If old Mister Morte comes a knock-knock-knockin’ at your door,
Or just won’t lay off the intercom buzzer,
You tell that old misery one or more of the following
And you’ll be just fine.

1. I died at the office.

2. (In Transylvanian accent) Sorry to disappoint you, but I got here first and she’s mine. MINE! BWAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

3. Hi! Have you got one minute to talk about the endangered Guatemalan vicuna?

4. Sure, just give me a second to slip out of this body into my true pandimensional form….ssssssssssss……

5. Can’t come right now, me and hubby are quarantined….oh, it’s for him….okay.