A poem about gravity
I know he’s going to break my heart
I tell everybody that I know that it’ll come
I tell them, to tell myself
Maybe I’ll remember
Maybe he’ll run
Maybe I’ll run
Maybe just maybe, there’s a future but I’m afraid to feel that way.
Because
maybe I feel too hard,
maybe I feel too much, maybe I haven’t felt this way in a long time,
maybe that’s why I’m terrified.
I know it’s going to hurt, he’s already hurt me.
My walls are down, I know his are not.
I wish I could keep mine up,
but oh boy, it’s too late.
No relationship is ever certain
No love is ever promised
No life isn’t confusing as hell.
Always “love on me”
Never “I love you”
Hail, rain, warm nights, street lights, sunrise bedroom kisses, warmth, cold
- sometimes so cold, and Pleasure, and so vague,
social, no PDA, but then he grabs my hand and we walk together.
W T F is this, why do I want it so badly when I know it’s only gonna hurt me.
Why did I allow my heart to be open enough to be broken?
I’m still trying to put my own pieces back together, I didn’t and don’t need this.
But it’s truly everything I want.
Him, his black hole of a bed, those windows, those eyes that are **** galaxies.
They show so much, I can read them but not all of them,
sometimes they shift to a far off world that I have not been invited to.
But I want to know what’s going on behind those gorgeous galactic windows to a planet and soul that I will probably never get to visit.
Why, when I know, this is going to crush me.
Tear me apart in ways I know are coming,
Why do I come back and leave my heart on the floor, begging for more.
Why can’t I stop falling in love with a dark matter in the Universe?
Why does it already hurt but hasn’t even happened yet?
I am the light, orbiting the black hole,
Knowing full well I’m being ****** in,
And to my own detriment,
I circle it and am bracing for the inevitable-
But I’m also already ****** into his gravity.
Aug 9, 2024
Aug 9, 2024 at 4:32 PM UTC
One day I want to write sweet love letters again.
One day I want to find those words again.
One day I want to feel them again.
One day I want to not fear them again.
The world, the want, the person, the feelings.
I love you and I hate you.
But your memories are sad as suffocating as the most coziest blanket I’ve ever known.
You will always wrap/write my heart with our past.
Dec 9, 2023
Dec 9, 2023 at 9:31 PM UTC
thank you moonlight
for this perfect gift-
this spirit inside of me
unbounded
so much love
in so much light
illuminate my darkness!
you and I have become one
waxing and waning
the same cycle
your light
your love
translucent
-teach me your ways
almighty soul
for I have become
you.
and I am only
what you know of to be me.
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 2:50 AM UTC
Dear one drink too many,
It seems that you want to hurt me.
Like it's your art, your passion-
You are good at poking me-
it's breaking me.
(I know you hurt)
It's our foundation breaking down.
These foundations I thought were strong, strong enough for the **** thrown at them.
But that foundation breaks down everytime
Brick by brick, I'm afraid it's weak now.
what did we build this on, actually?
I know that you know pain,
Far beyond what I can comprehend.
(Please don't push me away)
I know pain in a different way,
One of constant neglect
and of being a non necessity .
Please don't make me feel unnecessary
I know you don't NEED me,
But I don't want to feel un-needed-
-anymore.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 3:55 AM UTC
I am not happy
I don't think
That I have ever been.
There are moments.
Weeks even,
Where I think that I am.
Content.
And then it hits me again.
It's not your fault
Nor anyone before you.
The problem is me,
My own self.
I've lost so much
That I have loved-
Most of it.
My own doing.
I let things (people) go,
I'm sorry I let it go so easily.
I never am going to win.
Especially when,
I'm playing against myself.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 11:00 PM UTC
Why does every
Journal entry
Of mine
Begain
with a question?
And if I'm only
Asking myself
Why can't I find
The answers?
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 2:36 PM UTC
I don't need or want a tough guy. Please just be yourself, as you are, with your big heart. I love you perfectly imperfect the way we both are, be mine. I don't care about the rest. I am yours.
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 2:37 AM UTC
Love can be fleeting
or can be all encompassing
it depends on the people
and the hearts that are involved.
I have given so much of myself
to hearts that never returned the pleasure
I have struggled to keep love alive
though its light had begun to fade.
I sometimes wondered where my path would go
now I feel this is where I am supposed to be-
in your arms, so full of love
splendid and secret moments of joy...
Alone with you, I feel whole
un-needing of anything else.
Is this what its supposed to feel like?
like I am coming home.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 1:47 PM UTC
love is radiating
illuminate me as the sun
deep, intense, intoxicating
it warms me through
blood pulsing
deep down to my core
washing over me
a ripple a wave a tide
fluidity in motion
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 11:02 AM UTC
We spend so little time together
It's hard to know what I feel
Is it the loneliness of being together
Which side of this is real
Time spent apart and drinking
Can't be a positive start
I'm afraid at the rate we are going
All of this might fall apart
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:46 AM UTC