
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013 at 12:56 PM UTC
If this how it's going to be
I might just turn all this into doubt
And someday soon you'll see
what all this was really about
And if this is heading to a dead end
I would like to leave it there and walk away
Like it to end and keep you as a friend
I'm not going to beg you to stay
If I did that it would be end of me
I would stay living with this unhappiness
I need you to know I need to be free
I need to learn to show a little tenderness
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
I willingly walk the short distance
that spans the space between us
I have prayed for this
You reach right through me
like you're trying feel my soul
Have you prayed for this too?
I listlessly look into your eyes
drowning in pools of desire
I have prayed for you
With your tentative touch
you caress every inch of me
Have you prayed for me too?
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 11:15 PM UTC
Never
had you
to hold
on to me
yet you
always
felt that you
needed me
to hold
on to you
Always
there was
a void
nothing
tangible
never
palpable
to grasp
onto
never
was there
any resonance
of true love
for me
to grasp
onto
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 1:48 AM UTC
The realization
that I yearn for something
my body will not allow
I want you to hold me
but it will only cause me pain
The desperation
that this leaves me feeling
is a loss of something
that has never been attained
I need you beside, engulf me
wrap me up tight tonight
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 20, 2013
Apr 20, 2013 at 11:51 PM UTC
All of my scars
are etched
across my skin
My flaws
are worn on my arms
You see
the pain toward outwards
But what you
can not see is
the scars
that decorate my heart
the hurt
was laid there
one at a time
building a wall all around
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 8:57 AM UTC
This somnambulist dreams
of my heart
standing still
and my body lying down
with you, hoping to hold
you but now it's dark
and you are here
in my arms, in my heart, under midnight skies
Await me in the dark, restless land
I am coming
wait for me soon you'll be
in my arms, in my heart, under midnight skies
My heart beats
out of my breast, breaths
fight to keep still
silent in the night,
lover I love to fight to stay
in your arms, in your heart, under midnight skies
in this moment
pulling me under ,under you
your hands guide me
always guide me to you
my bright eyes move over you
I remember how I held you
in my arms, in my heart, under midnight skies
©ShawnaRenea
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 2, 2013 at 3:21 AM UTC
As you look into my eyes
I want you to think of me
as the leaves in a tree, not only
as you sink into their peaceful green lull
but to remember me
as beautiful and care free
Look towards the branches
stretching to the sky and think
of the way my arms crossed the space
between you and I
to tentatively embrace you, afraid to
open up and reach into the unknown
As do all things there is cycle
and change is inevitable
but as I start to age
like the rings of a tree and resemblance
begins between weathered bark
and wrinkled skin, remember then
when I was a young sapling
so afraid of life but ready to live
©ShawnaRenea
Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 7:09 PM UTC
When you are away for far too long
the hours seem so distant
and tonight with you beside me
the night feels too small
The hours slip away
yet my dreams
fit within this room
with you laying beside me
I look into the blue sea of your eyes
You leave me breathless
drowning in that look
The lines I etch across your skin
and the trail of lips
lead me to surrender
...to your love
...in your bliss
Time seemingly halts in our embrace
Trembling until our release
The weight of it all feels too heavy
as you drift off to sleep
I curl against you wishing
you could take me with you
...to your dreams
...in your heart
I will always ache to be with you
when you need to go
but that peace will return
when I feel your heart
once again next to mine
©ShawnaRenea
Oct 24, 2016
Oct 24, 2016 at 10:51 PM UTC
You call out for me
and I've called out for you
Feel you down below
slip deep within
inside my skin
I don't need no boy
I need a man
to fill in this whole
make me feel your sin
inside the skin
I love the fight
of ******* the violence
succumbing to win
to keep feeling you
inside my skin
this is how it will begin
Avoid the break
keep you close
you're to close spillin'
inside my skin
I scream out loud
Keep it coming
I won't give in
inside my skin
Beat of your heart
rush of my blood
I know now
like you knew me then
inside the skin
always
craving
you
inside my skin
©ShawnaRenea
May 25, 2013
May 25, 2013 at 2:20 AM UTC