Im tired of all the lies I hide behind, so Im Breaking the ties to the past
Long lasting present because the past is the past not a cage,
and it also isn't a theatre
So this exsistance shouldn't be staged, cause this **** ain't funny like Bellamy,

You might think I've gone mad because I'm not listening to what you're tellin' me not to,
but I got to, in order to survive, because the self inflincted wounds are healing and hardening,  I'm searching for a deeper punishment,
making life more enjoyable, laid back and not so tense,
you won't have to worry about what trouble I might be in next,
and you won't have to be burdened with disappointment when I fail your tests.
So I'll play this life like a game of spades,
by the time this game is over, my stomach will be corroded with rage
but I'll  keep a pokerface,
hidden behind stoner charm, a smile,
a handsome face & tinted shades,
I know you're clearly blind to my bluffing,
and I know you see me today,
but my eyes are set on the worries of tomarrow and
my mind is still wincing from yesterdays sarrow
I'm alive but I'm dying inside
because the guilt and shame are smothering me,
not to mention I'm choking on regret,
Don't fret, because my face isn't turnin' blue, and my pulse isn't speeding up,
but my wrists are scarred, but not ******,
and please don't worry because this won't happen agian,
not making any promises,
Lord please forgive me for I know that I have sinned,
I just needed some proof to remind me where I've been....

Intrusive Thoughts
A Heavy Darkness Follows
Perceptions With Guilt
I Feel Hollow
Really I See Through
Rationalize
Still I See Too
The Parts That I Block Out
To Help Me Feel Better About Choices
I Make I'm Afraid
I'm Hearing Voices
Reminding Me What I Did
I Feel Sarrow Bleeding Through My Eye Lids
So Many Ways I See In Situations
Making Descions That Better Me
Make Me Feel Anxious
I Can't Comprise What I'm Contemplating
I Let People Go
I Need Myself
I Need Calm My Mind And Free My Self
All These Abilities Will Heal Me And Feul Me
Or Haunt Me And **** Me
No Longer Can I Step A Side
I Take A Breath Then I Step Out Side
The Sky I Gaze Upon
I See A Grave I'm On
I'm Processing And Analyzing
All, Micro Everything
It's Hard To Relax And Feel The Energy
Shamanic Path Dealing With The Entities
I Watch The Embers In Our Hearts
And It's Crippling
To Feel The Sensations Of Mysery
And Try To Justify It With A Beautiful Mystery
I'm To Complex For The Simple Things
I Need To Get Right
Or I Must **** My Self
I'm Praying Lets Make A Pact
Help Me Heal My Self
Doctors Don't Understand Me
There Ain't A Plan B
I Even Feel Distant With My Family
They See Me In The Past Warped
Off Built Perceptions
I Want To Lay On Train Tracks
And Leave Earth
But I Can't Leave A Message
It Would Take Life Times
To Say All My Perceptions
I'm Looking For A Balance Of Peace
Not A Place In Heaven
My Mind Is Infinite And Open
Others Are In A Box
Hope I Don't Get Locked Up
Cos I Can't Knock It Off
I'm Built With
Magick Within
In A Skin Full Of Sin
That Is Thinning
I Can See My Ashes In Dust
Do The Pros Weight Out The Cons
When I'm Adding Em Up
Nobody But Me Can Convince Me
When I Had Enough
Emotions Can Feel Disturbing
And Mold Like
Got To Hold Tight
On What I Want To Be
Not An Old Life
I Feel Like A Vampyre
On A Cold Night
I know Right
Here I Go Again
I Fantasize
How To Shape Shift
Through Candle Light
I Opened Up My Mind To See Things In Ways With Out Confirming To A Single Structure Or Foundation
Battle With Insanity, I Hate It
Sizzle Like Its Satin
Wheeping But I Make It
I See Ghost Upon A Swing
Some Lady In A White Dress
That Dances Through A Grass Feild
The Flowers Dead
Black Roses By My Feet
Is That My Seat
Bloods Clogging The Sink
Meditate In A Casket Just Too See What It Means
Purgatory Screams
The Agony In Dreams
Absence Or Achieve
At The Grave Yard
Writing Poetry Under A Tree
It's Raining
I Admire The Leaves
As They Blow With The Wind
I'm Cold As Ice If You Touch My Skin
Romance And Poetry
Is What I Know
I Used To Hold On The Thorns
Now I Let Go
Observing As Everything Unfolds
Is There A Purpose
Is This A Show
Will The Ones That I Love Most Read What I Wrote
Insides A Symphony
Haunted By The Oak

As I cry
and bleed
you are all i need
when i'm sad
and in sarrow
you are my Tomorrow
as i lay to rest
I see you are
The best

Hello poetry
What's your name again?
Is it love?
Maybe sarrow
All these words
Ill have to borrow.

The feelings are mine
They are nothing new.

Hello poetry
Digging up these feelings
Hello poetry
You've started me believing
That ill soon be achieving
Everything I've been seeing

Long time anger churning inside
blured vison but no one traveling aside
Alone
Handicaped, slowly moveing
Longing to hear your voice soothing
Reaching
Looking up at the night sky
Always wondering why
Questions
Puzzeled glazes burning a hole
all wonder if i poses soul
Pain
Dropes of liquid burning my cheek
Will i make it through the next week
Sarrow
Im broken inside
yet you still give me goodbyes
Empty dreams
These are words
that cry out with depression

I got played
Price is right
Bob Barker ***** made
Cold where I laid
The lies are bug poison
Raid
Heart to stone
What a trade
It was a love fade
I made she took
I cooked she ate
The price I payed
Heart Burn
Some one get the rollade
For ever I compensate
Incomplete never to communicate
The tape rolled on and on
This life has passed as I hallucinate
All yells
I panic
My world's havic
Can't hear nor see
To much static
Times divison minus plus
My curse is mathematic
Drama fanatic
Isn't she fantastic
Its all tragic
Plastic
Sarrow stick It must be black mangic
And I'm the magnetic

My Anger is scaryit brings sarrow to the ones I love, even myself

My Anger brings Pain,blood,tears from my heart

"The war must end at once" say's the person in my heart that cant stands up for me when Im afraid  to.

My soul,Mind, are happy and proud because it tells me to get all that negative things out of my life,heart,soul.

But if everyone checks that person deep down in they're soul they would find everything that's wrong, And just bring that positive intov they're life

My heart is full of love
I try so hard to fit in
And it seems to go alright.
But here I am again
Alone

And yet another night goes by.
My mind is always telling me
That I don't belong.
I need something to numb the pain.
So here it is
This ******
Lost in this darkness
And I'm
Sick as ****
When will i stop?
I try my hardest
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I still can't seem to be ok.
When will this all end?!
I dont want to live like this any more.
Restless legs,
And needles stuck in my arms.
Why cant I just stop this life,
And began a new one.
I'm begging myself to stop myself.
I'm tired of this dark nightmare
I want to stay all over again..
But you see the problem here is I like to feel dead.
I numb all my thoughts and my sarrow
Just By Getting High.
Ive spent over half my life..
Just getting high.
Drugs, drugs, and more Drugs.
That's all I know..
White drugs. Brown Drugs. Clear drugs, rough Drugs, Good Drugs And Bad Drugs.
They Come And Go.
I Hate this life.
I cant get my **** under control.  
I can't just stop.
Destroying myself.
Trust Me
IVE TRIED.

Bare unto me thy demons,
Thy trials and tribulations,
Thy pities and sarrow,
Thy fears,
Thy issues,
Thy problems,
Thy confusions,
Thy anxieties,
All shall be exercised.

Exalt with me thy dreams and aspirations,
Thy goals,
Thy joys,
Thy ecstasy,
Thy enthusiasm,
Thy truths and certainties,
Thy love and compassion,
Thy radiance,
All shall be glorified.

Thou art worthy of this and more.

I beseech thee,
Allow trust to be thy emperor,
Empathy thy empress.

Share with me... fully and unabashedly.

unbearable feeling comes to light
when you find out that you’ve never loved

a shade of ruth and sarrow
a shade of nothingness
caused by being alone
that has never been completed
will make you even more blurry