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"painless" poems
They have spent their content of simpering, holding their lips this and that way, winding the lines between their brows. Old folks allow their bellies to jiggle like slow tamborines. The hollers rise up and spill over any way they want. When old folks laugh, they free the world. They turn slowly, slyly knowing the best and the worst of remembering. Saliva glistens in the corners of their mouths, their heads wobble on brittle necks, but their laps are filled with memories. When old folks laugh, they consider the promise of dear painless death, and generously forgive life for happening to them.
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28k
Old Folks laugh
Dry winds of monsoon rainless Caress my little hair idly Fire crackers acrid painless Waft up quite widely The elements treat me fine Yes, they are all democratic Often verging on divine Tho’ folks call em lunatic Bother not, friends Folks are easily dumb That’s how it ends - Tom, **** and a thumb Tho’ nothing might augur well Keep being until groundswell
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Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 4:22 PM UTC
BUILDUP
Dung trampled upon Though soft, boneless and painless Cripples a good leg
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Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 11:21 PM UTC
****
Frozen in the darkness silence peacefully shrouds me hoping that I am breathless, praying he wont see, this sublime sorrow I am gasping in the pain swallowing bitter tears seconds from insane. Defining the emotion each and every time trying not to echo, balancing on the line, silence is a killer but not my reason to die hearing in this deafness will always make me cry. The shadows over take me, speak the unspoken curse just as well I am dying can't bear to smell this hearse. Weighed down by lost tomorrows my memory finally broke, why is it always my own hands gripped to make me choke? His hug comforts my stomach blindly in his sleep not knowing in this darkness my eyes can't help but weep, obscurity plays around me tries to steal my breath every time I close my eyes I know I’m close to death. Panic underestimates the power the black withholds carving me so gently, painless as it moulds I sweat out my reaction cause words can't find a voice, helplessly devoted to lay I have no choice. Everything suffocates can't bear to close my eyes repeated optimism as I see how everyone dies, my mind is there to haunt me it never gives me peace all the pills digested at will, still wont make it cease. Night is a blur now confused by chemical reaction convulsions rage as death excels performing its extraction, in the mix I see his face traumatised by my choice, it's made but time has gone his actions futile as sight begins to fade, regret stabs flesh repentantly too late to change effect I know he’ll cry forever at his failure to correct. My selfish, vengeful actions will speak louder than my word he never seen the suicide…do you think he finally heard?
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Aug 8, 2010
Aug 8, 2010 at 7:07 AM UTC
Doctors Permission
Frozen in the darkness silence peacefully shrouds me hoping that I am breathless, praying he wont see, this sublime sorrow I am gasping in the pain swallowing bitter tears seconds from insane. Defining the emotion each and every time trying not to echo, balancing on the line, silence is a killer but not my reason to die hearing in this deafness will always make me cry. The shadows over take me, speak the unspoken curse just as well I am dying can't bear to smell this hearse. Weighed down by lost tomorrows my memory finally broke, why is it always my own hands gripped to make me choke? His hug comforts my stomach blindly in his sleep not knowing in this darkness my eyes can't help but weep, obscurity plays around me tries to steal my breath every time I close my eyes I know I’m close to death. Panic underestimates the power the black withholds carving me so gently, painless as it moulds I sweat out my reaction cause words can't find a voice, helplessly devoted to lay I have no choice. Everything suffocates can't bear to close my eyes repeated optimism as I see how everyone dies, my mind is there to haunt me it never gives me peace all the pills digested at will, still wont make it cease. Night is a blur now confused by chemical reaction convulsions rage as death excels performing its extraction, in the mix I see his face traumatised by my choice, it's made but time has gone his actions futile as sight begins to fade, regret stabs flesh repentantly too late to change effect I know he’ll cry forever at his failure to correct. My selfish, vengeful actions will speak louder than my word he never seen the suicide…do you think he finally heard?
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32
Lucid eyelid whispers awoke the silk in his skin, the fingers in their heart The teeth in his eyes pierced their bones with sweet, painless mosquito kisses
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Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 2:31 PM UTC
mosquito kisses
recovery is not pretty. it is not painless or simple or instant. it is a road littered with backsliding and obstacles and doubt. a path marred with reopened scars and sleepless nights and feigned smiles. recovery is rubberbands and ice cubes and pacing and cigarettes. it is phone calls at 3am when you can barely breathe and all the walls are closing in. it is screaming at the ones you love because they love you too much to let you break your skin. it is long sleeves and overly-cautious internet browsing and lots of movies. it is eating way too much ice cream and taking walks in the middle of the night. it is hard. recovery is hard. it is messy. it is painful and chaotic. but it is not impossible.
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Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC
Recovery
Have you ever been angry? So angry you've scared yourself. Because for a second you saw that face staring back from within. An immense depth fast approaching. So absent of light the only reason you caught a glimpse was those eyes. Beaming back at you with illumination so frightening your core began to shudder and rumble. Crumbled down and watched this beast claw its way out. Over rock and mortar. Through coarse cage of steel. Those cold eyes staring down - helplessly watching. This beast was once kept sealed. Who gave it this key to destruction. This shapeless fluid in motion soulless tragedy. Black velvet drape dipped in fiery energy. Pure hate which had been compressed for eternity. Now concentrated and intent on wreaking havoc. I sent my armies. I sent them all. Countless deaths and yet I sent more. Quick slaughter - not the painless type. This beast they could not stall. Thrashes of bodies. Clawed and torn. Festering flesh flying from fallen. Axe, Sword and Mace soaked, dripping in warm fresh blood-pounding hate. Shatters of armor and unrecognizable corpses. What do I do? It seeks me as a vessel - to be worn. I can feel the hate changing me. Quickly now or I'll soon deform.
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Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
Nurturing the Beast
The time sways Forth and back Through the light Happiness shines Smiling bright Everything that felt fine Now are crowded in a sack Closed, taped, not my way It kills me,little slow deaths To have them go with A part of me alive Why do the cure of emptyness Has to have an end Left with that painless ache That creates a hole deep in pain A member lost in my chaos Returned by their ignorance In the place which thy fitted Now asks for coverage It can't even be masked For they cutted it broad and wide It kills me,little slow deaths To have them go With a part of me alive. That they never feel How my elated heart smiled When their smiles were around They never cared for what I gave up in the flick of eyes Mesmerised by the sunkissed times All they did was, Find the ink to my page And filled me up with their Promising words All they did then was Give up on me When they found that I was filled up to brimm So they took away me from me With some that belonged there's And with some that I never cared. All they did was left me bereft.
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Jun 15, 2015
Jun 15, 2015 at 2:33 PM UTC
Bereft
Life can be painless Provided there is sufficient Peacefulness For a dozen or so rituals To be repeated simply Endlessly Your genius does not fail you It allows you to understand the Truth of the situation; Which makes you--at times-- more tragic than ever And your genius, like all geniuses Suffers periodic fits of monumental naïveté Hi-ho Listen: Where is Grace When milk and blood Are about to be added To the composition of the Stinking ping-pong ***** being manufactured In Grand Rapids? Schizophrenia The sound and appearance Of the word fascinates It sounds and looks to me Like a human being Sneezing in a blizzard of Soapflakes This much we know: You made yourself hideously Uncomfortable by not narrowing Your attention to details Of life that were immediately Important And by refusing to believe what Your neighbors believed Hi-ho Let your imagination continue To be the flywheel on the Ramshackle machinery of the truth. But not the ‘awful’ truth The ‘beauty’ in truth Because we are a part Of a system that is very Restless, With people tearing around All the time Every so often, somebody stops to put up A monument Ours is a country where Everybody is expected to Pay his own bills for Everything, And one of the most Expensive things a person Can do is get sick Grace: Because if we stay here We’ll do one of two things (or both!) Build a Commune Or do like Collin Heise did: Make the main thing that we do be this: Move seventy-eight Thousand pounds of olives To Tulsa, Oklahoma Even if we can’t Improve the quality of our surroundings We’ll do our best to make our Insides beautiful instead Piebald Roadtrip-writing, baby Hi-ho You are the turtle able to live anywhere even under water for short periods With your home on your back A particular comfort in Realizing that it so often feels There is no order in the World around us That we must adapt ourselves to The requirements of Chaos instead Remember: We are healthy Only to the extent that Our ideas are Humane To you To me To ourselves To We
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Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013 at 9:05 PM UTC
86 Kurt Vonnegut
Life can be painless Provided there is sufficient Peacefulness For a dozen or so rituals To be repeated simply Endlessly Your genius does not fail you It allows you to understand the Truth of the situation; Which makes you--at times-- more tragic than ever And your genius, like all geniuses Suffers periodic fits of monumental naïveté Hi-ho Listen: Where is Grace When milk and blood Are about to be added To the composition of the Stinking ping-pong ***** being manufactured In Grand Rapids? Schizophrenia The sound and appearance Of the word fascinates It sounds and looks to me Like a human being Sneezing in a blizzard of Soapflakes This much we know: You made yourself hideously Uncomfortable by not narrowing Your attention to details Of life that were immediately Important And by refusing to believe what Your neighbors believed Hi-ho Let your imagination continue To be the flywheel on the Ramshackle machinery of the truth. But not the ‘awful’ truth The ‘beauty’ in truth Because we are a part Of a system that is very Restless, With people tearing around All the time Every so often, somebody stops to put up A monument Ours is a country where Everybody is expected to Pay his own bills for Everything, And one of the most Expensive things a person Can do is get sick Grace: Because if we stay here We’ll do one of two things (or both!) Build a Commune Or do like Collin Heise did: Make the main thing that we do be this: Move seventy-eight Thousand pounds of olives To Tulsa, Oklahoma Even if we can’t Improve the quality of our surroundings We’ll do our best to make our Insides beautiful instead Piebald Roadtrip-writing, baby Hi-ho You are the turtle able to live anywhere even under water for short periods With your home on your back A particular comfort in Realizing that it so often feels There is no order in the World around us That we must adapt ourselves to The requirements of Chaos instead Remember: We are healthy Only to the extent that Our ideas are Humane To you To me To ourselves To We
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98
she stands here with her back against the wall she helps me lock my door when i'm crouched on all four it's just a diet keep it quiet my problems lay in numbers medical language wont help me here leave it alone i'll do this on my own dont tell me it's dangerous cuase i'm allready painless (c.m.h)
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Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC
Ana
Go out to the tarmac shove a pig into dirt Listen to the squeal make sure it hurt Hogtie'em smack'em on the *** into the van collect'em off the street and can them in the tan Ford Transit then we off to the chop shop The ****** butchers gonna cut some cop Drag them up feet first arms tied to the side Hang em up to dry over a reservoir for the gore Cut the cartery artery while they cry no more Whats it all for, whats it all for, a long pig cookout A hairless goat bled out now its time to get guts out Bleed slows to a drip time to take a head simply twist Off it comes like pop easy as a ******* croptop Get your blade nice and sharpish cuz next on the list Is skinning a cop shave off fuzz into the slop Then drag a knife from the plexus to the **** Tie off the **** and yank the excess its painless **** up and you can try again pick another off the herd Cut up again and again plenty of pork to slaughter Almost ready for the grill party just gotta get meat ready Detach arms, halve and quarter, keep your hands steady Time to get out the coriander and chili powder Hammer with a tenderizer on the counter Cuts of steaks without any guilt, all free range As I bite into a roast I make a toast to my rage That made this deranged cookout, pig liver on toast With some grits and cornbread as the feds approach Hundred cops'll will roll on the grillmaster Hundred shots out swiss cheesed by the ******** Read in the paper a monster cop killer Killed for fighting the terror with terror
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Jun 24, 2020
Jun 24, 2020 at 11:12 PM UTC
Grill Party
Go out to the tarmac shove a pig into dirt Listen to the squeal make sure it hurt Hogtie'em smack'em on the *** into the van collect'em off the street and can them in the tan Ford Transit then we off to the chop shop The ****** butchers gonna cut some cop Drag them up feet first arms tied to the side Hang em up to dry over a reservoir for the gore Cut the cartery artery while they cry no more Whats it all for, whats it all for, a long pig cookout A hairless goat bled out now its time to get guts out Bleed slows to a drip time to take a head simply twist Off it comes like pop easy as a ******* croptop Get your blade nice and sharpish cuz next on the list Is skinning a cop shave off fuzz into the slop Then drag a knife from the plexus to the **** Tie off the **** and yank the excess its painless **** up and you can try again pick another off the herd Cut up again and again plenty of pork to slaughter Almost ready for the grill party just gotta get meat ready Detach arms, halve and quarter, keep your hands steady Time to get out the coriander and chili powder Hammer with a tenderizer on the counter Cuts of steaks without any guilt, all free range As I bite into a roast I make a toast to my rage That made this deranged cookout, pig liver on toast With some grits and cornbread as the feds approach Hundred cops'll will roll on the grillmaster Hundred shots out swiss cheesed by the ******** Read in the paper a monster cop killer Killed for fighting the terror with terror
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31
Your always playing the victim or guilt tripping me. With eyes wide open, tell me what you see....... The dark green forest falls quiet in the blackest night. With a fresh, bleak snow hiding a monster out of my sight. Down the path and out through the thistles Escaping "it's" lungs pierce the night sky like a whistle. Suffocating with fear, now I know that I'm done Before the battle begins, "it" thinks the battle won. I'm in shock on the ground and can't move not one little bit. My head in my hands, falling down, not wanting to quit. "It's" eyes are my death and "It's" thoughts are of pain The storm clouds approaching, but it's not going to rain. The distance between us nearly closes right in Now, the true test is here, terror right under the skin. "It's" voice is demonic and sounds of my demise. Just the sight of "it" and I start praying for a painless goodbye. I run and I run, but no chance, I will make it So stygian now that I'm bleeding, falling into a steep pit. Pitch-black of all hollows, reaching for the next mental wall. My legs are all bruised up and wrist broken from the fall. My screams are like razors that cut through the air As I jump like a rabbit and out where it is clear. The insects are buzzing to warn me to stop soon. A symphony of the night just humming it's' tune. And here is where I left you, as I stand toe to toe. I told you before I just want you to go. You have no goodness inside, just a monster, you've made. The battle within your own mind will, again, be replayed. As you turn and walk away, I wipe away a fresh teardrop You've hurt me all that I can allow and now you must stop. Master manipulator and thief, you've stolen my heart. You showed me I was strong that day , now I can have a fresh start.
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Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC
Master Manipulator
Your always playing the victim or guilt tripping me. With eyes wide open, tell me what you see....... The dark green forest falls quiet in the blackest night. With a fresh, bleak snow hiding a monster out of my sight. Down the path and out through the thistles Escaping "it's" lungs pierce the night sky like a whistle. Suffocating with fear, now I know that I'm done Before the battle begins, "it" thinks the battle won. I'm in shock on the ground and can't move not one little bit. My head in my hands, falling down, not wanting to quit. "It's" eyes are my death and "It's" thoughts are of pain The storm clouds approaching, but it's not going to rain. The distance between us nearly closes right in Now, the true test is here, terror right under the skin. "It's" voice is demonic and sounds of my demise. Just the sight of "it" and I start praying for a painless goodbye. I run and I run, but no chance, I will make it So stygian now that I'm bleeding, falling into a steep pit. Pitch-black of all hollows, reaching for the next mental wall. My legs are all bruised up and wrist broken from the fall. My screams are like razors that cut through the air As I jump like a rabbit and out where it is clear. The insects are buzzing to warn me to stop soon. A symphony of the night just humming it's' tune. And here is where I left you, as I stand toe to toe. I told you before I just want you to go. You have no goodness inside, just a monster, you've made. The battle within your own mind will, again, be replayed. As you turn and walk away, I wipe away a fresh teardrop You've hurt me all that I can allow and now you must stop. Master manipulator and thief, you've stolen my heart. You showed me I was strong that day , now I can have a fresh start.
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32
Would anyone really notice if I die? Would anyone really care? Does anyone notice the slits on my arm? Does anyone see the pain inside me? I contemplate suicide, and death.... and whether it should be slow and painful, or if should be quick and painless... Do I live? Or, do I die? That is my question. I think of my past pain, and depression. I think of the present, and the future... Does any of it even matter anymore? Do I even matter anymore? All I am is a disappointment to everyone, and I hurt them, without knowing it. So, do I live? or, do I die? I choose....
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Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 9:48 AM UTC
To live or To die... that is the question.
All are limitory, but each has her own nuance of damage. The elite can dress and decent themselves, are ambulant with a single stick, adroit to read a book all through, or play the slow movements of easy sonatas. (Yet, perhaps their very carnal freedom is their spirit's bane: intelligent of what has happened and why, they are obnoxious to a glum beyond tears.) Then come those on wheels, the average majority, who endure T.V. and, led by lenient therapists, do community-singing, then the loners, muttering in Limbo, and last the terminally incompetent, as improvident, unspeakable, impeccable as the plants they parody. (Plants may sweat profusely but never sully themselves.) One tie, though, unites them: all appeared when the world, though much was awry there, was more spacious, more comely to look at, it's Old Ones with an audience and secular station. Then a child, in dismay with Mamma, could refuge with Gran to be revalued and told a story. As of now, we all know what to expect, but their generation is the first to fade like this, not at home but assigned to a numbered frequent ward, stowed out of conscience as unpopular luggage. As I ride the subway to spend half-an-hour with one, I revisage who she was in the pomp and sumpture of her hey-day, when week-end visits were a presumptive joy, not a good work. Am I cold to wish for a speedy painless dormition, pray, as I know she prays, that God or Nature will abrupt her earthly function?
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3.7k
Old People's Home
I feel the cold ..the cold within fightin ,biting..a painless din creeping slowly yet full of speed the coldness claws ..my feet retreat Mind so full of emptyness ..yet spinning ,grasping faultless youth hurt inside ..the mad old fool itching for the real truth
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Feb 11, 2011
Feb 11, 2011 at 2:41 AM UTC
mole
Kindness is an essence painless for us to reach The smallest one makes our journey light A memory of a kindness seldom ever leaves Brings a smile to our faces When it is recalled In our sight Such a powerful virtue is contained in kindness Though often considered insignificant It is a choice each one of us carries within us To nourish a seed of hope in a soul In dire need Of replenishment Kindness is a gentle element, smoothing tension Throughout energy flowing in us all Abundantly, in supply, to each and everyone A choice, perhaps considered insignificant With an effect, one could never Consider small
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Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010 at 1:19 PM UTC
No Small Kindness
“you ain’t a man until you’re given a gun.” he said. but I knew better. giving a boy a gun doesn’t make him a man. it makes him a boy with a gun. my hands were made for pens, not glocks. I told him his were too. he laughed and said, “nah, my hands are made the same as every other boy on this block. you cut off my finger, it’s still gon’ bleed.” I tried to argue but he said, “these hands steal **** money, jewelry, clothes. hell, these hands steal lives!” and he was right about that. he had the same dirt on his hands that any other boy around here had. still, I think his hands were made for pens, not glocks. maybe he would’ve picked up a pencil if his hands hadn’t gotten so used to holding a gun. he was nineteen. he was young and angry and ready to fight, and he didn’t know exactly why, but he knew he had to be. the streets here are where people disappear when it gets dark, and where no one asks questions when the sun comes up. there are no flowers growing next to the sidewalk. here, there are bags of crack and gold chains and Cuban cigars. there are plants here, but no flowers. I was taught that here, they don’t follow laws, but they need to follow rules. most rules here are unwritten. instead, they are ingrained into the street’s children, a mantra that you could die for not remembering. he said, “if I die, it’s gon’ be sprawled out on concrete. no way I’m going down without a fight.” here, they are still fighting wars that ended years ago everywhere else. here, they grow up without mothers and fathers. they learn to feed themselves as soon as they no longer need a baby bottle. here, it is strange to not join in on the violence. it is strange to not participate in drive-by shootings. it is strange to not want revenge. here, strange is dangerous. things are the way that they are and this is the way they have always been. here, he was any other nineteen-year-old boy. here, they would say he died naturally. he stepped a little too far into view and a bullet struck him in the right spot. or the wrong spot, depending on how you see it. quick and almost painless for him, but that hurt moved on to everyone else. here, there are no rights and no wrongs. things are not good or bad. things simply are. his mama sobbed when she heard what happened. she cried for him, but also for every other boy on the block. she cried for the boy who ended her son’s life, because she knew he wasn’t any different than any other boy here. she cried for all the mothers who lost their sons, and for all the children born into this life. here, they don’t have to die for you to lose them. this life takes them from you, dead or alive. he was a friend, and a brother, and a son. he could’ve been a writer, or an athlete, or a ******* astronaut for all I know. but in the end, he was only a boy with a gun. here, they call that a man.
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Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 12:52 AM UTC
stolen by the streets
“you ain’t a man until you’re given a gun.” he said. but I knew better. giving a boy a gun doesn’t make him a man. it makes him a boy with a gun. my hands were made for pens, not glocks. I told him his were too. he laughed and said, “nah, my hands are made the same as every other boy on this block. you cut off my finger, it’s still gon’ bleed.” I tried to argue but he said, “these hands steal **** money, jewelry, clothes. hell, these hands steal lives!” and he was right about that. he had the same dirt on his hands that any other boy around here had. still, I think his hands were made for pens, not glocks. maybe he would’ve picked up a pencil if his hands hadn’t gotten so used to holding a gun. he was nineteen. he was young and angry and ready to fight, and he didn’t know exactly why, but he knew he had to be. the streets here are where people disappear when it gets dark, and where no one asks questions when the sun comes up. there are no flowers growing next to the sidewalk. here, there are bags of crack and gold chains and Cuban cigars. there are plants here, but no flowers. I was taught that here, they don’t follow laws, but they need to follow rules. most rules here are unwritten. instead, they are ingrained into the street’s children, a mantra that you could die for not remembering. he said, “if I die, it’s gon’ be sprawled out on concrete. no way I’m going down without a fight.” here, they are still fighting wars that ended years ago everywhere else. here, they grow up without mothers and fathers. they learn to feed themselves as soon as they no longer need a baby bottle. here, it is strange to not join in on the violence. it is strange to not participate in drive-by shootings. it is strange to not want revenge. here, strange is dangerous. things are the way that they are and this is the way they have always been. here, he was any other nineteen-year-old boy. here, they would say he died naturally. he stepped a little too far into view and a bullet struck him in the right spot. or the wrong spot, depending on how you see it. quick and almost painless for him, but that hurt moved on to everyone else. here, there are no rights and no wrongs. things are not good or bad. things simply are. his mama sobbed when she heard what happened. she cried for him, but also for every other boy on the block. she cried for the boy who ended her son’s life, because she knew he wasn’t any different than any other boy here. she cried for all the mothers who lost their sons, and for all the children born into this life. here, they don’t have to die for you to lose them. this life takes them from you, dead or alive. he was a friend, and a brother, and a son. he could’ve been a writer, or an athlete, or a ******* astronaut for all I know. but in the end, he was only a boy with a gun. here, they call that a man.
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102
they say that suicide is painless but i know for a fact that the day after isn't nor the day after or the day after that but i think the pain of a sliced up wrist cannot sum up to the pressure swelling in my head at the idea of facing another day of surviving
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May 25, 2013
May 25, 2013 at 8:13 PM UTC
surviving
Welcome to the fast lane of... hold on I’m vibrating. Cell phone flips open thumbs move like clockwork even when inattentive eyes start dead at the chalkboard. 1st period notes to last period quizzes, the mind makes no error between the difference where letters A and S go. The world is filled tweets on Twitter and texts to Timmy’s tiny little brother. Excuse me please, I’ll take a super-sized Facebook but please leave out homework because I’d like a tall glass of procrastination. I’ll take a ride on the super highway that is a cell phone. Mile long texting to the person right next to me.   Hey generation X take a seat and have a laugh at generation TEXT. I’d like to be the first to say welcome to end of conversation. Please take a look around but you might miss the latest drama if you happen to glance down. Life is quick , easy and painless but didn’t momma always teach us that that **** was dangerous? But, hey, what can I say to change the minds of those who have change their ideas on life about a hundred million times. I’m just another face in the crowd that has a phone out and my face down. Whatever happened to actually speaking words that could open doors and let loose a sense of humanity? Would you like to know answer? Well here it is.... wait, I have check Facebook.
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Jan 5, 2013
Jan 5, 2013 at 12:24 AM UTC
Mile Long Texting
A quick, (not) painless way To abandon all of your struggles. An attempt to feel special, they say, While in reality it's so much more. They say only a coward would do it, But i tried to take the life Of the child i once were, And the adult i could become.
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Jul 5, 2025
Jul 5, 2025 at 5:41 AM UTC
Suicide
A life without changes, would be painless, Carefree one would obtain eternal happiness but also boredom, The bittersweetness of the changes in our lives, heartfelt emotions, Pain, regret, sadness are what push us forward, make us who we are, The change for the better or worse is for us to decide and take, A world without change, would simply be stuck in the past while the future seems to be out of reach, too far away to ever grasp it, A heart who doesn't change, is ignorant and cannot see truly anything without shaking in fear of the unknown, a fear to evolve, So from now on I will not dwell in the past crying for the phantoms long gone, who have taken their chance and vanished into a better future with memories they made which can be held dear, close. Let go of what chains you into the misery you felt when you lost it. All suffering comes from being too attached to one thing. So my old friend, the name you gave me, the warmth you gave me, The smile you showed me, the emotions you invoke in me, I will remember them well and hold them dear, But you will not return, so I must let you go, And the name you gave me ~ U̶m̶i̶ Murasame
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Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 8:49 AM UTC
Changes
【A Mosquito, Killer’s kisses】 By Angel. XJ  09/08/2019 Gentle, but deeply ... Mosquito whispers to herself : Will I have the last kiss with him tonight? Shall I forget how much it hurt, when he left from my sight? Shall I ever speak to him agian   I am not a killer, only I love to kiss, gentle, but deeply... Mosquito toned up her silky voice, she was singing to herself, in the spring a paradise, in the summer a hell, and in the autumn a heaven.. But is there another lonesome heart that I could kiss? Dont keep reminding me about The Valley of the Shadow of Death I am no killer, but addicted to kisses, I am no killer,  but only like to kiss Likewise, Mozart’s requiems where hidden the code, A mosquito’s love and destiny. Gently, but deeply... Mosquito stops her whisper, No more kisses and only shows teeth, desperation in her eyes it pierced her bones. With sweet, painless, a Mosquito, killer's kisses, gentle, but deeply...
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Aug 9, 2019
Aug 9, 2019 at 3:49 PM UTC
【A Mosquito, Killer’s kisses】
Even though your funeral was in the summer, It felt like autumn the way the tears Hung off Aunt Shelley's jawbone like cold raindrops On the eaves of the old porch, The way Grandpa's eyes were too red and wet and A thousand years away, The way Dad's sorrow poured out of folded arms and tight lips, Soft like worn leather, The way it rained too lightly to add any cliché dreariness. I just couldn't think of that red granite box as you, even though I Knew It was the soft gray remains of your body. Death is not like winter, cold and harsh Death is autumn, life draining from bodies, Life drip-dripping from stuttering lips and Once-strong grips Death is watching summers of laughter and hugs fade to Hospital rooms and rain-grey skin and Slow sad songs like wind in red-brown, dead-brown leaves And feeling a slow, quiet loneliness invade your veins. Your death was not cold, impersonal sterile white; it was the Aching melancholy melody of removing One shade of green From a palette, not noticed in the painting at large But felt  keenly in the way the artist's hand no longer Cues that brushstroke. Watching you die was watching all the green leach out of the leaves And turn them briefly, painfully on fire, Standing in a field of emerald grass and feeling it Crinkle and turn yellow-orchre under cold fingers Collapsing into mud. Watching Death from the outside is the single Most painful part of your painless process. When you took your last breath, your features were a Picture-perfect memory of peace, even as my face was a Mask of confusion, my chest heaving with stale hospital air The way yours would never again. I wanted to run outside and imagine all the trees turning red-gold In your honor, mimicking your final Blaze of glory in that last smile. Autumn came early that year, though no trees Turned Til October. Even in the middle of spring I can smell the Rain-woods-wind-wine scent of your autumn soul And it makes me smile.
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Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 9:13 PM UTC
Great-Grandfather, of Autumn
Even though your funeral was in the summer, It felt like autumn the way the tears Hung off Aunt Shelley's jawbone like cold raindrops On the eaves of the old porch, The way Grandpa's eyes were too red and wet and A thousand years away, The way Dad's sorrow poured out of folded arms and tight lips, Soft like worn leather, The way it rained too lightly to add any cliché dreariness. I just couldn't think of that red granite box as you, even though I Knew It was the soft gray remains of your body. Death is not like winter, cold and harsh Death is autumn, life draining from bodies, Life drip-dripping from stuttering lips and Once-strong grips Death is watching summers of laughter and hugs fade to Hospital rooms and rain-grey skin and Slow sad songs like wind in red-brown, dead-brown leaves And feeling a slow, quiet loneliness invade your veins. Your death was not cold, impersonal sterile white; it was the Aching melancholy melody of removing One shade of green From a palette, not noticed in the painting at large But felt  keenly in the way the artist's hand no longer Cues that brushstroke. Watching you die was watching all the green leach out of the leaves And turn them briefly, painfully on fire, Standing in a field of emerald grass and feeling it Crinkle and turn yellow-orchre under cold fingers Collapsing into mud. Watching Death from the outside is the single Most painful part of your painless process. When you took your last breath, your features were a Picture-perfect memory of peace, even as my face was a Mask of confusion, my chest heaving with stale hospital air The way yours would never again. I wanted to run outside and imagine all the trees turning red-gold In your honor, mimicking your final Blaze of glory in that last smile. Autumn came early that year, though no trees Turned Til October. Even in the middle of spring I can smell the Rain-woods-wind-wine scent of your autumn soul And it makes me smile.
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