i can’t escape it.
five years, i haven’t come close.
always pushing at the edges,
enveloped in the amniotic waves.
shouldn’t this period of growth-
or self-inflicted solitude -
or restful anxiety days...
shouldn’t it have concluded,
bearing some great swollen fruit?
summer has already risen over the horizon
five times
five winters, falls, and springs.
still i’m the same.

i can’t escape.
chilling blue eyes still sail
over turbulent synapses.
literally forty since
that i have kissed,
i never even kissed you.
still, you are the only spark
relampago del catatumbo
an eternal lightning storm
as i curl under a rock
slowly attempting to crawl
to the safe-zone.

i can’t escape it.
unfurling my shriveled wings
i can’t help but glare at the light
reflecting off of silver rims,
a careless smile.
you never knew.