"safeness" poems
I love
the safeness
and the coldness
of your smile
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 3:30 AM UTC
Here is your handyman, to fix your heart
And each and every feeling ,which is broken apart
Caused by desolation ,and intense amount of pain
Now I'll help you stop,thy tears of rain
You don't need to tell, how broken you are
I can feel your pain,without seeing thy scar
Just free away your soul, and let it have a say
The pain it dwelled inside,for someone to hay
Now I am here for you,to free you from the ails
To give you all my love,and extract your gloomy wails
So come cuddle with me,inside the blanket of safeness
So that I can kiss your forehead ,and take away thy stress...
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 2:48 PM UTC
Free Writing
How curious to be told
to write freely,
to ‘do’ free writing,
and then be given a subject!
That’s unfreeing my freedom.
Thank you, but
I don’t want to think
about this time last year.
As September was
September is,
brim-full of wondrous light
now flowing ‘cross this table
as I write – as freely as I can.
Nobody is going to tell me
to write freely and then
give me a subject, tell me
to write for two minutes
then give me five.
The Memorial Hall
There was a continuity of safeness
in these grounds that frame
this unfortunate building.
Memorable and unforgettable,
the ‘Mem’ Hall was a travesty
by Clough William Ellis.
All balustrades and pineapples,
his signature touch, chosen
it’s said (this architect that is)
because he designed the Bath Club pool
whose famous cup this swimming school
inevitably won year upon year.
Walking with Alice
Grey day this Sunday
And a morning walk
Through the estate
To the edge of fields,
You here to collect
The season’s fruits,
Not to eat,
But for the dyer’s vat.
And I, just to crunch
My boot on stubble
And cross the wide acres
Ready for the plough.
For Jeanette
Her last day in Amsterdam
and a brief break from the Powerbook;
she was playing the flâneur.
In the late afternoon
she came across this painting
in a window, in a gallery
at Van Ostadestraat 294.
She was transfixed.
The painting demanded her attention
and her time. After an hour
(and it was by then nearly dark)
she returned to her hotel
and cancelled her flight home.
For the next three days
she went back to the painting
in a window, in a gallery
in Van Ostadestraat 294.
She had begun to learn to look,
not glance, but look, to stand still
for an hour or more - and look.
She was rewarded by a world of detail
no glance could have brought forth.
She was transfixed.
She was transformed.
Red Point
Leaving the fishing station
to the cows on the beach
through each kissing gate
we passed, we kissed.
The steep road ahead
with the horse and the boy
hid our cabin home.
The sea channel,
the red sand,
the distant rain
glanced us by.
To my children
You’re out there
Living famously
All the way down
And back again.
I do think of you
As birthdays pass
And Christmas letters
Demand attention.
You’re out there
To represent my way
Of baking bread,
Sailing the boat,
Walking too fast,
Winning at Go.
Whether in Qatar,
Kansas City or Deptford
You’re me in disguise.
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013 at 2:38 AM UTC
part i.
my room
clean, precise
ready
a navy dress
dainty, floral
like a little girl
loved
landing lights off
scuffle of feet rushing
silence
in this serenity
i am chaos
soft music soothing
a specialised playlist
could this be an anymore
cliché way to die?
i listen to time
awaiting a moment
sent by a rhythm
02:00
hold on
32 pills
34
or was it 68?
it doesn’t matter
02:30
what future?
there is no war
it’s all in my head
stop
what
no
need
thoughts
out
dizzy
‘help’
part ii.
what were you thinking
are you crazy
stupid stupid girl
how many
why
I don’t know
not anymore
but it will be fine
I will go to sleep
no fuss
agitation
irritable
useless
annoyance
what had I expect
strangers in the room
my room
but the only stranger
was me
I had known nothing less
voices?
did they tell you to do this?
I laughed in my mind
how cliché do they think I am
no it’s just me
part iii.
numbness and weariness
overwhelmed me
bitter bile rose
a long day ahead
name?
address?
birth date?
what made you do this?
over and over again
ringing in my ears
as I answered in the numbness
I had become
a barcode being scanned
not being looked at once more
I fought the urge to lie
well not completely
ward 14
darkness
panic
blankness
part iv.
drip drip drip
awoken to a beat
my heart or
the machine
I wish I knew
awoken to regret
a coward
a shadow
always
light shining
outside
I have become an outsider
ironically
part v.
her scars.
trailing down her arms
I wonder
how long would it take
for her scar in her mind to heal
I make suicide look normal
her screams.
rattled the bones in my body
she was
an unravelled mayhem
in pandemonium
her shouts.
were more like pleading
between herself
and whom appeared
a fragment of a nightmare
her crying.
lasted for hours
all through the night
when she stopped
it was only the crying that stopped
I was the intruder
there was a silence in ward 14
I wanted anything but a silence
to think
think
think
looking at her sleeping form
I wonder
what she wanted to forget
but no
silence is louder than words
I was told I could go home
I should have wanted to
but there was a safeness
a safeness like me
security from outside
as I walked away
the weight of eyes
made me sink into a guilt
that I dare not look back
at ward 14
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 8:16 AM UTC
He was just completing the drying up after tea when he heard a murmuring from the hallway. The sound of the voice made him listen over the chatter of the early evening radio. One of the girls read a story, a bedtime story. He listened. It was about two bears, part of the usual get ready for bed routine; pyjamas, supper, teeth, bed, story, prayers, nighty-night.
He went to the bottom step on the stairs. They were on the third page now. Mum sat on the stairs, knees up, hands under chin, elbows in lap. She smiled down at Dad while their fifteen year old daughter read, her voice became more animated as the story progressed.
They both listened to the end and made play by pretending to have fallen asleep. He was now sitting beside his wife as the story ended. It was now their other daughters turn to read one of her favourites. About a Tiger.
It had been a long time. A long time since those books were opened, a long time since they we're read aloud and that reading aloud unlocked memories, a warm sense of routine, familiarity and the safeness it brought at the end of a long day when everyone was ready to rest.
This was also a new time now. Their girls reading their old bedtime stories. It felt to him like an echo of that past, yet another stage had been reached; they were growing up too fast.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 4:07 AM UTC
To answer your question,
Yes.
It never left me.
It sits patiently at the sidelines on sunny days.
It doesn't fight formy attention.
It doesn't book off days in my calender.
It smiles when I smile.
It laughs when I laugh.
It knows that all It has to do
Is wait for the overcast.
A ceiling of clouds closing in on me.
Day after day, the raindrops won't come.
Each grey morning looks a little darker than the last.
Until, atlast:
The first tear hits the ground.
And It is there, immediately.
Offering escape.
At first, I'll refuse.
"Never again."
I meant what I said.
I will not break my promise.
But as the hours go by,
It becomes more obvious.
The rain does not want to let up.
And there It is,
Reminding me of Its offer of solution.
It promises that Its affections are just as strong as always.
I want to pull away,
But I can't deny the safeness that calls to me,
Awaiting beneath the umbrella.
The calmness I feel spreading from the burn where It grips my skin.
The storm passes,
Leaving nothing but a colourful mess to clean up.
I don't expect you to understand.
But then again,
I don't expect you to find out.
"Never again."
I'd meant what I said.
But it's so easy to think that It will never hurt you.
Not the way It hurts me when all I have is loneliness for company.
So, to answer your question,
Yes.
And if you ever bothered to check, you'd see.
It forever waits on my company.
It laughs when I laugh.
It cries when I cry.
But maybe It would give up and leave,
If you too never left my side.
Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012 at 6:51 PM UTC
Legs quiver
Hands tremble
I'm waiting for you to deliver
I'm soaking
Pressing your head into my chest
Biting my stomach and thighs
Please don't judge I'm looking a mess
I'm begging now
Please
Don't stop
Harder faster deeper
I feel I'm about to pop
No stop!
Why would you do that
I hate being on top
Not a **** angle
But wait
It feels oh so good
I hear you
Your breathing
I can tell you like this steady grind
Roll me over
Finishing this night
Now were snug
I feel the safeness in your heartbeat
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012 at 9:53 PM UTC
The threat of relapse is always on my mind,
Its a dream,
And a wish,
To go back to that "safeness" that I once felt.
I miss it,
But I push it to the back of my mind,
And struggle up the mountain,
Until I reach the top.
Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 9:39 PM UTC
I feel the snowflakes
In early July
Covering the streets
Shading my eyes in
It's sleet
Snowflakes and sun
Beating down on bare backs
Beaches filled with
Laughing bodies
Still there is a corner
Where a small pale girl
Looks out onto the ocean
Wishing to feel the sun
To feel the warmth
Of anything
Snow tends to pile up
Rain can make it more
Dreary
Haven't felt the safeness
Of the only light
In the sky
For quite some time
It worries me to know
That even if it is
80 degrees
I'm neck deep
In ice crystals
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 1:22 AM UTC
How dark is the night
On which my body
Lies, watching the stars above
Drown in the sky.
I slip my body into his arms; only
Now can I drift to sleep, in safeness and in warmth,
Glowing inwards out as he holds me tight.
Mar 19, 2012
Mar 19, 2012 at 8:19 PM UTC
In still frames and photographs,
I still see your eyes light up,
they're not faded like today.
I see you vibrant and laughing,
a sweet grin as you say my name,
"Stop sweetie, I don't look good." You mumbled,
and I begged to differ,
felt my hands shiver,
You always looked good...
With your long hair in a bun,
that white sweater of mine-
was way too big,
the way it always wrapped you in the
scent of my cologne,
the safeness of home,
and the way you giggled
as I pretended you were a delicious truffle,
playfully as if I were a pig,
and lovingly nibbled your ear.
Back when "you" were still here.
And then you began to drift,
across an impasse,
a weight too heavy for me to lift.
and you spun your golden feathers,
across time and space,
drug induced and broken,
a shattered masterpiece,
your life: a waste.
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 4:21 AM UTC
Heights.
I used to be scared of heights, Tarver.
But when I'm with you,
I happen not to be.
I must have gotten used to your presence—
it lifts me up to the skies.
It must have been the meaning of safeness,
security
precisely defined in your arms.
It must have been our hands,
perfectly clasped like two human hearts stitched by a destructive surgeon.
Fingers that walked with me
in the zenith of all mountains
the cliff by the streets
the bay walk's beam
and every single ledge we wandered on,
where you
didn't
hold aback
to watch me fall.
So Tarver, I didn't fall for you.
It seems like you were the one
who did that for me.
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC
"Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"
I consider myself a rational person
And as the label mentions
A rational person
Rationalizes.
I tend to get confused
The state of mind over matter
And question existence
And panic.
Thoughts invade
Conquer
And rule
My every member.
But within my panic
I stop
And pick up a book
And turn to
Proverbs
3:5
And like that
My mind rationalizes
Safeness
In my saviors arms.
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 1:19 AM UTC
This guy I know
The one most important
The one no longer there
Looks have been interchanged
Words have been spoken
This guy I know
The one who smiles so cheerfully
The one whose eyes sparkle
Layers have been peeled off
Secrets have been exchanged
This guy I know
The one whose hugs give warmth
The one whose touch electrifies
Feelings have surpassed
Emotions have intensified
This guy I know
The one who will lend a hand
The one who will listen
Safeness always present
Never turning backs
This guy I know
The one who inspires change
The one always there
Sep 30, 2011
Sep 30, 2011 at 8:34 AM UTC
there is a
safeness
in not caring,
but also
a comfort
in caring
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 26, 2016 at 1:58 PM UTC
Can you love me when I am but fuel to the fire
Can you love me when I am a hurricane ripping out the flowers you planted for me
When I am 100 mph on a back road, throwing dust into ecstasy
Can you love me when you come home to find me lying on the ground because the gravity of my situation has reached its lowest point
Can you love me when I am vacant and need your attention
Can you show me your attention when you are busy
Can you love me when my mind is racing from one obstacle to the next
Can you remind me that everything will be alright
Can you love me in silence
When words do not fit the circumstance
When I just need to be held in the safeness of your arms
Can you love me still when I am gone
When my feet wander out the door, when they do this reluctantly
When you think I won't ever return
Can you love me in hopes that I will
Can you love me again
Because I'm on my way back home
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
Baby I think I have the power
Let us heal
Let us be whole
Let us talk our selves into existence by being great
By becoming undestroyed by what has been the greatest creation
You are magic and I will not alter my perception of you by making you less because of your choices
You are greater than what you do to other people
You are you and your vibrations are mighty
They are not on my wavelength and that is why they scar me
But the battle is not defeated it has been signed in a peaceful treaty where we split the treasure
The treasure being us completely
We can now reclaim ourselves by leaving this comfortable war
The safeness must end and we must face what we fear most
The raw us .
We must discover the cravesses of our flaws and embrace them how we embraced eachother
We are not monsters we are light
And I’m going to write about what you have unlocked within my brain
The system of my mind has been broken by your manifestos of who I am
I must take your mighty text and write my own manifestos of who I am and through this I will heal
By myself
I love you eternally
It started with beautiful words with the rebirth
Let it Rest In Peace with beautiful words too , because above all this safe haven was contentment
Goodbye my forever spirit
My always energy
I swear to always hover around you with light and to guide you on your journey with the love I have gifted you
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 22, 2018 at 7:50 PM UTC
The belief she told me hurts
The wrongness of the wilderness moves me
The winter blend rounds me to our nostalgia
Painted eyes, Beauty roses, safeness guarded by painted eyes
Balloon strings tie us to the paradise city
Flowed us to a sitting garden of what we once were
Time ticks and sand licks the ground
Shadows deepen and the monster peels away
Beauty is sacrificing the petals can't dance to what they once were
My melody is so unsafe and may ties break
To the nostalgia of the innocence wakes
The blue skies break, flows in the shadows of grey
So long my childish ways
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 2:00 PM UTC
"Tickets tickets tickets"
Enticing the buyers to
Observe you
To speculate your insecurities on the stage
To bring you smirks , since your mind seems to forget what is happiness...
There you gaze into bright lights of never ending tunnel.
All eyes gazing on you , all ears appeal to you .
Mouth raging to ignite their movements.
Hands clasp together, ready to make beats for your amusement...
You do what is best .
Natural calling .
But tonight , there she was ....
Her lips entice you to come in,
To taste her grievances of a broken heart.
To sew the broken patches of her soul.
To hear the safeness of your vocal mind.
You want her . You adore her.. But you can't please her
Gulp gulp your throat....
Don't mind her , let her go .....
The show must go on ....
She will leave those doors into the never ending light you gazed at on stage...
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 7:35 AM UTC
Its locked
Its wrapped in this little tight sealed saran wrapped bundle
gentle velvet red in color..if you needed a visual image
heart shaped and safe
its the shape and structure of
LOVE
a feeling of safeness and intrigue
a feeling of fear and security at the same time
you want it..and you need it
every time you feel it
beats skip
hearts drop
hearts rise
trust engulfs
lost trust
it starts
tapped phones with eyes of jealousy
trust falls
serious conversations
faith is dead
I wanted truth
but truth was buried deep
lost in a sea of lies
a sea of I love you’s
a vast and seemingly full ocean of deep seeded passion
where do you go from here?
you love..but hate
you want and need for them to stop
change them
you definitely have control
more lies
this time to yourself
you've lost control
this situation is unsolvable
leave them before your heart falls yet again
its the fuel of the hunt
the feel of the rise and fall
the addiction that calls itself love
that disguises itself with happy thoughts and ideas
leave them…
you cant.
you have to.
if you don't you will die inside a little more..
every day
you wait
for change
nothing changes
if you don’t change it
**** heartbreak. **** you. **** her. **** everything. **** love.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 2:56 PM UTC
Whenever there’s a storm,
And I hear the rain pour,
As the wind blows,
I’m reminded of the coziness of home.
That feeling of safeness,
A place to hide from the darkness,
When it seems hopeless,
A bed for your tiredness.
Though I know,
Not everyone has a home,
Or one that is safe,
One without pain,
So I feel empathy,
For those who may not be,
Lucky like me.
As I write these words,
I hear you,
And I’ll hold you,
In a tight hug.
It’ll be okay!
The storms aren’t here to stay.
Even though the winds may blow,
You can find a home.
Mar 4, 2025
Mar 4, 2025 at 8:37 PM UTC
I was gaseous infant, then liquid child, from that was born solid youth.
Now I am fragile, a crumbling adult watching it all solidifying faster than past can hold.
I am learning to know myself, but I don't want it to be so, I'd rather revert back to a liquid, free-flowing, and happy.
Gas gave me trust, but he burned it, set it all ablaze. As liquid I was free to roam as I wanted, I'd become aloof, distant, lying to myself unknowingly. He was two matters; between gas and solid, his hands warmed my structure and I'd be gas once more. Clues dashed upon variables, broken and tired from naive effort, he wasn't matter at all, though he mimicked it. He was sublimation, an anomaly in love with itself.
When I learned to stay as liquid, my gases coalesced around objects I could reach. Constants amidst a frequency of unknowables, I'd feel more than see. School, it was a warm place, there I could remain as liquid wanted to be, free and uncontained. Filling in what I was given, I latched onto any chance to forget the coming fear. Drops of that prior state dribbled as I left one safeness to the next unsafety.
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 1:57 AM UTC