in that hideous yellow lace dress

that my own mother insisted I buy

I sit uncomfortably on the couch

that your father  used to beat you on

when your mother comes in

she is all grace and big smiles

and I hate the think

I have to undo this woman's wrongs

but when I see your little brother

I think  of a younger you

I think of our future kids

I think of protecting him

and we all sit down

to say grace and eat

your father regards you

with colder eyes

and I regard you

with shaky smiles

meeting your family

the portrait perfect one

with a frame you could never fit

and broken glass I had to clean up

I am taken apart

by the random urge to whisper in your ear

"one day you won't have to pretend

we will have more than a portrait

more than still frames

we will have a whole moving picture

with the brightest moving colors and the sweetest laughter

and our little boy will look just like you"

but I just squeeze your hand

and kiss your cheek

and you'll know what I really mean

theres no pretendng here.

theres only love here.

We're sorry that we couldn't save you,
We're sorry that it had its hold
We tried hard to just rip You from it
But that dream was just how it rolled.

That darkness was 'oh so' relentless
It dragged you right down to the core
And you couldn't see past the demons
That kept pulling you more and more

It blinded your eyes with such heartache
it stole all of your soul's dignity
Pretendng that it was your saviour
When you just wanted to be free

Free from that pain and destruction
But it kept you far and away
Controlled all of your thoughts and emotions
That's why we are here today.