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Robert Staines Mar 2021
Nelson the Sea.

In far Looe harbour, I’ve heard tell,
A curious ****** used to dwell;
With whiskered nose, and flippered feet,
Most partial to a fishy ****;
And proudly bearing Cornwall’s fame,
Lord Nelson Sealkins was his name!

He wore a suit of Ocean Grey,
Which gleamed like silk from day to day;
And though a fearsome name he bore,
He heeded not upon that score,
No gentler Bull graced Looe’s fair town,
Though many a China Shop met his frown;
But with a flip of fin and tail,
He parted hence with no travail!

Some say he fought the Spanish fleet,
And others at Trafalgar’s meet;
When storming ships with guns around,
He lost an eye in Calvi sound;
But others say it ‘twas not so;
For gentler Seal you’d never know.

And so for twenty years they say,
Our hero sported in the Bay;
And welcoming the proud Looe Fleet,
Which oft times sailed along his beat,
Escorted them to find their berth,
But from behind to sailor’s mirth,
And for his labour often found,
A herring thrown into the sound!

Oh Grand Old Man of the Sea!
The people came from miles to see;
This Maritime beast whose latter kin,
Do shyly hide their face and fin,
Except to Attenborough’s camera crew,
And possibly just another few,
With camera lens, and patient view.

Alas! The days of Seals and Men,
Are numbered few, and in the end,
Lord Nelson Sealkins went to stay,
With Davy Jones, in far Looe Bay.
But never was so loved a Seal,
Or famed a Phocidae mourned so well.

And so Looe folk, to honour due,
A Brazen statue deigned to cast;
By Suzie Marsh’s hand and eye,
And on a column by the mast;
Sir Robin Knox-Johnston CBE,
For was no lesser man than he,
Unveiled for ever to the view,
Of visitors to Lovely Looe,
A statue of this worthy beast;
Gazing to seaward, and the East.
While up above in Naval line,
Flew planes from Squadron 849,
An honour rare; to gladly mark,
The Seal who captured many hearts,
And still today refreshes parts,
That other Seals can never do.
I'm a great fan of William McGonagall!

— The End —