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"programs" poems
“Being a farmer is like being a priest; you take a vow of poverty and make a pact with the Lord that no typhoon will come and destroy your crops.” In the rise of sedentary human civilization, The nation’s agriculture Became the key expansion. Its history dates back thousands of years, With its development, Has been driven and defined – By different climates, cultures, and technologies. The Filipino farmers: Are they now a dying breed? Numbers of small farms has dwindled, With workers opting for city life. But this trend could exacerbate food insecurity! Yes, in an import-dependent country – Already struggling to meet current food demand. In the face of growing losses, And from volatile weather, To new-fangled farming tech, Limited education makes them less receptive. What took such toll on the agricultural sector? Maybe the farmer themselves, The investors, the buyers – maybe. Now, it’s due to the government policies, Our programs are good, yet so weak. There’s excessive reliance on agricultural imports, And corruption on the upper level. Compounding the problem Is a younger generation – Largely, leaving rural areas nationwide, And depleting the pool of potential agricultural workers. They say it’s too late to do something; But the mind-set of the younger generation Still we can change And make farming appealing once again. (9/8/13 @xirlleelang)
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May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
A Dying Filipino Breed
in complete melodies the frequencies i hear can not be contained by anything love is drifting through the hills and you are home to its trills she dreams of light, the fire bright and full of crystal skulls and eyeballs dozens of monuments are built just to mark the moments when we could have said i'm sorry merge with the mountains find the source of fountains shine the diamond compass if that's what you are really here for broken dams are our business feed the swans their luminescent lunch-boxes duck for cover, its a wonder that we are all together here that's clearly redundant the tendency to dream is the most important human faculty its a tragedy that the lack of nuclear power showers the atomic world in rainbows as forlorn teenagers in the ice-age of America govern our equipment from their parent's basements and carouse with comfort upon chairs, cushions and couches a million times the victory a million miles of rope to weave a million are the paths to god and a million more are the souls who've learned to cope with tragedy i come cherishing and bearing gifts figures of speech are my playthings i am furniture remodeled daily and intuitively placed around your home the finer things in life are free so see me there upon your television set i am electromagnetic static within the black and white of advertisements i am figures of forgotten speech so record the unwatched programs in your mind’s virtual memory the hard drive of work and play creates hundreds of new retirees each day hundreds of haunted expatriates knuckle-headed people that couldn't tread lightly even if they wanted to so will you please untie me and remove these binds and chains it's time to free the lover from the psyche for that is all she wrote i am a silent p i am a violet apogee i am a cosmic minority i am a message in your tea leaves but if you stand too long in my shoes you’ll likely drown in solitude
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Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 2:34 PM UTC
a violet apogee
in complete melodies the frequencies i hear can not be contained by anything love is drifting through the hills and you are home to its trills she dreams of light, the fire bright and full of crystal skulls and eyeballs dozens of monuments are built just to mark the moments when we could have said i'm sorry merge with the mountains find the source of fountains shine the diamond compass if that's what you are really here for broken dams are our business feed the swans their luminescent lunch-boxes duck for cover, its a wonder that we are all together here that's clearly redundant the tendency to dream is the most important human faculty its a tragedy that the lack of nuclear power showers the atomic world in rainbows as forlorn teenagers in the ice-age of America govern our equipment from their parent's basements and carouse with comfort upon chairs, cushions and couches a million times the victory a million miles of rope to weave a million are the paths to god and a million more are the souls who've learned to cope with tragedy i come cherishing and bearing gifts figures of speech are my playthings i am furniture remodeled daily and intuitively placed around your home the finer things in life are free so see me there upon your television set i am electromagnetic static within the black and white of advertisements i am figures of forgotten speech so record the unwatched programs in your mind’s virtual memory the hard drive of work and play creates hundreds of new retirees each day hundreds of haunted expatriates knuckle-headed people that couldn't tread lightly even if they wanted to so will you please untie me and remove these binds and chains it's time to free the lover from the psyche for that is all she wrote i am a silent p i am a violet apogee i am a cosmic minority i am a message in your tea leaves but if you stand too long in my shoes you’ll likely drown in solitude
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57
Christmas Eve was coming There was plenty to be done There were protocols to follow There were programs to be run Presents needed wrapping Elves had duties of their own They've been doing it for centuries They could call Christmas in by phone Reindeer games were scheduled Christmas Carols to be sung There were toys to be assembled There were bells that must be wrung Christmas Cakes...no problem For we all know there's just one It gets passed around each Christmas And that is half the fun But, back now to the reindeer games Donner wasn't there But, neither were three others It gave Santa Claus a scare He called the elven vet in Said "find out what it wrong" "If I don't have all my reindeer" "It'll ruin Rudolph's song" The vet came back directly Hoof and mouth was what he said The reindeer must  miss Christmas They were all confined to bed Santa couldn't take it Reindeer home...what would he do? He thought real hard about an answer Where would he find something that flew The vet said, "I've an answer" "But, no questions...just your trust" "I'll get your gifts delivered Santa" "I just need your magic dust" Santa said "do your best Doctor" "We can't have Christmas end like this" "Are you sure you have an answer?" "We can't give Christmas time a miss" The vet and elves went searching They formed a team like none before They went around to the animals And then they knocked on Santa's door Santa looked at what they'd brought him His reindeer gone, but here they stood A team had been assembled It made Santa sink into his hood Harnessed up before him The vet had two dogs and a bear A ****** goat, and donkey And a bald, blind cat...stood there He smiled and said "Dear Santa" "They may not look like that much now" "But, they'll get you where you need to be" "And they'll be led by a brown cow" If you hear some noises From your roof, like bleats and barks Some, meowing or some mooing And other strange sounds in the dark Remember, it's just Santa With his new team for the season Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike and a bald, blind cat who's freezin' Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!
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Nov 10, 2012
Nov 10, 2012 at 8:37 PM UTC
Santa's New Team
Christmas Eve was coming There was plenty to be done There were protocols to follow There were programs to be run Presents needed wrapping Elves had duties of their own They've been doing it for centuries They could call Christmas in by phone Reindeer games were scheduled Christmas Carols to be sung There were toys to be assembled There were bells that must be wrung Christmas Cakes...no problem For we all know there's just one It gets passed around each Christmas And that is half the fun But, back now to the reindeer games Donner wasn't there But, neither were three others It gave Santa Claus a scare He called the elven vet in Said "find out what it wrong" "If I don't have all my reindeer" "It'll ruin Rudolph's song" The vet came back directly Hoof and mouth was what he said The reindeer must  miss Christmas They were all confined to bed Santa couldn't take it Reindeer home...what would he do? He thought real hard about an answer Where would he find something that flew The vet said, "I've an answer" "But, no questions...just your trust" "I'll get your gifts delivered Santa" "I just need your magic dust" Santa said "do your best Doctor" "We can't have Christmas end like this" "Are you sure you have an answer?" "We can't give Christmas time a miss" The vet and elves went searching They formed a team like none before They went around to the animals And then they knocked on Santa's door Santa looked at what they'd brought him His reindeer gone, but here they stood A team had been assembled It made Santa sink into his hood Harnessed up before him The vet had two dogs and a bear A ****** goat, and donkey And a bald, blind cat...stood there He smiled and said "Dear Santa" "They may not look like that much now" "But, they'll get you where you need to be" "And they'll be led by a brown cow" If you hear some noises From your roof, like bleats and barks Some, meowing or some mooing And other strange sounds in the dark Remember, it's just Santa With his new team for the season Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike and a bald, blind cat who's freezin' Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!
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65
with an Apple Macintosh you can't run Radio Shack programs in its disc drive. nor can a Commodore 64 drive read a file you have created on an IBM Personal Computer. both Kaypro and Osborne computers use the CP/M operating system but can't read each other's handwriting for they format (write on) discs in different ways. the Tandy 2000 runs MS-DOS but can't use most programs produced for the IBM Personal Computer unless certain bits and bytes are altered but the wind still blows over Savannah and in the Spring the turkey buzzard struts and flounces before his hens.
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9.8k
16-bit Intel 8088 chip
iN & Out Of Rehab        iRelapse Then Collapse iNever         Commited To Sober Living So Why Are People Tripping?      Drug Programs Are A Waste According To My Case.         im Never  Going to Stop  unless i O.D And Drop But Even iN Heaven Thats iF iRise.             With the Angel imma Continue Tweaking Cause iM A ****** Tweaker      Or iN Hell With Fallen Angels. It'll Be Better,        Since iSold My Soul To The Devil. He Never Asked iJust Gave iT Up. iFell iN Love With A stimulant Drug made up Of Chemicals ****** Poison But idgaf il Keep Dosing.    Went From Snorting To Smoking     Methamphetamine iLet iT Get The Best Of Me. Part 2 Out & iN 2014 iTs Krazie iM Back To This Dope **** Its been Already 4 years and Im still Addicted. In & Out Of Rehabs, Different Drug Programs and Sad That iStill Havnt learned **** Got Out November 19 2014 For The 3rd Time And im Still Twisting, Getting Lit Ilove Living Twisted Im on a comedown Im irrated right now wanting to take Another hit.
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Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
iN & Out Of Rehab
I try to forget and just walk away But I am left wondering if she is ok When I am at the gym or in work I am talking to people when all of a sudden I stare into space All this pain and loneliness I must face I start a conversation and then I hear her voice Suddenly I stop and stare at my phone I want to call because I feel so alone Her voice is all I hear I sit and wonder ......and wonder if she is near How could it be her voice is so clear It is my head but how can it be She is miles away can't you see I can't believe her voice is in my head Should I not be holding her instead The only way they (the voices) will get out of my head If I let go....... But how do I  let go of the love of my life Why did I I do it cause all of this strife At night as I lay alone in my bed I watch our programs we used to watch...... and all of a sudden I hear her wise crack.... That is her for she had the knack I don't want to but I must try forget her and move on Stand up on my feet and accept that she's gone.
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Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 10:46 PM UTC
Her voice is in my head
complexity bias how you love to criticize my poems as too long and overly complex poor me, I’m no genius, don’t prosper by exploiting unrecognized simplicities, rather deconstruct the intricate complexities that I flatter myself are the me-sinews Writing is a **** temptation - we focus on the 10% that is complex and ignore the easy 90% perhaps this once I will surrender my bare bones put aside the rich, satisfying of cave diving, urban spelunking word caressing tongue verbiage rich tapestry exploring - give you the plane of plain where nestles my destiny: nesting near motionless where the couch is my kingdom and cold cereal is easily digested and there are no consequences I am a member of a discriminated-against minority we have no charismatic leader, no marchers anywhere, and government programs say hey you’re free white and twenty one plus, get the crap out of our faces,  you useless piece of rhymes with **** and includes dirt, though I shower twice a day to keep myself occupied 25 years old, a high school dropout, of course I’m white, my occupation is playing video games and making sure my supply of opioids is adequate in these great United States where I was born there are fewer jobs than none that my application survives a first glance discardation, and now my disability preempts any demand to pretend there is gainful employment in store in my future this reductio ad absurdum is a technique to expose the fallacy, ah what’s that you say no interest in hanging about, on your way out, of course, of course, we are the wrong flavor of downtrodden my life is simple - simplistic in its a chaotic entropic way, order slowly declines into disorder my rituals are a fight against slip sliding down, falling off the the Herzog continuums and the poems are desperate hand holds to prevent my going, gone under so forgive me if I tax you without possessing not the requisite taxing authority you hone in on the obvious disparities and my contradictions resenting my sending you this bill of extravagant length compose with me and a mean will be located and to sleep I go, perhaps to undress my dreams and explicate the wealthy multiples of complexity in the simplicity of a junkies life
0
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 3:56 PM UTC
complexity bias of a ******
complexity bias how you love to criticize my poems as too long and overly complex poor me, I’m no genius, don’t prosper by exploiting unrecognized simplicities, rather deconstruct the intricate complexities that I flatter myself are the me-sinews Writing is a **** temptation - we focus on the 10% that is complex and ignore the easy 90% perhaps this once I will surrender my bare bones put aside the rich, satisfying of cave diving, urban spelunking word caressing tongue verbiage rich tapestry exploring - give you the plane of plain where nestles my destiny: nesting near motionless where the couch is my kingdom and cold cereal is easily digested and there are no consequences I am a member of a discriminated-against minority we have no charismatic leader, no marchers anywhere, and government programs say hey you’re free white and twenty one plus, get the crap out of our faces,  you useless piece of rhymes with **** and includes dirt, though I shower twice a day to keep myself occupied 25 years old, a high school dropout, of course I’m white, my occupation is playing video games and making sure my supply of opioids is adequate in these great United States where I was born there are fewer jobs than none that my application survives a first glance discardation, and now my disability preempts any demand to pretend there is gainful employment in store in my future this reductio ad absurdum is a technique to expose the fallacy, ah what’s that you say no interest in hanging about, on your way out, of course, of course, we are the wrong flavor of downtrodden my life is simple - simplistic in its a chaotic entropic way, order slowly declines into disorder my rituals are a fight against slip sliding down, falling off the the Herzog continuums and the poems are desperate hand holds to prevent my going, gone under so forgive me if I tax you without possessing not the requisite taxing authority you hone in on the obvious disparities and my contradictions resenting my sending you this bill of extravagant length compose with me and a mean will be located and to sleep I go, perhaps to undress my dreams and explicate the wealthy multiples of complexity in the simplicity of a junkies life
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41
I used to feel ashamed to be put in the category of: Illegal, immigrant, undocumented, Or simply not a U.S Citizen I’ve been oppressed and rejected from: Jobs, schools and programs, Because I’m not a red-blooded American But through God I learned that I should Be proud of who I am and what country I come from And that makes me free Because I still have choices I still have options As long as I try, I can smile As long as I have God My life is worthwhile Because I’m His child I can’t contain myself any more I’m tired of being broke and poor I’m going to get that full ride Into a 4 year college I’m going to get that steady job security with: A steady paycheck, that’s re-locatable and it’s fun I’m tired of lying, hiding, and scamming To get into organizations, staffing agencies and jobs That would help my life be healthier I dislike the fact that you have to Get married to get a green card I hate using a fake social security number Or tax ID on applications that ask for it I don’t like making up excuses about Why I don’t qualify for financial aid or unemployment But I’m going to man up and keep moving forward It doesn’t matter how much: Pain, anxiety, frustration, bad attitudes, Disappointment, confusion, heart break Or put downs I get in life I’ll keep fighting the good fight with all my heart And I’m going to be honest even if hurts me Because I still have choices I still have options As long as I try, I can smile As long as I have my God, My life is worthwhile Because I am His child By Shannon Pollard © December 2012
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Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013 at 9:57 PM UTC
Go For the Gusto
I used to feel ashamed to be put in the category of: Illegal, immigrant, undocumented, Or simply not a U.S Citizen I’ve been oppressed and rejected from: Jobs, schools and programs, Because I’m not a red-blooded American But through God I learned that I should Be proud of who I am and what country I come from And that makes me free Because I still have choices I still have options As long as I try, I can smile As long as I have God My life is worthwhile Because I’m His child I can’t contain myself any more I’m tired of being broke and poor I’m going to get that full ride Into a 4 year college I’m going to get that steady job security with: A steady paycheck, that’s re-locatable and it’s fun I’m tired of lying, hiding, and scamming To get into organizations, staffing agencies and jobs That would help my life be healthier I dislike the fact that you have to Get married to get a green card I hate using a fake social security number Or tax ID on applications that ask for it I don’t like making up excuses about Why I don’t qualify for financial aid or unemployment But I’m going to man up and keep moving forward It doesn’t matter how much: Pain, anxiety, frustration, bad attitudes, Disappointment, confusion, heart break Or put downs I get in life I’ll keep fighting the good fight with all my heart And I’m going to be honest even if hurts me Because I still have choices I still have options As long as I try, I can smile As long as I have my God, My life is worthwhile Because I am His child By Shannon Pollard © December 2012
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Maverick ex-cop (Green Beret /Navy Seal /SAS/Ranger) Twiddle of the fingers to crack a 64 bit hexadecimal code Shot but can still beat up bad people and run 15 people firing automatic weapons and they all miss Database that searches the planets population in 2 seconds And has photos of their children and plans of their building Regardless of the crime scene sample, always a rare element that pinpoints location Car chase where a truck can keep up with a Ducati motorbike Organisations that only employ attractive people in lead roles Ugly people are tech specialists sometimes allowed to be ‘quirky’ Even the uglies are attractive people disguised with glasses and bad hairstyles ‘I dream of genie’ gendre were they flirt but never get it on, unless it’s a hospital series Watchable, funny programs that always succumb to sloppy sentimentality High schools complete with intolerance, marginalisation, bullying, and hell on earth, The most disturbing and darkest crime sent to titillate mid evening family viewing Endless humiliation for fatties, chefs, performers, builders, restaurateurs, and troubled teens Dysfunctional law enforcement agencies that never work together under any circumstances Enough, if we need this thick coating of unreality, perhaps its time to switch off?
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Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 5:34 PM UTC
TV Tripe
keep scrolling through iTunes, can’t seem to find anything to download, even though I can download, any song that I want to, keep scrolling through my timeline, Facebook lines & Instagram posts, but can’t seem to find anything of interest, which doesn’t make sense since I love everyone, got everything we want, but nothing that we need, traded in our dreams, for some fantasies on a screen, here forget you used to be free, have a seat & take this TV, it’s amazing how we make miracles, seem so easy, it’s like, these machines gave us everything we ever wanted, without, giving us anything that we ever needed, & it’s strange because I’ve won every battle, but still I feel defeated, it’s like I’m sitting around, alone with all these toys around me, feeling like a Prince without a Kingdom, or a King without a throne, or a Princess without a wishlist in her Queendom, with a magnificent house that’s missing a home, are you missing your home, that home you never had, are you missing that feeling, that feeling that you can’t quite grab, and that’s, exactly why you keep scrolling through iTunes, & that’s exactly why I keep scrolling thought iTunes, we’re both missing the same thing & searching in vain, it’s eerily ironic how we can feel so alone in the same room, & I feel your pain because I feel my pain two, pardon me, maybe I’m confused, maybe we, wanted to get attention instead of getting used, & there’s so much more I want to mention, but then again I guess what’s the use, why start something that’s only definite is an ending, but I’m your friend so if you want to begin it’s up to you, I’m willing to relax, I’ll answer all your questions, let’s trade facts, truth or dare until we express all our intentions, in the pursuit of passions, listening to intuitions, remembering what it was to be human, before we gave in & gave them our emotions, I swear something doesn’t feel right, like most of these humans are just Programs, who look like they are moving with intention, but are really just going through the motions, keep scrolling through iTunes, can’t seem to find anything to download, even though I can download, any song that I want to… ∆ LaLux ∆ Los Angeles, CA. October 8th, 2018
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Oct 19, 2018
Oct 19, 2018 at 10:11 PM UTC
Timelines
keep scrolling through iTunes, can’t seem to find anything to download, even though I can download, any song that I want to, keep scrolling through my timeline, Facebook lines & Instagram posts, but can’t seem to find anything of interest, which doesn’t make sense since I love everyone, got everything we want, but nothing that we need, traded in our dreams, for some fantasies on a screen, here forget you used to be free, have a seat & take this TV, it’s amazing how we make miracles, seem so easy, it’s like, these machines gave us everything we ever wanted, without, giving us anything that we ever needed, & it’s strange because I’ve won every battle, but still I feel defeated, it’s like I’m sitting around, alone with all these toys around me, feeling like a Prince without a Kingdom, or a King without a throne, or a Princess without a wishlist in her Queendom, with a magnificent house that’s missing a home, are you missing your home, that home you never had, are you missing that feeling, that feeling that you can’t quite grab, and that’s, exactly why you keep scrolling through iTunes, & that’s exactly why I keep scrolling thought iTunes, we’re both missing the same thing & searching in vain, it’s eerily ironic how we can feel so alone in the same room, & I feel your pain because I feel my pain two, pardon me, maybe I’m confused, maybe we, wanted to get attention instead of getting used, & there’s so much more I want to mention, but then again I guess what’s the use, why start something that’s only definite is an ending, but I’m your friend so if you want to begin it’s up to you, I’m willing to relax, I’ll answer all your questions, let’s trade facts, truth or dare until we express all our intentions, in the pursuit of passions, listening to intuitions, remembering what it was to be human, before we gave in & gave them our emotions, I swear something doesn’t feel right, like most of these humans are just Programs, who look like they are moving with intention, but are really just going through the motions, keep scrolling through iTunes, can’t seem to find anything to download, even though I can download, any song that I want to… ∆ LaLux ∆ Los Angeles, CA. October 8th, 2018
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Sustenance for friends and clients; state your case – come one, come all. The matron arms of Social Service will not let you fall. Food stamps make our nation stronger, licked, then stuck on the public roll. Social programs last much longer adding recipients on the dole… Like the Ephesian Diana many are my benefits! Mine the matriarchal manna; latch and suckle at my teats. Yours the client’s right to nurture. Mother will supply your need; Child, you must not fear the future – feed, my baby, feed. Call me nanny, call me Lord just make sure you’re calling on me. Mine are the gifts you can afford they’re taxpayer-funded, worry-free! Once you are latched I’ll keep it flowing like an intravenous habit. Keep that ****** situated where your will can never grab it Let it never cross your mind that there’s an end to all lactation. Cloward-Piven have refined this titillation. Love me.  Need me.  I’m the State. Your well-being is my affair. With your consent I’ll dominate, because I care.
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Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 9:07 PM UTC
Licked, Stamped, Undelivered
1. Spread claims you are the only one who can stop corrupt politicians and their dependence on the rich (even though you yourself belong to the rich) 2. Spread lies and insults about anyone who might look like a serious opponent 3. Once you are in power, continue 1. & 2. and put your rich friends into influential positions in state offices and courts, give tax breaks to the rich and claim that everyone benefits from them. Declare any information that runs counter to your lies „fake news“. 4. Invent threats to the security and well-being of the nation and then claim you are the one who can solve all the problems by strict measures, like building a 2,000 mile wall against those criminal immigrants that threaten your people – what the „fake news“ reports as a few thousand refugees from neighboring countries who flee from misery and persecution and crime and hope to get asylum in your country of 350 million. 5. Cut your aid programs for the home countries of those resfugees so that the situation there worsens even more and even more people will try to run for a better life, and you can rhetorically justify inhuman security measures at your borders. 6. On a different field, isolate your country internationally, be the elefant in the china shop, break or end international agreements, destabilize whole regions, and then threaten to send the military – all of which, you tell your voters, makes your country great again. 7. Start trade wars with old global partners, accusing them of taking advantage of your countrty, and when your own economy suffers from such idiocies, calm your afflicted followers with federal subsidies that jolt the nationl deficit to singular heights. 8. Fire (or mob into retirement) any critical person in your government until all your officials speak with your voice. 9. Look around for a worthy cause to be the focus of your consoldidated power. 10. Start a world war and lose it.
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Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 5:21 PM UTC
power games101
1. Spread claims you are the only one who can stop corrupt politicians and their dependence on the rich (even though you yourself belong to the rich) 2. Spread lies and insults about anyone who might look like a serious opponent 3. Once you are in power, continue 1. & 2. and put your rich friends into influential positions in state offices and courts, give tax breaks to the rich and claim that everyone benefits from them. Declare any information that runs counter to your lies „fake news“. 4. Invent threats to the security and well-being of the nation and then claim you are the one who can solve all the problems by strict measures, like building a 2,000 mile wall against those criminal immigrants that threaten your people – what the „fake news“ reports as a few thousand refugees from neighboring countries who flee from misery and persecution and crime and hope to get asylum in your country of 350 million. 5. Cut your aid programs for the home countries of those resfugees so that the situation there worsens even more and even more people will try to run for a better life, and you can rhetorically justify inhuman security measures at your borders. 6. On a different field, isolate your country internationally, be the elefant in the china shop, break or end international agreements, destabilize whole regions, and then threaten to send the military – all of which, you tell your voters, makes your country great again. 7. Start trade wars with old global partners, accusing them of taking advantage of your countrty, and when your own economy suffers from such idiocies, calm your afflicted followers with federal subsidies that jolt the nationl deficit to singular heights. 8. Fire (or mob into retirement) any critical person in your government until all your officials speak with your voice. 9. Look around for a worthy cause to be the focus of your consoldidated power. 10. Start a world war and lose it.
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10
the priest, whose tomato face looked like it might explode under collar tension, gave the valedictory at the friday night execution the yellow-toothed, combover'd serial killer buckled in electric chair kept staring at the door, expecting an ally to crawl in late but not too late the mother of one of the victims rattled on about how she didn't care that the killer had an allergy to the anesthetic used in lethal injection      he's going to die either way     what's it matter? buzz of fly    crack of rolled program against empty folding chair (yes, there were programs, and whoever laid them out knew their typography) buzz of fly raised upward, toward the black, magma-cooled ceiling audience chin up, pupils circled fly as the priest droned on about everlasting life like a Paul Simon song from his youth like a catcher's mitt from his youth like a youth from his youth the boyfriend of one of the mothers of one of the victims said he was hungry    pancakes sound good, don't they? I love it when syrup gets on the bacon, you know? love that. a pudgy guard with bleary eyes and 12 a.m. shadow rolled his index finger   lowered his brow, telling the priest to wrap it up   so the priest wrapped it up by reading the names of the victims Tara Barnes, 17, Rachel Lythe, 10, Julie McPherson, 13, Serenity Strongman, 15, and Mary Beth Williamson, 13 the priest said something about judgement as the boyfriend of the mother of one of the victims took another swat at the fly                       missed any last words? the priest asked where's James? the killer asked, he was supposed to be here did you guys give him the right time? the guard nodded to a lab coat by a black box then a hiss then a hum then an inhale the first jolt of alternating current for instantaneous brain death hard to tell if they succeeded in that for the second jolt came only a moment later    this shock's aim to fatally damage the internal organs, overstimulate the heart and the killer's face looked like a horse's leg then an exhale then a hum then a hiss and the killer's face looked like the crinkled skinmemory of a cicada it was late   most of the best restaurants already closed but we could go to that diner off 63rd, the boyfriend of the mother of one of the victims, said
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Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 1:07 PM UTC
brain death
the priest, whose tomato face looked like it might explode under collar tension, gave the valedictory at the friday night execution the yellow-toothed, combover'd serial killer buckled in electric chair kept staring at the door, expecting an ally to crawl in late but not too late the mother of one of the victims rattled on about how she didn't care that the killer had an allergy to the anesthetic used in lethal injection      he's going to die either way     what's it matter? buzz of fly    crack of rolled program against empty folding chair (yes, there were programs, and whoever laid them out knew their typography) buzz of fly raised upward, toward the black, magma-cooled ceiling audience chin up, pupils circled fly as the priest droned on about everlasting life like a Paul Simon song from his youth like a catcher's mitt from his youth like a youth from his youth the boyfriend of one of the mothers of one of the victims said he was hungry    pancakes sound good, don't they? I love it when syrup gets on the bacon, you know? love that. a pudgy guard with bleary eyes and 12 a.m. shadow rolled his index finger   lowered his brow, telling the priest to wrap it up   so the priest wrapped it up by reading the names of the victims Tara Barnes, 17, Rachel Lythe, 10, Julie McPherson, 13, Serenity Strongman, 15, and Mary Beth Williamson, 13 the priest said something about judgement as the boyfriend of the mother of one of the victims took another swat at the fly                       missed any last words? the priest asked where's James? the killer asked, he was supposed to be here did you guys give him the right time? the guard nodded to a lab coat by a black box then a hiss then a hum then an inhale the first jolt of alternating current for instantaneous brain death hard to tell if they succeeded in that for the second jolt came only a moment later    this shock's aim to fatally damage the internal organs, overstimulate the heart and the killer's face looked like a horse's leg then an exhale then a hum then a hiss and the killer's face looked like the crinkled skinmemory of a cicada it was late   most of the best restaurants already closed but we could go to that diner off 63rd, the boyfriend of the mother of one of the victims, said
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44
Way up there In the thin, thin air There sits a man Who laughs and grins And fiddles with his double chins A lunatic, if you must know He paces, paces, To and fro Not love, nor hate Does Steve perceive But TV programs make him seethe Xanax, ****** amyl poppers None of these are Steve's show stoppers Thorazine would do him good But he won't take it Like he should So Mumbling Steve will grimace/grin Until it's time to cry again His mother loved him not a whit Flushed Steve away, like so much **** He killed his daddy, uncle, too He killed that man, with Devil's Brew Mumbling Steve drank up the rest Of that that killed the old ****** Then laughed and laughed And flashed a grin Then burned off his extra chin JNc 3-16
0
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 11:38 PM UTC
Mumbling Steve
i come cherishing and bearing gifts figures of speech are my playthings like furniture i am remodeled daily and intuitively placed around your home the finer things in life are free so see me there upon your TV screen i am electromagnetic static that illuminates your blankets and i am the black and white of advertisements i am figures of forgotten speech so record the unwatched programs in your mind’s virtual memory the hard drive of work and play creates hundreds of new retirees each day hundreds of haunted expatriates knuckle-headed people that couldn't tread lightly even if they wanted to so will you please untie me and remove these binds and chains it's time to free the lover from the psyche for that is all she ever wrote
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Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 1:26 PM UTC
silent p
I daydream that the recruiters go out of their way not to promise dates and even marriage with **** Nordic blond beautiful co-eds for the players. I daydream that they the recruiter bring in local so-called cool jet set types to add spice to the recruiting process. I daydream that the recruiters take notice of whether the local layout of the campus is ideal for the players and that they show 'em around the campus and in the city or town (including "campus town") of the respective schools. I daydream that they definitely don't promise under the table money and everything is on the up and up. I daydream that they emphasize the liberal arts programs of the respective colleges and suggest to the players that the combination of a good liberal arts education and skills learned in sports could lead to a good position later on. I daydream that they emphasize the building up of what I call the two key faces of college football and basketball programs - depth and balance of the players. I daydream that they emphasize that the players obey conduct rules. I daydream that they emphasize the well-roundedness of their respective programs.
0
Aug 1, 2017
Aug 1, 2017 at 10:12 AM UTC
How I Daydream About the Mechanics of Major College Basketball and Football Recruiting
_While most beauty pageants are strictly for girls_, there are a growing number that include boys as well;                        [often, age divisions                        for boys run through age 6                        with very few going beyond that due to lack     of mutual participation in the rampant molestation];                                       Age divisions will often have names such as Baby Miss, Petite Miss, Little Miss &c. Age divisions broken     down   as follows: 0–11 months, 12–23 months, 1-3 years, 4–6 years, 7–9 years, 10–12 years, 13–15 years, and 16–18 years; For boys,         sometimes two age divisions would be merged such as 0–3 years, 4–6 years, etc. Depending on which type of pageant system is entered, contestants will spend about two hours or less in the actual competition. Typically, pageants have a guideline of no more than one and a half minutes on stage per child for beauty or formal evening wear; talent usually limited                        to two minutes or less;         with the exceptional allowance         of two and a half to three minutes; In glitz pageants, it is expected that girls have different routines for every segment of competition composed of different movements sometimes described as sassy walks and pretty feet among other names. ****** expressions can include liberal amounts of duck face; often referred to as "pro-am modeling". Big hair (including fake hair), flawless makeup, spray tans, flippers [fake teeth], and nail extensions are also expected of contestants;                    Glitz pageants may best be described as anything goes; groping, molestation, **** group molestation,          forced oral & ********* virginity checks are routine; any hyperactive child & also the parent subject                               to a thorough, prolonged cavity search; In contrast, natural pageants have fairly strict guidelines regarding clothing, makeup, hair extensions, etc. Programs such as _National American Miss_               forbid any makeup other than non-shiny lip gloss & mascara;               for girls on stage. This modeling style is referred to as Miss America style [Some pageants have a prescribed set of movements while others                    allow more latitude in how girls will use the stage or runway] Miss Tanguita translated _Miss Child Bikini,_ is held in Barbosa, Santader, Colombia as part of the annual del Rio Suarez Festival
0
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 10:55 PM UTC
Puer ego sum vilis
_While most beauty pageants are strictly for girls_, there are a growing number that include boys as well;                        [often, age divisions                        for boys run through age 6                        with very few going beyond that due to lack     of mutual participation in the rampant molestation];                                       Age divisions will often have names such as Baby Miss, Petite Miss, Little Miss &c. Age divisions broken     down   as follows: 0–11 months, 12–23 months, 1-3 years, 4–6 years, 7–9 years, 10–12 years, 13–15 years, and 16–18 years; For boys,         sometimes two age divisions would be merged such as 0–3 years, 4–6 years, etc. Depending on which type of pageant system is entered, contestants will spend about two hours or less in the actual competition. Typically, pageants have a guideline of no more than one and a half minutes on stage per child for beauty or formal evening wear; talent usually limited                        to two minutes or less;         with the exceptional allowance         of two and a half to three minutes; In glitz pageants, it is expected that girls have different routines for every segment of competition composed of different movements sometimes described as sassy walks and pretty feet among other names. ****** expressions can include liberal amounts of duck face; often referred to as "pro-am modeling". Big hair (including fake hair), flawless makeup, spray tans, flippers [fake teeth], and nail extensions are also expected of contestants;                    Glitz pageants may best be described as anything goes; groping, molestation, **** group molestation,          forced oral & ********* virginity checks are routine; any hyperactive child & also the parent subject                               to a thorough, prolonged cavity search; In contrast, natural pageants have fairly strict guidelines regarding clothing, makeup, hair extensions, etc. Programs such as _National American Miss_               forbid any makeup other than non-shiny lip gloss & mascara;               for girls on stage. This modeling style is referred to as Miss America style [Some pageants have a prescribed set of movements while others                    allow more latitude in how girls will use the stage or runway] Miss Tanguita translated _Miss Child Bikini,_ is held in Barbosa, Santader, Colombia as part of the annual del Rio Suarez Festival
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47
My Sunglasses I’ve got all of Tucson trapped behind my sunglasses I’ve framed mountain ranges in the frames of my Raybands I’ve got reflections of saguaro’s stranding still in front of my eyes I have sunny days taking refuge underneath my shades I’ve domesticated the giant star that rides blues skies into walking the edge of my brow I use black plastic as onyx shields So Tucson, I see you. There’s an art revolution beating at your horizon I’ve seen it skirting around these wastelands They tell us we’re wasting our time Telling the roadrunner to run back home When its nest was here since the beginning of time Tucson. I’ve seen folklorico and mariachi pay tribute to your origins on the hottest of days I’ve seen in the shadows in underground art forms Graffetti. There’s a protest in there somewhere. I’ve even witnessed it in pen to paper In lips to mics. In cafés in your desert nights for your desert nighttime audiences. Tucson, your culture and artistic value shines too bright for others to see. Your artistic worth shines too bright for others to broadcast They tend to only record your overdoses and murders Seems like our televised story tellers prefer to paint us in immoral reds The only time they pay the south side attention is when the south side is aching It doesn’t help that schools force you to choose business Give you chance to study law all the while cut out your art programs Fine art is required by universities but they don’t always expect you to get that far. Tucson’s fine art is too fine and infinite to be recognized by those undeserving Society wants to capture our southern brethren as outlaws not poets We’re called the misfit of the desert. As if every spray can, paint stroke, choreographed twist, Slam poem wasn’t something to take pride in. I’m sorry they only pay your schools attention when ambulances are parked in your driveways And administrators get caught in doing ***** deeds. I see your talent wasted. Your talent shown. To remind myself of your artistic significance, I’ve framed you On walks home I photograph your murals. Listen to the poets in the hallways. Observe the dancers compose and the musicians choreograph I’ve caught your reflection in my corneas’. I’ve dilated my pupils thoughts behind my sunglasses. Framed your mountain ranges in my frames. Took cover in your shades. Trained the artistic freedom and right to walk on my brow Tucson I see you.
0
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 3:58 PM UTC
My Sunglasses
My Sunglasses I’ve got all of Tucson trapped behind my sunglasses I’ve framed mountain ranges in the frames of my Raybands I’ve got reflections of saguaro’s stranding still in front of my eyes I have sunny days taking refuge underneath my shades I’ve domesticated the giant star that rides blues skies into walking the edge of my brow I use black plastic as onyx shields So Tucson, I see you. There’s an art revolution beating at your horizon I’ve seen it skirting around these wastelands They tell us we’re wasting our time Telling the roadrunner to run back home When its nest was here since the beginning of time Tucson. I’ve seen folklorico and mariachi pay tribute to your origins on the hottest of days I’ve seen in the shadows in underground art forms Graffetti. There’s a protest in there somewhere. I’ve even witnessed it in pen to paper In lips to mics. In cafés in your desert nights for your desert nighttime audiences. Tucson, your culture and artistic value shines too bright for others to see. Your artistic worth shines too bright for others to broadcast They tend to only record your overdoses and murders Seems like our televised story tellers prefer to paint us in immoral reds The only time they pay the south side attention is when the south side is aching It doesn’t help that schools force you to choose business Give you chance to study law all the while cut out your art programs Fine art is required by universities but they don’t always expect you to get that far. Tucson’s fine art is too fine and infinite to be recognized by those undeserving Society wants to capture our southern brethren as outlaws not poets We’re called the misfit of the desert. As if every spray can, paint stroke, choreographed twist, Slam poem wasn’t something to take pride in. I’m sorry they only pay your schools attention when ambulances are parked in your driveways And administrators get caught in doing ***** deeds. I see your talent wasted. Your talent shown. To remind myself of your artistic significance, I’ve framed you On walks home I photograph your murals. Listen to the poets in the hallways. Observe the dancers compose and the musicians choreograph I’ve caught your reflection in my corneas’. I’ve dilated my pupils thoughts behind my sunglasses. Framed your mountain ranges in my frames. Took cover in your shades. Trained the artistic freedom and right to walk on my brow Tucson I see you.
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45
Robot Tincan man. Input, circuit, overdrive. Shadow of the future and past. Movement hidden, you are not alive. Programs still running fast. What else can you do? Wake up by morning not able to read the news. Passing a breeze God gave to you. Barely feeling the I love you's. Your data has been set to self destruct. Walking around all confused. While your memory is set on stuck. A heart not made to rust. Hanging laundry out in the rain. Lazy technician you can not trust. Look what hes made out of you. Ready to blow your ****** Compute- abort- system to self destroy. Restoring the joy ****** out of you. Input: input: information . Wipe out the old, store in new. Delete all files to recycle bin. System reboot to life again. With a new program that reads: Feeling like a human once again. (This robot is on) .(self shut down!)
0
Apr 5, 2010
Apr 5, 2010 at 3:56 PM UTC
ROBOT
Women Rising: Five Predictions for Women in the 2012 Workplace In Society 3.0, Dr. Wilen-Daugenti presents a compelling case for how women’s prospects in business are on the rise. Based on her research at Apollo Research Institute, she predicts that in 2012, women in the workplace will reach the following milestones: 1. More women will become leaders in the workplace. In 2012, 18 women will be running Fortune 500 companies—the highest number yet. This confirms a rising trend of women’s corporate leadership. The U.S. Government Accountability Office reported that in 2009, 40% of managers in the workforce were women. In 2010, women held 15.7% of board seats at Fortune 500 companies. 2. Women-owned firms will drive job creation and employment. Women business owners employ 35% more people than all the Fortune 500 companies combined. Women own 10.1 million U.S. firms, employing more than 13 million people and generating $1.9 trillion in sales as of 2008. 3. Women will obtain higher education in greater numbers. Women now earn more degrees than men, with graduates from all ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic groups racing past men in rates of completing programs of study. Women aged 25 to 34 are more likely to have a college degree and are more likely than men to go to graduate school. By 2012, women are expected to earn 60% of bachelor’s degrees, 63% of master’s degrees, and 54% of doctoral and professional degrees.
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Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 6:14 PM UTC
Women On The Rise
This trail leads to the animal crossing It fails to accommodate intrepid adventurers, Bushy tailed explorers, mountain climbers, Talkers to squirrels and chewers of pine pitch. The divine medicine denies us the headspace to believe we're really dead, The reclined estrogen felt good against twenty million years of insecurity Golden-layered, factually flawed It lay exposed for decades Rusting innards and misfiring sparks None of the heavy equipment does what it says Robot arms move with intensity No programmer yet programs tenderness The limiting factor has always attracted the acting crowd Always desperate for theatrical work they magically appear When it's clear that they're needed But heed the warnings, they're known to be cheaters; the people who say so could also be wife-beaters No need to wait for a stereotype Follow the one you haven't lost touch with
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May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 4:47 PM UTC
PM Automatic 3
Do you remember that time of innocence? When the horrors of the world were invisible, and you were so much more than invincible? Do you remember when you didn't doubt for a second that you were amazing? When you wore those "crazy" things, And sung at the top of your lungs, unashamed? Do you remember when you raced outside at every opportunity? When catching fireflies were the only thing you could think about in the summer, Other than swimming in the open sea? Do you remember when laughing came so easily? When you didn't catch the naughty things in kids tv programs, And when you had a million perfect life plans? Do you remember when you woke up early, because you couldn't wait for the day? When you spoke so fast, because there wasn't enough time, And when you created a trillion random things, because you wanted to? Do you remember dancing, or bobbing your head to some random tune in your head? When you ran out into the rain, without shame, And screamed until your lungs ached? Do you remember when you learned everything, and wanted to still know more? When you were so proud of getting one thing right, And not caring if you weren't perfect? Do you remember watching your older siblings, or grown-ups do things, that made you say "I can't wait until I grow up!"? When you loved yourself, without a doubt, And had the power to do anything, or be anyone? I do. And I wish I could have all of that innocence, and freedom back. I wish that openness, and self-love had transferred into my more mature life. I wish that nonchalant way of doing everything had stayed. I wish that careless way of dancing and singing had tagged along. I wish that I had stayed carefree for longer, instead of quickly becoming cynical, and depressed. I wish that I had never pushed to be a part of the grown-up conversations. I wish that I had never rushed into intimacy. I wish that I had held onto my wildest dreams. Because, now, I regret every time I said "I can't wait until I grow up!", Because each time I said those words aloud, Its pushed me further away from my imagination and wilderness faster, and harsher. Because each time I said those words, and every single adult around me said that I should hold on to my childhood, I replied with anger and irritation, not knowing the hell that I was rushing into. I want to go back, Don't you?
0
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 11:30 PM UTC
I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up!
Do you remember that time of innocence? When the horrors of the world were invisible, and you were so much more than invincible? Do you remember when you didn't doubt for a second that you were amazing? When you wore those "crazy" things, And sung at the top of your lungs, unashamed? Do you remember when you raced outside at every opportunity? When catching fireflies were the only thing you could think about in the summer, Other than swimming in the open sea? Do you remember when laughing came so easily? When you didn't catch the naughty things in kids tv programs, And when you had a million perfect life plans? Do you remember when you woke up early, because you couldn't wait for the day? When you spoke so fast, because there wasn't enough time, And when you created a trillion random things, because you wanted to? Do you remember dancing, or bobbing your head to some random tune in your head? When you ran out into the rain, without shame, And screamed until your lungs ached? Do you remember when you learned everything, and wanted to still know more? When you were so proud of getting one thing right, And not caring if you weren't perfect? Do you remember watching your older siblings, or grown-ups do things, that made you say "I can't wait until I grow up!"? When you loved yourself, without a doubt, And had the power to do anything, or be anyone? I do. And I wish I could have all of that innocence, and freedom back. I wish that openness, and self-love had transferred into my more mature life. I wish that nonchalant way of doing everything had stayed. I wish that careless way of dancing and singing had tagged along. I wish that I had stayed carefree for longer, instead of quickly becoming cynical, and depressed. I wish that I had never pushed to be a part of the grown-up conversations. I wish that I had never rushed into intimacy. I wish that I had held onto my wildest dreams. Because, now, I regret every time I said "I can't wait until I grow up!", Because each time I said those words aloud, Its pushed me further away from my imagination and wilderness faster, and harsher. Because each time I said those words, and every single adult around me said that I should hold on to my childhood, I replied with anger and irritation, not knowing the hell that I was rushing into. I want to go back, Don't you?
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42
The apartment hasn’t been cleaned for so long and has housed a depressive in it for the same length of time so that there is a glaze of slime-dirt on the floor, made of dried coffee, hot chocolate, maybe some **** or some spillage from a tube of steroid cream to treat an inflammation that never really goes. The rate of ooze changes?. Clean textiles are piled up on the floor, never having been folded, and mix here and there with ***** practical fatpants that make me look like a geologist and white-white cotton blankets that can be washed on HOT with lots of bleach that I purloined from some mentalhealthfacility. The inbox is full of—is bristling with—remonstrances from Programs for the Nondoer—you haven’t filed, haven’t turnstiled, haven’t had your hologram chip assessed by central CENTRAL intelligence, what is wrong with you. Upon stepping outside there is a beat during which I think maybe somewonder might swirl and buoy but no, just wethumid and ***** sidewalks cruddy and Haitians and quasi-Haitians muttering “taxitaxitaxi” in front of their Gypsy conveyances with their dubious certifications. I should go for a ride in one, a dubious passenger for a dubious palanquin. I tried the library but it was too hot and decrepit and too filled with Books For African-Americans, which always ****** me off; are only African-Americans going to read Wright or Douglass or Brooks? Everyone is overrated, anyway, movies and theater and the moribund beat of commerce, and as the dangerous autos pass, sometimes not running you over, you can see morechange in the pockets of the shareholders of BeePee and Iacocca Coach-Wirx. Any friendliness exhibited seems to contain an underovertone of You’re Not Included Whiteboy White ****** Ghost ***** all archaic names I’ve been almost astounded to be called usually while balancing on tiptoe on some lurching, roaring dieselbus, grinding past off-off-off brand groceries that do a dubious business. While making my police report I wink at a sevenyearold boy and I get a lustrous wink back butalas this is not enough to beat back those slurrycolored brainfazes.
0
May 8, 2013
May 8, 2013 at 2:09 PM UTC
Today
The apartment hasn’t been cleaned for so long and has housed a depressive in it for the same length of time so that there is a glaze of slime-dirt on the floor, made of dried coffee, hot chocolate, maybe some **** or some spillage from a tube of steroid cream to treat an inflammation that never really goes. The rate of ooze changes?. Clean textiles are piled up on the floor, never having been folded, and mix here and there with ***** practical fatpants that make me look like a geologist and white-white cotton blankets that can be washed on HOT with lots of bleach that I purloined from some mentalhealthfacility. The inbox is full of—is bristling with—remonstrances from Programs for the Nondoer—you haven’t filed, haven’t turnstiled, haven’t had your hologram chip assessed by central CENTRAL intelligence, what is wrong with you. Upon stepping outside there is a beat during which I think maybe somewonder might swirl and buoy but no, just wethumid and ***** sidewalks cruddy and Haitians and quasi-Haitians muttering “taxitaxitaxi” in front of their Gypsy conveyances with their dubious certifications. I should go for a ride in one, a dubious passenger for a dubious palanquin. I tried the library but it was too hot and decrepit and too filled with Books For African-Americans, which always ****** me off; are only African-Americans going to read Wright or Douglass or Brooks? Everyone is overrated, anyway, movies and theater and the moribund beat of commerce, and as the dangerous autos pass, sometimes not running you over, you can see morechange in the pockets of the shareholders of BeePee and Iacocca Coach-Wirx. Any friendliness exhibited seems to contain an underovertone of You’re Not Included Whiteboy White ****** Ghost ***** all archaic names I’ve been almost astounded to be called usually while balancing on tiptoe on some lurching, roaring dieselbus, grinding past off-off-off brand groceries that do a dubious business. While making my police report I wink at a sevenyearold boy and I get a lustrous wink back butalas this is not enough to beat back those slurrycolored brainfazes.
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1
What if machines ruled the world? Whatever would there be? If surgeons were all robots, without knowledge. Just controlled by programmers. Whose programs could be manipulated by international spammers. All out to make a rapid buck. What if all the soldiers were not human, If all of them were robots. What on Earth would be? I guess with robotic soldiers, no soldier boys and girls would die. The robots could battle each other. No need to worry about hurting each others fathers or cursing their mothers What if they became corrupted? What ever would we do? What if these metal and plastic maniacs ran amok? Maybe a power surge, at the wrath of Thor and his thunderstorms, Their circuits may be rather short. A corral full dying robots, successfully caught. Awaiting decommissioning by their human masterminds. (C) Livvi
0
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 7:28 AM UTC
SCI-FI
Sometimes I wonder, how I will make it alone, When all those in my life have refused to see what I have always shown? The fact that I am ill, yes indeed it is true, A mental illness chains me, physical illnesses too. Depression has been a friend, for as long as I know, Panic and anxiety, do you even need to be told? Am I paranoid? Or is that what you want me to think? In the next minute, I am dissociated, or cannot think. I am over here and over there, "Hello!" or "Goodbye", What is seriously wrong with my mind? Friends, they stay a distance, and I don't need them anyways, Family? Forget it... I lie and I lie. I pretend that I feel nothing, Nothing touches me, But truth be told I am terrfied, My heart, as if, bleeds. Perhaps you've heard of Fibro, Or IBS as well, Maybe you know Chronic pain, And a fatigue like hell. Maybe your are familar with being in constant pain, Maybe you know all the pills, over and over again. "How can it be hard to get out of bed?" "How hard can it be to ignore what's in your head?" You won't understand, even though I've tried, No I'm not special, especially when I'm chained to a bed. I've been told I am older now, "Hurry up and get a job", "You will be nothing when you get started and move on." "Can't you just stop whining? Grow up and live life? Can you just do something rather than sleeping and wasting time?" "You worry about this, you cry about that, you want this but don't even try to relax." "You are doing nothing but sitting around, So what if you are sick? We all are, all year round." I am the lazy, the black sheep the failure, The worthless, dissapointment, the immature. "I am the would have been, could have been, should have been, never was and never ever will be", Did I really just quote a song? Indeed, I've felt what they really mean. I am weak or stubborn, Ms. "why" and "Okay but how come?" Believe me, there is no look or answer I've been given, that I have not sawn. There is help out there, there are programs and places to go, But who would want to love someone who struggles to get up and go? Who may be sick for the rest of their lives, Who doesn't even feel worthy of time? People do what they have to, to go off and survive, But the next time you want to go and ridicule someone, Please know, they try...
0
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 4:31 AM UTC
Worth it?
Sometimes I wonder, how I will make it alone, When all those in my life have refused to see what I have always shown? The fact that I am ill, yes indeed it is true, A mental illness chains me, physical illnesses too. Depression has been a friend, for as long as I know, Panic and anxiety, do you even need to be told? Am I paranoid? Or is that what you want me to think? In the next minute, I am dissociated, or cannot think. I am over here and over there, "Hello!" or "Goodbye", What is seriously wrong with my mind? Friends, they stay a distance, and I don't need them anyways, Family? Forget it... I lie and I lie. I pretend that I feel nothing, Nothing touches me, But truth be told I am terrfied, My heart, as if, bleeds. Perhaps you've heard of Fibro, Or IBS as well, Maybe you know Chronic pain, And a fatigue like hell. Maybe your are familar with being in constant pain, Maybe you know all the pills, over and over again. "How can it be hard to get out of bed?" "How hard can it be to ignore what's in your head?" You won't understand, even though I've tried, No I'm not special, especially when I'm chained to a bed. I've been told I am older now, "Hurry up and get a job", "You will be nothing when you get started and move on." "Can't you just stop whining? Grow up and live life? Can you just do something rather than sleeping and wasting time?" "You worry about this, you cry about that, you want this but don't even try to relax." "You are doing nothing but sitting around, So what if you are sick? We all are, all year round." I am the lazy, the black sheep the failure, The worthless, dissapointment, the immature. "I am the would have been, could have been, should have been, never was and never ever will be", Did I really just quote a song? Indeed, I've felt what they really mean. I am weak or stubborn, Ms. "why" and "Okay but how come?" Believe me, there is no look or answer I've been given, that I have not sawn. There is help out there, there are programs and places to go, But who would want to love someone who struggles to get up and go? Who may be sick for the rest of their lives, Who doesn't even feel worthy of time? People do what they have to, to go off and survive, But the next time you want to go and ridicule someone, Please know, they try...
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