"pees" poems
Human Observations (the woman pees)
if you walk the world with pen and paper
or eclectic electronic devices,
sure as the sunrise espied,
the pen will quick leak
when wearing white
and so will too the
righteous words
righteously,
thereafter
when you can't sleep and you must
slam your sweaty fist into pillow
know that the pillow is
silent thinking, dude,
you really ain't
got a hope, a
prayer
fallen asleep in the soaking tub
a thousand and one times,
ain't never drowned like
the warning ones say I
will do but only when
restless in my rustling
no-safety night sleep
in my lumpy bed,
where I’ve already
dream-drowned
a million
times
the woman pees, safe and secure,
comforted by the knowledge
that we have bathrooms
separate, her toilet,
man *** free, tho
we just finished
making sweaty,
fluid swapping
***
she does not, won't put on makeup
in her pj's to take out the garbage,
that is why she keeps loverman,
so handy, nearby, shamelessly
firm, unwavering, good god,
great for one "disposable"
use per night
when you tell your child that you love them,
and they do not reply at all, it isn't that they
don't love ya back, 'tis only that they haven't
learned to love themselves
something well that just
cannot be
taught.
the more trinkets I buy her,
more she screams stop,
but never not once
has she said, here,
take it
back
if you don't believe in Faeries and Elusives,
try, for then you have a middling chance
of getting the missing, disappearing
whole sock hiding
in her ******
back, intact
If must look up the time where your
love is currently hiding/residing,
then the probability is more than
1.000, that you no longer love
her enough, or
she, you,
not at
all
you know it is time to shut down,
hang up the pen and close the
iPad cover, surrender,
give up the poetry gig
4 real when you start
to prefer an
autocorrect
suggestion
~
More to follow.
someday.
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 7:19 PM UTC
I ate hot meals,
I brushed my teeth day and night,
I spent long hours on the mobile
with friends,
I wore well laundered clothings,
Not a single crease or a stain on them,
Before motherhood.
My home was ***** and span,
No stumbling on scattered toys,
No ***** window panes,
No tiny hands holding my skirts,
No one eagerly waiting for me on the doorsteps,
No spits,pukes, pees or poos to clean,
No teared eyes to wipe,
No tiny bundle to hold in my arms,
Getting love,warmth and satisfaction in return,
Before motherhood.
I was in control of myself,
Of my mind and thoughts,
Caretaker of my own body,
Spending hours to enhance my beauty,
To maintain grace and elegance,
Before motherhood.
Now I am a mum,
I don't mind if my hair is disheveled,
My house is a bit messy,
I am exhausted,
For the reward of a hug, a kiss
and those endearing words,"I
love you mum,you are the bestest." completes me.
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 3:36 PM UTC
*******
Never date an *******
their attitudes stink,
his neighbour is nuts,
and he pees in his sink,
His hair is always a mess,
and he struggles with cleanliness,
and sometimes they're completely hairless,
Never date an ******* He'll think you're a **** and this thought he has of you will stick,
Never date an ******* you piece of ****
Lol just kidding peace<3 haha
:*
By Larna Kira Kourtis
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:55 AM UTC
Well what can I say, he says I'm an ****
I just told him he was just full of air..
But we were the closest of friends and were
always found close together like pees in a pod.
*"So what's the plan for today windy,
"We just going to gas? or we just breathing in silence?*
**"I thought you were pulling the other cheek,
But all that comes out of you is crap Hahaha.....**
They were always getting each other in trouble with
one thing or another, if it wasn't **** holding wind in,
it was **** whispering in a lift. But not so silently,
more like a tiny trumpet going off for moments at a time.
There was one time were **** was letting off as usual,
but he let just a little too much out, and in that moment
he told ****
*"That was close, I was one **** away from a poo,*
**** couldn't contain himself and amusement turned
to horror as laughter had loosened both there grips.
And now Mr Poo who usually went diving in
the porcelain pools was now frequenting upon both.
I think I'm going to be sick said **** **** laughted and
then another friend of Poo's joined the party, cleanliness
was obsolete, now as it was like a food fight in close quarters.
Poo slipped out to freedom down the trouser leg and "SPLAT,
**** and **** stunned by poo's lack of grace. *"Could have
stayed for a while,* But **** conceded that he would have
just talked crap, like he did every time he popped out
to see his friends.
Well what could be said, a wet wipe, and **** forgot poo
had even been there. But his odour still lingered gently on.
**** was gassing on and **** clenched so not to
expel to much laughter.. especially in enclosed areas.
**** was just gassing, this duo were always going
be the closest of friends.
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
Jared and Ashwin, sitting on a tree;
Blazing it up with a **** on their *** pees.
Don't sleep on me, cuz I got a big ****
Slamming that hoe's *** like it's ping pong.
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 12:42 AM UTC
I'm the type of guy
who pees sitting down
when I'm a guest of
somebody's house
because
i may be a
drunkard but
it's not hard
to care about decency
I don't want to ***
all over the seat,
it happens all the time
when I'm this far gone
so I shamelessly
get comfortable
and relief soon
enough sweeps
also:
I automatically leave
the seat down, you see
that makes me
some kind
of a
gentleman, right?
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 3:18 AM UTC
Stuck on the actual prime meridian
where gambling and grown up shenanigans
are viewed all *****
hurting society, though I could legally go to the drain on my street
and drop a thousand twenty pees in it
nae bother
our equivalent bet
as high rollers we are surely not
I miss you Vegas
with your daft anti-reality cushions,
the strip with no history or heritage
necessarily
but with goofy drunken dreams brimming alive
and I know vice, bad, horror, addiction yadda yadda
I miss you Vegas
Feb 28, 2021
Feb 28, 2021 at 10:43 AM UTC
Lights, boredom, beer, and socks
this is how we define the outcome
of pin up girl robots
and the threshold you’re too dumb to notice
its refuse they say
like some salt tower ready to pop marmalade
No one pees the bed anymore
and why should they?
questions for an irritable spine flu
Never the less, we are doomed to listen to ****** rap music
while washing the four hundred and fifty-seventh **** sponge
on the planet Umlow
I think i may have lied
who cares, you already read it
so taking it back would only make me a badger
No
a tapir
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 10:04 PM UTC
She slumps in sleep
Paws clasped prayer-like
Dream-dozing eyelids a-simmer
A spasm-triggered flesh flick
An ear-alert to a tremorous tick
Crisp-dry nose with involuntary sniff
Old dog breath brewing brown toothed whiff
With pain weary grunt
She heaves her lumpy bulk
Onto shaky splayed legs
That hobble and limp
Catches my eye
With a puppy-pleased glint
Wags
.... and pees
Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 3:16 AM UTC
I'm drinking young, as my body gets older,
three girls, and immature conversation on a long sofa.
The drinks get colder, and colder, my chest gets warmer;
on whiskey shots with no body armour.
I taste a sound, and smell a colour of doing in my head
over social trends,
Partying with people who aren't really my friends.
My bladder feels like a knife tip on my hanging joys,
Taking long pees, and taking chances with any girl; when I've
got the confidence of the boys.
Disco lights under the party life, a quick mix to dilute my
drink with some sprite.
Not something I love, but I'm learning to like.
Hype me up with cheers, line out my favourite gin, and
put aside those heavy beers.
I've got a sweet tongue for fun, a mix of sweetness and
alcohol like my favourite chocolate. Raisin and ***
Too scared to cough; I might just throw up,
but I can't seem weak; so I'll just bro up.
Acting proud while yelling, "another cup"
I pass out, and wake up in a house that's not my house.
In a bed wrapped in a pink fluffy towel.
The someone by my side, if I can remember wasn't too
hot; but sort of mild.
By my skin marks; she seemed a little wild.
But I notice a wig on a mannequin head,
I peep to see that it wasn't the same girl from last night
lying besides me, on that bed.
She had her extras off on the dressing room table display,
She woke up saying, "good morning bae," and I went on exclaiming, "eeeyy"
She offered me breakfast, but I decided it was best
to break fast out of there.
She begged me to stay, as her one charming prince,
but you know I didn't even care.
I wasn't too sure which neighbourhood I wound up;
but it was rather me getting **** in unfamiliar corners,
then getting bound up.
Tied up in a relationship that I never signed up to.
Maybe I had too much to drink... with both drinks and her
kisses by the mouthful.
How the story goes, and soon ends,
All in the story of events.
Apr 21, 2022
Apr 21, 2022 at 3:38 PM UTC
Human Observations (the woman pees)
if you walk the world
with pen and paper,
sure as the sunrise,
the pen will leak,
when wearing
white and so
will the
words,
right
after.
when you can't sleep,and you
slam your fist into the
pillow, know that the
pillow is silent
thinking, sir,
now, you
really ain't
got a
prayer.
fallen asleep in the soaking tub
a thousand and one times,
ain't never drowned like
the warning ones say
I will do, but
really, in my
night sleep
in the
safety
of bed,
I have
drowned
a million
times.
the woman pees, safe and secure,
comforted by the knowledge
that we have bathrooms
separate, her toilet,
man *** free, tho
we just finished
making sweaty,
fluid swapping
***
she does not, won't put on makeup
to take out the garbage,
that is why she keeps
me around, her love,
firm, unwavering
once a night.
when you tell your child
that you love them, and
they do not reply,
it is not that they
don't love you back,
it is that they have
yet to learn how to
love themselves,
something
that can't
be taught.
the more trinkets I buy her,
more she screams stop,
but never not once
has she said,
here, take it
back.
if you don't believe in Faeries,
try, for then you have a
chance of getting the
missing sock,
back, intact.
If must look up the time where
you love is currently residing
then the probability is more,
> than 1.000, that you no
longer love them enuf.
you know it is time to
hang up the pen put
down the iPad, give up
on this poetry gig
when you really prefer
the autocorrect
suggestion.
More to follow.
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 6:42 AM UTC
Wherever peaches grow I go and pick 'em.
When they get ripe I try and swipe 'em.
The farmer runs out with a shotgun and wonders where's the
varmint gone?
I'm hiding by the railroad tracks stacking the peaches I've
found.
Then a freight train about a mile long rolls by hauling a bucket
of rain.
I hop aboard while beautiful clouds gather to the north.
I put my peaches in the bucket and lug it to a hidden part of
the train.
The rain begins, the night looms in, it's summer and it's
thoughts and warm.
To the clacking rumble and the patter I close my eyes and
dream.
An earthquake swallows up the people who wear horrible
masks of fright as their daily tasks are trampled.
In a favorite movie theater an illumined lady puts her hand in
mine, warm mouths, breath, skin, hair wing-soft, whole
bodies, wind, bare.
I open my eyes at sunrise there's a steady glow of light
around.
If you can believe in God, you can believe the mountains go
from purple to green.
While the last partier meanders home to bed the first farmer is
up to milk his bread.
Fruit of the world ripens audibly and cities make a silent,
distant sound.
Lonely guy stretches, rubs his eyes, pees out a passing train,
has a breakfast of peaches and rainwater.
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 8, 2015 at 5:35 PM UTC
I want our words to make love....
Let us wine and dine in pen...
Ill kiss you from the page...
We'll create no biblical sins...
So poetic
that my physical is pathetic
I mean I fumble words around you..
But when I create, I'm no fool
Subdue you...
underneath you..
I'll ***** you...
Make your feet move..
Give you shakespear cues...
Show you which way to play...
As I write out scenes of love
That last for hours into days...
I'm no genius Just a lover
That gets off to syllables
I passion write in purple
Cause the red is full of bulls...
Let our I's Collide
As we make human i Ts
Saving Graces for our diner
for in each other we both feed..
I'm sure to say I do
If you read a little deeper...
But don't read too fast
cuz I'm know to be a sleeper...
Silence is my killer
Verbal language is my gun
As I have no set targets
go on killing sprees for fun..
Im a ******
Leave women lifeless in bedrooms
Bathrooms, car seats, tee pees and Breakrooms...
Let us have a pow wow...
For I'll empty life into you...
Birth a new prince...
All in the way he touched you..
While leaving no finger prints..
Let Our words..
make Love....
Feel Death...
and Receive Life...
For I Created this to tell you
I want your soul tonight...
but every time you'll read this
You'll know that love is Write...
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 5:19 PM UTC
The stone Angel fascinates me
and repulses me
It stands about 8 feet tall in a fountain
Its made of white fake stone
It pees
He wears a gown and has wings
His white hands gather around his middle holding a far too small water jug
Unless your within 2 feet of it
You can't see the little stone jug
It stands at the Corner of Tennessee Avenue and Beech Street here
*******
in front of an ugly little strip mall
I walk by it and we smile together
That Angel and I
I said to it one day," How lucky you are to get to eternally **** on this MayBerry Hell"
He smiled back
He pees as the children play by
As temporary lovers hold hands
He pees as the old people hobble by with their canes
When giving directions, people here actually say,"You know, it's down by where that Angel pees." ***
Sometimes I wish I were he
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 11:35 AM UTC
Nine Lives (Cat From Hell)
I have a cat that just wont die,
trust me, I gave it the old college try.
It pukes, pees and poops on the floor,
brings dead animals to my front door.
I've dropped him off many of miles,
but it always comes back after awhile's.
No food or water for many of weeks,
my water bed now has many leaks.
Killing this cat is so **** tricky,
whenever I **** it, he comes back like Little Nicky.
Poisoned its food with lots of cyanide,
into the window it would collide.
Stabbed it twice, buried it in the yard,
but in like Pet Sematary, this cat will die hard.
Ran it over and over with my truck,
he just makes me look like a schmuck.
Tried to drown it in my bath tub,
this cat belongs to the nine lives club.
Every morning, I wake up in my own blood,
it laughs at me while he smokes my last bud.
He breathes fire from its meowing mouth,
he definitely came from the deep south.
I'm like Tom, he's like Jerry,
its favorite drink is a ****** Mary.
I once even fed him to my dog,
next day it came back inside a brown log.
I've punched it hard, and kicked it far,
this hell cat is the most bizarre.
Tried killing it with a single gun shot,
burned it with water that was boiling hot.
No matter what I tried it wouldn't work,
he always made me look like a stupid ****
I even burned down my own house,
there he was carrying out a dead mouse.
My whole body burning from cat scratch fever,
I chopped off its head with a sharp meat cleaver.
Put it in a huge *** and made some cat chop suey,
it tasted bad and very gooey.
After that day, I felt scratching from the inside,
two weeks later, internal bleeding is how I died.
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
It happens every Tuesday night
As faithful as can be
Her mama comes to spend the night
Just to torment me
She sits in my recliner
Her stinky feet, up high
She'll always pass a little gas
Each time, as I walk by
With her false teeth on my table
And hair all over her back
She grunts outloud when she chews her food
She sounds like a half starved yak
My toilet has to be replaced
It's never quite the same
That woman's as blind as she can be
And doesn't have very good aim
She falls asleep in my favorite chair
With her bladder like a thimble
She always pees where ever she sits
Then smiles, and starts to tremble
My wife just sits and shakes her head
Knowing, that I'm in pain
She says it's just an accident
As I clean up the stain
It happens every Tuesday Night
Old faithful, at its worst
Some men love their mother-in-law
But me, well, I'm just cursed
Mar 8, 2011
Mar 8, 2011 at 10:17 AM UTC
I want our words to make love
Let us wine and dine in pen
Ill kiss you from the page
We'll create no biblical sins
So poetic
that my physical is pathetic
I mean I fumble words around you
But when I create, I'm no fool
Subdue you
underneath you
I'll ***** you
Make your feet move
Give you shakespear cues
Show you which way to play
As I write out scenes of love
That last for hours into days
I'm no genius Just a lover
That gets off to syllables
I passion write in purple
Cause the red is full of bulls
Let our I's Collide
As we make human i Ts
Saving Graces for our diner
for in each other we both feed
I'm sure to say I do
If you read a little deeper
But don't read too fast
‘cause I'm know to be a sleeper
Silence is my killer
Verbal language is my gun
As I have no set targets
go on killing sprees for fun
Im a ******
Leaving men lifeless in bedrooms
Bathrooms, car seats, tee pees and Breakrooms
Let us have a pow wow
For I'll empty life into you
Birth a new princess
All in the way she touched you
While leaving no finger prints
Let Our words
make Love
Feel Death
and Receive Life
For I Created this to tell you
I want your soul tonight
but every time you'll read this
You'll know that love is Write
anon & m.g.
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 7:37 PM UTC
11/1/2016
15:09
Love is that feeling you get
When you open a fresh bag of cookies
Or take a tray of brownies out of the oven.
Love is that feeling you get
Right before you jump into a cold river, lake, or pool.
Love is that feeling you when when you lay in your bed and let the ocean waves drift you off to sleep after spending a whole day at the beach.
Love is that feeling you get when a puppy pees on your carpet but you can't stay angry
Love is that feeling you when a close friend successfully quits their drug habit.
Love is that feeling you get, as you drift apart from someone who was once everything you ever wanted.
Love is that feeling you get when you and that person decide it would be best if you two no longer spoke to each each other.
Love is that feeling you get as you watch your parent gracefully face death head on.
Love is that feeling you get when you think about spending the rest of your life with another person hoping that you die first so that you’ll never have to be a day without them.
But most of all, love is that feeling you get when you yearn to fall asleep next and wake up with the love of your life every night and every morning.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 1:27 AM UTC
Broken poor trash which degrades & defiles.
You lied to the courts, judge, mediator, minor's counsel, & district attorney.
A backstabber, 2 faced, hypocrite, who commited perjury.
A hunchback hammertoed hefer who gets fatter.
You live in a hoarded ***** stenched sty.
Quality is not something you search to buy.
You settle for **** bit by bit.
On your fat *** you sit.
Your ***** sag.
Your a decripid old hag with saddle bags.
You destroy relationships.
You can't form your own friendships.
Your a judgmental, prejudice, anti-social, psychotic, hermit crab.
Your a heartless blackheart who back stabs.
You take what's not yours.
By manipulation, cheating, stealing & lying.
You want my child motherless.
Your an evil diease.
Your thoughtless, your lies don't put me as ease.
You divorced my dad.
You took all I had.
You can't control your bladder.
What I want to you does'nt matter.
Greed you sought.
Your lies I fought.
You spread hate in your old lady disguise.
You believe your so clever, deceitful, & wise.
You have cellulite, verocross veins, & cottage cheese thighs.
A meat loving satanic caravore.
Who slams the door.
Pees on herself & the floor.
Has a greed for more. Always settles for poor. Vendictive evil without a cure. My life is smeared a blur from everything I am & once were.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 1:20 PM UTC
I dream not of immortality,
But of being less insignificant than some,
Not of being loved by all,
But of being liked by those I’ve met,
Not of changing the world,
But of leaving it unchanged for the better.
For there are many who will have the world changed,
For better or for worse,
Or for no reason at all.
As a king builds a temple in his own honor,
So does a dog establish dominion by peeing on a tree;
The next king builds a larger temple, and
The next dog pees higher on the tree.
It takes only a war, or a rainstorm, or the simple passing of time
To shift the balance of power, for
There will always be another king,
There will always be another dog,
And there will always be another rainstorm.
A baby cries for attention.
He cries, “I am hungry,” or
“I am tired,” or
“I have peed myself.”
And because he is helpless,
We feed him, and we hold him, and we change his diaper.
A poet also cries for attention.
But unlike the baby, his cries are often ignored,
For we do not understand what it is that he wants.
I dream not of a perfect world,
But of a world where there is more good than evil,
More peace than war,
And more joy than tears.
A world where kings build temples for babies,
Where forests and trees are abundant,
And where poets rejoice because their cries are understood.
I dream not of immortality,
But of being less insignificant than some.
Phil Lindsey 1/5/17
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 9:13 PM UTC
a dog pees on a tree,
so what, that’s average.
a baby has spaghetti
around its mouth,
pfft, that’s basic.
a woman living below you
beats on the ceiling with
a broomstick and tells
you to “keep it down!”
big deal, that’s common.
pulling your member
out of your pants and
stroking it violently
with excitement,
hey, that’s just everyday living.
but, seeing you sitting there
on that park bench,
one leg crossed over the other,
with your dog
and your book
and your sunglasses
while tears of joy stream
down your face
after something you
just read
well now…
you
don’t
see
that
everyday.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025 at 10:43 AM UTC
dog wiggles and wags and shakes his tail
while cat hisses and spits and bares its nails
dog catches ball and Frisbee alike
cat hangs around and mews when it likes
dog protects and marks its place
cat sleeps all day and is hard to trace
dog lives by pack rules and mentality
at times i think cat lives unattached to me
dog is all drool with autonomic leg kick
cat is all purr but can't catch a thrown stick
dog i must walk or run with attention
cat leaves home with barely a mention
dog marks its place again and again
cat pees in in a square box as its been trained
dog and cats both age in human years times seven
both age quickly then go to heaven
my dog is still imaginary or so it seems
and my cat has moved on live in its dreams
perhaps in the future when all is clear
say goodbye to my kitty and a puppy I'll rear....
Mar 5, 2010
Mar 5, 2010 at 5:44 AM UTC
For the sake of betterness or quickness,
The life is all about developing own customized extensions or plugins .
Better sitted pees
Better stand-up pees
Better view
Better trails
Better quality
Better quantity
Better pace
Better Understanding
Better likability
Better knowledge
Better green
Better pleasure
Better writes
Better disorientation
Better philosophy
Better stimulation
Better cycles
Better science
Better calculus
Better reads
Better rain
Better gulps
Better art
Better calendars
Better wilderness
Better awakening
Better flirting
Better cooking
Better carpentry
Better tactics
Better silence
Better touch
Better light
Better technology
Better sunsign
Better blue ticks
Better mixing
Better chaos
Better mutation
Better round-tables
Better deals
Better excretion
Better burial
Better fertilization
Better moon
Better sun
Better fun
And It rhymed , thereby set for n number possibilities.
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 6:06 AM UTC
*... he and she are thinking…a life together, still much in love, as always,
but a thought or two, once in a while…*
He
Once, she was a frog
and I kissed her
and yeah, she’s beautiful
But hell, I thought she’d come with
castle and lands and fields
I thought that was the deal
but she just told me I’ve got to get real -
they’d done away with kings and queens;
a few were beheaded, and most de-constitutionalized -
haven’t I heard? “Have you been living in a well?” she asked.
OK, fine, she comes with all beauty
and love and care and all that – yeah sure,
but a million in US bonds and a billion
in the NYSE indexed on emerging markets
would have been comfy
She
OK - this guy is the best, the greatest, cool
he’s steady, reliable, good and loving and all that -
but oh, how do I get him to wash the dishes?
There are never-ending things and chores to be done -
like tidy the bed in the mornings, vacuum once a week
there’s dust under the table
And you know, such stuff that princesses
don’t lift a delicate finger about -
will he just work on sight of a list,
and get it all done?
And how long can I have him wed and awed
about this Princess thing?
Oh, yes – and I forgot one more crucial thing
that he must always have the bowl lid down after he pees
Is it too late now – should I have included it in the pre-nuptial?
Jul 4, 2013
Jul 4, 2013 at 8:12 AM UTC