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A misplaced youth*

My first original rhyme –
take a “truck” drop the head and add an eff –
was hand-me-down crude,
not clever,
but how clever can you be
at four years old?

The chilly blush of it still brings
out a ringing
sound of one hand clapping
against my cheek;
then comes the deflating bawl
from pouchy flesh instantly un-stuffed
of its squirrely giggles and glee.

It put me off cheap sing-song thrills
for decades.

Same age, different flaws:
Can you be too young to develop
a finely tuned sense of entitlement
and the firmest conviction
for redistributing misbegotten wealth?

If anyone deserved a raggedy toy –
don’t call it a doll –
mouse-eared and with cherry-red shorts
cheerily poking out
of a tinsel-topped Christmas stocking,
it was me, not her.

Maybe Santa was suffering
from dementia,
or forgot his reading glasses.

I wasn’t smart enough yet
to cover my tracks,
and I didn't know any fences;
it’s hard to deny a crime
when you’re hugging the goods.

Skip ahead a few years,
and after the regular Sunday
indoctrinations of an uncharitably
faith-based brand of hero-worship,
there are all the tell-tale signs
of a sleep-sick heart
with an over-simplified world view
married to a messiah complex.

Is it normal to dream
of oneself, small but magnificently armored,
supplanting Michael
as the head of that goodly Host
driving out the evil legions?

At least I knew how to side with a winner
back then.

I also dreamed Gulliver-like,
I had been roped down to my bed
by a clutch of creepy-crawly bugs,
and in a tiny voice I could barely make out,
their spokes-beetle cried up to me:
“There will come a time
when the time finally comes,
and when it does
you’ll smack its self-satisfied face
for keeping you
waiting so long.”

My hand's always poised above the clock.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.
Viv Feb 2018
The calories
Can’t you feel them?
Churning in your stomach
Being digested slowly
Oh so slowly
Whispering promises
Of the weight they’ll add
Of the large hips
The pouchy stomach
Taunting you with reminders
Of how weak you are
All you had to do
Is say no
But you didn’t
You thought with your stomach
Not your brain
So this is your punishment
The extra weight
The big hips
Bigger stomach
Because you’re too weak to say no
And too afraid to throw up
But you’re in a perfect shape
To count them
To watch the numbers climb
And you’re trapped
In this hell
That you’re too weak to escape from
Too scared to run from
And too ashamed to seek help
So carve those hips
So big
So fat
Like that Christmas ham
Your dad just carved
So don’t stop those sit-ups
You can’t stop
Until you can see those toes
Standing up
And looking down
So look in that mirror
That blob of fat is you
Don’t listen to the lies
Everyone said you were so skinny
But now they say
“You’re too skinny”
But that’s not true
To be skinny
Is to be beautiful
So how can you be too skinny
You want to be the most beautiful
So you have to be the skinniest
And they’re wrong anyways
You’re not too skinny
They’re lying
How can they not see those rolls
Those fat hips
They just want you to fail
To not be beautiful
Or maybe they don’t understand
That the blood is beautiful
Rolling down your hips
Releasing the fat
The toxins
The calories
So don’t stop
Keep doing those sit-ups
Can you see your toes yet?
Can you count your ribs?
Are those hips nothing but bone?
Can you be strong?
Learn to say no?
An apple a day
Keeps the doctor away
So one apple a day
Is all you get
And water
The water is all you need
It’s your only friend
No calories
It doesn’t taunt you from your stomach
It cleans
Washes away your sins
It makes you pure
You want to pure
Don’t you?
The dizziness will pass
Like the weight slowly is
But it’s not enough
It will never be enough
You have to be the most beautiful
No one can be skinnier than you
So keep carving your hips
Don’t stop the sit-up
You did it!
Look at your ribs
See the skin stretch over them
Those hips are nothing but bone
Now you are truly skinny
Truly beautiful
But you know who’s skinnier?
The skeletons in your closet
They’re the beautiful ones
You have surpassed all earthly beauty
So why can’t you surpass theirs?
All you have to do
Is die
You can do it
You’ve made it this far
Don’t be afraid
When you die
You’ll be mourned
As the most beautiful of them all
Just take those pills
It won’t take much
Any calories will leave you
As quickly as they entered
And the water
The sweet, purifying water
Will wash your sins away
Don’t leave a note
Just do it now
Don’t think of them
They’re just holding you back
They’re selfish
Not wanting you to be beautiful
........
You did it!
You’re the skinniest of them all
This is what we wanted
This is great
The only issue now
Is that you can’t celebrate

— The End —