"readjusting" poems
When I came to, it was already too late.
Tumbling at the speed of sound and pointed
at the only thing I ever cared about.
Home.
Readjusting and stabilizing
the shot towards earth,
I remembered what was packed tight
in the cargo hold with the titanium alloy exoskeleton.
It was a matter of total energy.
So powerful,
that I used it to come see my home world
even though it was long since abolished.
The destruction was a mystery up until now.
As I hurled towards earth with my incredible dangerous load.
My only hope was that I could come back and save my family.
I would have never considered
that I would be the demise of my entire species,
nonetheless all of the underestimated subspecies that would die too.
"Captain."
The vessels computer was attempting to revive me.
“Impact in thirteen seconds.”
The ship commanded in the most perfect womanly voice.
"Ten."
"Initialize magnetic gyroscopic shielding." I say.
"Nine."
My planets surface was closing in.
I could see the coastline waves
rolling and ebbing with the moon.
"Eight."
At this moment I considered my probable demise.
"Seven."
“Captain, interdimensional equipment
charged and awaiting coordinates.”
She said,
as her other voice commanded,
“Five seconds till impact.”
Collapsible was the style of our Universe.
All I had to do now,
was tap the controls and I would leave the atmosphere instantly,
taking me in between the folds of particles.
The hull was losing integrity as was I.
And on that thought,
I simply pressed the button
and started my return to my lonely place in time.
Alone in the distant future and in the silence of space.
The passing eons of space-time were rattling my very bones.
But I ascended to the very place in time
where I would have been.
And there she was in all her exaltation.
Earth.
Untainted as I once recalled.
That’s when it struck me.
It was only logical that my life had been
looping all these years.
Destroying and saving humanity
all at the same time.
So typically me.
"Computer, set a course for San Francisco."
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 6:09 PM UTC
Eyelids part,
readjusting from dark hibernation.
Sleep -
peaceful;
warm.
Silence,
sings the extravagance
of a new morning,
a new day,
a fresh start.
Dewy are the leaves
and the grass.
Barefoot.
Sunrise;
sunshine.
Warm against tender,
sun-kissed skin.
Brilliant is the morn;
the awake.
Breeze ruffles hair
as dresses swing,
birds sing,
gliding.
Rejoice in the brilliance -
the jubilee of the day.
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010 at 4:46 PM UTC
There is no movement here
(Except inside my head)
Besides the rhythmic heaving of my chest,
My arms readjusting around my pillow,
Legs contorted into what I can only describe as
A lying down flamingo.
There is no motion that cannot be accounted for,
Only the necessary,
The slight,
The human impulses that cannot be quelled
By bedrest.
Alone.
I laid there—two weeks—
Alone with my thoughts,
My fears,
My shortcomings,
My inability to be
Anywhere but where I was:
Facing the ceiling
With such intent
You would think I was waiting
For a ghost to appear
(Maybe I was),
Haunted by myself.
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 6:00 PM UTC
backpacking in the Jefferson wilderness
eating fresh wild blueberries
warmed by a late spring sun
the crystal blue sky captures me
and I stand, transfixed –
How could we have collectively been so blind?
pumping Co2 into the atmosphere
dropping atomic bombs
and an atoll
named after a bikini…
and the plastic island –
A wispy cirrus cloud
floats gracefully overhead
and takes my thoughts
on a journey
distant smokestacks dot the horizon
and drilling platforms stand menacingly
just beyond the shore,
and inside the bellies of sea creatures …
the plastic –
readjusting my pack
and leaning over to re-tie my shoestrings
the slow crawl of an ant packing lunch
sends me reeling
so many hungry children
just in the state I live
hopeless and *****
in run down or condemned houses
waiting, with tear streaked cheeks
for someone to show up with dinner
as the third foodless day
is always the hardest –
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 5:06 PM UTC
this is the last time you'll drag your dagger through my mind
im silencing the thoughts
readjusting the locks
just to keep you out.
don't try and break in,
theft is in your blood and im not yours to steal.
your mask won't trick me the next time
your face is engrained in my mind
and i'll never forget
i could never forget
i'm just out of things to give
so please stay out this time.
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC
Four years and plus I have studied,
Wanting to hear "Well done, Lad!"
Papers and books and Internet leads,
(Some I have even read).
My goal is to finish the final degree,
To stand with the women and men
Who doctor their classes for fee,
Philosophical women and medicine men...
Yesterday's morning came early and light
As I sped to the citadel towers,
Stood in a hallway at the end of the night
For minutes that ticked off like hours...
Then to the panel of erudite four,
Explained and defended my cause...
Stood in the hallway once more
Reading posters and climbing the walls.
The door latch announced the time was at end,
I turned my mentor to see.
"You did very well!" and out went her hands
To throw a big hug around me.
So in we two went and I faced the Chair,
"We're pleased to announce you have passed!"
I grinned in relief to find there was air,
And lungs to breathe it at last.
Numb and relieved, I shook hands all round,
Readjusting my sights and my plan,
Dissertation and frameworks, new targets found,
I left them with papers in hand.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 12:24 PM UTC
"ehem"
we all hear it
the voice of the once-feeble boy
whom we always assumed would
end up in some shabby office job
typing away schedules and making spreadsheets
avoiding fellow humans and drinking coffee– black
the voice that seemed so small to us then
now seems impossibilly loud–
ridiculously honest, and tragically sad
and no trace of anger or shame
or anything that bears resemblance to
the last picture of the boy
you carry in your minds
important people, marked by name-tags
and good posture–
nice suits
surround him
it's all very intimidating
all of you hoping
he makes no mention
of you, or you, or you
and the wait, for him to speak
is nerve-wracking and
feels remarkably long
with people tapping their feet
impatiently, and readjusting their ties
until finally he clears his voice once more
and addresses the crowd
the audience exchanges expressions
of amazement, wonder
his voice is strong and reaches you
though you're hiding in the very last row
and you can't bear to meet his eyes
or return his flashy smile
he makes a speech
and you settle into your seat
as you forget your own presence
all seems well
until
he stops mid-word
and meets your stare
and
all of a sudden it's 1979 again
and you're back in that playground
and you have a bat in your hand
and he has fear in his eyes
and he's crying
and begging you to let go
but something in you snaps
and you hit him
right across the nose
before you could stop– and then you sprint
it sinks in when you're halfway home
and you stop and hesitate
feel the guilt
but shrug it off
and walk the rest of the way back
the roles are reversed now
and he is clearly the bigger man
and you are small, and weak
and petty
a playground bully is your only claim to fame
while he is the president of this ******* country.
he starts again
and you feel worse than you would had he
given you the punishment you deserved
nope, this boy ain't angry- or ashamed,
only hurt, and blatantly sad.
so, so sad.
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 5:47 PM UTC
Although I’m sure my presence is starting to become more than a little vexatious, I still hold your hand as often as I possibly can. Partially because I find how rough your hands are compared to the rest of your body to be very pleasing, but mostly because I feel obligated.
Don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t feel obligated in the sense that I’m being forced. I just know that we humans come into and leave this world alone, and I know all that you’ve seen.
So I’ll hold your hand while we lay in bed at night, cross the road, and walk through the grocery store, readjusting my grip as our fingers start slipping.
And when I notice you start slipping and losing your grip on this world and all it has too offer, I’ll readjust whatever it is that need readjusting. I’ll hold on even tighter so you don’t have to.
Just don’t give up. I know it’s hard, and I know you know that we humans come into and leave this world alone. But when I hold your hand, I have the entire world at my fingertips.
I’ll readjust as needed.
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 2:48 PM UTC
just let me crawl beside you,
I am fairly small,
you won’t notice I am there.
Trace my fingertips and keep one hand on my hair.
The rest of our bodies hardly touch,
except in moments of readjusting in our sleep.
Well,
besides our feet;
two pairs of cold feet that always manage to find each other across the space of secretive sheets.
You invited me to visit you,
to fly across the country,
and yet you claim to care so little for me.
Then I have read that you have asked to see others,
to write with others,
but you asked them
‘would you like to write with us?’
Is it safe to assume I was the other part to that team?
It’s never safe to assume with you
, I guess that’s why I stick around.
I keep following your cryptic directions to the imagined Wonderland,
and I am the pure, white apron wearer that is stained with your teas.
You call me a possible temptation,
you have referenced me as Satan,
as if you were afraid but you sir are intrigued.
You are the temptation, devil’s advocate, not me.
Because Satan does not wish for his victims to quell their fires and demons,
nor for them to reach their full potential.
But calling me the guilty party, the bad guy,
the bloodthirsty queen is how you can keep yourself away,
from the truth.
But you are mad for trying, for thinking you could.
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 7:07 PM UTC
We laughed
Scrolling through the new arrivals.
Bird Box, The Little Hours.
The last movie gone off.
Your head against my shoulder.
My head sunk in the curve of your hair.
The couch beneath us,
Critically acclaimed movies seen through one eye.
Peeking through spaces of hair.
To be honest.
None of the movies mattered.
Agreeing to disagree.
Our binge put on hold.
The attention put on you.
Being in your presence.
The way you say my name,
The way you stop and stare.
Our connection to movies
Old & new.
Easing into comfort,
Readjusting my body to see you better.
My head in your lap.
Conversation progressing.
All the favorite parts to my favorite movie in view
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018 at 3:14 PM UTC
God's blessing is within us.
Life should be a blessing to all of us.
Love's surrounding you.
Believe in him.
Believe not.
Notice many nonbelievers can't explain simple things.
Scriptures points out there's a time for every season.
And we been taught God does things for a reason.
Life is about adjusting when they are born.
Life's about readjusting when they are gone.
Just as long as we remember, love's surrounding you.
The sun.
The moon.
The stars.
The rain.
The snow.
The flowers and trees that grows.
Love is surrounding us.
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
I hope he knows that I feel the stress
vortex banging against his cranium.
even with my welcoming surface,
he struggles to let go.
I hope he knows that it is not I that
needs replacing,
but simply his way of thinking that
needs readjusting.
A new year
A mindset anew
Hello 2021
- a.r. Camm
Jan 1, 2021
Jan 1, 2021 at 2:52 PM UTC
Readjusting to the eternal present moment that is now and forever
Where all things spiral and grow... where all creation flourishes
Once again I lost my mind only to rediscover inner peace
and find a sense of contentment and bliss like never before
This maze gets deeper and deeper as I traverse the unknown and beyond
I keep wondering how things could get any more strange
I keep thinking that this life can't get any more magical
As soon as I feel like I know what to expect,
the path transforms once again, right under my feet
Doors close and windows open right in front of my face
This path is forever changing and adapting
Constantly shifting and expanding dimensions
I find the singularity and liberate myself with each breath
Pure eternal bliss...
Everything is perfect as it always was
Everything is perfect no matter what happens next
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 10:23 PM UTC
I go where the road takes me
Every twist and turn hopefully less traveled by
Each corner a new surprise.
I am how the wind has carved me
Eroded well beyond weary
Corroded, yet to be discovered, simply a theory
I am how God has made me
Internal and un-telling, amicable and compelling
Deranged and day dreaming, troubled yet never dwelling
I will let life turn me
Into the the woman I'm yet to be
Into a person my future can admire,
Someone those I've left behind can aspire
to remember with a smile
I want to always be worthwhile.
I am so many things I never dreamed I would be.
I see in ways I didn't know I could see.
Reforming the old into the new to keep from rusting.
Decomposing, yet regenerating, constantly readjusting.
There is no telling what's next
For I am the product of "Cause and Effect"
Honestly, describing me in a phrase
Isn't the easiest of ways,
But to say at the least,
I am simply Becoming.
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 24, 2013 at 1:04 AM UTC
Do you cut a rose before it blossoms?
**** a child, and then you lost them
Fetus lost within the womb
Like your virginity that’s been took
Like a breakage of a package
Wrapped up within bed sheets
Trying to untangle yourself before it’s too late
Haven’t you heard no *** before marriage?
Not wanting to look like “that girl” that doesn’t thinks
But he says he’s different
He pretended like he cared
3 weeks later I’m trapped
Trapped between the thoughts of being a tennager that's young , free , & wild
Not wanting to accept the duties of being a soon to be mother
It was a mistake I say
A mistake
"I used protection" she said
Forcing myself to look at my stomach thinking about how my once tiny stomach will become bigger & bigger
readjusting my belt as if it was hurting our baby
My baby
It’s not mine
It’s not mine
Don’t keep it
Those were his exact words before he upped and left me
He gave me the choice
To be left alone with only having the baby as a reference
Praying that ***** doesn't resemble their farther
2 hands
2 feet
2 eyes
2 ears
1 nose
1 mouth
2 arms
2 legs
1 heart
But unfortunately I let those hurtful words make my decision for me
Turning my unborn child home into a barrel
RIP
Rest in peace was those exact same words that were imprinted on stomach
Before my child left this world in a garbage bag
I could’ve sworn I heard "no mommy"
Blaming the doctors for killing my child
My sweet precious son
I love you
By :Tash Carter
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 10:13 PM UTC
readjusting to things I know
coming to love things I don't
on a self love and self care high
don't need drugs when I've already reached the sky
finding I love the little weird flaws
only patting my back
not scratching with claws
and loving me so has helped me love you
for if I didn't love me
I wouldn't see the things you do
I can open my heart
and believe all you say
because look at me now, it's a new day
chris can you see
that I'm loving me?
cause I'm loving you too
and im always loving we
Mar 11, 2019
Mar 11, 2019 at 5:08 AM UTC
You got me breaking my own rules,
Like how I was supposed to stay single while finishing school;
Remember I was telling you,
To work on you and then once your done to come through;
I told you we couldn't kiss,
But when we did it bliss;
I even told you I was scared,
And for me to feel was something rare;
My heart was closed,
Locked up somewhere dark and cold,
Motionless it stood frozen by the snow,
Everything was dead around, nothing could possibly grow;
And then the snow started feeling funny,
It was melting as it hit my heart,
And me being smart,
Realized something was cooking,
That's when I opened my eyes and started looking;
And realized I was feeling you,
I wanted you, that was true;
And I started breaking my rules;
Took out my tools,
and started reconstructing,
readjusting;
I fixed it, there's a beat,
suddenly I can feel my feet,
So I started moving forward,
with you I started a new tomorrow;
Can't you see, said my heart to me,
It seems it's meant to be;
So I made you mine and locked you away,
In a place that was far far away;
Now your heart is in my oasis,
never to be tampered with, never to be tainted.
-E.G
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 11:49 PM UTC
adapt
like a bird
building a nest
out of discarded newspaper
a small animal's bones
restructuring
readjusting
around the plastic rings
that once held soda cans
learn to stay put
if you were meant to fly
but find yourself
caged
adapt
change your body chemistry
alter your consciousness
to fit in
where you were not made to
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 5:14 PM UTC
Oh, the human body has , a healing factor.
Similar to a chameleon.
It's amazing to see the readjusting to changing event.
Similar to daylight saving time.
Where you lose an hour of sleep?
Or gain an hour of sleep.
Similar to a sudden divorce.
Where even among your friends?
You have to make a choice.
With those loyal to him or her.
Or just those you personally wants to be yours.
Similar to an injury.
Where you must readjust to certain limitation?
I guess, the biggest readjusting we all go through.
Is readjusting to those attitudes.
Where you either going to win?
Or simply going to lose.
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 9:06 AM UTC
You have the same name as my dead lover, that is why I cannot be close to you. It's not your fault, I know. It's just that that dead lover is my most recent dead lover. Having so many dead lovers is something endemic to these times. Up to now, we have survived a plague, yes, but it has left a more than squirrelly effect on me. Not just me, also. There are other squirrels. We scuttle about in certain circles, mostly running into each other at survivor groups. I've not seen you pass through, but since you're here now, hello. I know you're hurting, it's why we walk through that door. How did he pass? Were you with him at the end? How long were you together? You see, this is how it goes here. So, would you mind not sitting so close and gazing at me that way, I'm still readjusting to the sound of your name. I'd rather marvel over you from afar at this present moment. We can be nuts for each other later. Ok?
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 4:54 PM UTC
I scan my boarding pass and begin the turtles pace
Down the tunnel to what looks like a big white metal bird that will take me back home.
I cross over the gap between the walkway and the plane
Where I can see the ground that feels like it’s miles beneath me.
The jump over the tiny valley always was the perfect mixture of scary and exhilaration,
Stepping into this powerful machine.
I press my hand on the cold metal as an encouragement to myself and the bird,
And I can feel its heartbeat.
It isn’t like mine, a rhythmic thump,
But rather a humming,
A continuous vibration.
I sit down in the seat that is just uncomfortable enough to make me keep
Readjusting every 5 minutes,
But I don’t care, I’m just ready to meet the clouds again.
I always loved flying,
That feeling when you get so high up in the air that your reality seems so far away.
For that couple hours, you get to physically escape your life.
But unfortunately, even miles off the ground you still can’t escape your thoughts.
I’ve always loved flying,
Being up in the clouds makes me feel closer to God.
It seems like He is right there,
Whipping up the clouds like cotton candy like heaven is a circus.
I always loved flying,
The magic of traveling so high and fast to your destination.
I hope I never lose the wonder of being in flight.
m.h.
Oct 31, 2019
Oct 31, 2019 at 11:51 AM UTC
Tell me how it ended up like this?
Because I’m still trying to maneuver my way to breaking down the pieces of where it all started to go wrong.
Going back past the conversations we exchanged in my head to see the signs you’ve been hinting at me
But, I just can’t seem to figure it out
Because either you were way too good at hiding it or maybe you never wanted me to know in the first place
Or perhaps it began to go downhill the moment where I brushed things off and from then on slowly, but surely I couldn’t decipher the things you’ve been communicating to me
The secret language we used to share, the stares we had when our eyes meet and the slight brush on our arm that used to give me butterflies
Overtime slowly started to fade away
And instead it was replaced with a brick of walls separating us apart despite the fact we were once there in the same room
Maybe we both knew that someday this day would come, where it would all come to an end
And we were both trying to ignore it by not letting things escalate when we fought for the fear of things ending right there and then
Little did we know by shrugging things off it just piled to more tension and that thought behind our mind “what if it’s better if we broke it off?” but then feeling guilty for it because it wasn’t that easy to let go after years of happy memories made together
Also, the fear we both shared of having to start all over again and readjusting to a new change of pace because we got too used to the same routine
Though eventually all the built up tension and unsaid words finally got the best of us, realizing that us staying together only led up for the relationship to be toxic and insufferable
After hours of talking that had a lot of yelling and bickering we have finally agreed we were both in the wrong and the last kissed we shared, we knew to finally call it quits
Because that kiss and the embrace that came afterwards with tears from the both of us, we just knew we didn’t see each other in our own futures and mutually understanding we are far better apart than together
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 1:43 AM UTC
I awoke in the middle of the night
Clutching to you for dear
Life
The first night you never let go
Constantly readjusting
Holding me
Asking me to hold you
By grabbing my arms
Pulling my hands across
You.
In pillow land I thought
It would always be alright
But your silence and stares
Real life had entered.
That first night I thought it'd all
Always be right
But that last night it showed me
You can be cruel
Just by your silence.
I thought it'd be strong
I'd be strong
But I'm just another little girl
Clutching to your torso as
You snore
I could not sleep
Because all I could do was wait
And hope
You'd hold me like that first night
Again and again.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 5:14 PM UTC